Tuesday, December 31, 2013

What "I Woke Up Like This" Really Means

When Beyonce says "I Woke Up Like This" it has nothing to do with makeup, good hair, having those nails done, or those feet looking pretty. It has nothing to do with the clothes we women wear or the lack of clothes we wear. She is not talking about what a woman's physical appearance at all.

In the songs "Flawless" Beyonce references so many things that we women use to call ourselves whole. She speaks on being Jay-Z's wife. There's a part where she shows off her wedding ring. She speaks on being in the game forever, which she has been. She talks about how when we were growing up we wanted to be her, which most of us did. I'm from that H-Town, so she has always been one of my musical idols.

There's so much in the song "Flawless" that describes what "I Woke Up Like This" means. There is the  dialogue from Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche. We women are told to rule the world, but then the world tries to place us in a box. It's a constant battle to not get caught up in an image that someone else wants to create for us.

Basically "I Woke Up Like This" references the confidence that we women have. It references how we overcome our daily struggles. Whether those struggles are proving ourselves in a work environment or living through the pain of being on our periods, we manage. Although we don't wake up every day in the same mood. Sometimes we're happy and sometimes we're the meanest creatures on earth.

I've seen this phrase used to bash women everywhere. Men have been using it a lot to fulfill their hurtful quota of the day on twitter. Stop it if you're one of those doing it. Allow a woman something to make her feel like the woman she is.

I woke up like this. I'm not referring to the drool that may be sliding out of my mouth or the crust in my eyes. It's my confidence that matters. While you're trying to figure out what to leave in 2013, definitely take this with you. Carry into 2014 the mentality that you woke up being the confident woman you are.

"We teach girls to shrink themselves 
To make themselves smaller 
We say to girls 
"You can have ambition 
But not too much 
You should aim to be successful 
But not too successful 
Otherwise you will threaten the man" 
Because I am female 
I am expected to aspire to marriage 
I am expected to make my life choices 
Always keeping in mind that 
Marriage is the most important 
Now marriage can be a source of 
Joy and love and mutual support 
But why do we teach to aspire to marriage 
And we don't teach boys the same? 
We raise girls to each other as competitors 
Not for jokes (?) or for accomplishments 
But for the attention of men 
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings 
In the way that boys are 
Feminist - the person who believes in the social 
Political, and economic equality of the sexes"

Being Mary Jane Meets Gabrielle Union, Sandrina Schultz Plays The Side Chick

In a week Gabrielle Union will be the side chick to a fine ass man in the new BET series "Being Mary Jane." I've been anticipating this show coming back. Her character, Mary Jane, plays a hardworking journalist without any type of love life. To cope, she has casual sex with a married man and the man's wife knows about it. However, in reality Gabby is the faithful woman and Sandrina Schultz is taking the side chick role. You may be wondering who Sandrina is.

In the past 24 hours news broke out that Dwayne Wade has a new child. That child is not by Gabby though. Instead it is Sandrina's. The story is D. Wade and Gabby split up for a short period. During that time he was free to see whoever he wanted. In being free he didn't even consider wearing condoms. You'd think a millionaire would strap up with all the gold diggers chasing after him. D. Wade doesn't though and Sandrina became a lucky mom from it. Come to think of it, I would have kept the baby too.  No birth control. No pulling out.

There's more. Supposedly Sandy and Wade have known each other for a while and he's financed her for some time. He's not the only one she's profiting off of. Good gold diggers have several different business ventures. Another one of her men has been Lamar Odom. In early 2013 Sandy received her first 15 minutes of fame by being Lamar's mistress and discussing his drug habits with news outlets.

It looks like gold diggers are winning big time. Just recently Evelyn Lozada did announce she is having a baby and engaged to a man worth $75 million. This is Evelyn's third time receiving an engagement ring. If they make it to the alter, it'll be her second marriage. Then there is Karrine Steffans, who is still profiting off of her book "Diary of a Video Vixen" and has her own publishing company. Both of these women have been with quite a few celebrities, so Sandrina will be getting passed around.

Sandrina will have more cash flowing in from other men. D. Wade isn't the last. Gabby is not about to give him up. They're just both stuck with her for a long time.

Monday, December 30, 2013

Karrine Steffans, The Author and Relationship Expert

Karrine Steffans, also known as Superhead, has lived a life most people only read about. However, don't give her the title of model or video vixen. In her latest interview with 106KMEL, Karrine talks about how she's much more than music videos and pictures. "None of those things ever defined me." However, being an author and business woman definitely defines her.

"I've been writing books since I was five. So I've always been an author. You just didn't know it until 2005. It wasn't a big jump for me because I was always in that space. Everyone else had to jump."

Have you ever heard a little kid that just knows what their gift to the world is at an early age? As they grow up, they hold onto that mentality and work on their craft. Karrine is one of those people. She always knew what she was going to do with her life. How her success was going to come about may have been the mystery when she was little, but it's a reality now. She's not just an author now. She also owns her own publishing company.

