Friday, February 28, 2014

#MaryMary The Former Manager Mitchell Had To Go

A new season of Mary Mary has started. Who knew they would come back to reality television after that very public on-camera break up. Thanks to "We TV" we were able to start seeing Tina and Erica managing their highest point of their career and family life.

Just think about all the work we've seen Tina and Erica doing on camera. They've held up their family lives, romantic lives, and managed their manager all while working. Then while the "We TV" cameras were still rolling they put the group on hold. Tensions were at an all time high and everyone needed a break from each other. I guess they rested up long enough since the cameras have recorded more, but there's brand new issues. The first is Mitchell, the manager.
Mitch had to go. It's something we all saw coming. This group had so much going on and that dragged him deep into their personal lives. Mitch knew all the kids, had to make room for their family vacations in between business planning, and had to do it all with a smile on his face. WAIT!

When was the last time we saw Mitch smiling on an episode of Mary Mary? He was so wrapped up in Tina and Erica's personal lives that he wasn't managing the business well. Actually, after watching the video above we learn that Mary Mary was the first singing group he managed. You can't hate Mitch for how things went down, but after 2 and a half years with the group he had to go.

Should We Be Mad At Sallie Mae?

not my picture
Exactly six months after college graduation, Sallie Mae starts telling graduates to pay up. Just in case you haven't heard the name before, Sallie Mae is the largest student loan corporation out there. The minute you get to college, that is the financial aid offer people will waive in your face. Some people are lucky enough to have scholarships that take care of all costs, but others will go the route of getting that loan. Even if you choose to work while in school, you still see Sallie Mae as a way of helping you out. Of course, we all have to remember this money is meant to be paid back at some point.  However, at 18 years old your main thought process is making it through the year. Fast forward to six months after graduation.

You've made it through college and you may or may not have made it through the job search. No matter what situation you're in Sallie Mae is sending those notices. It is time to pay up. But what if you can't? I'll admit it's been four years since graduation and I still don't make enough to pay Sallie Mae back. Maybe if I still lived in my parents house and had no other bills, the money would be there. However, at 27 years old my parents don't want me there and I don't want to be living with them still. This fact doesn't stop the corporation from wanting it's money though. Should I be mad at Sallie Mae that I took out those loans to get through college, but can't pay them back now? 

I'll be as honest as possible with this answer. At 18 my dad walked me throughout the whole process of taking money to get through college. Money management is a part of his career, so it was only right to look up to him. On the other hand, when it was time to pay up and I didn't have the money, I felt attacked because I couldn't handle the responsibility. However, the loans weren't deferred. Sallie Mae started getting their money back, but it wasn't coming from my bank account. Part of me to this day is mad at Sallie Mae, but then another part of me is mad at the bigger picture. 

The thing about this corporation is there are financial risks like everything else. The longer we put off paying the higher the interest rates. The higher the interest rates, the longer it'll take the pay the loans off. Actually, even if they are getting paid, minimum payments still come with raised interest rates. There is no avoiding this when you just can't help it. Then there are the other problems. This is the biggest option tossed at an 18 year old and then years later jobs start you off with the minimum amount of money they feel like you are worth. You may get the job because of your college degree, but the job doesn't care about any of your bills; especially if that bill is for Sallie Mae. 

It is time we really think about the options for the future generations. I'm pretty sure my parents, aunts, uncles, etc. knew what would happen with the student loans. Sallie Mae currently owns $162.5 billion of student loan debt. Jobs do not pay us according to the cost of living. They pay us according to how much they think we deserve in that moment's time. We are living in a society where we are always taught that higher education is the answer. We are also teaching the younger generation that higher education is the answer. 

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Some Albums You Should Have On Repeat

Tatyana Ali Hello
Ashley Banks is all grown up. Remember back in the day when Tatyana Ali decided to start a singing career? She used several platforms, including The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire, to sing her songs. While I bought the album back in the day, it's back over a decade since I've wanted to hear a song by Tatyana. However, after listening to Wait For It on The Arsenio Hall show, I was ready to support her again. Tatyana's latest body of work is an EP called Hello, which consists of five songs.Her singing side is saying Hello to us all again and I think you should support her. This is a self promoted album and has nothing to do with any record labels. Listen to Wait for It below and go to iTunes.

Also, this is A clip from the 90's of Tatyana Ali's character Ashley Banks performing on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Solange True
Although most of us bow down to anything the Queen Bey releases, Solange has found her way into my heart within the last few years. About two years ago she had a popular track, Losing You, which played frequently on R&B/Soul radio stations. I also saw the video on late nights. Losing You is just one those songs that reminds you that love does go away, but at the same time it makes you want to dance. Then I forgot all about it until the season finale of Being Mary Jane. There was a scene where you could hear the Losing You instrumentals in the background. That made me youtube the song and from there I discovered she has an EP, True, which consists of 7 songs. My favorite is "Some Things Never Seem To Fucking Work." I even wrote my own poem after listening to that one. So listen to the songs and allow them to put you in some kind of mood. 

