The Questions That Never Seem To Get Answers

There is a lot going on. Some of it is in a city near you, some on television, and some on your social media news feeds. Even if the chaos isn't what you are seeing outside of your front door, there are lots of people making sure you know what is going on.

Just because you see doesn't mean you have to agree. This is where the chaos gets more chaotic. We live in a world where we are expected to always agree with each other, but that is never reality. People who agree with each other are on Facebook, twitter, and even Instagram arguing with each other. People who disagree are spending hours on these same sites trying to change each other's minds. It's one of the ways we operate. We either argue until we agree or we stay silent for fear of someone trying to change our minds. There are currently several arguments going on.

Freddie Gray
The first fact we know about Freddy Gray's death is that he was wrongfully targeted by crooked cops. They saw him, he ran, and they had no reason to run after him. However, they did chase him and in the process murdered him. One argument that is going on is what happened for him to be arrested. The cause really doesn't matter at this point, but the debate is going. Another debate that is going on is what should happen to police. While the answer of how the police involved should be punished sounds easy, the people protecting them are making it hard.

The Police
Deaths such as Freddie Gray's always brings up a never ending argument. That argument involves the power of police officers. How much power should police have? Are their jobs really to protect and serve the community? At what point are they going to be punished for the crimes they commit?

Mother Of The Year
While we wait to see if the police will be punished in any type of way for this crime, a Black mother has gotten fame for hitting her son upside his head several times in front of CNN cameras. She's now known as the best mom of 2015 for embarrassing her son in front of television cameras and dragging him away from protestors. Her actions have also started debates online about good parenting.

The Activist Who Got Arrested On Live Television

There's a huge pattern going on. We love reality television and the drama that comes with it. We love watching other people's lives as they live them. Currently CNN and Fox news are airing real moments of real people. Most recently cameras that were filming on major news networks caught Activist Joseph Kent being arrested by cops for being out after curfew. The video looks more like a kidnapping. It is a kidnapping.

Remember we love reality television, but should this be real life? Should any of it be our reality?

Lessons From Love & Hip Hop Season 4 So Far #LHHATL

We're two episodes into season four of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta and the cast is just as entertaining as ever. While the first episode left us in doubt of how this season would go, the second episode is back to normal. There are strippers, baby mamas, skeptical wives, husbands that want to cheat, female pimps, Stevie J., and of course Joseline. There's also a lot to learn. The following are just a couple lessons from these first two episodes.

At Some Point, You Have To Walk Away From The Pole and the good money that comes along with it. In the very first episode there was Karlie Redd and two random red-head women celebrating the very last day of one of the women stripping. They bragged about how the business allowed the one girl to make huge amounts of money, but she also pointed out how she wanted more for her life.

By The Looks of Joseline, You Can Walk Away From The Pole but the spirit of it doesn't leave you that easily. Joseline was dressed more like a stripper than she had in the previous seasons.

"If A Man Is Shady, His Hiding Place Is Gonna Be Shady Too." Karlie Redd is the queen of looking for trouble and Rasheeda used her to do some dirt. What happened to that perfect relationship her and Kirk had? Were they only happy for a couple of months after the camera started rolling?

Even If He Is A Cheater, Fight To Get Him Back. This is Young Joc's second season on LHHATL, but he's proving that he is worth staying. While he and Karlie Redd did not work out, he's dating the woman he was cheating on her with. Young Joc is also being pressured to get back with his fourth baby mama just because she might want more kids. This is a representation of how desperate some women will get to have the perfect looking family.

Some Women Just Don't Grow Wiser, or maybe it's just MiMi Faust. MiMi will never get it. She thinks meeting a man at a park in the dark will prove she's no longer dating him. Nope, that's how dead bodies get found by joggers the next day.

Pictures via Facebook

#RIP This One Is Dedicated To The Homie, Body Central

The most horrible news came my way this weekend. One of my favorite places to shop is closing it's doors everywhere. Body Central is official out of business. 

"This one's dedicated to my homies in that gangsta lean. Why'd you have to go so soon? It seems like yesterday we were hanging around the hood. Now I'm gonna keep your memory alive like a homie should."