In the interview Karrine also speaks about her relationship with Lil Wayne, how he inspired her last book How To Make Love To A Martian, not having African American struggles, and giving out relationship advice. The part about Lil Wayne not being the one for her is very surprising. In 2012 he did a good job of rapping about her without actually bringing up her name.

I have to buy at least The Vixen Manual. I was in Barnes & Nobles one day in the erotic book section. That and another book by Karrine Steffans stared me in the face. I picked it up, but for some reason just holding the book made me blush. Maybe now I can go back and buy it. If you look pass the negative aspects of her life story, she's a powerful woman. The following song is one of those where Lil Wayne was obviously talking about Karrine.

#ThickerThanWater The Message Behind Thicker Than Water

Brooklyn Tankard, the daughter of Ben and Jewel Tankard, is a name that Bravo has made sure to embed in our minds. In fact, her hustle game is so thorough that she could be eligible for a spin-off show. I'd rather see Brooklyn than the rest of the cast.

Initially what we knew about Brooklyn was that she's the oldest of her siblings, came from a single parent household, became a mother at the age of 14, and started hustling at an early age. Her hustle skills birthed the Kitty Kabin lounge, an illegal strip club, that lasted for a couple years. It ended when she was arrested on the night of her 21st birthday. Afterward, her (at the time) estranged father decided to move her and her daughter into his house. Now while living under her parents roof, she is also trying to build a lucrative hair business. From watching the show you can tell Ben and Jewel do not mind all of their children under one roof no matter how old they are or who they are married to.

On the show Brooklyn is trying to prove to her parents and siblings that she is responsible. From the very first episode they start pointing out her past issues. They want her to do better, but it is obvious they don't trust her judgement. It gets real serious when Ben and Jewel pull her to the side and talk about possibly adopting her child. The conversation comes from when the financial manager for Brooklyn calls Jewel and says Brooklyn has been drinking. While it is none of her parents business, they feel the need to get involved. This is probably why her hair show in this latest episode turned out so well.

Did you ever think you would hear "twerk that" on a show about Gospel people? Although Ben is a preacher and became rich from the gospel industry, Brooklyn's music is up-to-date with whatever is on the radio and her hair styles were good enough to make people watch. She surprised everyone. This was not the girl we saw in episode one.

Every reality show has that one cast member who needs to be heard most. "Thicker Than Water" was all about Brooklyn showing that she had grown away from her once self-destructive ways. If you were impressed by the hair, you can purchase the virgin hair at her website, www.brooklyntankard.com.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Some Poems I Wrote In 2013 (#SundayReflections) And Their Meanings

This year was a very creative year for me in writing. This blog post will actually make this 358th one written in 2013 and I'm dedicating it to the many poems I wrote during the year. These are my creations from July to this month and the meanings behind them. If you haven't read any or some of them, take the time to browse.

No Angel
This was inspired by Beyonce's song off of her self titled album.

Freakin' You
I started writing this poem after listening to the classic Jodeci song with the same title.

This was written after a Facebook conversation with a guy. The words that he was saying more than likely don't match up to the meaning of the poem, but the poem has been the definition of my of love so far. Although I don't give every single man a chance, somehow they manage to label me crazy because of their own insecurities.

Like A Researcher
First Sage The Gemini came out with his hit song "Red Nose" and then Plies remixed it. Plies called his version "Picasso" because he's painting her. After listening to both versions I came up with "Like A Researcher" because that's what a girl like me does.

Success Doesn't Want You And Me
I've come to the conclusion that while I'll always have some sort of an audience, it'll be the others succeeding more. Writers aren't really meant to succeed. We're meant to document the success of others while having a little fun on the side.

Breakfast Can Wait
Prince came out with a new song this year titled "Breakfast Can Wait," so I decided to write my own version of it in a poem.

Out of It 
This poem was featured of Slaiir Zonee, a website run by a very talented writer named Shaneice. She'll feature anyone that is willing to write and is very good at it. My poem, Out of It, derived from the song by B.o.B and Nicki Minaj. I wanted to write it a year ago but the inspiration wasn't there then.

Tamar Braxton has this beautiful song Pieces on her album. Upon hearing it for the first time I knew I had to write my own version. It was how I was feeling in the moment about the way these men continually push sex without adding much else to my life. I know I'm worth more than what some of these men want from me.

Envisions of A Driver
This came from Ace Hood and Chris Brown's song "Rider." They were actually saying ambitions, but you get the point. In the song Ace Hood is asking the woman how far she would go to be with him, so in my poem I'm laying down my requests.

