Saturday, March 31, 2012

Music Video Don Trip I'm A Mess Ft Wale & Starlito

From the man who made the powerful rap song Letter To My Son" comes the song I'm A Mess. Watch Don Trip rap about being a mess in the video below.

Letter To My Father by Driicky Graham

I'm so late on a song I recently heard. It all started when I was in the car on my way home from work. I was chilling thinking tiring thoughts because it had been a long day. Then this song came on the radio and the lyrics were powerful. It's called Letter To My Father.

The artist of this song is Driicky Graham. It's his response to Don Trip's Letter To My Son. See in Don Trip's version he complains about having a crazy baby mama that forces him out of his child's life.  However, Driicky comes hard with lyrics expressing the loneliness he had to go through and how the pattern is continuing. Just listen below.

Opinions Finally Matter On Social Networks/Trayvon Martin Case

Recently twitter, a popular social network, made a huge accomplishment.

It all started with the death of a teenager during Allstar weekend in Orlando. The teenager, Trayvon Martin, was killed, by a self-proclaimed neighborhood watchman, George Zimmerman. At the time the teen was walking home from a corner store and only had some tea and a bag of skittles in his hand. Because of a lack of witnesses from the night, what happened between the two is unknown. However, after the killing Trayvon, Zimmerman confessed to police and was sent home free of criminal charges. This senseless killing would have gone unknown if it wasn't for twitter.

Within a week of the killing people jumped on the topic to voice their opinions. Their opinions increased as new people discovered what had happened. Soon it became a trending topic. After a whole month of tweeting about this case CNN finally covered it. Within days of CNN's talk Trayvon's family had a lawyer, the local cops over the killing were being investigated, and federal cops were investigating this crime. After a little bit more time Zimmerman found himself a lawyer and went into hiding. As of now Zimmerman has still not been arrested, but everyone knows what he has done.

The opinions of this crime started with twitter. Then it spread to other social networks until news stations finally started covering it. However, if it wasn't for twitter this case would have disappeared.

I remember a time when I had so many thoughts going through my head, but no one to share them with. Then I discovered social networking. First it was Myspace and then Facebook. Before Facebook became a big ball of spam twitter showed it's pretty little face. All of these networks have created an outlet for people who never knew that had an outlet.

But it's rare that we realize how powering our words are. Usually we hop on these networks and talk about stuff that's not going to matter in five minutes. Topics like high school or college memories come up. We discuss food, sex, and how to incorporate food into sex. Recently I saw a topic where men were arguing about the importance or matching underwear on women. These topics usually die after a couple hours, but the words are powerful.

I don't know when it started. Maybe it was when people started live tweeting award shows. Then again it could have been the day a popular person decided to search their name on a social network instead of googling themselves. But our opinions finally matter. Just look at how far the Trayvon Martin/Zimmerman case has come.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Trina Gets Styled By June/ Where's My Stylist?

Recently a brand new show called "Styled By June" appeared on Vh1. This show features famous stylist June Ambrose. On the show she shows us how she revamps celebrities looks to match the direction their careers are going in. On the second episode June had lots of fun styling Miami rapper Trina.

Trina used to be one of the baddest bitches on the rap scene. She'd jump on a mic, spit some sexy rap verses, and her songs would top the music charts. Her style with went her verses too. Being an ex-stripper Trina knew how to turn her sex appeal up high. However, times have changed.

Hardcore sexual female rappers have been replaced with Nicki Minaj and her imitators. Along the lines of style, there are so many women trying to stand out that wears actual clothes have become more important. Having personality in those clothes are important too.

That is why along with renewing her career, Trina had June Ambrose to help her with her choice of clothing and hair. Well, when the show was taped Trina made a transformation to a mo-hawk and cute long skirts. Just look at the pictures.

Now, I'm trying to build a career. Where's my stylist to help me out?

To remind you of the Trina we fell in love with, check out the old music video below.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Sunday Reflections: Where Are The Options?

The keys to the 2010 Huyndai Accent were gone. I could not find them anywhere.

That car was a pretty one made just for me. It was my first and only car to date that I could think of. That day at the car lot while glancing over my options it was the only one that stood out. It wasn't exactly special. It was a regular car surrounded by other Accents that deemed themselves more boring. It's cotton candy blue just glowed in the afternoon sun and said "Stop playing. You know you want to drive me." Although it stood out, my dad originally liked the red so we looked over it first. Since the red Accent was missing music, we went right back to that bright blue car that had my name written all over it. Well, when really thinking about it the car wasn't my choice. It was not a real option. That bright blue Huyndai Accent was the only car on that lot that someone else thought was good enough for me. I just went with the flow. However, on this particular day no matter how hard I looked for the keys to the car they were nowhere in sight. The option to drive was gone. The only move left to make was walk.