Levina Lye Pieces of Me
Okay, Levina Lye's EP Pieces of Me hasn't been released yet, but this is to keep your memories fresh. Click here for the interview I did with the 22 year old artist and stay tuned for her song Fall, which will be released soon. 

Toni Braxton/Kenny Babyface Edmonds Love, Marriage, and Divorce

Who would think an album about love, marriage, and divorce could be so wonderful! For a while Toni Braxton had us thinking she was really quitting music, but thank God Babyface talked her into getting back into that studio. Initially I thought I'd Rather Be Broke was my favorite song, but nope. Then I fell in love with Heart Attack until I played The D Word a million times. There is no favorite on Love, Marriage, and Divorce because they're all extremely good and well written. 

K. Michelle Still No Fucks Given
"Rub your titties if you got nice weave." Listen, don't mess with K. Michelle. She brings the talent and artistically disses you in a way no other artists can. 

Monday, February 24, 2014

#WildflowersUnscripted The Last Time I Cried

The last time I cried, I would cry for days at a time. No amount of tears made me feel better, so I just found comfort in continuing to cry. When I wasn't crying I was stressed out or being bossed around. I needed to get away from the environment to start to feel better. 

I still have days where I dream of being somewhere else, but I'm far from those days of constant tears. I can focus on my goals more. I find it easier to follow through with ideas. I think it has something to do with living alone too. I feel more creative when no one else is in my space trying to  force ideas into my head that I never wanted in the first place. 

I haven't cried in a while though and feel no need to at this moment. That has to be a good sign. 

The Meaning of Black Love by Devin Starling

What does black love mean to you? Currently I'm curious about everyone's perspective of how love should be and what people are actually seeing in their communities. I already have a survey of answers I've received. It doesn't necessarily have to be love between two black people, but since I'm black that's the main focus. A Facebook friend, Devin Starling, decided to write what he thinks in a poem.

Black love is brilliant…intelligent & intellectual….two souls entwined to form one….super woman and he-man... love so strong it can be felt from a physical appearance...the farther apart the stronger it will's black love you can't break the forward to 2014 all I momma drama....father's planting seeds without nurturing the roots. self discipline. is all that counts..people selling they're soul for a small dollar unity in the community. ...the village is gone...babies raising babies. ..the old wisdom is gone

Do you agree with his perception? What do you think black love is?

Survey: What Does Black Love Mean To You?

Black history month is a time to celebrate our history. It's a remembrance of the people who worked as slaves so we could be free, worked for very little so we could get paid, took care of their families so we could follow the tradition, and show pride so that today we could have pride for ourselves and each other. However, I've noticed many people are struggling this year with showing their pride for who they are.

There are discussions going on about how blacks aren't working hard enough. There is the discussion that all you hear in Hip Hop are insults toward black women. Some black men are currently Hell bent on reminding black women that they also have the options of dating outside the race. There's just one problem with this. If all we're talking about are the issues, where is the love? Do we as a black community really know how to love each other and create families or what black love even means? I've asked several people what black love means to them and below are some answers I received.
  • Black love in the sense of two educated and hard working people. A man and a woman and the two looking nice together. Nothing against the gay black couples but, there is just something special about a black man and woman. And just the two treating each other well with kindness and friendship and. A lot of passion.
  • My idea of black love. Have to get back with you on that one. I have seen people who have been together for a few years to 63 years. Thats a good question.
  •  Black love is two people being together because they LOVE to, which means they both have positive emotion whether they are in the "relationship" or not.
  • I mean to me its good love but it has a lot of up in downs ,but us as black people can over come that with godly love.
  • I've been thinking about it since you asked and I have no idea how to answer that question.
  • My perception is black love is a bit tainted, if I can be honest. I haven't had good experiences. But I would like to think that black love is strength, perseverance, and tenacious. Black love can withstand the test of time even when flawed. It's beautiful and as crisp as winter air. It's as wide as the Pacific Ocean and it runs as deep as a valley
  • Only thing both can familiarize themselves with is their exterior….. they have black skin….. but don't know much about who they are, their heritage.. and love, how can folks recognize love when they have never felt the purest part of it.
What is your perception of black love? Is this something you struggle with? The next post is a poem by Devin Starling explaining what he thinks black love should be and what he is really seeing where he lives.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

'You Are Beautiful' #WildflowersUnscripted

‘You Are Beautiful’ is what I constantly remind myself. No matter how in a rush I am or how bad I feel, I take the time out of each day to say this. There are many reasons why this is important.