If I Was
There's this beautiful song by singer Ayo called "Down On My Knees." She's explaining how greater she is than the woman he has left her for. Although I'm probably greater, I'm not the begging type. I'm the type that'll thirst over pictures of men around the web, in the club, or across the room at a nice restaurant. I love eye candy until that one man catches my attention and has me thirsting for him only.

Love of My Life
This poem was simply about the love of my life that I haven't met yet. Every once in a while I write one of these to keep hope alive.

First Love
This one is about how I thought I had experienced my first love, but it hasn't happened yet.

Half On A Baby
This is inspired by R. Kelly.

The next few are a series of poems I wrote about adoption. No, I've never done it.
Baby Cravings
Someone's Child

Feministic Submission
This was a poem I wrote using Beyonce songs in the middle of the year. You know how they recently had a big discussion on her being a feminist? Well, I used the label for my poem a couple months ago. Of course I incorporated a little bit of Rihanna in it too. There are really a lot of women singers that have feminist lyrics.


Thursday, December 26, 2013

The Comfort Bills (Payments) Offer

Cell Phone Bill. Internet Bill. Renters Insurance. Rent. Electricity Bill. Water Bill. Car Note. Car Insurance. Restaurant Bill. Grocery Store Charges. Charges for Putting Gas In The Car. Credit Cards. One Day We Upgrade. House Mortgage. Property Bills. Homeowners Insurance. The "I Owe You" bill. And it continues to go on.

Bills offer you this comfort that no one and nothing else can ever offer. It's that comfort of knowing they'll always be around. Significant others break up with you or (if they want to) divorce you. Parents avoid or you find ways to avoid them. Siblings create lives for themselves that don't involve you. Children are meant to be raised until they can leave you and take care of themselves. But those Gotdamn bills stay around forever.

The annoying part of bills is they suck every bit of money out of your bank account. See, I have automatic payments set up to make sure I don't forget to pay anything. So month after month when I know a charge is due I patiently wait for the day that bill taps me on the shoulder and gives me this slight loving kiss as it drains every penny away from me.

It's sort of like that first man you have the best sex ever with. While the sex is good, something else about him is extremely annoying. You can't put your hands on it, but you also can't reject him when he comes around again. The difference between his bomb ass sex and bills is sometimes a man actually leaves and never returns. Once you start paying bills, there's no stopping. If you get another job those bills follow you. If you quit your job the bills pile up. If you happen to get married, you can split the bills with your significant other. You get the point.

You just have to love the bills like the babies that you birth, because they're a part of you forever.

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

(Photos) Kim Kardashian's Naughty or Nice Christmas Party

Kim Kardashian and the rest of her people brought in Christmas with their annual Christmas Party. The theme was "Naughty or Nice." However, before partying Kim K. showed love to the Los Angeles Children's hospital just to say she respects what the hospital staff does. That was the niceness that came before whatever naughtiness happened during the night. The photos are innocent though. Check them out below. 

Photos via Instagram 

Monday, December 23, 2013

Raheem Devaughn Oozes Sex In Pink Crush Velvet Music Video

Watch Out R. Kelly. Raheem Devaughn is oozing sex in his new music video for the song 'Pink Crush Velvet.' 

'Pink Crush Velvet' is off of his fourth album "A Place Called Loveland." Raheem Devaughn is not playing any games in this music video. He sing in front of the piano, in between some video vixen's legs, and while blindfolded. He also has a solo dance session. Look the room just got a little hotter after viewing this video. Too bad I'm single. Check it out for yourself. 

Understanding The Value of Being One-Deep

Going into 2014 I'm no longer going to extend any invitations to hang out. None at all. However, if anyone wants to hang out they are welcome to invite me out. If I'm available I'm always willing to have some fun. However, I'm just not going out of my way to invite people out just for them to find excuses to say no.

During the latest episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta I became real annoyed with those women. While their fighting was entertaining, their fake friendships were real irritating. Of all the women Kandi, Cynthia, and Phaedra might be the only friends on the show. Porsha is oblivious to what everyone else thinks about her. Kenya and NeNe clearly don't want friends. However, they are co-workers. Each woman on the show is being handed a paycheck to act the way they do.

While the RHOA women are getting paid, I'm not. It's taken a while, but I can say some of my best experiences have been times when I was by myself. Some of the experiences that I cherish that most with others have happened with friends that I still speak to on the regular. Even with living far apart, they haven't forgotten about me.

With the exception of going to Hawaii, most of my experiences in the past couple years have been one-deep. It was slightly awkward at first, but I'm definitely loving that alone time now. I'm loving the planned vacations (minus figuring out the money part), sitting in the restaurants with just headphones to keep me company, and movie trips where I don't have to worry about anyone judging my reactions to the story lines.

This Wednesday will be my 3rd Christmas in a row being alone. It's not bad at all though. Christmas is for the kids.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

I Owe Me Some Accomplishments (Sunday Reflections)

I owe me some accomplishments. They say life is a game, but some of the things that have happened to me aren't even funny. I deserve to live better and to be less stressed.