$50 and some change. That's all I heard the automated message system of Bank of America say. There was only fifty dollars and some change left in my account. It was the only account I owned, but wait. What happened to that nice savings account I'd opened and put tons of money in? Why did I hear nothing about it? Plus that cozy job I settled for was paying me a comfortable about of money every week. Where'd the money go? I was confused, but then I stared at the phone I was using. It was a regular flip phone with no internet service. There was no nice blackberry resting comfortably in my hands. There was just a regular T-Mobile sign that alerted me to the fact that I wasn't paying my own bill. It also made me realize that I was not independent. The dependence level was high. I was in need of a phone bill being paid, more money in my bank account, and someone to help me pay rent. The dependence level was higher than I'd ever imagined it would be, but what happened to the job I'd worked so hard for? Where was it? Why was I home thinking of all these issues and not at some desk feeling bored to death? $50 and some change and my only option was to beg for some more.

Loneliness called my name, but I didn't want to answer. It would only bring more loneliness. My heart couldn't handle it, so I grabbed my phone and searched for the options. There were several, but his name stood out most. He was similar to the others I'd met. A college student majoring in money motivation, a hustler not afraid to get what he wanted, a man who feared relationship commitment. I called and he came over. It was lust at first sight, but would end in another sad love song. As he left all I saw was his back. It was just like the others. They turned on me and then forgot I existed. Why did it have to happen that way? What happened to my option to be innocent? Why did he lack the option to actually care?  Actually maybe it was meant to be that way. I was never aggressive toward him. It was the other way around. He and the others before managed to dig up enough courage to approach. Approaching turned into good times and then good times eventually lead to heartache. It was never my option. It just happened that way.

As I walked to the door everything flashed before my eyes. The car was not there. My bank account was being controlled by someone else. The phone I depended on was not under my name. Plus to top it off the men were gone. I was alone.

One step forward, one step backward.

Slowly but surely everything's beginning to be in my name. The car that I drive has my name on it. The bank account controlled only by me has money being deposited regularly in it. The job has given me a badge that displays my full name. There is at least one man in my past that willingly decided to make me a part of his past. The change is there. Progress has been made, but then why am I still searching for the options?

  • The next car to own
  • Making more money
  • Living alone
  • Meeting a better man

Where are the options?

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Music Video Wale~ Sabotage

Wale's song Sabotage is amazing. It goes hard. This is definitely the latest to my playlist. How late am I? Check out the video below. 

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Singer Kandi Burruss Not Breaking Into The Country Music Scene

Over the last few weeks on Real Housewives of Atlanta we've seen Kandi Burruss progress into the country music scene. The singer she's been working with is Jo Dee Messina. On the show they've created at least two songs together. Their hopes were for the songs to become hits. In the last episode Kandi went as far as traveling to Nashville, Tennessee and performing with Jo Dee at a historical spot for previewing music. It looks like they did a great job, right? Well a recent tweet by Jo Dee says differently.

I wonder why the music will not be released. Could it be because we've already heard the songs? But the greatest of music gets leaked before it's time anyway. Maybe we'll find out eventually.

Nicki Minaj In Color Blocking Comfort

Nicki Minaj is my color blocking Queen.

When did the moment become cool to not care about matching outfits together? I remember being younger and being told my outfits didn't work. The shirt didn't match the pants, so it wasn't cute. The pants were matching the shoes, so I needed to start over. Just to be out there one day I let some kid paint my finger nails blue. It was loud and out of the ordinary, but the parents didn't like it. Back in the day colors just didn't work. Well wait...

Colors did sort of work for for stars. You could definitely catch stars rocking a style that we now know as color blocking. TLC wore every color of the rainbow when they first blossomed in the entertainment industry. However, as a normal little girl it wasn't acceptable around me. Now it's all the rage.

This commentary was inspired by the latest picture of Nicki Minaj. In the above picture she is shown wearing a green wig and some loud pink sweats. Then there's the pink lipstick that tops it all off.