In the midst of black history month, I’ve seen a dozen conversations about how black men are choosing white women over black women. In one Facebook group a black man brought it up because of all the interracial relationship groups being created online. While reading the thread at least one of the men went as far as to insult Michele Obama, the wife of the president of the United States. The crazy thing is after questioning them, the creator of the thread said he’s only dated black women, so he doesn’t even know if a white woman would be better for him.

During another moment where I just felt the need to publicly brag about the beautiful and successful Lupita Nyong’o, a man felt the need to go out of his way and write under my photo how ugly he thinks she is.

The thing about Lupita is she reminds me a lot of myself. She’s dark skin, skinny, and her hair is in a short Afro. Her hair isn’t flowing with curls and her body isn’t busting all over the place with curves. Most important of all, she’s extremely smart. Her presence speaks volumes no matter where she is. When looking at her you can tell she is naturally happy and she’s glowing.

However, there are men and women online waiting to rip any woman apart just for operating in the same space as them. If you’re on Facebook, people see a target. If you’re on twitter or even Instagram, people see a reason to insult you.

Not long ago, I saw a guy on twitter take a woman’s Instagram photo where she was posing with no makeup on and he thought it was funny. Nothing about her photo was ugly. She was a pretty black woman who felt like showcasing her beauty real quick with no makeup on. I asked what was wrong with her, but received no response. I think it’s because deep inside he already knew there was nothing wrong or funny about her picture. The real issue was himself.

The bigger problem I’ve always had is, I was raised to be an overachiever. I was raised to either be smart enough to fit in or work hard enough to where there would be a demand needed for my skills. However, corporate America usually sees you as replaceable no matter how smart you are and if your self esteem is not strong enough, people see you as destroyable. They will destroy every single physical quality of you just because they see a weakness in you.

So, 'You Are Beautiful.' I’m reminding myself of this right now before I read any more comments online and will remind myself as soon as I wake up. If we motivate ourselves, we leave room to only absorb positive energy. I've had to continually work on telling myself that I am smart enough despite what others might say and I have to continually apply that I'm beautiful as well. 

Friday, February 21, 2014

The End Result Is All That Matters #DomesticAbuse

  - Watch More
In the video you can see football player Ray Rice dragging his unconscious fiancee's, Janee Palmer, body out of an elevator. He's not even carrying her. He drags her body as far out of the elevator as he can. Her legs are still kind of inside the elevator, but he moves them away from the doors as what looks like a security guard approaches them. At this particular time, she is still laying face down on the ground. The officer says something and he taps her to wake her up. Then he steps away to the side and it looks like he's glancing at his phone. She awakens and starts rubbing the side of her face as the officer is paying attention to her.

I was shocked when I saw this video. It was footage from a Las Vegas hotel. The couple had gotten into an argument that night. Since the police didn't know the full result and by law they have to charge both people in a domestic dispute, both were charged and sent on their way. However, after watching the video the charges don't even matter.

The end result of this situation happened to be caught on camera. This football player hit the mother of his child so hard that she lost consciousness. What usually happens in these cases is the couple either gathers their things and goes separate ways or someone at some point ends up on trail for murdering the other person. It could be him since we all know he's brave enough to silence a woman to the point of silence. Or it could be her, because she'll be tired of the fists coming her way one day and use more than her own hands to fight him.

It's horrible to see the violence going on in people's relationships. However, its even worse when these cases make it to the courthouse or end up behind prison cells. Why? Because we don't care about the history of the people involved. We don't care what battles they had to fight beforehand or what a Bitch the woman was to him. All we see is what's in the video or what it can lead to if it continues.

I posted this in a group and someone I respect commented saying research her background. That was the moment I had to disagree. This is just my opinion. Maybe you think all the abusive things she's yelled at him, her hitting him first, her possibly being with him for money, etc. matter. It just doesn't matter to me.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

I Can't Believe You by La'Janee Cosby

The following is a poetic story by La'Janee Cosby called, "I Can't Believe You."
I hear you tell me that you care about me and you like me, and you’ve even done some things to prove that you do. But for some reason I can’t grasp the concept that you actually care for me. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to or if it’s that I can’t. Or maybe it’s because you’re telling me that you’re not ready to commit and we should just take it slow but our actions are riding the fence.
More times than not, we’re like a couple. You’re the first and last person I talk to on a daily basis, we make love to each other, and we’ve both spent some bread on one another but yet I still don’t believe you care for me.
I don’t know why I can’t. I try to repeat it to myself over and over…I try to tell myself just relax and enjoy the ride. But how can I enjoy a ride that could possibly end up at the corner of depressed and broken-hearted? You don’t run game and you’re so honest until it’s sweet but yet I have a problem accepting that you care about me.
No matter what you say or what you’ll do, I’ll probably never really believe you. I want to but I can’t. I just can’t believe that you care for me.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

#wildflowersunscripted A Secret Revealed

not my photo
Strangers will defend you faster than friends. Black men appreciate white women more than they appreciate the black women that are fighting for them. The tears aren't there because it doesn't bother you as much anymore.