It's 4 am in the morning. I've sat here for about 20 minutes writing and deleting every single word. The more I try to follow the yellow brick road to greatness, the more it starts to turn into that horrible horror movie that was made years ago. Did you see it? It was about a group of people determined to find out what happened to a town of people that just up and disappeared decades before. However, they experienced everything except the solving of the mystery. Those people went through Hell and then all of them died in some crazy way. I don't want life to take me through Hell just to have absolutely no positive results by the end.

The other day I wrote out all of the big goals I've ever had. These are all goals that (if followed through) would give me some kind of peace. They would add some kind of completeness to my existence.

Although I've always had a million different plans floating around in my head, 2013 was supposed to be the year of living in the moment. I think I did a pretty good job. However, it's time to figure out how to live in the moment while accomplishing what needs to happen for a better life. After all how can I handle more bills, a possible (renewed) dating life, and a social life if I can't make any progress? I owe me some accomplishments.

Friday, December 20, 2013

All The Goals Throughout The Years

I remember every goal I've ever had.

In second grade the teacher allowed us to laminate books that we had created ourselves. The story was titled "If I Could Fly." It consisted of a beginning and an end to the story. There were also pictures I drew myself. That was when I decided I wanted to become a writer when I grew up.

At 10 I wanted to become a singer. The idea came to mind during an episode of Moesha. Back then I didn't see Brandy's acting as an actual job. It was her singing that was very impressive and inspiring. I wanted to grow up to be a singer just like her. There was one problem. Dream Killers. Someone telling you that you aren't good at something at the age of 10 kills your goal of doing it quickly.

At the age of 12 or 13 I wanted to become a lawyer. There was a trip that a bunch of us took in the 7th grade. We were supposed to be going to a court, but it was just a basketball court. However, what was presented to us were ideas of the law. We learned how fascinated working in law is and I was inspired. The problem is I was going through a very awkward stage at the time. I quit every extracurricular activity I was involved in and started spending a lot more time alone when not in school or church. When trying to learn about a career in law you have to speak up. I didn't want to do much talking around that time. The idea soon died.

At the same time I also became fascinated with art. During my 7th grade year I took an art class. My parents were furious. You know how some people mean well, but come off real mean? I had already signed up for the class and was determined to go through with it. I wanted to draw and paint the world. I wanted to draw and paint everything that came to mind. I wanted to be creative. I did all that and more in the class. I sucked at drawing and painting, but the memories of trying are still amazing. Maybe one day I'll try again.

I wanted to become a counselor. Sometime between the 9th grade and the 10th grade my best friend became my worse enemy. Some memories can be easily laughed at years later, but there is still nothing funny about that whole situation. Indirect threats on my life and others lives were made. It was brought to the attention of the school counselor, but she never did anything. I was only a teenager with no one I could call a real friend. I also didn't know how to handle that situation. There were games played on my phone by her and her friends. There was the indirect threat no one did anything about. She eventually disappeared and then two years later popped up in a class I had. During that class she actually cut herself to get attention from me. All of that shit made me consider being a counselor. Someone needs to be able to handle the crazy ass people. During college I actually minored in psychology. I took enough courses to where I could possibly get into grad school for psychology if I applied. I didn't want to go to grad school.

My major in college was broadcast journalism. However, my passion has been to learn every aspect of writing, editing, production, and anything else tagged to the bigger picture to see where I fit in. Well, it's not just about fitting in anymore. It's about success and happiness.

These are just the big goals I've made. There are plenty little ones hiding behind locked doors within my heart just waiting for their opportunity to step in the light. There are also little goals that locked themselves away to never see any signs of hope again.

Can you remember every big goal you've ever made?

Thursday, December 19, 2013

No Angel (My Poem)

No Angel

"Baby put your arms around me,
Tell me I'm a problem"
You knew it from the moment that you met me
I'm not your average lady
I'm not playing around
You're going to spend some money
Dinner, Movies, Be Creative
Put in work to impress me
And you'll have to speak up too
Whatever it is that you want
Whatever it is I'll do
And don't play scared
Cause baby I can tell
You're no Angel either
In between these lines
You'll meet a complicated woman
Sometimes Quiet
Sometimes like one of the homeboys
Sometimes surprisingly seductive
I can show better than I can tell
Your ego won't expect it
Treat me right
I'll go crazy for you

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Lupe Fiasco~ Old School Love (Official Video)

When Beyonce dropped her self titled album last Thursday, Lupe Fiasco made sure to let everyone know that he has an album coming out too. The album, Tetsuo and Youth, will be dropping sometime next year. However, Lupe does have new visuals to his single "Old School Love."

