Friday, May 31, 2013

Short Hair, Don't Care- It's Been Three Years

Well it has actually been less than three years. The short hair journey started here.

There's a saying that long hair means a woman is extremely sexy. She's so hot that sex appeal oozes from her skin. That's why it makes sense that long hair is the American way. It can be found on every successful woman who covers a magazine. However, short hair has been known to demand respect. Short hair demands that everyone stop looking at every other part of your body and pay attention to your face. For a long time long hair made me feel very sex, but also offered something for me to hide behind. August of 2010 I finally got the courage to stop hiding between my once shoulder length straight hair and reveal myself to the world.

Hi world. It's been a long road full of struggles and achievements. Plus I still have short hair.

In 2011 I decided to stop getting perms and go natural. There was no transitioning. This girl doesn't have time for that. Instead, I big chopped. I was starting to feel that trapped feeling again. I needed to do something that would remind me that I'm still moving forward. What's better than chopping your hair off? So I made an appointment and watched the perm fall to the floor. My hair was super short. It didn't leave me feeling so strong afterwards. I had to grow into loving my new look. Once I started loving it the creative part came.

Color, Color, and more Color.

A few days ago I had my hair dyed red again. Red is a power color. Before that there was an attempt that left it sandy brown. Last year it was dyed twice. For some reason my confidence in doing everything else depends on how I feel about my hair. Currently I'm feeling great about what the future holds.

"Shawty, she a model. Her hair red."-- Young Dro

I'm going for the title of role model that is, but I'm not yet kid friendly. Check out more pictures below. I love pictures. Part of this blog is all about documenting my journey, so there will be more pictures of me in the future.

I can't wait to take pictures in New York City.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Married To Medicine: When Friendships Never Existed?

Over the last couple days the Married To Medicine reunion specials, part one and two, aired.

This was the first season and probably the last. One of the women, Mariah Huq, brought all the women together to become friends. However, by the end of episode one their relationships were falling apart. The messiness initially started with Toya Bush-Harris, but by the reunion show Mariah seemed to be the one that could not stand to do another episode with any of the other women.

It started with Toya revealing a secret about Mariah's family. A couple episodes later it was revealed everyone already knew about this secret. However, the arguing continued and more ladies were dragged into the wrath. In the ending Mariah turned into America's favorite Atlanta Housewife, NeNe, and suggested there shouldn't be six of them for another season. For her to have known all these women for years and built friendships with them, that's a big statement to make.

"I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to tell the truth."- Kari Wells

Wait, that title is "friendships that never existed." I picked that title because I'm questioning how true these women are to each other. They fell apart really quickly. They haven't even recovered from the anger. Kari said she was never there to make friends, but they were supposed to be coming together as friends.

At times I've wondered if people who have said "we're friends" are really my friends. I have trust issues. I'm super passionate. If you say jump and I have the time to jump, jumping for you is what I will accomplish. However, if you hurt me I'll pretend to forget you ever existed. It won't be pretending to you, because if you're a true friend you'll realize when my phone calls stop and the Facebook and twitter messages disappear. So at times I wonder if some of the people who call m their friend really mean it. It becomes apparent after months or even years of me not even being an after thought to them.

At 26, I've figured out who my real friends are. I'm getting better at who to give my energy to. I've also learned that networking involves getting more than business contacts. It's about creating relationships where others feel comfortable enough to come back to you. I'm also trying to make sure my foundation is strong enough for others to trust me.

Wait, reality television does have lessons in it. Is your foundation strong enough to keep make and keep friends?

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Til The Next Time We Meet (Poem)

I Photographed A Cloud
No matter where we've met
Not the airport
Not crossing paths on the street
Nor sitting next to each other at work
We tried becoming friends
Hanging out on our days off
You were exposed to a different side of me
The loose, no filter Lashuntrice
But soon it all came to an end
We were sucked back into our own lives
And haven't communicated since
Or maybe it was in a classroom
The first day we were both nervous
Turned to our sides and saw each other
We exchanged names 
Kept our promises to keep in touch
Or you could've been my instructor
You guided me
Put in a lot of hard work
Gave so much knowledge
Helped start me on the road to success
And I have yet to pay you back
Even if you were that boss
Gave me my very first pay check
How long did I work for you?
It was a tough start
But one day I moved on
And I didn't keep in touch
But I still remember you
Or maybe it was like meeting my best friend
It was summer 2005 during TOPS
I decided to push my shyness to the side
Meet as many people as possible
Then we'd see each other again
Hang with some of the same people
Create a never-ending bond
There are no good-byes
Only til next time we meet

You may be wondering where this poem is coming from. Yesterday news broke that a person who had a deep influence in my life, goals, and definitely degree passed away. I don't like saying good-bye though. It's sounds so final. So I'll say Rest In Peace James Hawkins. One day we'll meet again. 