In the middle of the night as I hopped out of my car all I could think was getting in the house and refreshing my mind. The last 9 hours had worked my brain to a level of stress that only corporate America knows how to bring on. So I threw my stuff in their respective places, got comfortable, and opened the laptop for the good reading. After a few blogs I came to one about the appreciation of the black woman. At the top of the post was a picture of actress Lupita Nyong'o. The blogger's point was that she's struggled to find beauty in herself because of other people's remarks, but it's amazing when you see a black woman walk out into public loving every bit of the skin she's in. Then my phone started going off.

Actually it wasn't ringing or text message. It was my twitter mentions. Random black people (it's important to point this out) were in my mentions saying the most demeaning things they could think of about photos of me. Why? I had asked a question days ago to some guy that thought a famous black man had a "bad" white woman on his arm. If he would have gave his reasoning, it could have all been cool. I was met with silence that day, so I forgot all about it. I'm going to write about the white woman/black man thing later. Anyway, that guy was feeling some kind of hatred and his friends was sipping from the same hate kook-aid that night. They were going hard.

The thing is their comments were bothering me. What was bothering me was the fact that I didn't know where their anger stemmed from or how they found me up until the umpteenth tweet. Why'd it take me so long to react? When I finally did reply to the initial instigator I gave him only kind words. Well, I mentioned something about being nice and that he should go study on this history since it's black history month. He insulted a national holiday built to honor people who fought for us and told his stupid followers to attack me some more. That was when I learned the beauty of the block button.

I also learned about that there are good people online in the middle of the night that will react. Some woman said she realized I meant no harm by the question and she reported them all as spam when she saw what they were doing. Another woman, probably someone who likes to argue, started arguing with them too. I had blocked the trouble makers, but I could see her comments. She wasn't back down from a fight.

But there's a reason why this moment was so important.

A long time ago when I was feeling very alone I decided if I could ever make friends for life, then I'd fight for them. I'd fight for them, argue for them, cuss out men I didn't know for them, and just be a good friend in general for them. However, I had an incident last year that showed just how much someone I call a friend would go for me.

The incident involved some dude that I had cut off months prior. Apparently sex makes a man call the cops, or possibly fake cops, on you after he's tried to set you up for something you didn't do. It was odd, but I called the first person I could think to call after. I saws a little shook up, but when I told her the story she laughed. She thought is was funny. That laughter hurt me to the core and even after I tried to explain why there was nothing funny about it, she didn't want to understand. What kind of friend reacts this way? See, this person is actually a good person at heart, so I've tried to redefine the meaning of friendship since then. Another person I spoke with at the time also had the same reaction. This one was a male friend and I think he wasn't listening. It didn't hurt when he did it. It pissed me the Hell off and my reaction was more than explaining why the shit wasn't funny.

It doesn't hurt so much anymore to see a friend not stand up for me in that way, but it does feel good to see strangers defend me against some assholes with nothing better to do than drag other people in the gutter with them.

So the part of black men like white women better than black women was said by a man in a group on Facebook. There's more to this, but it will be placed in another post. Stay tuned…

BTW, someone told me I should write about the crazy "police" phone call about the weird dude. What happened with him didn't bother me as much as the reaction from the initial two close friends I told.

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

#WildflowersUnscripted My Body Is A Temple

I started to write "Near Death" experience a couple hours late. It was yesterday's topic but I planned to write and publish two "wild flowers" posts in one day. The near death experience topic was going to be about mentally losing myself in others expectations and opinions and having to find myself again. In it I was going to discuss lack of self confidence because of other people lacking confidence in me, not seeing beauty in me when I badly wanted them to, etc. But then something happened that made me delete it all and pay attention…

Some random twitter thugs (they're twitter thugs because they're probably not spitting the hate when they leave for work or job searches) had jumped into my mentions. I didn't even know what was that cause of the hate, even though there doesn't always have to be a reason behind it. I soon realized it was because of a picture tweeted on my timeline where guy called some woman bad and because I had just finished reading a discussion where black men gave praises to white women (I'll explain in another post) while dissing black women, I was curious as to why the white woman was considered "bad" to him. I didn't think she was ugly, but his reply would have helped me gather my thoughts for this future post. He didn't reply back then, but his gang of friends decided to reply by attacking my looks tonight. I blocked them all and learned why people feel so free using the block button on social media.

Now you see why I was distracted from what was supposed to be yesterday's post, but it has inspired today's topic "My Body."

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?"