"Old School Love" is one of those songs that forces you all the way down memory lane. Check out the video below.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Money, Power, Obliviousness #ThickerThanWater

Money. Jewel Tankard is a millionairess. Throughout the season of "Thicker Than Water" Jewel has shown us that she lives life big. She has billionairess confessions to keep her soaring higher. She's the first lady of her husband's church. She also hosts classes to teach women to be as financially wealthy as she is. However, Mrs. Tankard doesn't even know how much the average household income is.

Power. In the last episode of "Thicker Than Water" she invited Kandi Burruss to one of her class. What's better than two millionaires educating women on how to be like them? During the sessions Jewel decided to tell the women how much the average household is making. Her answer was $100,000 but Kandi quickly corrected her and said it is much lower. I looked up the average household income for the city of Houston. It's approximately $55,000.

Jewel was so oblivious. I think because she's so wealthy she assumed everyone else isn't too far behind her. Her family's current net worth is $5 million. However, I'm assuming there's a lesson in this. Often times when trying to get ahead we're reminded that there are people doing much worse than us. Maybe instead of thinking about how we could be doing worse, we should be thinking that everyone else is not too far behind. Maybe by thinking everyone else is on our level it motivates us to get much farther ahead.

Obliviousness. That's a new years resolution I can start right away. I'm going to pretend you and everyone else is on my level and then try to advance from there. You do it too and let me know how it works out.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Beyonce Drops New Self Titled Album + Why She's A Legend

The papparrazzi is slacking. Someone should have secretly caught Beyonce in the studio this year recording new music. The music leakers must have been sleeping. Usually music gets leaked before it's for sale. However, overnight everyone was blindsided Bey's new self titled album.
While we were discussing her very expensive worldwide tour and lack of new music making, Beyonce surprised us all and dropped a bunch of new songs. It's 14 singles and 17 videos. These songs aren't all about women in power or celebrating single womanhood. It's all about the sexiness that goes down between soul-mates. It makes me wish I had a boo for cuffing season. 
Most of the time when artists unexpected surprise us with work, what they did sucks. However, Beyonce is going to be the only artist I hear for the next couple months. This is the Christmas present we were all looking forward to. 

List of Songs
Pretty Hurts & video
Haunted & video
Drunk In Love &video
Blow & video
No Angel (My Favorite) & video
Partition & video
Jealous & video
Mine & video
XO & video
Flawless & video
Superpower & video
Heaven & video
Blue & video
Ghost (Video)
Grown Woman (Video)
Yonce (Video)

This has to be the best year in music in a long time. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Levina Lye "Fade Away" Music Video and What Inspires Her

22 year old Levina Lye is here to help you "Fade Away" and feel good about it. That is fade away to some good music at the moment. We all need to get away at some point.

"It numbs the brain, drowns out the bullshit that lives in my brain. Keeps me from going completely insane."

A few months back Levina Lye told www.icanrepeatit.com what inspires her to do music. She said, "My inspiration comes from life. Being hurt, being happy, being sad, it comes from all of that. I just build off of my emotions and convey them very strongly in my music." Check out the full interview here

We all need to escape from our environment at some point. Whether it's through smoking, lovemaking, or precious time alone, it is needed. However, music makes the escape even better. I think "Fade Away," Levina's first single from her upcoming EP "Pieces of Me," expresses her emotions very well. It also helps us to connect. Listen and watch the music video for "Fade Away" below. 

Blog Lovin (Follow Me If You're There)

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Wednesday, December 11, 2013

His Sexual Objectification (Sort of Explicit)

This is loosely based off stories some guy tells me.

He's every woman's sex object. From his smooth brown skin to the dick that refuses to stay in his pants, every woman that crosses his paths begs for a piece of him. The idea of passing him up is irresistible and he is willing to give as much as any woman requests. In the blink of an eye he went from being an innocent boy to a man having more sexual experiences than most. At the tender age of 30 it both excites and haunts him.

How many men can say they hooked up with their girlfriend and her mom? He didn't want to do it, but the mom kept coming on to him. His flesh became weak, but the experience was enjoyable. 

There were also the aunts of a girl he liked. While he and the girl were dating, the aunts took every opportunity to make a move on him when no one was around. Finally one day it worked. While they didn't have full blown sex, each woman took turns pleasing him orally. They gave him head until their mouths started to hurt. While doing it, each woman videotaped the other woman so they could watch themselves over and over again. 

How many men can say they were secretly videotaped having sex? He didn't know the videotape existed until the girl showed it to her whole family. The other women taunted him with their sexual fantasies. He fought hard to move past it, but then he watched the whole hour and a half for himself. It made him feel like the female Kim Kardashian, except with skills. He then wanted to show others, because it was worth being proud of. 