Hit The Floor Pilot Episode Premiers

FYI- A pilot show is show done in an attempt to see how ratings will go before the network picks it all the way up.

Hit The Floor is a new series on Vh1 that stars Kimberly Elise. She is playing the mom of Asha (Taylor Page), a girl whose dream is to be just like a her mom. That is she wants to be a Los Angeles Devil girl. The Devil's is a dance squad more famous than the basketball team they're representing. Asha's mom wants her to work at a bank, but she wants to dance. Against her mom's rules, Asha goes to tryouts and dances her ass off. By the end of the episode she makes the team and her mom lets the coach of the basketball team know that's he is responsible for her now because he is her father. He never knew though. Damn..

I was nervous for this show during the first couple minutes. It started off weak and Kimberly Elise seemed to be playing the same role as usual. However, it became better. I'm routing for this show. What did you think? Does it have potential to last?

I think if Fashion Queens is still on television, nothing should be judged as a bad show.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Lil Kim Wants You To Do The Cover For Her New Song, 1 Hunnit

Well it's not exactly Lil Kim's song. Young Goldie, Lil Kim's protege has a new song out called 1 Hunnit and Lil Kim is doing a feature on it. On the song they rap about rich people stuff that most of us know nothing about. However, because Lil Kim is on it, we'll listen anyway. Check out the song below.

While Beyonce has a Beyhive, Lil Kim is a Beehive called Killer Bees. She's not letting these killer bees go to waste either. She's using them for heavy promotion by doing a competition to see who can come up with the best design feature of the single. Check out one design below.

What do you think of this new song 1 Hunnit?

Floating In The Ocean In The Same Spot

Yesterday I started to go into deep thought about everything again. What all I've set my mind to do and accomplished, what all I still want to accomplish, and what is preventing me from moving forward. These are things I have to do. That feeling of being in a boat in the middle of the ocean and floating in the same spot over and over is real. I don't want to get stuck in the same spot. Moving forward is important. 

I've learned that if it's meant to be, it will haunt your dreams until the day you accomplish it. I've dreamed about moving to a new place so many times. The dreams aren't always located in Los Angeles. Sometimes they're in areas I can't recognize. 

There are dreams about climbing mountains in the middle of nowhere. The mountain dreams have everyone I love coming along with me, but in reality that will not have. The book The Dream Giver even expresses that I have to choose who to listen to when going after my dreams. 

I've had dreams of motherhood. Maybe that is just my clock ticking and telling me to make a child as soon as possible. Maybe it has a deeper meaning. Dream interpretations say that dreams of giving birth just means that you are working on birthing new ideas and goals. I've been working on my ideas forever now. My baby dreams started way back in college. 

I also have the strangest dreams that never make any kind of sense. Maybe that's because in reality I still get stuck on how to pull all my thoughts out. For example, I will be in New York City June 20, 2013. The plane ticket has been bought and the room has been purchased. Plus the event, Blogging While Brown, has been paid for. The worry comes in money. Will I have enough money to pay my bills once I get back? For some reason money keeps getting tighter. I supposedly got a raise earlier this year, but my pay check never seemed to change. 

Bills Bills Bills. Goals on top of Goals. I'm really trying to let go and let God handle everything, but I've always been under the impression that God does for those who help themselves. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Bodies~ Gangsta Boo, Ethelwulf, & La Chat + New Mixtape

While I love buying music, free music is always better. Usually free music comes from new artists trying to show off talent, but lots of artists that have been in the game have been dropping mixtapes to keep fans interested while waiting on albums. One of those people have to be Gangsta Boo.

Earlier this week Gangsta Boo dropped a new mixtape called It's Game Involved. After listening I picked out a couple of my favorite songs. The best is Bodies, which is a hardcore track featuring Ethelwulf and La Chat. "Let the bodies hit the floor. Now let me tell you how I know that I ain't who to test. I'll cut your ass up and leave you with the dead."

