Friday, August 29, 2014

What Is The Black Woman's Privilege?

During my 8th grade year I switched schools. I didn't just switch though. I switched two months into the new school year. I was surrounded by new classmates and had to make mostly new friends. I knew a couple of the other students from various places like church and summer programs. So I was in a brand a new school with brand new teachers. I had to learn them as they learned how to deal with me. That same school year also happened to be my first school year where my body was going through new experiences.

See even though it was middle school and this was the most comment time for little girl's body to start experiencing womanly things, the school rules did not help the transition flow. Like clockwork my period would start each month and each month I'd hate my body a little more. I needed pills for the pain and enough pads to get my through the school day. I also needed as many bathroom breaks as possible. I was a clean freak and uncontrollable blood  leaking doesn't go well with that mentality.

One day I asked to go to the restroom during one of my classes. It was Algebra. I remember that white teacher's face as she said no. I explained to her that I was on my period. This is something every woman understands, right? I thought every woman understood up until that point. Strange things were happening to make my body very uncomfortable and she didn't give a damn. She would not let me out that classroom. I should have left anyway and handled my business, but I was trying to be a good student. By the time that bell rang and I took off to the restroom it was too late. Some blood had trickled down to my underwear. This was my first experience of learning that becoming a woman was hard. Years before I had learned that becoming a Black woman in a white-washed society would be the hardest experience ever. Books taught me that.

There is an article on titled Michael Brown's Death Reopened My Eyes to My Privileges As A Black Woman. I've read it more than once trying to find the privileges she is trying to say we have.

The army has changed hair policies a couple of times over the last year. At one point they said no one joining could have natural hair. They were referring to the kinky stuff that grows of the heads of us proud Black women. They were referring to dreadlocks, Afros, braids, and any other form of natural styles you can think of. Those certain hairstyles were restricted simply because the people making the rules did not think of those looks as professional. Black women raised so much Hell that the restrictions have been taken off. However, where is the privilege in knowing you may be denied the job of protecting the country just because you have braids or an Afro?

Or let's even look at the Save Our Sons initiative. It's positive and for bettering the lives of our back men. It's for saving the lives of our black men. It's for standing up for the lives our black men. However, Black women don't get the same treatment. Over the summer rape photos of a 16 year old Black girl hit the internet. When articles started going up in support of her, they were all written by Black women. Black men didn't want to touch the story. They may have tweeted about it, but outside of that they felt no responsibility. This is excluding the political leaders of course. This is a huge pattern. Black women get mistreated or murdered and most people turn their backs. Black men get mistreated or even killed and everyone wants everyone else to become an activist. We did just have some luck in the Renisha McBride case. The man who shot and killed her was found guilty and will be spending a long time in prison. However, we can't fight to bring justice to one black woman and ignore others. There is no privilege in that.

I get that the author was saying black men have to be more cautious in society, but don't we have to be just as cautious? We're judged by how sexual we are. We're judged by how our hair looks. We're constantly told to smile when we never asked for the stranger's input. White women do stuff and are seen as cool, but we as black women do the same things and are seen as ratchet.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

#PreachersofLA Truth Be Told

Does the Bible condone judging? During an argument on the Preachers of LA episode titled Truth Be Told First Lady LaVette Gibson said the Bible says it's okay to judge.
Via Twitter

You would think everyone will eventually get tired of discussing when Loretta and Bishop Noel Jones is going to finally walk down the aisle together. Maybe one day it'll happen, but not yet. Pastor Ron Gibson and his wife definitely weren't tired of discussing it on last night's episode. The issue went as far as LaVette pointing out that the bible says its okay to judge. After all, judging is what was going on.

The pastors were judging each others lifestyles. They were trying to figure out who was living a better life. Pastor Gibson had definitely made up in his mind that he was living the holier life. At least that's the impression he gives us all. He was passionate about Loretta not being a part of ministry work simply because she's not a wife. Then again maybe it was because he simply did not understand the status of Loretta and Noel's relationship.

Judging is the key word in this all. Upon hearing the statement about judging being okay in the bible I tweeted about that it must have been a mistake. Two people responded with Bible verses to show that judging is accepting.

One verse is John 7:24. This verse states that it is okay to judge a person upon getting to know them. However, judging based on appearances alone is unacceptable. I think the Gibsons were judging based on appearances since they really had nothing else to go off of.

The other is 1 Corinthians 5: 12-13. This states that the people of the church house should not judge outsiders. However, they should be aware of the evil inside the church house so they can keep the evil away from them. Does this verse apply to the situation to you?