He tried to stop, because there's more to love than sex. He tried searching near and far for the woman of his dreams. Whether it was the grocery store down the street, a road trip across the country, or online he started up intellectual conversations with many woman. Somehow they all seemed to go back to sex. One in particular was a girl he'd known a long time. They'd known each other so long that they called each other best friends. Upon initially getting to know her as more than friends, it was love at first sight. They liked the same hobbies, both were into the same kinds of movies, and they already knew each other's families. However, the closer they got the more sexual the relationship started to get. He was trying to venture from the route, but he'd wake up at times with her holding his dick. They were only supposed to be cuddling. It had to eventually end. 

As much as he wants intellectual conversation, sex always seems to become the popular topic. Whether hanging with friends or at work, someone brings it up. If it's not him it is the women around him. They want him and most of the time he is confident him giving the women what they want. It's his life. They objectify him and he can't help but like it. 

The "Cookie Monster" (R. Kelly) Has New Music Video

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Angel Haze~ Werkin Girls

In case you haven't heard "Werkin Girls," one of the songs played in the latest episode of Love and Hip Hop New York, here you go. It's by rapper Angel Haze and her style is definitely unique.

#LHHNY A Couple Thoughts On Love & Hip Hop New York

How can you continue to believe in love when you watch a reality television show that continually destroys the image of what love is supposed to be? I'm pretty sure just like me, you were tuned into the latest episode of "Love and Hip Hop New York." It was respectively titled "Messy All Over The World." Below are a couple reasons why.

Erica Jean and Saigon
Previously Saigon called Erica Jean every name in the book, because he couldn't articulate that their son was having learning issues. This episode started off with an apology. Saigon regained self control and said how sorry he is. Apparently his father was always yelling at his mother during his childhood. He doesn't want to see his children go through the same drama. Well, that is definitely positive.

Yandy Smith
Years ago I wanted to stand up for Yandy. Remember the days where she was Jim Jones manager and Chrissy hated every single thing about her? I didn't see the issues that Chrissy saw. Now it's apparent. Yandy may be a powerful woman, but she has some issues with minding her own business. In fact she has issues within her own business, both personal and professional.

Throughout this current season Yandy wants us to believe that Mendeecees should be home raising his family. The problem is he sold drugs in the worst of all places in the United States. In New York they lock you under the prison and forget about you. That's probably why after all this time he still hasn't had a bail hearing.

K. Michelle
That's my alumnus. You know about Florida A&M University. They say we're cocky, but some of what she said was borderline crazy. Demons in the place of residence? We'll leave it at that since she doesn't like bloggers anyway. Oh, one more thing. K. Michelle looks better with less makeup.

Peter, Amina, and Tara
If that is what love in 2013 and beyond looks like, y'all can have it.

What Wakes You Up Everyday?

Or better yet why do you go to work? Who are you there for? What does it do for you? Is that your final destination? What about your hobbies? Why do you call the fun things fun? Why do you go home at the end of every day? Is home the last place you want to be when you close your eyes at night? Maybe you have thoughts of moving somewhere else one day, eventually getting a better job, or maybe you're just content with where you are at.

A couple of months ago, a woman I follow on twitter asked if she had any business owners following her. There was silence in the twitter atmosphere. No one responded. The twitter trolls ignored it. Not even a single spammer came out of hiding. However, since I saw it and I consider myself an entrepreneur-in-training, I did respond. I responded by trying to help her find these business owners, or even trying to find people who eventually want to be business owners.

I feel like unless you are viewing this blog for the first time you should know my professional heart. As you make plans for the future, do you ever wonder what is motivating the people around you? I wonder about you.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Does Size Matter? (I'm Talking About Weight)

The delicious bread stared at me. The butter that was conveniently brought out with it begged to be spread all over. As I sat at a table in the middle of Pappadeaux all alone waiting on my meal, I ate as much bread as my belly could take before the real food came out.

Some people go crazy for Red Lobster biscuits. Those aren't my preference. Others love the bread at The Cheesecake Factory. I'd love that, but they like to mix up different types of bread in the basket. Sometimes they act as if the bread isn't free and make you ask for it. It pisses me off, but I've never had that problem with Pappadeux. In fact I've eaten there so many times by myself, that it has become easy to eat all the bread they bring out. I mean every last crumb. However, after eating all this bread one thing comes to mind. Weight.

Yesterday after leaving the restaurant I was feeling extra fat. To others around, it may not have looked like it but my tummy had a bulge. Most women would cringe at this, but I appreciated it. As much as I love my size, gaining a few pounds has always been a fantasy. Some of that fantasy may have derived from talking of twerking (with the exception of Miley Cyrus those twerk girls are never skinny), men saying they like their women thick, big women taking over the spotlight, and always hearing that I didn't eat enough growing up. Plus, a lot of people know that one of my favoritest songs from college years is "Do The Thick Girl." There's a line in the song that goes "These niggas don't give a fuck. They just wanna nut." The problem with the song is when I first started loving it, there were people reminding me that I'm not thick at all.