 I also love Talk Nasty, Bad Times, and Bad Times. The whole mixtape is repeatable though. You can download It's Game Involved here

2013 Music~ Love By Dawne Hill

Lately I've been thinking about love a lot. Okay, I never stopped thinking about it, but at certain points the feelings come on strong. Along with the feelings come a strong urge to listen to love songs. The newest one I've had the pleasure of listening to is Love by Dawne Hill. You can hear it below.
Dawne Hill is the daughter of author Donna Hill. While Donna Hill has written several great reads, Dawne is bringing a refreshing sound to the music industry. I'm hear for it.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Tyler Perry Writes To Us Dreamers

I'm a dreamer. Well, I'm more than a dream. I'm one of those people that think so hard on my goals, I almost forget they haven't been accomplished yet. I get wrapped up in ideas, plans, and then crash because of lack of money. I'm frustrated sometimes, but I can't stop dreaming.

Well, God and a couple friends are not the only ones that know my heart. Recently Tyler Perry hopped on his Facebook page and wrote a powerful message to us dreamers. Read below.


I was driving in to work this morning and I started thinking about all the days I dreaded going to work. I was so sick of it… the job, my boss, the people I worked with, the traffic… I would wake up angry every morning. I didn’t want to deal with the crap of the job, but I was forced to go. I had been homeless, I was broke, living paycheck to hopefully the next paycheck. I couldn’t take a day off for fear I would get fired. I was just frustrated. I thought I hated my life and the job.

It was so aggravating because God had placed all these dreams and hopes in my soul and mind and I had no idea how they were going to come to pass. To have a dream of being something better and living better than the way I was at that moment and to not see a way of getting there felt like death to me. I thought, “Dear God, why would you give me so much hope and not make a way?” But what I learned through prayer was, with no path in front of you and no road map… this is where true faith begins. With faith I realized that I wasn’t frustrated with my life or the job, I was frustrated because I was a person who had dreams for myself, a person who had visions for my life and I wasn’t living it. Have you ever been there, where you felt so strongly that there was more to this life than what you see in front of you?

One of the most difficult things about being a dreamer is the fear that the dream will never happen. I’m here as a living witness to tell you your dreams can come true. You can’t give up. And I am here to let you know that everything can work together for your good. The time that you are spending on that job that you think is a dead end is not. You’re being prepared just like I was. I was a shoeshine boy, I worked as a bill collector, a used car salesman, in housekeeping in a hotel, and they all were preparation for where I am now.

What do these things have to do with where I am now? I’m glad you asked. I am able to use skills that I learned. I shined shoes, so I know how to shine my shoes if I need them to look nice. Selling used cars was a great way to learn how to close a deal. Bill collecting taught me great negotiation skills. Working at that 5-star hotel taught me a lot about travel. Every experience in your life is here to teach you something.

Today, while you’re at work, don’t be frustrated. Look around you and ask God what are you there to learn and how will it be a part of your future dream. Honor that job, do the best you can at it, because God will bless you for honoring something that belongs to another.

I hope this inspires you today. If you need a little more inspiration then watch my first sit-down interview in years with Oprah on Oprah's Next Chapter. It airs this Sunday on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network at 9/8c. I talk a little about not giving up. I know it will move you.

Here’s a prayer for today: “God help me hold on, help me to get to what I dream of, help me to honor where I am today so that I can appreciate where I will be tomorrow. In Jesus' name.”"

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Contemplating The Idea Of More Sex (With Him)

"Is we fucking or what?" Even if he didn't say those exact words, it was on his mind.

"Your house or mine?" I couldn't lie. The temptation was real. The history had been created. I already knew the sex could be amazing.

"Before or after work? When are you gonna let me hit? " He was serious. Sex was on his mind. It reminded me of one of my favorite 90's songs.

Oh, but there's one problem. My heart is yearning for more. Love, affection, thoughtless cuddling, dates, taking pictures so I know it's real, him being a gentleman. Am I asking for too much? Probably so.

"I understand." What does it mean when he says that? Any man? If you understand, why did you bring it up again? He doesn't really understand and that's okay too.

By the way, those questions have been asked to me by no man in that form. If a man did talk to me the way Plies raps, I'd have no choice but to laugh it off. However, the meaning behind it all is way too familiar.

The Dream & Kelly Rowland ~ Where Have You Been?

"Where have you been? I'm all fucked up now. It's all fucked up now."

With a new album right around the corner, Kelly Rowland is not wasting any time giving us hot new music. However, the latest song release is not specifically to her. The latest is a collaboration with The Dream called Where Have You Been.