Other cast members didn't get as much time during this episode. Pastor Haizlip was seen ministering while Deitrick Haddon was seen spending time with his family. Other cast members were noticeably absent from this episode, but that only means some wise (and no so wise) words will be spoken from them in the future.

You may be wondering why I'm not discussing the after show where Loretta said she would say yes to marrying Noel. I'll get to that one later.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Your Face In Mine, When A White Man Becomes A Black Man

Racial Reassignment Surgery. What the Hell is that? Author Jess Row writes all about it in his fiction novel Your Face In Mine. We've all seen African Americans who've worked hard to change their skin tones. They've hated their brown skin so much that no amount of plastic surgery seemed to be enough.

Michael Jackson transformed from Black to White before our very eyes. Latoya Jackson made lots of changes to her appearance. Lil Kim followed his lead and made major changes to her appearance. At times she can now be mistaken for White, Chinese, or a light skinned black woman depending on how heavy her makeup is. Sammy Sosa was once a fairly handsome black man, but he lightened his skin so much he now looks like a member of the Adams family. These are just a few.

However, in the novel Your Face In Mine the character Martin does not hate his skin tone. He absolutely loves being a Black man. He loves his brown skin, deep voice, and kinky hair. Martin loves it so much that he wants the world to know in the oddest way. He runs into an old classmate Kelly and wants Kelly to reveal his story to the world. It's the story of how he received racial reassignment surgery. He was born a White man and received surgery to become Black.

While racial reassignment surgery is made up, it is a very real procedure in Your Face In Mine. At the beginning of the book Martin describes it as a simple procedure. He describes it as if he's going to the grocery store to restock the refrigerator, except this isn't as easy as grocery shopping. Martin was born a white man, but decided to become Black. In order to fit into his new lifestyle he changes his name, marries, and adopts children. However, he can't hide behind his dark brown complexion forever. His story needs to be told and that's where Kelly comes in.

Kelly is a depressed man working at a local radio station. In the past couple of years he's lost his wife and daughter to a tragic accident, moved back to his hometown, and currently works for a radio station. Kelly spends his time either being depressed or talking to his dead wife. He's the perfect target for Martin. This is how the book starts out.

Kelly sort of recognizes Martin in the parking lot of a grocery store, but he doesn't recognize him at the same time. The Martin that Kelly last saw was a white man and now his appearance says he's of a totally different race. However, Martin acts as if his new appearance means nothing and immediately convinces Kelly to tell his story.

Initially I glanced over Your Face Is Mine in the bookstore, but then went back to it. After reading the summary, Jess Row, the white author jumped out at me. A white man wrote a fiction book about a white man getting surgery and becoming black. I'm currently reading it now. You should join me.

The Depressing Tweet I Chose To Ignore During The #VMAs

As the 2014 MTV Video Awards started I was ready. Celebrities, fashion, and current music was flowing through my mind. Who was about to win what did not matter. Who would perform what did not matter. It was all about what they did once they hit the stage. It was all about what they said while on the stage. It was really all about positivity.

Wait, my mind was on positivity. Upon looking at every tweet I wanted to see positivity. While don't always unite on twitter, award shows are a guarantee that everyone will be on one accord. Most people were. We went wild when Jessie J., Ariana Grande, and Nicki Minaj opened up the awards show. Even though Anaconda sucks as a song, everyone was curious to see whether she would have snakes and whether her ass would actually move. You never know when you buy body parts. 
The twitter line was full of celebrity pictures and lots of laughing emoticons when an activist decided to try and ruin everyone else's fun. Then again, he could have just been expressing how he still could not smile due to Michael Brown's death and police brutality. Either way, his tweet sent a message. 

The message I took was that we shouldn't enjoy our lives because of the terrible events that are going on. The message I got was that I shouldn't concentrate on anything else until justice is done, but whose to say justice will really happy? What does justice look like anyway? It is different for everyone. Who is also to say that the evil in the world will end if I put off the MTV Awards, or BET Awards, or even the Oscars? It won't. 

This tweet came on Sunday and then Monday Michael Brown's funeral was broadcasted. I'm not sure if it was on television because I never checked. However, there was a link to watch it online. I couldn't do it. I didn't want my emotions to go there. Be mad at me for not wanting to get angry. Be mad at me for not wanting to be sad at that particular moment. I chose to wake up and do something that involved living. 

Monday, August 25, 2014

Maybe Reality Television Is A Career Killer

Maybe reality television is a career killer in some ways. At least for singers and rappers that is. Just look at Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. The season is over, which means the only time we'll hear any of the artists music played is during the new season months from now.

