Monday, February 10, 2014

#WildflowersUnscripted Enough of No Respect

Today's #WildflowersUnscripted post is all about a defining life moment.
Just Because Picture 

I was tired of the disrespect. I was tired of being disrespected by so many people and no one expecting me to react. My family always taught me to turn my back on the gossipers and people who wanted to start fights. Even when a girl in high school confessed to a teacher that she had thoughts of killing me, others expected me to just ignore her. It was middle school when my kindness started being taken advantage of, but at 18 in a new state I would kill that nice girl image.

It was just another day in the life of 18 year old freshman college student, Lashuntrice Bradley. I had managed to meet a lot of people, but within a couple of weeks I'd manage to piss people off for stupid reasons. Even though I was in a new environment, I didn't like cliques. Cliques had never liked me, so I chose to make friends all around instead of in a small group. Some girls in my dorm didn't appreciate my friendliness, so we had a falling out with that.

Well, there was one particular girl who hated me for wanting to hang around with more people than her. The other girls just agreed with her. However, upon our falling out I couldn't escape her. I had introduced her to my roommate and they became the best of friends. The problem was that even though we weren't cool anymore, she didn't respect my space. She'd come into the room, sit at my computer desk, be on my bed, or whatever else and not say a word to me. I felt the tension and was so damn tired of it. I was so damn tired of being taken advantage of by everyone, people expecting me to always ignore their meanness, bow down to their bad behavior, etc.

So one day when I got back to the dorms she was in my room chatting with my roommate and sitting in a chair that belonged to me. As I walked in to sit my stuff down nothing was said to me. There were other girls in the room, but I was barely acknowledged. My good mood slowly started to turn sour. I started to realize I didn't want cruel people within my vision if they didn't have to be there. However, I also knew fighting was against the rules. Society teaches you that if you start a fight, consequences are sure to follow. So before I let angry words slip out I went to the dorm resident advisors. I explained to them that this girl didn't like me, but was always in my personal space. Then I asked if I'd be in the wrong if I told her that she was no longer allowed in my room. Because I was angry while saying it, they understood that this wasn't a game. They agreed that I'd be in the right, so I proceeded to say what needed to be said.

"You are mean, disrespectful, and I will no longer tolerate it in my personal space. I can't have you up in my room."

Those may not have been the exact words I said. I don't remember what exactly was said. It went from me telling her to get out of my room to us in the hallway surrounded by a bunch of people ready to fight. I had never been in a fight in my 18 years of life, but at the moment the anger told me to go for it. It told me to put the fear aside and stand up for myself, sand up for my self respect, and stand up for the respect that others owed to me.

That moment in time didn't bring us closer to being friends, but she made sure to stay out of my way for a while. When we finally found ourselves face to face again, she was a lot more respectful. I'm not sure why. I didn't really care by then, but what I did care about starting that day was people not walking all  over me.

I'm a 4'10 pretty brown skinned girl who for too many years spent letting others belittle me. That moment in time didn't change that fact that people who would be mean, but it did change their perception of me as a nice girl.

One of my problems with fear is that people want you to be afraid, but then they want to be able to say anything they want to you no matter how hurtful. They are not better than you. Stand up for yourself.

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