Okay, you may look at Nicki as just another entertainer, but enter you nearest club and there's 50 women looking just like that. Yeah, color blocking is a cool popular style and Nicki Minaj is the queen of it.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

The Point Where Ambition Meets Doubt

True Story: The more reality stars expose themselves on television the more they open themselves up to new possibilities.

An example is Evelyn Lozada of Basketball Wives. When we first started watching her all we knew is that she was the ex fiance of some former basketball player. However, the woman has grown. For the past few years Evelyn has owned her own store. I'm not sure what exactly she sells, but it is featured throughout Basketball Wives every now and then. Evelyn has also become good at putting slogans on t-shirts and making profits off of them. Her latest venture involves being among the big names of authors to write under Cash Money Content, Bryan Birdman Williams latest money making venture. Yes! Evelyn, a woman known for being a bully on television, now has the title of author to her name. Well, soon she will. She has grown as a person.

Growth, after all, is our reason for living, right? Some people make new experiences by traveling around the world. Some guy recently wrote on twitter about how his mom always told him to see the world when he was growing up. Then at 23 he stood at the top of a mountain in a foreign country for the first time. It was his way of growing up. On top of that, some woman recently wrote an amazing blog post about how she's grown since the day she tried to commit suicide years ago. Well, the post was about her new inspiring tattoo, but it showed how her thinking had expanded.

Every day I read about the achievements people all around the world are making and the achievements people have already made. For instance, I love reading the profiles of women with natural hair. Their courage is so cool and maybe I can learn something. I make sure to read at least one lifestyle blog. Those blogs are always offering ways that can help people move their lives on to the next level. It's weird though.

As much as I like to be inspired, I'm afraid of elevation. There was one point where I was filled with lots of hope. That hope involved my writing dreams blossoming over time, the man of my dreams finding his way into my life at an early age, and knowing there were people being inspired by my actions. One day in one instance everything changed.

I can't tell you the moment my confidence began to falter. It just slowly dropped. The dream man became just another good dream. The writing dreams began to disappear with all the negative comments. The dream of wanting to inspire people the way Iyanla Vanzant does disappeared real fast. How can you inspire when those close to you don't even believe in your goals? Why do people plan out your life according their wants instead of what they know you really need? It's not just those that love you. It is also the magazines that talk about the highest paying jobs. It's the strangers that are waiting to take your position.

I'm afraid of elevation. I'm afraid of growing in an area that I have to struggle extra hard in just to end up sad in the end. Sure, there's money in any kind of achievement, but what if lots of money doesn't make you happy? I'm afraid of waking up one day and not recognizing who I am or where I am. In a way that is a growth. It's called working extra hard just to look at the mirror and become a stranger.

I'm also afraid of following my heart. What if my heart is wrong? What if I do everything it takes to achieve the goals I'm setting for myself just to fail over and over again? What if the failure leaves me a lonely old woman? Will I regret it? I'm afraid of doing what I feel is right. Sometimes it seems as if maybe everyone else could be right and I'm really wrong.

I'm afraid of where I am right now. This is the point where ambition meets doubt.

Marlo Hampton And Nicki MInaj Have Something In Common

Earlier this year Nicki Minaj wore a green Oscar Dela Renta dress to the American Music Awards. Well, on this Sunday's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta Marlo Hampton managed to let whoever she was talking to know Neiman Marcus was staying open late just for her. The comment seemed arrogant, but maybe it's true. At a recent event Marlo was seen rocking the same green dress designed by the already mentioned famous person.

She wore the dress for the 6th annual Fine Arts and Fashion Show by Neiman Marcus and the National Black Arts Festival in Atlanta. How could she afford such a dress? Maybe Bravo is paying more money to these reality stars than we think.

Sidenote: I want to attend that event one year, or several years in a row.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Actress Patrice Fisher Looks Like Janet Jackson

Janet Jackson
Patrice Fisher, actress on Zane's Sex Chronicles
One day late in the night I was wide awake flipping through channels in search of a good movie. That good movie led me to a series of Zane's Sex Chronicles.
Patrice Fisher

See I admired read the books back in high school and was amazed. It was then that Zane became the best erotica writer in my mind. Well, she was also the first erotica writer I had the chance of meeting. Since I loved the books so much I found it a great idea to watch the series of shows that were on.

While watching the actresses stood out. They were all pretty, intelligent, and had men problems. Well, getting sex from men was definitely not a problem for any of them, but keeping the men around was. So as I watched there's one actress that stands out more than the others. Her name is Patrice Fisher. 