My body is a temple. I didn't quite understand it growing up, although I heard it a countless amount of Sundays, but my body is a temple and I shall protect it. It needs protecting from the criticism of strange people who hate my hair for not falling down my shoulders, hate my face because it doesn't remind them of Tyra Banks. I'm no model. It needs protecting from strange people who don't think I'm pretty enough or too dark skinned. It needs protection from the people who stare disapprovingly in the real world and the people who hide behind computer screens just to say mean things. My body is a temple and it needs protecting from the men that feed me with their words in attempts to get sex and run off to the next girl. My body is a temple and it needs protecting from me during those days where I think I'm not good enough. What do I change? What do I fix? My body is a temple and I'll love it just the way it is.

Nothing Wrong With Living In The Moment

Living in the moment does not have to mean pulling yourself back up financially later. Enjoying your life at this time does not have to equal regrets later on in life. Doing what you want right now does not have to equal lack of responsibility later. Spending a little more than you need to now does not have to equal an empty savings account later. It's all about the stage in life that you are at.

At least that is my philosophy. Hours after a new episode of "Blood, Sweat, and Heels" I found myself in a conversation with someone about Melyssa Ford's life. Of all the women on the show, she is quite possibly the woman we can talk about for hours on end. Her face and name is the one everyone can remember from a decade ago. She is the one on the show that a decade later ventured of a totally new lifestyle that involved downgrading from how she used to live. Her mindset went from having fun when she was younger to living responsibly now that she is much older.

So the conversation about Melyssa started with the money part. The other girl made a comment saying, "I hope Melyssa is putting that money away these days."

My response was, "She probably is. She was younger before. I think even if it got her to this point, she lived her life, and had lavish things when she wanted it, and saw places that she can remember until she dies."

Why are we so concerned when a person hits a hard point in life? Actually on the show Melyssa still has a stylist and a financial account, which most of us don't have. This means she wasn't doing as bad as our minds went to. In fact, on WWHL (Watch What Happens Live) Melyssa said her card was sometimes declined because her financial advisor cut her off. He was controlling her spending to keep her from going broke. He was teaching her how to live according to her new lifestyle at her current stage in life. Nothing about what we're seeing on reality television currently is wrong. It's a transition.

It's hard for many of us to see this because we are teaching each other fear. Due to people like George Zimmerman and Michael Dunn, we're teaching little boys not to play their music loud or walk to the store. Due to a lifetime of financial responsibility we're always telling each other to put off our vacations for later, save the shopping sprees for later, make enough money to pay the bills, etc.

At the same time we watch others live these amazing lifestyles. We watch them go on their fantasy vacations while they have the money to do so, fail and succeed at business ventures they put their minds to, and create life long memories that put smiles on their faces every time they think back to the moments.

We have to stop projecting all this fear upon each other while watching everyone do exactly what they want. Melyssa Ford doesn't regret her younger years, because it gave her some of the best times of her life. So financial irresponsibility should not be what comes to our mind when a person is figuring out how to start all over again in a new career field while controlling her spending. Supportiveness is what should pop up. Following through with our own goals should be what happens. Living In The Moment while the moment is still available should be what we are doing.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

I Am A Wildflower Because… #WildflowersUnscripted


Google Definition- A flower of an uncultivated variety or a flower growing freely without human intervention

Urban Dictionary- A free spirit. Uncultivated by mainstream. Independent thinker. Bravely growing wild and free in a world plagued by conformity

I am a wildflower because every day I dream about being free. I study the celebrities with all the financial wealth in the world, the people with naturally happy glows, and figure out how to apply their lessons to my life.

I am a wildflower because I act without thoroughly planning. Most of the time, the best experiences come from living in the moment. So if I'm hungry, I'll sit at a restaurant all by myself and enjoy the scenery while eating. If a concert I really want to go to pops up, I'll immediately buy that ticket before thinking about who else might want to go. If I wake up in the mood for fresh air, I'll go walking whenever and wherever my feet will take me. I've had cravings for chocolate and fresh air at 2 am and then walked to the nearest gas station not caring about possible dangers.

I am a wildflower because I want to be free. Some people like the feeling of conformity. They like for others to make the rules, so all they can do is follow through. I'd rather makes the rules and the game up as I go.

Friday, February 14, 2014

You Like It (Omarion Is Giving Us A Sex Playlist)

You missed Omarion. Yeah, I can tell, but the wait is over. In this beautiful year of 2014 he's coming back with a new album called Sex Playlist. The first single is respectively called "You Like It." 

"You Like It" is currently following the theme of side line chicks/men. Omarion is sweetly singing about a woman liking him, but being in a relationship with some man. It's cool though, because they both like the situation. Listen below. 

Also watch the Sex Playlist trailer below. 

#WildflowersUnscripted Valentines Day

It's officially the national day of love.

Well, technically every day is a new day to love yourself, but we officially celebrate it every February 14th. I'm not going to lie. This week has been a weird week. Outside of tired out to the max from work, I've had the pleasure of catching the opinions of several men on the holiday. Some of the younger taken men have bragged about how every day they take the time to love their women. Some other men (the single ones) have taken the time out talk about being the man-whores that they are. There have also been a few married men that decided to join the Valentines-hate bus and speak their minds.