This season of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta featured a whole lot of music. However, none of it has been on radio stations. If it was on local stations it would be searchable. XM radio stations touch songs that local stations usually ignore, but they haven't even played any of the songs from the show.

Rasheeda and Kalenna actually had good music, but no radio play. For instance, "We Be Makin' Luv" had a catchy club beat and was clearly supposed to be a 90's vibe. It has also received over 200,000 plays on youtube to date. However, is it on the radio? XM radio plays all songs and I'm not hearing it on any of the stations. Maybe local stations in Atlanta have played it at least once. I could be wrong.

Where is Stevie J.'s music (the song with Snoop Dogg)? Whatever song Stevie J. and Snoop Dogg were working on needs to be released as soon as possible. It should have come out the day the show aired. The song is called DNA, but if you research it the only thing you'll find is the clip for LHHATL. That is if you search youtube. If you search google a whole bunch of other things will pop up.

I did hear Karlie Redd's "Heartbreaker" song on Shade 45 once, but it was during an interview with her. Although they played the song, they weren't really interested in it. The interview was more towards Karlie's drama with Young Joc and how she took him off the song and replaced him with Young Dro.

Love and Hip Hop artists aren't the only ones being ignored though. Months ago KeKe Wyatt released her EP Ke'Ke'. All five songs on the album are amazing, but where is music being played? Which radio stations? I've heard her music on Heart & Soul Radio (an XM radio stations) a couple of times, but not enough times.

The only reality stars whose music we are currently hearing on more plays than television is Leela James (Fall For You), Chrisette Michele (A Couple of Forevers), and Kelly Price (It's My Time) who  quit R&B Divas after the last season.

#VMAs How Blue Ivy Re-Ignited My Baby Fever

For the past couple of months my ovaries have been talking to me. I'm having baby cravings, motherhood-hormones, a crazed sex drive that I'm trying to ignore. Seriously my biological clock has started to talk to me and the baby fever is kicking in.

I thought it had calmed down somewhat. My mind was recently racing after photos of North West in designer outfits started hitting the web. How can a baby that can barely talk be that cute? I wanted one like her. I didn't want to wait and find a man. I didn't want to go through nine months of labor. In those moments I immediately wanted a little girl with features like me and a wardrobe to kill for.

Thoughts like those are when social media becomes dangerous. There is absolutely no way that I'm ready to become a mother. My bank account says so. My selfishness says so. My inability to meet a man that's willing to fall in love with me speaks volumes. Maybe one day that man will come along, but for now there hasn't been anyone worthy of mixing his semen with my eggs to create new life.

Even though I haven't met that man these cute kids continue to appear. If you watched the MTV Video Awards then you know how Blue Ivy stole the show. Blue Ivy showed the world that just like her mother, she also "Woke Up Like This." Blue's Afro was also flawless and she cheered her mom on. After watching I couldn't help but think of having a cute family of my own. Just picture it. There's me, the man that loves me, and our beautiful daughter with a princess attitude.
Let me go check my bank account now and remind myself of the lack of worthy men in my phone.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

My Preparation For Awards Shows

Fashion. Hair. Makeup. Outfits. Post Pregnancy Weight. Who's Who Of The Year.

I know I'm missing a few things. This is the time of the MTV Awards. Everyone's anticipating what all the celebrities will be wearing. We all want to know what Beyonce will surprise us with and which personality Nicki Minaj will showcase. A million other celebrities will catch our attention at the same time.

While the men are a big deal, they could walk on a red carpet looking homeless and it would barely phase us. However, the women are what we pay attention they. They are a reflection of us. We see ourselves in Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Rita Ora (maybe), Rihanna and whoever else is in the spotlight.

These are usually the times I feel like doing a little splurging on makeup. Why should they be the only ones trying to look good? I'll be getting dressed up, putting on a little eyeshadow and lipstick, and tweeting my heart away tonight about all the rich people.

Friday, August 22, 2014

An In-My-Feelings Moment

You know how sometimes you have so much on your mind, but you just don't know how to talk to others about it. You don't want to come off ungrateful or super needy. You don't want to come off insensitive because you know others have issues of their own and can't cater to you. Well, I have some stuff weighing heavily on my mind and this seems to be the best place to let it all out.

On October 30th I turn 28. Approximately a week later the Blogalicious conference happens. I won't be in attendance. I've been thinking about this conference since May. I've been dreaming of what it would be like, how much better I could do at it than what I did at the Blogging While Brown conference as far as meeting people goes, how much more I could learn from going to this brand new event (for me), and how nothing could possibly stop me from going. Well, money is stopping me. Unfortunately I'm not in a financial place to charge another $1,000 to my credit card and escape out of the city.