Patrice Fisher stood out most to be because I thought I was seeing Janet Jackson for a second. They do look alike. Then again my eyes could be playing tricks on me. 

Janet Jackson

Melanie Fiona~ I Been That Girl (Co-Written With Drake)

Listen to Melanie Fiona's new song "I Been That Girl" below. This song  was co-written with Drake and will be on her upcoming CD The MF Life.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Lil Mo Is Back With "I Love Me" Ft Tweet

Sunday Reflections: Enough Material To Write A Book

In case you didn't know I've been writing for a long time. In college I learned every style of writing possible in hopes of a future career. It was essentially 50 percent about the money. Before college, however, there were other motives for writing.

 Throughout parts of high school I was angry at the world. A best friend became an enemy, other so-called friends harassed me, parents didn't want to hear about my horrible teenage experiences, and there was no one around that I could really trust. The writing, otherwise known as poetry, became my best friend and secret lover. We bonded in happily married ways that no one other than a couple than been together 20 + years can understand. That wasn't the real beginning though.

Throughout elementary and middle school creative fiction and I would play happily married people and under cover lovers. When people were interested in fiction were were the best of friends. However, when no one cared I once again hid my talent from the world. However, that wasn't the beginning either.

Even when you were in diapers poems and stories were popping up in my mind. That's the way it works, right? Every baby has an active imagination. Then the older we get the more the fantastic imagination starts to disappear. The real world takes over. Not everyone loses the chance to stay in fantasy land. Some of us are built to play with your minds. I'm one of those people and recently I realized I have enough material to write a book. The next few titles and links are some of my favorite poems and stories written by myself.

Going So Hard~ Poem written 2011, read here.

Mommy's In Need, short story written in 2011, read here.

He Didn't Lie~ Poem written 2011, read here.

A White Man's Baby~ short story written in 2010, read here.

Teach Me How To Love~ Poem written 2011, read here.

Maybe, Poem written 2011, read here.

A BS Degree, poem written in 2010, read here.

The Poet You'll Never Know, poem written in 2010, read here.

My First Time, short story written in 2010, read here.

The above is literally a teaspoon of my talent. There's a whole lot more. In fact I probably have enough writing to put together a book. Okay, there's enough for a couple books and I'm still writing. The creative writing in the future will not first be revealed to you here. Instead I'm submitting the majority of my future work to publications. I'm trying to be make the titles writer and story teller official. Plus I'm trying to get my name in some books.

If you've lasted through this journey with me until now thank you very much. I appreciate the love and patience. If you've never said a negative word towards my dream I'm even more pleased. There's lots more to come, so please stay with me. I plan to get published in the future. (smiles and ends the post)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Music Video J Cole Ft. Missy Elliott Nobody's Perfect

From Cash Money Records To Cash Money Content..

With a new book publishing company, Bryan Birdman Williams is an advocate for reading. 

Lately we've been hearing a lot about Young Money, but real money maker behind it all is still Bryan Birdman Williams. A long time ago we were introduced to Cash Money Records, which he owned. He went from a street rapper to a CEO to becoming a multimillionaire in the music industry. However, as successful as Birdman is, he's still expanding his wealth. 

Recently he sat down and talked to Black Enterprise about his new business, Cash Money Content. Check out some excerpts from the interview below. 

On Why He Branched Into The Publishing Industry

One of my personal reasons, I think we should read more as a people. And me, personally, I felt like I should read more. We have so much influence on the music world, I just wanted to convert it with books, and just get us [people of color] to read more. I think reading exercises the mind. To be special in life, we have to be self-educated, and I consider myself self-educated. 

On How He Was Able To Get Authors For The Company

We have a [literary] agent named Mark, who really helps us with this company. He really brings a lot of writers like Wahida [Clark] and Ashley & JaQuavis—those are real book writers. Evelyn Lozada [from Basketball Wives] came through Theresa, [rapper] Bow Wow’s mama, who is a friend of Evelyn’s. I think [with] Evelyn and everything she has going on, her book is going to be very special. I’ve been a friend of [radio personality] Big Boy for about 15 years, [and] I heard about [his] situation. I wanted that opportunity to be able to do some business with him. 

How He Stays Inspired

Family; loyalty; dedication; hard work; sacrifice; a lot of hours; and being smart. Everything is about your team; it’s never a selfish achievement. I just keep going forward [and] keep trying to expand this [brand] everyday. You can’t stay small. You have to keep trying to expand. And really I give my life to it… I really love my job passionately. I love to see these youngsters become superstars. That’s a gift. To me, it’s just being able to bless these youngsters that we have, and all these people on the label. Helping them become stars, that’s a blessing from God. 