There were men reminding me that I'm not thick at all. In fact some of the men that claim they love their women with big asses and lots of meat on their bones, will try to flirt with me now. It's confusing. After seeing all of their RT's and Facebook posts of these women that are big in all places they claim to love, they'll try to speak to me. Clearly I'm small in person and on my pictures, which makes me wonder one question. Does size really matter? At least does size matter to the men? 

I do love my size by the way. If I was a little bit taller, Victoria's Secret would want me modeling for them. 

Friday, December 6, 2013

R. Kelly Talks Black Panties and More with Jimmy Kimmel

Does Robert Kelly know that his whole deluxe version of his cd has leaked for all of us to hear? Either way, it doesn't matter. After hearing him talk to Jimmy Kimmel it'll make you anticipate buying the album even more.

Recently R. Kelly sat down with Jimmy Kimmel to promote his album and discuss inspiration behind it. The inspiration came from all the panties flying on the stage during his last concert. One pair of panties landed on his microphone and it was a sign from God. Kelly also discussed writing a "Black Panties" book, flying, and more. Check it out below. 

Water~ Surreall Featuring Fat Pimp

"Bad Bitches get chose." I've heard this song a couple of times and after each listens it grows on me a little more.

Some of The Best Advice From Blogs Lately

I've been reading a lot. Well, after picking up my very first book way back when I just never got tired of the art known as new creation. Creation comes in all forms, but lately my favorite type has been blogging. It's not my own posts though. It's the posts of others and they have a lot of knowledge to offer. The following are a few thoughts I have after reading a couple of blogs. Once you finish this, make sure you support them.

"I'm Not Ready For a Relationship." Ty over at Twenties Unscripted touched on this subject. That phrase has to be the most annoying thing to ever escape a man's mouth. The reality is none of us are ever ready for a relationship. As kid we're not ready for that first day of school. I was for was not ready for that first time my period came on. We're not ready to get away from our parents and journey into the real world at 18. We're not ready for all the bills that come flying at us as adults. However, all of it is what we want. We want the responsibilities, the adventures, the ability to control our own household, a house that is eventually filled with more than one person. We want all that we're not ready for. However, if a man tells you he's not ready for a relationship believe him and leave him alone. No matter how much someone says they want something, you can't force them to actually take the risk of going after it if they really don't want to purse it in that moment.

"The Audacity of Hope." Brenda over at Cake and Eggs wrote a piece on this. "Who are we to hope for love, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and live in a world where we are judged on our character before our skin color?" I remember a time where every goal fell out of my mouth created a laugh from others. Some of those laughing were family members and others were friends. The only time I was really joking was when I talked about dropping out of school to become a prostitute. Prostitutes actually make a lot of money though. Those laughs have phased me. They've created this fear that involves being laughed at about every single thought I have. How can I succeed when I'm always afraid they'll laugh at me, when I'm afraid they'll never believe in me? I'm trying to shake the feeling. Back when Elle Varner came out with her song "Refill" I decided that I needed to develop a "This glass needs a refill" attitude. Basically I'm trying to stick what comes into my mind regardless of what anyone else thinks. It's a work-in-progress.

"The Single Girls Guide To Surviving Cuffing Season." This one is from RomanticlyRo. Judging the by list of ideas that us single ladies can pull off during this cuffing season, it looks as if I'm living life right. I don't like meeting men during the winter time anyway. They are usually the ones that quickly say "I'm not ready for a relationship." I'd rather meet a man standing outside with his white t-shirt sticking to his chiseled chest after a nice work-out.

What have you been reading lately?

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

The R. Kelly Phone Messages #BlackPantiesHotline

"What up, this your boy Kells. Who's ready for the Black panties to drop?"

A few days ago R. Kelly started a "Black Panties" hotline to promote his upcoming album. Upon calling the hotline number, you are signed up to receive a set of eight phone messages from him. Actually, there are eight texts telling you to call a number and you hear his voice. Yesterday I received the first text message and the above quote is what I heard. It was that and "Cookie" playing in the background. Basically the calls are not saying much at all, but the album has leaked. If you haven't already heard it, listen below.

My Favorite Things~ Mary J. Blige Remakes The Classic Christmas Song

Everyone has heard the song "My Favorite Things." As far as music goes, it's one of the greatest reminders that Christmas is here. Originally done for the Rodgers and Hammerstein 1959 musical "The Sound of Music," it has been sang by many artists throughout the decades. The latest singer to put her special touch on "My Favorite Things" is Mary J. Blige. Check her out singing it in the video below.

Some other artists that have also sang it are below. 
Julie Andrews 

The Whispers

Luther Vandross 

Anita Baker 


Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Amina Buddafly~ Don't Wanna Be Right

On the last episode of Love and Hip Hop New York Amina Buddafly sang part of a new song she was working on. It was about love, doing the wrong thing, and how sometimes the wrong thing can be right. The song is called "Don't Wanna Be Right." The finished product sounds like a 90's love song. Listen below.