This was supposed to be the year of new goals being accomplished. Not only was I supposed to go to New York City for the second time, but I was also supposed to plan for at least one blogging conference happening right in my own state (for this year at least). That would be the Blogalicious conference that happens in November. I desperately wanted to do more than sit behind the computer, write, and promote this year. I wanted to be on the scene meeting other people like me; people passionate about writing. It's not going to happen.

Moving out of Texas is not about to happen this year. A conference is not about to happen this year. The biggest thing that will happen is I might get a chance to take a week off for my birthday. The week I turn 28 I'll be trying to figure out a million things to do in Houston with barely any money and no one to hang out with. Friends may join me for one night of clubbing, but I'll have to remind them 20 times in order to make it happen. The older I get the more annoying it gets to remind others that my birthday is actually important to me. So you already know how my mind is going to go the closer it gets to October. Please don't tell me how I could be worse off. I really don't care at this moment.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

#PreachersofLA Judge Not

The first lesson from season two of Preachers of LA is all about judging. It seems as if there are just a lot of misunderstandings going on.

For instance Pastor Jay Haizlip felt caught off guard when he found out he married off a couple that was hiding very important news. Deitrick and his wife were pregnant and already married when Pastor Haizlip publicly united them as one. Neither Deitrick or Dominique knew they were doing anything wrong. The initial pastor didn't show up and they needed someone to officiate the wedding.

The same goes for Loretta, Bishop Noel Jones, and Bishop Ron Gibson. Clearly Ron has been holding onto the fact that Loretta and Noel are not married. Whether friends or more, they've been together for almost two decades and still not married. That bothers Ron because of what the bible says. In this situation they all just have to listen to each other and respect each other's opinions. I think in the reunion show Loretta shut all the marriage questions down with her amazing response to Michelle Williams.

"It hasn't always been like this. It came with a level of maturity. I've come to a point that this is where I am. I own it, I accept it, and I walk in it."- Loretta

Actually it seems as if the message of judging  is going to get stronger into the season. There's a future scene where Loretta is crying and saying something about a pastor recognizing hurt. Then Ron's face appears. Is this connected? We'll have to wait to find out. The reunion episodes were clearly taped after the 2nd season was over with.

There are two people we will probably not see drama from. That is Pastor Wayne Chaney and his wife. Also, I love the message of Judge Not. Judging is what keeps every reality television show in circulation, so the message is definitely worth tackling.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

His #Anaconda Wants Some (Lessons From Nicki Minaj)

When in doubt there is always one person to remind us that sex might be the answer. Despite the fact that Nicki Minaj dissed us skinny women, I was thoroughly entertained by her Anaconda music video. From the fashion to the ass shaking I found myself getting in the groove and doing a couple of my own moves.

Nicki Minaj is weird. We all know that, but as time goes by we're also learning a lot from her. The following are a few things that the Anaconda video taught me.

I can do plenty of rants about wanting to be seen as a boss, but at the same time I can shake my ass and the world will enjoy it. Nicki was moving that ass as much as she could.

There is no such thing as over-sexualizing yourself. Clearly all shorts can become smaller. When short shorts aren't enough to grab a man's attention, you can put Bunz on the back of the shorts to get the point across. Look, I want those shorts that say Bunz. If ass shaking isn't enough, add food to the mix and it'll be better.

His Anaconda wants some. Actually the video is all about big asses, but clearly we don't have to have big asses for men to want us. We just have to say the right words and make the right moves.

Watch the video below.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

2014's Most Inspirational Song, I Deserve- Momma Dee

Of all people who debuted their songs on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta this season, none of it mattered after Momma Dee decided to start up her new career as a singer. 

Upon really looking at her son Scrappy's activities with women, she was fed up. She had to do something about it. Momma Dee had to represent for all the women in the world someway. What's better than a song? At least that's what I'm guessing this song I Deserve is about. It might be a Gospel song. 

Clearly it's about how every mother, specifically Momma Dee, needs to be loved. I think she's talking about the love of God. 

"When I opened up my eyes, much to my surprise, you came into my life, gave me love, from above." I'm going to be singing along with this for at least another day. 

#AtlantaExes 4 Reasons Why These Women Are The GOATS of Celebrity Divorces

Atlanta Exes has aired and clearly these women are the GOATs of celebrity ex-wives.