Where Have You Been will be on The Dream's latest album IV Play and it comes out next week. Check out the song below.

"You messing around with them other girls knowing damn well they ain't got nothing on me. I'm messing around with them other guys knowing damn well they ain't got nothing on you."

K. Michelle Remakes Classic Song Very Special

K. Michelle has finally released V.S.O.P. This is the official first single from her upcoming album Rebellious Soul. Like many artists, K. Michelle dug through classic songs for inspiration. V.S.O.P takes from the classic song Very Special. It's definitely a remake, but with some word changes.

Now I'm taking turns jamming K. Michelle and Debra Laws. I love classics and remakes.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Is You Fucking Or What~ Plies

"I'ma ask you straight up. Is you fucking or what?" In the midst of all the ratchet music playing on commercial radio stations, there's been a voice missing. He's twin (not really) or Kirk Franklin. That's right. Plies has been underground for a while, but he'll be back later this year with a new CD Purple Heart.

Recently Plies released a song, Fucking Or What, off the upcoming alum. This song basically explains that he will not have you over his house for the sake of getting to know each other. Clothes will be coming off or you will be going home. Listen below.

"If you ain't, then you ain't. That's cool. If you is, then let's make it happen."

Letting Go (Poem)

The new poem came in the midst of listening to TI's song Memories Back Then. I wanted to take a specific situation from my past and write about it. My thinking didn't have to go too far back. This year (surprisingly) has been adventurous in the man department. The hard part was narrowing it down to a specific guy. There's always that one that sticks out more than others. 

Now before you read and if you are him,  remember I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit. Okay,  Enjoy!

Letting Go

“I’m not gonna chase you”
That’s what you say
But it’s been years since we spoke
And this year you come out of nowhere
Making it feel like we’re friends again
Do you love me?
 I need to know
After so much time you remember me again
Bringing up college memories
Do you care some of the time?
 Because I can only have some of you
Is that all you’re willing to give?
Even though my heart desires more
Why think long term
When this moment just feels right
My heart yearns for love
Although you were just passing through
Heading to chase your dreams
Using my home for convenience along the way
In a moment of time
I think it was 1:55
We should have been sleep
But our bodies were craving heat
We’d been playing around
Spending too much time alone
Rushing up on lost memories
Filling in on missed times
And you stayed a day longer
An extra night meant to change my life
You pushed things passed the limit
No longer just friends
You changed that with a kiss
And then made sure my body felt just right
Then after some time reminded me of that night
And promised possibilities of more
But you’re not my boyfriend
No boo, no bae, no giving up the single life
It’s too soon for titles
And we’re not focused enough for faithfulness
So why am I holding on?
“I’m not gonna chase you”
Those are your words
So help me out
I need to let go

Miguel And Drake Memes Take Over Instagram

Sunday night the 2013 Billboard Awards came on. Lots of artists graced the stage, but no one gave more to talk about than Miguel when her performed Adorn.

Part of his performance was to jump in the air, but upon landing Miguel kicked an audience member in the head. It was later reported that Miguel gave a huge apology to the girl whose head had to be abused, but by then the memes were already flooding instagram. The thing about the memes is they started with Miguel, then Drake became a victim, and soon no celebrity was off limits in the jokes. Below are the memes I made sure to get pictures of, one really funny tweet that graced my twitter line, and the instagram picture that took it too far.
Drame Meme. This made me check my iPhone application. 

Maury will never get old. Last night he became of victim of a Drake meme. 

Miguel Meme, whoever did this was real creative.

K. Michelle Gets Caught Up In Miguel Meme
The K. Michelle meme is where all someone went wrong with the Miguel jokes. It's still funny though. Plus, yes my phone battery was low, but I charged it up. 

In approximately a month my trip to NYC will happen for the Blogging While Brown conference. I'm going to do my best to keep this blog as active as possible. 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Dreading Coming Back, Sunday Reflections

It's a strange feeling, that dread. The first time it hit me was October 30, 2011.

Depression puts you out of commission for a certain amount of time. But depression fades with your mindset. You can create memorable moments during a sad time. Alcohol, drugs, partying, talking with friends, and even men can be used to help you heal through that bad time. Eventually that slump goes away. 

Even a quarter life crisis is easier to get over. I went through that. What made it a crisis? I didn't know what to do with my life. Get a job? But in what field? My talent has always been limited. God blessed me with the gift to write. Although it's not always good writing, it's all I know. Some say writing works in every field. However, during that crisis nothing seemed likely.