#LHHNY & Are You Sabotaging Your Future Success?

Although she's been around for a while in the music industry, we are officially getting to know Amina Buddafly on this season of Love and Hip Hop New York. 

On the show she's a pretty face with lots of talent that just happened to get with and marry another woman's man. Through research I found out she's an immigrant that came to the United States several years ago. While working on a singing career, she and her sisters tried to sell a reality show idea. The idea was of them coming to a new country and learning their way around. It never got picked up. However, as the group Black Buddafly they did have some success. Through her youtube page, television and social media sites, it's easy to tell Amina is an entertainer at heart. She sings beautifully, knows how to play instruments, and writes her own music. However, none of that is what people are talking about.

All of Amina's talent is being overshadowed by the Peter Gunz situation. Who knows what exactly he was telling her. Who knows how naive she really is. What is clear is they were working together, started having feelings for each other, and then got married. After getting married Peter was still act as Tara's boyfriend until the secret finally came out. He was sleeping with Tara while Amina was rocking his last name already and Amina sat back for a little bit and let it happen. That's not the bad part though. The bad part is that it is being broadcast on national television. Peter started his career long ago, but at 30 Amina still has a lot to do to make a permanent mark in the game. The problem is after watching LHHNY a lot of people don't want to support her. 

They don't care how good of a writer Amina is. They don't even care that she can sing. They're really not impressed by her and Peter's park bench moments because they know how the relationship started. They've branded her as a side-chick unworthy of respect and unworthy of future success outside of the Love and Hip Hop franchise. 

Sadly the self-sabotaging of future success is real. The thing is self-sabotaging is not always easy to see in the moment. It's later when the consequences start to show. Even though Alicia Keys makes beautiful music in-studio (not live), a brand was put on her years ago when she fell in love with a then-married man. Now she's the wife and people still have their negative views. Let's not forget R. Kelly's controversy years ago. He made a sex tape with an underage girl, went through a public trial, and was blacklisted for a couple years. Now R. Kelly will be dropping and album December 10th. Many articles are popping up about his album, but the conversations in the comments section are all about him being a child molester.  

A recent article was published on "Underground Success" called "24 Mistakes You Don't Know You're Making (That Are Sabotaging Your Chances of Success)." I must say I've made a lot of the mistakes on that list. Reading it actually made it wonder about my future a little more. Could I be self sabotaging? It's easy to put out all of your business for everyone to judge with all the social media. When it comes to work, you have no privacy unless you're the CEO of the company, but then even the CEO has a past. Do you ever wonder if you're sabotaging your chances of having a successful future, or is it not even important at this particular time? 

Monday, December 2, 2013

Thicker Than Water Portrays A New Level of Bougie For African Americans

"Tell the person next to you that God wants you to have it all."-- Ben Tankard

As much as I hate to admit it, there is something extra special about Ben and Jewel Tankard. These two are the happily married couple/stars of Bravo's show Thicker Than Water. The show spotlights how they successfully make their family life work, but they are not the ordinary African American family. Ben and Jewel are worth $5 million and they have almost all of their kids (grown and married too) living with them. Ben has been and continues to make his money from the Gospel music industry. However, there is something bigger that this reality show portrays. It shows how much we've as African Americans have reached a new level of bouginess.

Being bougie used to be all about carrying a Louis Vuitton bag, looking for only men with money, but still knowing how to drop it like it's hot when your favorite rap song came on. Think back to B.A.P.S, Player's Club, and Juvenile's song Back That Ass Up. As for Player's Club even while stripping for money, Lisa Raye's character still held air of classiness to herself. These are not these scenes that reality television is giving us.

Instead while watching Thicker Than Water, I saw Jewel and one of her sisters sitting around in these big fluffy costume dresses talking about some big anniversary party. Remember those dresses your mom used to make you wear every Easter? They were real itchy and you were forced to wear stockings with them. Yeah, I ditched those dresses a long time ago. However, apparently when you're worth a certain amount of money, those dresses are the requirement. This shouldn't be a surprise. These people also purchase private planes as "I love you" gifts.

Jewel has also talked about one of her sisters issues for several episodes. I get the part of being concerned about your family. You're there for them emotionally, there for them when they are sick, and even when they need some money. However, in this case the sister, Janice, is clearly keeping Jewel out of her business. Her and her husband do not want help from anyone. In fact, they moved to a new place without telling anyone. That was the clear sign to stay out of their business, but Jewel keeps talking about it. So in the last episode, Not The Family Standard," all of the sisters went to counseling.

I do love how they all bond. Ben takes time to make his wife feel special. Although he has asked his children how they plan to make money, he's not in a rush to kick them out of his house. Then Jewel may come off as bougie, but at least she's inspiring women to want more financially and emotionally. If you're a millionaire, the goal should be to become a billionaire.