They have to go to their ex-husbands in order to date new men. We all know CeeLo is the real Queen no matter what woman he dates, so no woman of his can get away with dating new men he doesn't approve of. At least that is his mentality. CeeLo is straight pimping is ex-wife, Christina Johnson, and telling her not to be all out in public with any man. Christina is a pretty woman, but she's so attached to her ex-husband in the first episode they might as well still be married.

Their exes break up with them through social media, but they say only positive words when the spotlight is on them. Monyetta Shaw is a beautiful woman with a beautiful spirit. It hurt my heart when Neyo released that statement via Instagram that they were breaking up. What made it even worse was that Mo was blindsided. She didn't even see it coming, but on this show he is the loving father of her children and she's showing respect.

They need their husbands for relevancy. At least in the first episode they do. Although Christina is being hi-lighted on the show, CeeLo had to make a guest appearance. While Tameka Raymond had a career long before Usher, his name was brought up by her and the other women who had something to say to her. Even at her an event in remembrance of Tameka's son, Torrei Hart had to bring up Usher.

No matter how hard they try, the men they've been attached to might always overshadow them. While this world is nothing without us women, men know how to steal our spotlights. On the same day Atlanta Exes premiered, Kevin Hart got engaged to his girlfriend of many years. Not only is Torrei Hart on a show where she'll reveal her feelings toward Kevin, their relationship, and their divorce, but  he's showing the world just how happy he his with his new woman. That means no one will care about Torrei's story unless she does like Andrea Kelly and bring a fine ass man on the show as her new bae.

So like the addict I am, I'll be tuned in next week again. Did you like it?

Monday, August 18, 2014

#AtlantaExes A New Look Into Sisterhood?

Via Vh1
There's nothing more entertaining than a beautiful divorced Black woman. At least that is what Vh1 is trying to convince us.

A couple months back a sad thing happened. One day Hollywood Exes was going strong and the next week no more episodes were coming on. The last thing I remember is Andrea Kelly crying because someone jokingly asked if she ever had a golden shower. The question was hilarious, but her reaction to it was very pathetic. She ruined the night for the rest of the women and apparently the viewership of the show must have already been low. Who knew that the beautiful Nicole Murphy, Sheree Fletcher, Jessica Conseco, Mayte Garcia, Shamicka Lawrence, Shanna Moakler, and Andrea were not enough to satisfy our cravings of watching divorced women on television? 

Vh1! That's who. This network is not just giving us a new set of divorced women to watch. They are giving us the cream of the crop. They're giving us women who really sit on thrones. They are giving us Atlanta Exes. 
We all knew Tameka Raymond was working on getting back into the spotlight. Not only did Tameka lose one of her sons to a fatal accident, but Usher has custody of their two children. However, what we weren't ready for was Torrei Hart to sign up for reality television. Like Kevin Hart, Torrei is also a comedian. She's released tons of funny videos via youtube. I'm pretty sure her career as a comedian won't be the main focus of Atlanta Exes though. 

Then there is Monyetta Shaw. She was previously with Neyo and is the mother of his child. She is the one that Neyo used Instagram to announce their break-up. How embarrassing is it when someone publicly dumbs you through social media? 

The last two women are Christina Johnson and Sheree Thompson. Christina was previously married to everyone's favorite drag Queen singer, Ceelo Green, and Sheree was previously married to Ray Buchanan. 

All of these women have two things in common. They've been married to super successful men and they've all had to share those men with the rest of the world. Now its time to see what they have to share with us. I don't think Atlanta Exes is going to be similar to Hollywood Exes at all. 

The show starts tonight. I'll be tuned in. Join me. 

#KendraOnTop Did Hank Baskett Cheat On Kendra?

Currently Kendra Wilkinson Baskett is busy trying to get her home happy again. Months ago she gave birth to her second child, a girl by the name of Alija Mary. Since then she's avoided the press as much as she possibly could. On social media she's given updates on spending time with family, but in the preview for the new season of Kendra On Top, a happy family is not what we're seeing.
While she was still pregnant, rumors were going around that her husband Hank Baskett was cheating. However, according to tabloids he wasn't sexing other women. He was sexing a transgendered woman by the name of Ava. This all sounds like good television, right?

Well, mix a rumor about a husband cheating with a woman whose around eight months pregnant and good television is what you'll get. Kendra is super emotional through the whole preview trailer. In one clip Kendra says she flushed her wedding ring down the toilet. In another clip she's hysterically trying to figure out when he was even having this supposed affair.

