This particular guy said he wanted to be character in my book, so I'm making him a character on my blog for now. Let's just call him the doctor.
I've only seen the doctor twice. The first time was when my friend was introducing him as her new man. They met in class and started hooking up. As of now they can't remember how long they were together. They claim they were never a couple. They were only having sex. She broke it off with him because she met a new man that wanted to make it official with her. That new man is now her husband. My friend also wants to see me happy in a relationship. We talk about this every time we speak.
In the past my friend has tried to hook me up with a man once. We'll call him the emotional mess. The emotional mess was not in the same city as me. He lived far, was disabled, and my only chance of meeting him was if I traveled to him. The emotional mess also didn't have a college degree, but that part wasn't that important. I did talk to him on the phone a couple of times. Because I was a writer and kind of good at poetry, I wanted to share that with him. During one conversation I shared a poem with the emotional mess and he started crying. The emotional mess then told me about all his past emotional problems and how he just wanted to heal from the pain. It was sweet and annoying at the same damn time. I was a good listener and helped him through his issues. Soon after that he met the woman of his dreams and removed me as a Facebook friend. My services were clearly no longer needed.
Other than the emotional mess, my friend and I once shared this joke about me dating one of her exes after she finished with him. I wasn't serious. We'll call him the cheater. While she and the cheater were together, he was creeping with his ex-girlfriend. She found out about his affair after he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant. When she told me about the pregnancy, she asked me if I still wanted the cheater since she was done with him. I absolutely did not.
I guess she forgot that it was supposed to be a joke because she recently tried to hook me up with the doctor. Well, she said the doctor went to her and told her about his interests in me. He doesn't live in Houston, so it would be a long distance relationship. Both her and the doctor explained to me that they never dated. She admitted all they did was have sex and he was good in bed.
But anyway, they claim they never dated. But since they were involved sexually would they make them exes? I say yes. What do you think?
WWW.SEARCHINGFORMYSTAR.COM, My Life Your Entertainment. Your Life Everyone's Entertainment.
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Friday, August 26, 2016
Memories Back Then (Poem)
I couldn't think of a title, so I titled it after T.I.'s song.
I miss you
I really do
Do you remember me?
Are you holding onto the memories
It's really just sexual chemistry
The sexual memories
That keeps me coming back to you
The sex more rough than sensual
The lust clouding my brain
Almost making me forget I don't belong to you
See I'm tryna feel love
And this shit
It ain't real love
The way you disappear after it happens
We stop talking and it feels like a distant memory
Or like something I only imagined
Was it real?
I need you to remind me that it really happened
But you're gone, living a life I'm not a part of
And that's probably my fault
You'll never be the man for me
That's why I need to stop playing myself
But yet I find myself missing you
Missing your voice
Missing your touch
I could go into a deeper description
But it makes it harder to forget you
I miss you
I really do
Do you remember me?
Are you holding onto the memories
It's really just sexual chemistry
The sexual memories
That keeps me coming back to you
The sex more rough than sensual
The lust clouding my brain
Almost making me forget I don't belong to you
See I'm tryna feel love
And this shit
It ain't real love
The way you disappear after it happens
We stop talking and it feels like a distant memory
Or like something I only imagined
Was it real?
I need you to remind me that it really happened
But you're gone, living a life I'm not a part of
And that's probably my fault
You'll never be the man for me
That's why I need to stop playing myself
But yet I find myself missing you
Missing your voice
Missing your touch
I could go into a deeper description
But it makes it harder to forget you
Friday, August 12, 2016
The Price of Living Goes Up, The Price of Books Goes Down
There's an article online called The Great E-book Pricing Question. It's supposed to give authors and future authors an idea of how to price their books online, but there is one problem with it. It skips over the part where the price of living has gone up. The price of everything has gone up, while the price of books continues to go down.
Houses have become more expensive. Rent increases every year. The price of fruit in grocery stores compete with the price of chips and other junk foods. Depending on what you like to eat, it sometimes cheaper to eat out than it is to cook. McDonalds no longer has the $1 menu and even at McDonalds you have to pay for water. There's a price on water.