I love a business man who is still able to put others first. Go to Black Enterprise to read the full interview. 

Wiz Khalifa Releases New Mixtape And Discusses Career Moves

Wiz Khalifa, also known as a very skinny rapper that enjoys the pleasure of weed, has released a new mixtape. Taylor Allderdice is named after his high school dives into the type of music Wiz and his fans enjoys to hear. Read his comments below.

The mistake i made on Rolling Papers was thinking it was time to move on from that genre not knowing that it had impacted people so much. The album did great numbers, but creatively wasn’t my best work. No regrets though. We live and we learn.
So for my fans sake and own personal enjoyment, I’ve gone further into the world we’ve created and elaborated on our genre with the mixtape Taylor Allderdice and of course my sophomore album ONIFC.
Im so confident in the artistry and creativity of these projects because so much living went along with them. These aren’t songs aimed to be hits or widely accepted or even understood. It’s for people who live like us and can relate. And informative to those who can’t.
Either way we’re inviting mu fuggas deep into our world and I can’t wait. I got new visuals, a new clothing line, and the new show is gonna be amazing. This is for us. Taylor Gang Or Die.
-- Wiz Khalifa

Download the mixtape here.

Basketball Wives Is Not Reality, Singer Tamia Speaks

Television show Basketball Wives is great reality television, but not reality reality. Recently singer Tamia spoke about the reality of being married to a basketball player.

Have you ever watched Basketball Wives and became amazed at the lives these women live? They have great friends, travel frequently, and make money without having actual jobs. Yes, they talk about their business plans on the show, but the plans are quickly forgotten when the cameras stop rolling.

 Have you wondered how they managed to snag successful men in the first place? Let's face it. It's hard out here for a pretty and intelligent woman.

Have you ever wondered if all basketball wives are doomed for divorce? As of season four all of the women, except Jennifer are divorced. They only reason Jennifer is still married is became her estranged husband Eric Williams is avoiding signing the papers.

Well recently singer Tamia decided to let the world know that the show Basketball Wives is not real. Check out her comments below.

“I think the perception is definitely not a reality. I think, to be fair, a lot of those women [on the show] aren’t wives. And I’m good friends with Shaunie. And as far as business is concerned, I applaud her, but I think that it’s definitely very misleading in terms of what our lives are about.
“I do have a lot of friends who are married to athletes, and a lot of these women are involved in charities, doing all kinds of things behind the scenes and are supportive wives, and — believe it or not — have supportive husbands who are really great guys. I think not only for the women, but I think it just paints a really bad picture about the men as well. I think for athletes in general, people are like, ‘Why would you want to marry an athlete?’ And that goes back to what I was saying to you: what works in one person’s marriage, may not work in the next. So keep your eyes focused on yours! I guess it’s interesting TV, but it’s definitely not reality.”
“I always say, “What works in one marriage may not work in the next. So definitely keep your eyes focused on your own relationship,” she said. “I think it’s important to understand that you guys are going to grow. Obviously, I’m not the same person that I was at 24, and he’s not the same person that he was. But we also together allowed each other to grow as well and stay connected at the same time. And I think that’s important. And obviously, communication is super important. And at the end of the day we just love being with each other and being really good friends” 

Tami has been married to basketball player Grant Hill since 1999 and they have two children together.

Lala Speaks On Her Busy Schedule In Vogue Magazine

For the April issue of Vogue Lala and Carmelo Anthony are doing a family spread. In the issue Lala discusses many different topics, including her busy life. Below is what she had to say.

This is the life I’ve always wanted, and basically it comes with the territory. I love my life and my family, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
_ LaLa Anthony

This is what us dreamers hope to wake up and feel every day of our lives. Check out the whole interview in Vogue's April issue.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Music Video Kenya Bell Choices

After watchhing clips of Kenya Bell's first music video on Basketball Wives, I found the full video on youtube. Unlike Kesha's criticism, I think it was pretty good for Kenya's first time. Of course there are improvements for the future, but Kenya did pretty good. 

Watch the video below.

I also loved the tiger look. She's a tiger for real. Check out the Chinese Zodiac if you are confused. 

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Music Video I Could Stay by Kreesha Turner

There's a new song I love and it's by Kreesha Turner. Song's called "I Could Stay" and it makes a committed relationship sound beautiful. 