Do some traveling? But with what money? During my quarter life crisis I was broke. There were dreams of moving to California, or maybe Atlanta, or even somewhere up North. Up North I'd have to learn to bare the cold. Nowhere seemed likely because I just didn't have enough money. No matter how hard I worked. I just didn't have enough. Oh wait..

I did have enough to take a trip. That was how the trip to Los Angeles, California came about. Who knew such a fun city could cause another problem. The dreaded feeling. But wait some more...

The quarter life crisis created a huge issue. That involved discovering myself over again. There have been times in my life where I became reacquainted with the girl inside. The first time I can remember is around 10 when I tried to create stories. It was all the imagination of Lashuntrice. 

The second time was around high school when I redeveloped an obsessed for writing all my thoughts down. Who knew a girl with barely any experiences knew about puppy love, frienemies, and pain? I discovered myself through writing. 

I thought I knew myself up until that damn quarter life crisis hit. Not only did I have parents trying to control my every move. A friend was lying to her mom about being with me when she was really with her boyfriend. Her mom thought I was messing with her focus and in turn starting hating me. Crazy lady. But I started to wonder was I messing up her focus? Could I be a distraction for her, for anybody, for everyone? Is that why this crisis was so hard? And I have a confession to make.
I took this. 

The crisis is not over yet. It started a couple days before my 25th birthday. I stepped off a plane and found myself in LA. It was a new place, new people, somewhere to create new experiences, but for only a few days. And that's what I did. At moments my problems surfaced, but for the most part I put them away. There was the tour of celebrity homes, a place that served excellent breakfast, the ocean that both mesmerized me and pushed me back a distance. It was kind of cold. There was the busy city that reminded me of where I live, but it was not where my home resided. October 30, 2011 as I boarded a plan I dreaded going back to a place I knew all too well. It was the same place I had been spending most of my life. Part of the crisis is the dread. 

It is not the familiar job I dread. Nor is it the familiar people. Sometimes they're frustrating, but for they are inviting. I know them. They know me. It is also not the familiar surroundings. The dread is leaving and always having to come back to familiarity.

How much longer will this familiarity last? Can I close my eyes and wake up in a new Bugatti? (For Lashuntrice, that's code for apartment in a new city surrounded by new people.) Can a new place choose me? (Iyanla Vanzant spoke her dreams into reality and without force she said they'd come to her.) If I just speak, or even write every dream I have, will it start to work in its own form? Patience continues to remind me that I need it. 

I like my current situation. It's comfortable. However, I still can't shake that feeling of needing something more. 

In approximately a month (June 20, 2013) I will be traveling to New York City for a bloggers conference. It will also be my summer vacation trip. Will it be memorable? Of course. It's NYC. I just hope when it's time to come back that dreaded feeling is not so bad. I just have to deal with this comfort zone for the time being. 

I'm not sure how to close this out, so I'll leave you with Gucci Mane and 2 Chainz new song Use Me

P.S. Next post I might tell you about my photography dreams. 

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Solange Knowles Exudes Confidence & Beauty In Complex Mag.

When trying to figure out exactly what confidence looks like, there's no one better to look up to than someone that already has it down pact. That person lately for me is Solange Knowles. Recently Solange did an interview with Complex Magazine where she talks about career moves, enjoying the ride, and advice that has stuck with her since she was a child.

However, while the interview is inspirational the photos are even more breathtaking. Check out some below.
It's about time to update the Star Status Women section. 

The Dream Giver, Read With Me

Let's Read The Dream Giver Together
A few days ago my best friend had the best idea ever. That's to read this book called The Dream Giver and discuss it. She's going try to to get her copy soon. I bought mines today. That's how excited I am. Well...

Actually my excitement didn't just stem from her idea of reading the book together and discussing it. It also came from reading an excerpt online. The excerpt was about 40 pages with some pages missing in between. It started from the first page where a story is told about a man named Ordinary living in a town called Familiar. Ordinary is surrounded by a bunch of Nobody's content on going nowhere in life. He's content until one day he's given a dream. Along with that dream he is given a feather. He struggles with the idea of leaving until one day talking to his father. His father confesses that he once had a dream, but waited to long and that feather turned into dust. His father says go for it, but there are obstacles he has to overcome; the idea of leaving bills behind, the naysayers, breaking his comfort zone, traveling into the land of Unknown, and becoming Somebody.