Since filing for bankruptcy, the store has closed tons of locations across the country. Those include the locations in Houston that I used to spend a lot of time at. In fact only Florida, Georgia, North Carolina, and South Carolina still have locations open, but after this weekend they will be closed forever. It's tragic that a corporation that was once popular enough to compete with Forever 21 is now just a memory. 

In remembrance of Body Central, I've posted some pictures to represent my great styles that came from shopping there. 

Anhayla ~ Mary On Da Corner (Music)

The 20th of the month has gone by but you can still indulge while listening to Anhayla's new song Mary On Da Corner. 

Awkward #Poem #Poetry

Dedicated To The Past

This shit is just awkward

They call it a game so someone is meant to get played

But your name is still fresh on my mind

And every moment I try to be friendly

You pretend we were just a waste of your time

Even though I was the one who lost out on what could have been

You tell everyone I’m a stalker

All I did was click the like button on one of your IG pics

But you’re around your punk ass friends

So you want them to think I was a real Bitch

You didn’t follow through on any plans

No planned dates to any movies or restaurants

No picnics in the park

No romancing at all

Which is why I never told anyone we were going out

To them you were simply a friend

And you’re making me regret that

Shouldn’t have told anyone you existed at all

Badmouthing me in public when it was your ass begging for sex

Do they know you’re just another heaux

Thinking you’re being unique

But spitting the same lines as every other dude just to get to one thing

And do you realize once you’re done ditching every girl

It’ll be you that ends up lonely

“It’s okay. You don’t know no better. You’re better off being alone.”

Quote from a Jhene Aiko song 

#RBDivasLA Chante Moore "Baby Can I Touch Your Body"

Before the arguing on the reunion show of R&B Divas got too bad I noticed a new marketing technique to showcase the singers. It was directed more toward their music.

Last year in order to show(maybe prove) that the women could really sing, in between each segment there would be a woman doing a tune for a few seconds. This time there was no woman showing her vocal skills off. Instead there were advertisements for a song by each woman. Chante Moore went first.

Her song is called "Baby Can I Touch Your Body" and it's sexy as Hell. It makes me wish I had a man so we could do foreplay to this. Listen this the song below and make a baby if you have a man.

How Does A Black Woman Jump Into Dating Non-Black Men?

The following was influenced by Naturally Moi and MadameNoire. If you want to read the articles that tell us to date men of other races in order to increase our net worth, just click on the links.

Once upon a time I went on a date with a white guy. It was five years ago right before graduating from college. He showed up with flip flops on and took me to Subway. Yes, we left my place but he showed up to a date with flip flops on. Why could I see his feet on the date? I couldn't get that part off of my mind but there's more. 

Upon ordering my sandwich he revealed that he was a vegan and gave me a lesson on how eating meat is bad for you. This might sound terrible, but he really lost my attention at the flip flops. I was trying to be a good sport by following through but the lesson on eating meat was a bit too much. Even more, I paid for my own sandwich. We were in college so maybe paying for our own food was okay, but the rest was not. 

I struggle with dating men that are not Black. I struggle with listening to music that does not have Black people as the artists or isn't Hip Hop or rap music. My educational background involved me being surrounded by nothing but people that looked like me for so long that I now naturally gravitate to hanging out with people that look like me. However, these new articles are saying, "Open your eyes to something new." 

Remember that movie that Sanaa Lathan did almost a decade ago? It was called Something New and the whole focus was that she found love with a man that wasn't Black. These articles aren't exactly telling us to find love the way she did. They are telling us to date men that are not Black to increase our net worth. It's all about environmental growth, hitting the jackpot, getting more money in that bank account. 

There is one problem with this. I don't know how to meet men that don't have my skin color. They don't approach me and I tend to only give men that approach me a chance. The only reason I met the flip flop wearing white guy was because he was attending an HBCU. 

Do you have any tips on how a girl like me could broaden her dating horizons? Where do I meet the perfect White dude, or cute Hispanic? Where is the Chinese man with a big bank account and a love for Black women hanging out at? 

Marrying Men of Another Race Makes Us Black Women Better Off?