Initially I was thinking "For Real?" but then I hopped onto Victoria's Secret on my day off and purchased a few nice things. It felt good to treat myself to something I love. I'm also planning to party the part of the weekend that I'm not working away like a fabulous single woman should be doing.

It often gets exhausting hearing all the devastating relationship stories, the tales of single women not being able to lock a man down, and the ones that decide to go one deep forever like its cool. Plus I've never had good luck with holidays like this, but for some reason today I don't care. I just want to live in the moment.

I'm beautiful and even if no man wants to acknowledge it right now, I'll dance in my beauty.

P.S. I started to post a picture of myself in the moment, but it's too hot for the blog.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Saigon and Erica Jean Might Get Help From Iyanla Vanzant

Of all the couples on the Love and Hip Hop series, Rapper Saigon and his baby mama Erica Jean have been my least favorite. I want to say it's because of all the wrong words their son has learned from watching them argue, but it's deeper than that.

The main reason is because their relationship started off totally wrong and all we've seen is emotional abuse between the two. They had a one night stand and she ended up pregnant. As seen on television, Saigon wasn't even there throughout the whole pregnancy and didn't see his son for the first time until the boy was 8 months old. This is a reality that we had to digest and separate from the television series.

Then after getting acquainted with his son, through the cameras we saw Saigon and Erica J. attempt to have a very destructive relationship. One minute Saigon was contemplating whether he was the father and the next the two were making out. Then they were arguing again. The argument seemed so bad that there were several episodes that the two were not even on camera.

Then when we did see them again they were in counseling. They went from counseling to contemplating moving in together. I knew this was going to be a disaster when Saigon was asking Erica about a possible three-some. How do you move in with the mother of your child with other women on your mind?

Finally the reunion show happened and Saigon admitted he doesn't like any of his baby mamas. I'm guessing this means while he loves sex, he has no real respect for women. It's hard to reason with a man like that, even though Erica desperately wanted to and seems like she still does.

Sister 2 Sister Magazine put out a tweet recently saying Saigon and Erica will be getting help from Iyanla Vanzant. OWN isn't part of Viacom, so this could really be serious. Can Iyanla add order to their dysfunctional relationship? Does she want to? I checked her twitter and there was nothing. However, S2S has the tweets where Saigon talks about going on Fix My Life to deal with his issues. We'll see how that goes in the spring.

T-Pain's Version of Royals

"Seems like yesterday we were drinking crown royal." T-Pain has remixed "Royals" and it's actually worth listening to. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

#WildflowersUnscripted A Very Terrifying Health Scare

It appeared out of nowhere; a bump. However, the bump wasn't just anywhere on my body. It was on my booty. It didn't belong there though, so why was it there? I was so frightened. I was pretty sure no ants had crawled that far up my body and no mosquitos had been flying around lately.What was going on with my body? I couldn't take any risks. Since I was a college student and the on-campus clinic was free, I went to it as soon as I could. Upon looking at it, the doctor laughed. She said it was just a regular bump and even took the pleasure of bursting it for me.

Okay, today's topic for "Wildflowers Unscripted" is a health scare. I've never had a real health scare, but I panic when it comes to my body constantly. My first ever panic appointment involved the doctor checking my breasts for lumps. I thought I felt something. Then there was the time pains started appearing in my chest every time my period started. Those pains still happen every now and then, but the doctor says its normal. I also went because I every once in a while I'm in so much pain it's hard to walk. Upon going to the doctor, she didn't solve the pain problem but she did diagnose me with anemia.

So basically I haven't had anything seriously scary come up with my health, but I panic a lot when something seems wrong. The ironic part is I hate taking medication.

#BloodSweatHeels "Detox, Girl, Detox"

It’s supposed to be a getaway in the Hamptons. We all know what happens on getaways. All business is supposed to be left at home, but that is not the case with some of the “Blood, Sweat, and Heels” cast. When spending time at her family’s home, Brie expected all the women to quietly chat and enjoy the smell of outdoors. Not everyone got the memo though.

Upon hearing that Brie’s parents were at the house, everyone quietly dank up until Mica arrived. While everyone else was sitting around as if they were at a funeral, Mica was turned up to the max. Mica was trying to get over the fact that her estranged father had passed away without her receiving closer from the craziness he put her through. Even if they would have had a close relationship, that’s still a hard loss to take. So in trying to ignore her situation, Mica arrived cheerful and ready to drink.

Instead of being cheerful back the other women had words with her. They all immediately tried to get her to quiet down and then took turns bashing her. Demetria walked away because she knew her words were no help to the situation. Geneva insisted on calling Mica an alcohol and telling her to detox. Brie just wanted everything to be calm, but everyone was too upset to continue on whatever that initial boringness was supposed to be. So even though Mica was the last to arrive, she was also the first to leave.