There is one thing that is for sure. That family will not be watching Kendra On Top this season. They'll just be counting their paychecks from WE TV instead.

The Thin Line Between Sex-Only And Getting To Know Each Other

"I'm not in the mood for talking. I'm not even the mood for playing. I'm just in the mood for loving on you."

Video By
It's a thin like between just wanting sex and getting to know each other. It's a thin like between just calling him a friend and calling him your bae, boo, honey, or whatever word you choose. The line can even get crossed that moment he calls you his boo. He might be just throwing the word boo out there because he can't think of anything else to call you, but as a woman you end up interpreting it as so much more. The lovey-dovey words can represent a bond being formed in your mind, especially if sex hasn't even happened yet.

I'm not sure when it started, but at some point I became pro friends with benefits. I became pro-sex while attempting to keep all emotions out. However, then I had an experience where if I would have known the guy better I would not have gotten involved with him at all. Now I've come to the realization that even if it's all about sex, I need to get to know some information about the man I'm preparing to fool around with.

I need to know what his interests are, what his relationship with his family is like, if he's bossy or respectful to women, and anything else that could hint at whether or not his sanity is intact. I need to know whether he'll want to schedule times for us to be together or if he'll just show up nearby early in the morning. What does a girl do with all this knowledge? She starts to understand him.

"My mission is to make sure you don't wanna go nowhere." In getting to understand a man, I sometimes wonder if I'm crossing a line. A hugely known fact that people rarely speak about is how emotional men are. Once a man feels he knows you, he's emotionally attached as long as he is seeing you. That means if I start the game of sexing a man that claims he doesn't want a relationship, I also can't just easily walk away from him when I'm ready to.

I'm also starting to realize the older I get the more the picture changes. I'm not dealing with men who have 20 different options for women surrounding them like in college. Some of these men have kids already, some have ex-wives, and some are at a point where they are struggle with what their man-hood is supposed to even look like. They were taught a man takes care of his home, but they are still living with their parents as 30 creeps closer. They've been hurt by at least one woman and I'm supposed to be that woman that goes in and changes a man's perception for the better again. I'm also dealing with men who have love everything about their lives, except for the fact that they don't have a woman to call their own. I'm not at a point where I can be totally comfortable with life as it is.

If you're still single, do you notice how much more complicated it gets as you get older?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

#ThrowbackThursday Lil Kim On The Ricki Lake Show

Just after giving birth to Royal Reign, Lil Kim has started making promises of new music for all of us fans. However, there is one fact that is clear. The Kimberly Jones that is releasing music in 2014 is not the Queen Bee that came out with raw, jaw-dropping lyrics in the 90's.

Lil Kim has changed and it is clear in more ways than her physical features. However, the Lil Kim from back in the day wasn't afraid to express herself, show off her beautiful brown skin, and still come off as a sweet woman to everyone around her.

Below is a glimpse at the Queen B that we all miss. She went on The Ricki Lake Show with friends and even received a signature pink wig with the letter R in it. On top of it all, 1997 was clearly a time period where people were actually waiting on Lil Kim to drop new music.

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

(Music) About This Song I Heard On The Radio

This rapper eats cats and he's not referring to the pets either. Recently while hanging out, a friend asked a question I had never heard before. She said, "Have you noticed men talking about eating it more lately?"

It represents our precious vaginas, or boxes, or pussy if you prefer the rawest way of saying it. I pondered it for a moment and then referenced a throwback song where Raphael Saadiq mentions kissing it in the cleanest way possible. When I think about it men do talk about eating the pussy a lot lately, but unlike Raphael Saadiq artists are currently leaving nothing to the imagination.

There's a rapper out called Just TY. I'm not sure what TY stands for, but T.I. is promoting his career. He has a song out currently expressing his love for having a woman's juices all over his face. It's called I Eat Pussy and features Fat Trel.
I really don't know what else to say.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

When A Wild-Hearted Woman's Relationship Is On The Line

I have a confession to make.

Sometimes I think about marriage. I think about discovering my soulmate in the middle of some club as everyone gets crunk to "Fight Night" and falling deeply in love. I imagine him in his white t-shirt and me in a dress from Body Central as we elope one day. Waka Flocka Flame and his wife helped create that vision. If we're broke and can't go out of town, I imagine us honey-mooning in a fancy hotel (paid for by family members) downtown while we pretend it's Paris. I also imagine us having a relationship that's different from everyone around us.
We'll club together and get super drunk together. We'd have spontaneous moments of going places just to go places, even if everyone else is telling us to sit still. We'd have a relationship where he respects me and respects that I'm the boss. The idea of me being the boss of the house comes from Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's relationship.