This was a requested post. I don't have much to say on this topic.

An article was recently published on Naturrally Moi stating that us Black women suffer economically because we are not marrying outside of our race. Is it just me or is that the stupidest statement you've ever heard? 

We already have the good hair problem. We've been told we don't look exotic enough, whatever that means. We have the light skin vs. dark skin debates that always pops up out of thin air. Okay, maybe those debates are triggered by something. We are constantly reminded we have to work 10 times harder than any other person just to be half as accomplished as everyone else. Now we have to marry men in other races in order to live a good lifestyle? 

You mean to tell me that in order to get my white picket fence (I don't want that), 2 story dream home, and some cute children I need to marry a white, Hispanic, Asian, and any other man of a different race other than my own. I can't do that with a Black man? 

The article doesn't totally go against Black men. It does state that some Black men do have college degrees, but it also reminds us we want men as accomplished as us and more of us Black women have degrees than the men we want to marry. It digs a little deeper to say that some of us Black women who do want to get married end up with men less accomplished and making less money than us. Well, damn. That one was a low blow. 

Now, I know the options for my future. What do you think? Would you start dating white men just because an article tells you Black men will have you living in poverty forever? 

Dej Loaf Aims For Sexiness In Me U Hennessy Video

Me U Hennessy has visuals of Dej Loaf looking the most feminine she's been since her career started.

We can probably all agree that when Loaf first came out she looked like a boy. She didn't give us tomboy either, just straight boy. However, since the success of her song Try Me, Loaf has started on a huge transition of appearing more feminine to the rest of us. While we've heard her on several remixes and duets with others, she's still dropping singles from her mixtape Sell Sole.

The latest single to have visuals is Me U Hennessy. The song is hot, which is why it was important for her to aim for sexiness in the video. Did she nail it? Watch below.

(Music) Tamia~ Sandwich and A Soda

"Let me love you. You looking tired of these basic lovers." Tamia is about to have every woman bringing her man a sandwich and a soda after some good sex.

After a long hiatus from the music industry, Tamia is back with a hit song called Sandwich and A Soda. The song is very sensual and sexy. I love these types of songs because they remind me of my feminine side and gives me motivation to treat a man special. Now let me go buy bread to be able to fix this sandwich. Listen to Sandwich and a Soda below.

Life Is But A Dream #Poetry

Life is but a dream

So I sleep and imagine it the way I want it to be

Can I have my perfect lifestyle?

Enough money in my paycheck to where I’m wanting for nothing

Bills paid, enough food in the kitchen, a road trip every now and then

Life tends to get stagnant really quick

But I don’t want to stand still

In my mind I pack up and go

Moving from city to city

Exploring each and every place

I’m looking for a reason to live

I’m searching for enjoyment and happiness

Friends can’t always be around

Families don’t always see what’s going on

Significant others aren’t meant for everyone

When awake I’m stressed and bored and lonely

The memories, the photographs

Even those begin to bore me

The time feels like it has stopped until I realize everyone else is still going

They’re getting married and having kids

They’re having the time of their lives, whether bad or good

More often than not I don’t think they know I exist

I’m struggling but I don’t want to be forgotten about

Often times we pay attention to the people who are successful. There are also so many of us still trying to figure everything out .

We All Wanted To Marry Someone As Kids

KeKe Palmer responded to rumors of her possibly having mushy eyes for Cory Hardrict. She doesn't.

Cory just happens to be married to Tia Mowry.  This all comes out after they and many others attended the Brotherly Love movie premiere recently. The rumor was actually started by Tia, who subtweeted saying it's not cute to crush on married men and then later deleted it. Now where did Tia get this idea from?

KeKe Palmer spoke to Wendy Williams and cleared everything up. In the interview KeKe stated that she wanted to marry Cory when she was 10 years old. At 21 years old she does not see anything attractive about a married man with kids.

Its crazy how words get misinterpreted. We all had a crush on someone as a kid. Despite his many bad boy images, Fredro Starr was one of my childhood crushes. According to google at the tender age of 43 he's still single. Who did you crush on?