The few pages spoke loud and clear to me. Does what I'm saying speak to you? If so, buy the book and read with me. More than two people should be discussing this. This is important. I'm guessing with the constant scare of economic issues since President Obama got into office, the threats Sallie Mae continue to make every month, and normal bills combined people just aren't chasing their heart's desires anymore.

So let's discuss. I'm going to start reading right now. Buy your book as soon as you can. Oh, and let me know what type of dream you have. When we talk about our dreams, we're more inspired to go after them.

Kelly Rowland Dirty Laundry

Kelly Rowland's new single Dirty Laundry is exactly why I'll be buying her upcoming album Talk A Good Game.

Wait, but why does this sound similar to K. Michelle's How To Love? Although Kelly Rowland has to work on the story telling skills, I see what's going on. Someone's taking notes.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Sometimes I Just Want To...

Sometimes when I get off work I just want to fuck him.

I want to drive home to that sleeping man feeling horny as Hell and wake him the fuck up, but how I'm not sure.

Maybe I'll ring the doorbell and pretend to be a stranger in the middle of the night. That's how they do in white porn. Since it's usually the man visiting we'll switch roles.

Maybe I'll get in the house, be very quiet, and cuddle up against him in the bed. My skin against his skin should cause him to react in a passionate way.

But what if he doesn't wake up? Then I'll have to play rough. I'll do what I can to wake him up.
Shaking him until he opens his eyes
Begging until he says yes to the sex
Pulling off the covers and giving him head

Are my skills that good? Sometimes when I get off work I just want to fuck him. It's been along day. Love will take too much energy to conjure up, but fun sex will work. Then we can cuddle until we close our eyes tougher.

Am I asking for too much? Probably so since I don't have a man.

No one plays Mad Cobra's song Flex anymore. That's a classic.

Monday, May 13, 2013

2013 Music, I'm Loui Boy Said by Loui Boy Said

Since the age of 12 Loui Boy Said has wanted to become a rapper. Now at 17 years old he's making his debut into the music industry. Recently I was able to interview him. The article will come soon. For now check out his song I'm Loui Boy Said.

Why Kim Kardashian's Pregnancy Is The Best

For Mother's Day Kim Kardashian posted a special message about her mom, sister, and her feelings toward become a mother.

"As I’m counting the days until I finally get to be a mother, I’m a bit nervous and anxious but also excited knowing that I learned from the very best."

Many years ago while the Kardashian clan was trying to shop a reality show idea around to television stations, Kim Kardashian managed to make a sex tape with Ray J. that the public was exposed to. This sex tape sped up her rise to fame. Ever since then, Kim K. has had the spotlight on her. All she's had to do was be herself.

Who is Kim Kardashian? Today we know her as a beauty image. She's the celebrity that wears all the top name brand clothes. She is a reality star, which means we care about every single move she makes. Even if that move is to get married and divorced within a couple of months, we want to know every single detail. She is a woman who loves fast and hurts. In these ways, we can relate to Kim K. She is currently the most popular pregnant woman since Beyonce had Blue Ivy.

As much hate as Kim K. receive, you're probably laughing, but it's true. Her pregnancy is very popular. We were shocked when she first said she was dating Kanye West. Then a nickname was created, Kimye. See we liked Kim so much that we put her name in front of the couple combination nickname. Then we learned she was pregnant with his child and she didn't want a lot of media attention (although that's where her money comes from). We became even nosier.

Ever since Kim's pregnancy announcement we've been watching her belly grow and paying even more attention to her style of clothing. For instance we noticed when Kim K. slid into a $3000 Lanvin dress at 5 months pregnant. Clearly it was too small for her body. Zoe Saldana later put the dress on to show exactly how it is supposed to fit, but Kim K. in it was more entertaining.

We also noticed how Kim K. showed up at a charity event, the Met Gala, and took all the attention away from the actual event. All people would talk about was her dress. What did everyone else wear? None of that mattered. She killed a 70's couch, walked into an event, and made everyone stare.

What other pregnant woman could do this?

The Kandi Factory Shut It Down Music Video

Recently Kandi Buruss (of Real Housewives of Atlanta) started her own spinoff show The Kandi Factory. This factory features unknown people who want to have a singing career. Some of the people have singing talent and others are just dreamers. Either way they all have a chance at starting their singing career.
Nesi, Kandi Factory Winner

It all starts with a song that Kandi writes specifically for that person. For instance on last night's episode there was a woman with an identity crisis and a man in love. The woman, better known as Nesi, had a song about partying call Shut It Down. The man had a song about being in love. He couldn't actually sing, but his whole concept of being in love made him shine still. Nesi won of course.