Ultimately I have this fantasy that the man I fall in love with will push me a little closer to freedom. He won't try to lock me down with ideas of what a wife is supposed to be or what a mother is supposed to be. He'll love me the way I am. I remember Hank Baskett saying something similar to that about Kendra Wilkinson on Celebrity Wife Swap.

Kendra is a wild soul and that's what first made me pay attention to her. Years ago a show called Girls Next Door came on E! Clearly Kendra was not supposed to be the break-out star of the show, but her personality stood out more than the others. She was wild and free-spirited. She didn't care about others judging her. All that was left was for prince charming to come along and marry her. Hank Baskett was her prince charming and not once have we seen them as a couple on the verge of breaking up. Recently rumors did come out that Kendra was speaking to divorce lawyers though. Supposedly Hank was cheating on her with a transexual that's been in the midst of many troubled celebrity relationships.

However, Kendra is not the only wild soul whose had rumors surrounding her relationship. There have also been rumors that Draya Michele and Orlando Scandrick are over. Plus there was an article saying Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey might be heading toward a divorce, but they refuse to speak on anything.

See, I can understand the boring housewives that end up becoming ex-wives. I can also understand the divorces that happen between people that are never together anyway. There is no real excitement to keep the sparks going in those kinds of relationships. However, what if the wild-hearted woman can't hold a man down? Her mind is filled with adventures she could go on, her heart is filled with love, but when it comes to a man she still lacks to knowledge to hold onto their union.

Most recent reports around the web say these couples will make it, but I still wonder. I wonder how it will all work out for myself.

Monday, August 11, 2014

How The Black Youth's #JusticeForMichaelBrown Looks

They were arrested for stealing from a sports store. This was they're way of getting justice.
#RIP Michael Brown. On Saturday August 9th, 2014 18 year old Michael Brown was shot 10 times by a Ferguson, Missouri police officer, but that is not the worst part. His mother stood nearby and watched her son get murdered. Why was this done? What motive did the officer have? The question remains unanswered. What we do know is that this teen would have been a freshman in college today, but one policeman's refusal to do his job correctly has taken that away.

Everyone is rightfully angry at this point. However, it is clear that the look of getting justice for the black people has changed. What started out as a peaceful protest has turned into young folks robbing and burning down places. However, the places targeted are not random. Earlier photos started surfacing of a gas station being robbed. It went from that photo to another photo of the gas station being burned down. Someone even uploaded a vine of a man being mad that he didn't get any Cheetos before they set the place ablaze. It gets crazier.

Right after watching the 2nd Purge movie someone did a joke that if there ever was a real purge the first thing black people would do was steal sneakers. It was supposed to be a funny joke, but upon clicking on the Fox broadcast link of what was going on in Ferguson, Missouri the reporter was standing in front of a sports store. Behind the reporter you could see black people carrying boxes out of the store. What does anything a store that sells shoes and sports accessories have to do with justice? Ask the kids.

On top of that we all have an obsession with our hair. Maybe it stems from society's obsession with straight hair, our obsession with Beyonce and snatching edges, or it just has to do with each and every  woman's vanity issues. We have to look good at all times, even if it's just to open the door for UPS. To me this has nothing to do with the death of Michael Brown, but some young girl posted pictures of some hair she had stolen in the midst of all the rioting. Yes, they were robbing the hair store. However, this is her form of justice.

Pictures Via Twitter.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

(Poetry) So Anxious~ New Poem/ Throwback Song

So anxious, it’s been a long time coming, and now my emotions are whiling. Yet you keep teasing me, saying different ways of how you want to please me, feeding me fantasies of your long-stroke, saying how you’ll make me scream, and long for more. Oh the many ways we could fuck! So I’m waiting, impatiently waiting, thinking of ideas of how we could start…Like taking clothes off at the door, why wait to get to a bed when wherever we are I can make it wet for you, as long as you hurry and give me some of that good Vitamin D…So anxious I’ll try whatever you want to do…Cause I’m diggin’ on you, you’re diggin’ on me, and it’s all sexually…But I’m so anxious, sitting here with my hands in my you know where, thoughts of you making me play with myself…When are you gonna make this happen? 9 am or 9 pm? Tonight or tomorrow? Do you want me this weekend or is this all a game? I’m so anxious, so let me know what’s up.
And yes, I wrote it. 

Thursday, August 7, 2014

(Music) The One ~ IDEH Featuring Flowzart

"We might be faded for a minute. The London city life is what we living. It's 2 o'clock in the morning, drink it up and keep pouring, we whiling out, turning up. The music's got me feeling like The One."