Buggery~ The Newest Word To My Vocabulary

Buggery, according to the dictionary, is defined as either:

1. The criminal offense of anal or oral penetration of the male organ into the anus or mouth of another

2. The criminal offense of a person having sex with an animal, also known as bestiality

This new vocabulary word was discovered by doing what we Americans do most. That is reading. I was reading an article about an old man named Freddie James who was arrested for having sex with a dog. Now that old man is 79, so I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say he didn't know what he was doing. However, next door neighbors/owners of the dog thought otherwise.

These snitches called the police on the old guy. Sex with animals is supposed to be a laughable matter, but the police didn't seem to see the humor in it. James was arrested and charged with buggery. Buggery was written in the article, which made me wonder if the writer had spelled burglary wrong. Nope, the writer meant what was written.

If you didn't know before the criminal act of having sex with animals is called buggery. You can be arrested and put in jail for this crime. I'm not sure how I'll be able to use this new word that has found it's way into my mind, but it will get used again.

news story via WBTV

Kanye References Rihanna All Over New Song Possibly Written For Her To Record

There is one obvious fact in the music industry. King Kanye is ruling things. No matter what Hip Hop radio station we're listening to or what gossip show we're tuning into, Kanye is there. Maybe that's why the musical union between him and Rihanna is that much more awesome right now. 

Their combined sound became greater with the release of a new song called Mitus Touch. On the record Kanye is being cocky and referencing Rihanna every five seconds. He also throws out shady lyrics towards girls, which makes us think Rihanna will definitely record this and it will be on her upcoming album. 

The world can't wait to hear Rihanna's version of Mitus Touch. 

Nicki Minaj And Meek Mill Have A Wedding To Plan

The best kind of relationships are celebrity relationships. Most celebrities waste no time letting the world into every detail of their lives. Their love lives are no exception. The latest couple to keep us up to date on everything is Nicki Minaj and Meek Mill.

The two hooked up soon after she had left her ex Safaree Samuels and it appeared Meek was a rebound guy. Well, maybe he's not because he gave Nicki an engagement ring and she accepted. Nicki made the announcement over Instagram. Check out that ring.

In true celebrity fashion, the engagement ring is very unique. This is only the beginning of them keeping us afloat on their journey to the alter.

You Are The Father And More #BlackInkCrew Craziness

Only on a show called Black Ink would a man use his son to be vindictive against his baby mama. Then again, what else can you expect from a man who calls himself Oh Shit?

Let's all hope this was the season finale of Black Ink. Let's pray it was the final episode period. The people on this show are a higher breed of crazy. They are so crazy they don't even realize how far away from making sense they are. I wish all talent worked that way when it came to making money, or maybe not.

A whole lot happened on the season finale, but what stood out most for a woman like me was when Oh Shit was apologizing to one of his baby mamas for saying the kid wasn't his. "Billie Jean is not my lover. She's just a girl who says that I am the one. The kid is not my son." In this case, you are the father and the joke was not funny. Oh Shit wanted to be mean, but no one was laughing when that paternity test came back saying he is still the daddy and still responsible for his child.

If reality television wasn't an addiction, this would be the perfect time to quit watching. There's a little more. A client who decided to get a tattoo at the now famous tattoo shop has a horror story. Watch below.

Is Work More Important Than Health? #BloodSweatHeels

picture via Facebook

Daisy Lewellyn, of Blood Sweat and Heels, has cancer. This is a serious disease that no one under any circumstances takes as a game. However, as the 2nd episode from season 2 of BSH aired, Daisy seemed to not fully understand what she was going through. The doctor was telling her to stay in a clean environment and get rest. She was thinking about how she needed money to keep up her lifestyle. This means she was styling clients while also following the obligations of being on a reality television show. While following the obligations, Daisy was also going to doctor's appointments and fighting through the pain. So is work more important than health?

Some jobs in corporate America don't have sick days. Although a lot of people won't admit it, they are overworked and underpaid. People start coughing and continue to go to work in order to avoid missing days off. People develop health issues from stressing, but don't take out the time to rest until it is too late. I guess I could be one of those people. Money means a lot and we neglect ourselves for it.