Okay, if housing and food rising in price seems normal, remember the 6 pack underwear in Walmart and Target? Those went from $5 to now $9.99. Why does underwear cost more now? We need underwear. We also need pads, tampons, deodorant, razors (we all shave under our arms at least), and beauty products. However, when we look in the aisles for these things they have competitive prices that seem to get hire as the years go by.
However, when it comes to books the cost has dropped significantly. I remember 15 years ago when my parents would give me a $50 gift card to Borders bookstore (RIP) and I would have to budget. The smaller books were $9.99 at the time and hardback books started at $15. Sometimes I would go a little over budget with only four or five books and sometimes I would walk out with three books.
I'll admit that I don't read as much anymore. I used to be a book harder and take the time out to read every single book. Even during college years I took classes outside of my major that forced me to buy good literary fiction to read. Then I was introduced to real life. In this real life I work a job that feels like it takes up more of my time than it actually does. In real life I've had to deal with stress that buying a good book couldn't get rid of. In real life I've had to figure out how to budget paying bills with having social life and that hasn't left much room to splurge on good reading material. Even with all this real life living, I still buy books and the purchasing prices online have been real disappointing.
Authors have the same bills as everyone else, but if you look on Amazon and Kindle now there are books priced as low as 99 cents and some even free. In these cases if the author isn't a well known author whose name has been talked about in the streets heavily (the streets are Lifetime movies, HBO series, and other major networks), chances are that author isn't making enough to pay a bill.
Wait, this low pricing of books isn't just an attack on authors or good books. It's an attack on reading. How do we as a society let the price of everything else go up without a fight (well we fought for cheap gas prices) but we let the price of reading drop so low it essentially looks unimportant?
P.S. As an author, I judge people who look at book prices as too high.
Houses have become more expensive. Rent increases every year. The price of fruit in grocery stores compete with the price of chips and other junk foods. Depending on what you like to eat, it sometimes cheaper to eat out than it is to cook. McDonalds no longer has the $1 menu and even at McDonalds you have to pay for water. There's a price on water.
Okay, if housing and food rising in price seems normal, remember the 6 pack underwear in Walmart and Target? Those went from $5 to now $9.99. Why does underwear cost more now? We need underwear. We also need pads, tampons, deodorant, razors (we all shave under our arms at least), and beauty products. However, when we look in the aisles for these things they have competitive prices that seem to get hire as the years go by.
However, when it comes to books the cost has dropped significantly. I remember 15 years ago when my parents would give me a $50 gift card to Borders bookstore (RIP) and I would have to budget. The smaller books were $9.99 at the time and hardback books started at $15. Sometimes I would go a little over budget with only four or five books and sometimes I would walk out with three books.
I'll admit that I don't read as much anymore. I used to be a book harder and take the time out to read every single book. Even during college years I took classes outside of my major that forced me to buy good literary fiction to read. Then I was introduced to real life. In this real life I work a job that feels like it takes up more of my time than it actually does. In real life I've had to deal with stress that buying a good book couldn't get rid of. In real life I've had to figure out how to budget paying bills with having social life and that hasn't left much room to splurge on good reading material. Even with all this real life living, I still buy books and the purchasing prices online have been real disappointing.
Authors have the same bills as everyone else, but if you look on Amazon and Kindle now there are books priced as low as 99 cents and some even free. In these cases if the author isn't a well known author whose name has been talked about in the streets heavily (the streets are Lifetime movies, HBO series, and other major networks), chances are that author isn't making enough to pay a bill.
Wait, this low pricing of books isn't just an attack on authors or good books. It's an attack on reading. How do we as a society let the price of everything else go up without a fight (well we fought for cheap gas prices) but we let the price of reading drop so low it essentially looks unimportant?
P.S. As an author, I judge people who look at book prices as too high.
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
BossLady Jaye~ Pay Per View (Mixtape)
"Pay attention. School's in session. They don't call me Boss for nothing. Let me teach you a lesson."
BossLady Jaye recently dropped her mixtape Pay Per View. Listen below.
BossLady Jaye recently dropped her mixtape Pay Per View. Listen below.
The "Good Morning" Text~ Are You Waiting For Yours?