Why did no one tell me about this singer IDEH? Well, I'm telling you. Sylvia Ideh is showing us just how good they are in London. Check out her song The One below.

Video By

The Search For Freedom

Where is freedom? Is it sold in Walmart or it is expensively hidden on some aisle in Target? I've been searching for freedom.

Surely it's not found during the 40 hours spent at work. Work is where responsibility takes place. Work is how bills get paid and exhaustion more often than not gets made. Of course if you're lucky enough to have your dream career, then you've found a little bit of freedom. However school, family, and anyone that you might look up to will give you the impression that you have to learn to work for others in order to eventually get to freedom. That is, if you ever experience it. I'm still searching for freedom.

Is it found in a lover? Whether he's been a boyfriend or a friend with benefits freedom has escaped me in that area. Too many rules. Too many calls not returned. Too many one-sided emotions involved. Not enough emotions involved on one side. A lot of non-communicating. I run from the problem especially when the problems are hard to address. The problems really become hard to address when there isn't supposed to be any emotional attachment. Who made the term "friends w/ benefits" anyway? Who decided that sex without a real relationship is freedom? Who decided that being in a committed relationship was the greatest joy? Maybe I've been doing it wrong, because I'm still in search for the freedom that comes along with a having a lover.

I find a little freedom in shopping and a little more in eating my favorite food. There is some real freedom in listening to my favorite songs late at night when the rest of the world is clearly sleep. I also find some freedom in hanging with friends, but they have to be available for that. When I have those moments of feeling sexy, I find a little bit of freedom in sending dirty pictures to someone that appreciates them. However, I also wonder how long freedom is supposed to be.

Is freedom found in random moments of just doing whatever it is I want to do? Is freedom supposed to be just making others happy? Is freedom supposed to be what I feel 23 out of the 24 hours of the day or should it be found in one or two hours of each day? I'm still searching for freedom, so if you know all about it please explain.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Gold Digger Alert: Andrea Kelly's Broke Ex-Husband Is With Momma Dee

*Cues Tupac's I Get Around* Of course this is not about Robert Kelly. That fine job-less dude by the name of Brian McKee has gotten over Andrea Kelly divorcing him and found a new love. This time he's found a woman even more seasoned and even more in the spotlight. Don't laugh.

Remember how Momma Dee spoke about having found love on one of the Love & Hip episodes? Me either, but apparently she has and it's in the arms of Brian. He moved on went older. Momma Dee is not shy about confessing her budding romance or the fact that Mr. McKee is using reality tv mamas as his way to fame.

Monday, August 4, 2014

(Videos) The State Of R&B Discussion

"You want me to love it because Timbaland did it. I actually don't like it. Well, that's offensive. Why is it offensive? Because Timabland did it."- Tyrese

Recently The Recording Academy gathered several people in the music industry together for The Grammy Conversation: The State of R&B. The panelists consisted of Tyrese Gibson, Ledisi, music journalist Gail Mitchell, singer and songwriter Liv Warfield, producer Lashawn Daniels, and host Qudus. This was no sugarcoated conversation. Watch the videos below.

Sunday, August 3, 2014

#Flawless Beyonce Has Lifted All Of Our Confidence Once Again

"Of course shit go down when it's a billion dollars on the elevator." Beyonce is the Queen of making relationship drama a normal part of life's experiences, even if the mess gets caught on an elevator camera. She's also the queen of making every woman feel like she can conquer the world with her sexiness and intelligence.

Overnight I listened to Bey's new Flawless remix featuring Nicki Minaj about 30 times and each time my confidence went up a little more. The following are the main reasons why. 

You wish I was your pound cake

Wish I was your baby mama, so I can come around and give you good karma

Of course shit go down when it's a billion dollars on the elevator

I wake up looking this good and I wouldn't change it if I could

Some Nicki Lyrics That Lifted My Spirits

You can say what you want. I'm the shit.

Like MJ doctor, they killin' me

I score before I ever throw the ball

It's every hood nigga fantasizing about Nicki & B 

Pussy So Delicious

Of course the hood nigga part has changed to my name in my imagination. We all need confidence boosters, right? Through all long days of work, childbirth (I haven't gotten there yet), periods, cramps, catering to men, rappers sexualizing us to the point where it seems like us women aren't good for anything else, sometimes it just feels good to hear something that is motivating. I know there is some guy out there that wishes I was his poundcake, or pecan pie, or chocolate chip ice cream bar.