However, should it be that way? Should we be focusing more on a healthy lifestyle or is money always the motive?

I Don't Do Empty Restaurants

My days off are used for getting out of the house most of the time. This means when I'm deep in the midst of working, I'm planning my activities for the days an alarm clock doesn't get set. Living in this big gigantic city often means there's always somewhere new to go, even if it's not exactly where the inner creative is craving to be. 

The inner creative is craving art exhibits, tons of poetry nights, a sexy man to stimulate my mind, and girls night out every once in a while. Until then, I'm doing what's easy to accomplish once the bills are paid. After paying bills, options of what I can spend my money on become slim. I used to club a lot, but that had to come to a halt as some of my bills increased. 

Clubbing is expensive after you make it a regular part of your routine. For me it was also slightly dangerous, because once I ran out of people to go with I started going by myself. Why wait for others to have fun? Since I stopped clubbing, I found something new to make a habit and it wouldn't leave me feeling guilty about how much money I was spending. That is going to restaurants. 

There are restaurants that open super early and close super early. There are some that open in the afternoon and close by 10 or 11 pm. There are also some that stay open until 2 am and I wish I would have never found out about them. It's so tempting to get up at midnight and eat out just because there is a place nearby that is open. Some of these restaurants are expensive and don't fit nicely into my budget. However, some are perfect for eating at. Whether they are the best or not, I enjoy going and getting in that new experience. 

Recently I was checking my emails and saw an advertisements for a drink that I should probably have friends with while drinking. I couldn't wait until I had an off day to run and try that drink. Although the advertisement was for a Sunday, I figured Saturday should be just as good. 

As I arrived to the restaurant there was something very noticeable in the parking lot. That is very few cars were around. I walked inside anyway and the place was empty, which the exception of the bartender and the owner. For a Saturday around 6 pm they were very comfortable without working. I wanted to immediately walk out, but I asked a few questions anyway. They had the drink, but in order to get it in the pretty glass like the flyer was showing, I had to come back on a Sunday. I don't know if I'll be going back there though. 

They seriously had no customers on a Saturday. I don't do empty restaurants. 

Tiara Thomas Sings About The Haters In "On Me"

Tiara Thomas is continuing to keep it real in her music. Her brand new song On Me is all about the jealous friends, or frienemies as we like to call them.

Tiara Thomas crept her way onto our playlists with her hit song Bad that Wale was a part of. Since then her music has only gotten better. On Me is especially great because it's so realistic. Most of us just want to solid group of friends that we can discuss various topics with, but the jealous girls always seem to creep their way in and try to ruin the mood.

Listen to On Me below.

Women, Friendships, and Pushing Each Other Away

Women have trouble getting along with each other. A few days ago several women and some men bonded together in a Facebook group over this issue. There were several separate posts where women ranted. Because of issues I've had, I even joined in and made a post of my own where people left their opinions.

My particular post was about women who have been close friends, but abruptly stopped responding to me. They didn't answer my calls or bother returning phone calls. After three tries, I get the message and back off. They didn't bother texting and after I stopped trying to reach out to them. The only connection we started to have was Facebook and other social media outlets. Some of those women will still click the like button on my posts or leave their own opinions when it's a general topic. It's odd because if they wanted to cut off all communication, why are they still paying attention to what I put on social media? One good answer was that I pissed them off but they still saw some good in me. As a woman who notices these issues, sometimes I can't help but wonder what I did wrong and why we as women struggle to connect with each other.

Why can we women never seem to get along? The older we get the more we find ourselves seeing only one or two other women as close.

We push each other away for men. Some women go as far as cutting all of their friends off the moment they get into a relationship. The downside of this is breaking up with that man and wanting to hang with those same people again.

We find the tiniest problem about another woman to explain why we shouldn't like her. If she always dresses a mess, she can't be a part of our crew. If she likes R. Kelly's music knowing about his past, something must be wrong with her. If she disagrees on a topic, we should stop liking her. I had an instance in college where I disagreed with a girl in a classroom discussion. She wasn't a friend and I eventually forgot about her. One summer afterward I was volunteering at a daycare center when that girl reappeared and made an allegation toward me. She accused me of saying bad things about her to her child. I had no idea who her child was, but I quit volunteering at that daycare center upon hearing that.