The last time I frequently received a "Good Morning" text from a man was when I was going to clubs on a regular basis.
I was bored. The only other constant activity going on with my schedule was going to work to get the bills paid. I felt old enough not to be under my parents roof anymore, so the consequence was paying for everything on my own. So every couple of weeks I would dress up and go to some club. Sometimes while out enjoying good music I would meet a man that was interested in me. Initially I would think that after asking for my number he would forget about me because most men out partying are drunk. However, it never failed. The next day I would wake up to a "Good Morning" text. After replying we would have a conversation involving getting to know each other a little more. I would continue to wake up to the texts until the particular guy moved on.
That's always what happens with men that I meet in the club. They do these texts and phone calls where they seem like they are trying to get to know me. They are genuine "good morning" and even "good night" messages sometimes. Then they soon fade away like there was never any connection.
Actually it's not just men in the clubs. Have you ever met a man at the grocery store, while out walking, or even while getting food from a restaurant? They all tend to have the same pattern in the beginning. They start off with these sweet morning messages to you. Well, some of them do. They will text you throughout the day. They'll call you just to hear your voice before you fall asleep.
However, as time goes on you barely hear from them. You check your text messages. You send them texts back. Sometimes you receive an immediate reply and sometimes it takes them days to get back to you. That is not an exaggeration. You check your call log. You call them and they may or may not answer the phone. You check social media and they've been updating a lot. But every man that does this claims he's still interested in you as time goes on. He just uses the excuse that he has a busy schedule.
I'll admit that I'm selfish and when a man is not calling or texting me regularly, the first thing I imagine is he must be entertaining some other woman. I imagine he was never serious in the first place with every sweet word that he said, so I give up on him. Well, before I totally give up on him, I start sending the texts and making the phone calls to just see how he responds and to keep up the routine. After all I'm a woman who needs continual affection, whether it's affection through touch or some quick words.
So my questions to you is are you waiting for you text saying, "Good Morning?" When dating, is it important to hear from the man you're getting to frequently? As time goes on, do you care how much the two of you are speaking?
Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm dating to get married it seems important to keep the communication going.
I was bored. The only other constant activity going on with my schedule was going to work to get the bills paid. I felt old enough not to be under my parents roof anymore, so the consequence was paying for everything on my own. So every couple of weeks I would dress up and go to some club. Sometimes while out enjoying good music I would meet a man that was interested in me. Initially I would think that after asking for my number he would forget about me because most men out partying are drunk. However, it never failed. The next day I would wake up to a "Good Morning" text. After replying we would have a conversation involving getting to know each other a little more. I would continue to wake up to the texts until the particular guy moved on.
via We Heart It |
That's always what happens with men that I meet in the club. They do these texts and phone calls where they seem like they are trying to get to know me. They are genuine "good morning" and even "good night" messages sometimes. Then they soon fade away like there was never any connection.
Actually it's not just men in the clubs. Have you ever met a man at the grocery store, while out walking, or even while getting food from a restaurant? They all tend to have the same pattern in the beginning. They start off with these sweet morning messages to you. Well, some of them do. They will text you throughout the day. They'll call you just to hear your voice before you fall asleep.
However, as time goes on you barely hear from them. You check your text messages. You send them texts back. Sometimes you receive an immediate reply and sometimes it takes them days to get back to you. That is not an exaggeration. You check your call log. You call them and they may or may not answer the phone. You check social media and they've been updating a lot. But every man that does this claims he's still interested in you as time goes on. He just uses the excuse that he has a busy schedule.
I'll admit that I'm selfish and when a man is not calling or texting me regularly, the first thing I imagine is he must be entertaining some other woman. I imagine he was never serious in the first place with every sweet word that he said, so I give up on him. Well, before I totally give up on him, I start sending the texts and making the phone calls to just see how he responds and to keep up the routine. After all I'm a woman who needs continual affection, whether it's affection through touch or some quick words.
So my questions to you is are you waiting for you text saying, "Good Morning?" When dating, is it important to hear from the man you're getting to frequently? As time goes on, do you care how much the two of you are speaking?
Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm dating to get married it seems important to keep the communication going.
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