Upon her leaving, Demetria and Geneva had made up their minds that they were too good to be friends with a woman that likes to drink alcohol. The ironic part of this is that Mica had decided those two were not real friends of hers. While the whole episode was full of drama, we can all say peace of mind was gained for more than one person. 

Monday, February 10, 2014

#BloodSweatHeels Melyssa Ford Is One of Us

"The energy in this industry has exhausted me. I'm tired. And I will not thump my nose at it. I'm very grateful, but at the same time people only see me as this one dimensional piece of paper on the wall. And I'm like when are you gonna let me grow out of that."--Melyssa Ford

Melyssa Ford is one of us. It's no joke. If you've been watching Bravo's show "Blood, Sweat, and Heels" then you probably thought the story of ex-video vixen, Melyssa Ford was a big fat lie. This is a woman who once partied with the biggest of celebrities. Men paid her rent and for her to fly out and be with them. She wore clothes and shopped at places that our tax refunds couldn't even buy. Plus men overall saw her as a symbol of beauty. Now she's on a show confessing about finally having to be a grown-up at the age of 36.

"I do think Melyssa is in conflict, because I don't think real estate agents host parties for money. I think she just sometimes lets what people think about her affect her progress. And she has to establish that, 'It's not about my body anymore. It's about my brains.'"-Daisy Lewellyn

Just in case you haven't reached the grown-up stage yet, people refer to this part of life as the time where your only focus is on paying bills. It's about the house mortgage, the car note, putting gas in the car, and making sure the lights stay on. It's about stability, as Melyssa mentions in one of the confessions.

"I think I'm looking for stability. It shows maturity and growth in old age."-Melyssa Ford

This realization came after she had a heart to heart talk with Dr. Michael Eric Dyson. The talk was all about how she held a party for rent money, but the whole thing made her feel horrible. All the men there cared about was getting close to her body. She had to throw the party though, because the real estate business is not easy to break into, but bills don't wait for money to start flowing in from a career.

Melyssa Ford is struggling. She's "living 9-5 just to say alive" and like many of us, it's eating at her self esteem during the moments where it becomes overwhelming. I love that she is on television giving us the raw truth about her current struggles. In fact I salute Melyssa because not everyone is brave enough to open up like her.

#WildflowersUnscripted Enough of No Respect

Today's #WildflowersUnscripted post is all about a defining life moment.
Just Because Picture 

I was tired of the disrespect. I was tired of being disrespected by so many people and no one expecting me to react. My family always taught me to turn my back on the gossipers and people who wanted to start fights. Even when a girl in high school confessed to a teacher that she had thoughts of killing me, others expected me to just ignore her. It was middle school when my kindness started being taken advantage of, but at 18 in a new state I would kill that nice girl image.

It was just another day in the life of 18 year old freshman college student, Lashuntrice Bradley. I had managed to meet a lot of people, but within a couple of weeks I'd manage to piss people off for stupid reasons. Even though I was in a new environment, I didn't like cliques. Cliques had never liked me, so I chose to make friends all around instead of in a small group. Some girls in my dorm didn't appreciate my friendliness, so we had a falling out with that.

Well, there was one particular girl who hated me for wanting to hang around with more people than her. The other girls just agreed with her. However, upon our falling out I couldn't escape her. I had introduced her to my roommate and they became the best of friends. The problem was that even though we weren't cool anymore, she didn't respect my space. She'd come into the room, sit at my computer desk, be on my bed, or whatever else and not say a word to me. I felt the tension and was so damn tired of it. I was so damn tired of being taken advantage of by everyone, people expecting me to always ignore their meanness, bow down to their bad behavior, etc.

So one day when I got back to the dorms she was in my room chatting with my roommate and sitting in a chair that belonged to me. As I walked in to sit my stuff down nothing was said to me. There were other girls in the room, but I was barely acknowledged. My good mood slowly started to turn sour. I started to realize I didn't want cruel people within my vision if they didn't have to be there. However, I also knew fighting was against the rules. Society teaches you that if you start a fight, consequences are sure to follow. So before I let angry words slip out I went to the dorm resident advisors. I explained to them that this girl didn't like me, but was always in my personal space. Then I asked if I'd be in the wrong if I told her that she was no longer allowed in my room. Because I was angry while saying it, they understood that this wasn't a game. They agreed that I'd be in the right, so I proceeded to say what needed to be said.

"You are mean, disrespectful, and I will no longer tolerate it in my personal space. I can't have you up in my room."

Those may not have been the exact words I said. I don't remember what exactly was said. It went from me telling her to get out of my room to us in the hallway surrounded by a bunch of people ready to fight. I had never been in a fight in my 18 years of life, but at the moment the anger told me to go for it. It told me to put the fear aside and stand up for myself, sand up for my self respect, and stand up for the respect that others owed to me.