We create friction with false allegations against other women. I had a moment in time where a bunch of girls didn't like me. They happened to be roommates with a girl that I was good friends with. Our friendship ended because they were spreading false rumors and she started to believe those rumors even though she knew me. Months later after our anger toward each other had calmed down, she wanted to be cool again. This is where my issues of trust comes in with other women. After another woman has shown me how hateful she can be to me, I'm not going back to smiling in her face and being besties.

It's all odd because we want to see each other succeed. That's the main reason Black Girls Rock was created. There needed to be a spotlight on successful Black women and girls. Now, if only we can create the spotlight where us women can work toward meaningful friendships that involve more than two women we can trust. At the end of the day when that boyfriend becomes an ex-boyfriend or we need a break from the relationship and kids, we are all we have. However, we don't even have each other if we're constantly trying to make our circles smaller.

Destiny by Tina Campbell (Mary Mary)

Over the past two years we witnessed Tina Campbell from the Gospel group Mary Mary struggle through some serious pain. Somehow her husband managed to cheat on her with many different women over the course of several years without it ever leaking out to the public. That's how blessed their family is. However, upon finding out Tina did a lot of destructive stuff while cameras were rolling before she could reach a point of healing. 

Now that she has healed, she's following in the direction of her sister Erica and giving us brand new music as an independent artist. She had been speaking of new music and an upcoming book on the show. Her new song is called Destiny and it will send chills up your spine while making you believe in the power of God even more. 

Untitled (I Promise It'll Be Fun) #Poetry

I'm working towards creating some real love poems. 

Kevin McCall~ Very Special Hennessy (Music)

It might just be all about that Hennessy in 2015.

Kevin McCall recently released a brand new song, Very Special Hennessy, which is a remix to Dej Loaf's 2014 song You Me Hennessy. He also samples R. Kelly to drive the point of the song on home. I feel drunk for sex just listening to these songs.

picture via hennessy.com 

He Just Wanted To Have Phone Sex

It all started with a Facebook group they both happened to be in. This group was always filled with messiness. From ratchet photos and videos to people calling each other out, there was no predicting what would happen. One noticeable part was this particular guy always stuck to putting up a creative story in the group. He was never apart of the mess. The woman, however, wasn't afraid to get dirt under her nails.

We'll call this guy "The Writer." The Writer was invited to the group for new ideas with his creative skills. He also thought he might gain a new audience to tell stories to, whether real or made up. However, The Writer still behaved as a man when seeing all the women in the group. If a woman intrigued him, he wasn't afraid to click the request button to check her profile out. Upon acceptance, he wasn't afraid to chat either.

Some women put their guard up when they receive that message from a man they don't know, but this woman did not. We'll call her "The Crazy One." Everyone knows men love them some crazy women. The Crazy One was quick to accept The Writer's Facebook request and even quicker to respond to his message. He told her upfront that he wasn't shit. She told him upfront that she caught feelings easily, even if they were for ain't shit men. Eventually they exchanged phone numbers. They talked a lot and had phone sex. They exchanged naked pictures to increase their sexual desire for one another. They also made plans to meet up, but that never happened.

Without having ever met in person The Crazy One became clingy to the Writer. The Writer became a weird man who played the same games as all the other lames to The Crazy One. No one would have known about all of this occurring, but The Writer did what he does best. In this particular Facebook group he posted his side of the story. He didn't reference who he was talking to or if she was in the group. The group has over 200 people in it, but that did not stop The Crazy One from peeping it and telling her own side in the comments.

After she came out of nowhere to post her side, the real fun began. They dissed each other to the fullest exist. The Crazy One even went as far as bringing The Writer's divorce from his ex-wife into the situation. Everyone knows he was married to a woman he has kids with, but they are no longer together. No one, including The Crazy One, knows what went wrong in his marriage. However, she was determined to come out looking better than him under this post about herself.

The moral of this whole story is don't catch feelings for someone you've never met.