Due to the low level of talent, this show is no American Idol. However, making these people dreams come true is amazing. Kandi gets major love for that. Shut It Down is my favorite song from this whole season. It's above.

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Sunday Reflections: Opening Up More And Tossing Out The Myths

"No one cares. Keep your dreams to yourself. If you don't tell anyone, they can't shoot your goals down. Don't cry in front of me. Don't show any emotions. Bottle all the shit up. People will steal your work if you expose it. Everyone is too busy. No one wants to pay attention to you. Sheds your tears in a corner by yourself. Don't talk to me." 

The quotation marks are relative. Everyone has heard some form of negativity. Everyone has been ignored at some point in time. This is especially true if you are a black person. No one ignores the important talents or moments more than black people. No one ignores these things more than the people  who say they care about you. If you grew up like me, you already know. 

They will provide you with food and shelter, but when you're good at something they ignore it. They pretend your skills are not a priority, especially if those skills aren't making quick money. 

They pretend important moments in your life don't matter that much. 

Like the first time someone bullies you. They get mad if you hit back, but also get mad if you shed a tear. They tell your to keep everything bottled up. 

Like if you have a very good writing talent, or you're falling in love with the thought of being a writer. They feed you with a whole bunch of stuff to make you afraid to express yourself. Or was that just me? Unlike my younger siblings I was told not to express myself on the internet, or any other form. When they started noticing I loved to write, they told me not to reveal it because someone might steal my work. They didn't even take the time to see if it was good work. 

I'm trying to get rid of the myths. For so many years I thought hiding my talent was better than showing it to others. Initially I thought it might get stolen. After reading so many talented writers' work, I started to think no one would want to acknowledge my skills. Am I even good enough? The first time I ever cried because of someone's opinion, I didn't receive encouragement or love. Anger was thrown back at me. I thought the right way to go was to keep everything bottled up. 

I'm learning to release. Release my skills to the world. How will anyone know that I have skills if they stay hidden? Reveal my pain. The only way to move on from the pain, is to talk about it. Get rid of the myths. Someone, or a group of people, out in the world care. Someone will agree. Someone will disagree and offer real criticism. Someone...

I should be writing about Mother's Day. Everyone else is giving praise to mothers. However, sometimes the focus can't be on what is popular. 

Friday, May 10, 2013

The Rooms To Go Experience

"I lose my myself in my mind way too often." Someone recently tweeted this, but it is true for me too. When I lose myself in my mind, it tends to overwhelm me. Why do I get overwhelmed?

I haven't accomplished enough.
I'd like to travel a little more.
There is no time for me to explore.
Will I ever have time to just get up and act upon my wishes?
I still receive more criticism than encouragement.
I get exhausted more times than I get happy.
I don't have many friends.
I don't have anyone to currently hang out with.
Sometimes when ideas hit me I can't act upon them.
I realize that I actually like being alone sometimes.
I have to tell everyone my experiences.
No one wants to be included in my experiences.
Maybe it is all just loneliness talking.

See, I get overwhelmed. When I get overwhelmed I have to do something to get rid of the feeling. Wednesday I had the day off and that overwhelming feeling came on strong. There were things I need but had been putting off.
I bought this.

Like a small night stand to match my bedroom furniture
And a computer desk

Basically I've been needing more storage. Plus I want to decorate a little more. I have paintings that might forever lean against the wall. Plus my walls are so bare the beige color hurts me sometimes. So I was overwhelmed and acted upon this shopping impulse. The place to go was Rooms To Go.
And this.

I bought a computer desk with matching chair, night stand, an extra stand that matched some decoration I already had in my living room, an ottoman for storing unused blankets (although I practically sleep with all the blankets on my bed), and a room separator which is currently leaning against the wall upstairs as decoration. I bought a few too many things.

How does a girl with very little money go overboard? Somebody save me from me please. Or if you think this was a good idea, show me some encouragement.

By encouragement I mean, say "Keep doing you."

Oh, and this all comes after I've had some trouble in my home. There were water leakage problems in several places. Let's pray that's its all fix. Now time to make this place more of a home. I'll be here for a while.