That moment in time didn't bring us closer to being friends, but she made sure to stay out of my way for a while. When we finally found ourselves face to face again, she was a lot more respectful. I'm not sure why. I didn't really care by then, but what I did care about starting that day was people not walking all  over me.

I'm a 4'10 pretty brown skinned girl who for too many years spent letting others belittle me. That moment in time didn't change that fact that people who would be mean, but it did change their perception of me as a nice girl.

One of my problems with fear is that people want you to be afraid, but then they want to be able to say anything they want to you no matter how hurtful. They are not better than you. Stand up for yourself.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

#BloodSweatHeels Is Mica Still Drunk?

This is what we'll find out on tonight's (2/9/14) episode of Blood, Sweat, and Heels. The following post  first appeared on Since I'm so late posting it here, I'll just give you the whole thing. Keep reading.

“I don’t need alcohol to control me. I just need it to relax for what I was about to see.”- Mica Hughes

If you thought Bravo’s show “Blood, Sweat, and Heels” would be all about girl power, you’ve probably rightfully changed your mind.
With only four episodes to date, something about every woman has been questioned in a bad way. The first huge problem that popped up was Demetria’s blog, but as her infamous blog post fades away Mica’s issue is coming to light.
Alcohol is not a problem if you don’t see it as one, right? From Mica’s very first introduction of the show to the last episode, a glass of wine has been worked into almost every one of her scenes. Initially Mica appeared to be the fun party friend that also happens to be her own boss. Everyone shrugged her actions off up until the third episode, whether both Mica and Melyssa became extremely drunk at Geneva’s business party. That led up to Mica being the star of these next couple of episodes.
Episode four, also called “Papa Can You Hear Me,” starts off with Mica, Melyssa and Daisy having girls time. They’re sharing accessories, having some wine, and laughing. It all seems innocent up until the next scene. This is when Mica becomes a huge problem.
Geneva and Demetria, who started out as enemies, went to lunch to discuss Mica’s bad behavior. They were appalled that night and still embarrassed that the drunken behavior took place. While they were still disgusted, Mica was discussing her issues with her dad.
It all started when her mother and father divorced because of how mean he was to the both of them. After divorcing her mother, Mica tried to continue a relationship with her father, but he never wanted it. He was cruel and even on his death-bed, she still couldn’t find a father. There’s a scene in this episode where she has to get a drink before going to the hospital. Although the other women appear to be nice, the only person that seems to really support what she’s going through is her boyfriend. Well Daisy also seemed concerned.
However, Geneva did not appear to care. In every scene up until the last one she brought up how Mica acted at her business party. After so much discussion about the alcohol, Demetria and then the rest of the women slowly became worried about Mica. In fact even at Brie’s parents house, they were worried Mica would be drunk. However, after everyone had made it to the Hamptons she was nowhere to be seen. That is up until the very last part, which led to the February 9th preview.
We’re not sure what is going to happen, but two questions are in the air. Does Mica act wild at Brie’s parents house and will she still be drunk?

#WildflowersUnscripted Theme Songs of My Life

Today's #Wildflowersunscripted post is all about the theme song of my life. I couldn't choose just one, so I wrote about several.

I purposely skipped over yesterday's theme of a different/new city. It's mostly because I talk about wanting to move so much that it only felt right to give all the other bloggers a spotlight to tell their stories yesterday. If you're curious about mines anyway, I'll tell some more traveling tales and write about some more moving dreams eventually.

Monica's "Before You Walk Out My Life" is my theme song to lost friendships.

"Sometimes it makes me wonder where would I be if you hadn't discovered, which I did, inside of me. I knew there was something that we could compare."

"Never meant to cause you no pain. I just wanna go back to being the same.Well I only wanna make things right before you walk out my life."

Brandy's "Almost Doesn't Count" is the theme song of my love life up until this point. 

"Almost heard you singing you were finally free. What was always missing for you, baby, you found it inside of me." 

"Gonna find me somebody not afraid to let go. Want a no doubt, be there kind of man. You came real close, but every time you build me up you only let me down." 

Nas "If I Ruled The World" is my theme song to success. 

"If you could be mine, we'd both shine."

"Imagine everybody flashing, designer fashions. Lacing your clique up with diamond vogues. No rubbers, go in raw. Imagine the law with no undercovers. Just some thoughts for the mind. I take a glimps into time. Watch the blimp read 'The World Is Mines'." 

Geto Boys song "Mind Playing Tricks on Me" is how I feel when life tries to get me to settle for what I don't want. 

"I know the Lord is looking at me, but yet and still it's hard for me to feel happy. I often drift when I drive. Having fatal thoughts of suicide. Bang and get it over with, but that's bullshit." 

Honestly these are just the theme songs of my life currently. They change with my mood.