First of all, I'm fascinated with her hair. That's big and thick. Oh and of course the song is fabulous. Check out the video below. 

This is definitely not R&B music. I'm expanding. 

Relationships Screams, Dormtainment Skit

Sunday Reflections: Late Nights And Even Later Mornings

As the work set  in exhaustion picked up. My eyes threatened to close on me. But falling asleep at the desk would be a huge mistake. The job depended on me being wide awake. Plus it wasn't that I was sleepy. My body was just feigning for a break, sort of whispering for it's old lifestyle back. The days when I used to see late nights and even later mornings.

This isn't a flashback to wild nights of partying. Nor is it about fine men and missing condoms. If it was about fine men the condoms definitely wouldn't be missing. I have no kids to prove it. This is simply about a girl that most would say had a messed up sleeping pattern. I viewed it perfectly though.
There were nights where I'd stay up and go out with people. It was the definition of Beyonce's song "Party." Then there were nights of late night writing. The writing could have been done in the day time, but I preferred total darkness before my imagination kicked in. Then there nights of being up late for no reason. There might have been something good on television. Maybe I had no plans for the next day. Sometimes it was just one of those nights where no sleep was allowed. I wasn't bothered though. With the late nights came the later mornings.

During these mornings I would sleep. Sometimes my eyes would pop open a little after 10 and sometimes they would stay closed to noon. This is really self explanatory. I loved to sleep the mornings away.

It's not the same. I miss those days. There's always a reason to force sleep. Going to work, trying to find something fun to do, getting out of the house on a pretty day, waking up to help someone else. Then when I try to force the sleep the very white wall disturbs my sleep by keeping me up longer. Writing topics seem harder to come by because I'm rushing them. A deadline called an alarm system is near. The later I stay up the quicker the alarm clock is ready to sound.

I miss those days of going to sleep whenever and then waking up whenever. Will they ever become my pattern again?

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Rihanna Advertises For Armani, I Think

There is a new Armani commerical out featuring Rihanna. However, I think they forget to tell her what she was advertising.

Throughout most of the video Rihanna is rolling around in a bed in underwear. When she does make it to the bathroom words magically appear on the mirror to let her know she has a flight coming up. Then it's not until the very end that she slides on jeans and grabs a purse to head out the door. The commercial finally makes sense once the Armani Jeans pops up. Throughout this whole commercial there is only dark music playing and no words are spoken. She's a singer and she doesn't even sing.

What I think happened is Rihanna was paid to advertise sex and then once the video was complete the makers decided to add the Armani Jeans logo as an afterthought. Check the video out for yourself.

Tracee Ellis Ross In Uptown Magazine (Peep The Quote)

Friday, March 9, 2012

Usher~ Climax Video

A Love Fell For, A Broken Heart Never Mended

It was a surreal moment as we said our goodbyes. This was the final time we'd see each other, the final time we'd play the game. There had been many friendly meetings out in public, many lust filled moments behind closed doors, and lots of months of not even speaking before one of us would involuntarily pop up in the other's life again. The last time someone would reappear would be the summer of 2010. 

Picture this: Summer of 2010, several interested men, a Bachelor's degree in hand, some mysterious problem with the economy that left millions jobless, several rejection letters from jobs, and a broken heart searching for more pain. 

I found my pain in the club one random day in May. There were several of us partying, one I knew for sure. She was my friend and had been trying to get me to relax for the last couple years, so there we were headed to the bar. It was about to be my second or third cup of some strong, but free alcoholic beverage. I wasn't on the road to drunk, but I would take the exist soon. 

As the bar came into view, a hand grabbed me halting the mission. I turned and it was him. My  happy, carefree attitude began to change into surprise. He spoke. I responded without thinking about what was coming out of my mouth. The memories I had worked so hard to forget started to reappear. He was still the same; smooth light skinned complexion, muscles from working out, the pretty boy look. His voice still sounded the same and the smell of his cologne drew me back in. 

I became nervous, but remembered to smile. It was loud, so we had to get close for conversation. The closeness brought back forbidden memories. I don't know if it was the alcohol or the memories, but I backed off. A story of how my friends were waiting for me slipped out of my mouth and before he could respond I was gone. However, it came too late. He had my mind once again. 

While I was with friends, he was with some girl. Later I would discover she was some girl that was trying to upgrade to his girlfriend. There were no plans of getting drunk that night, but seeing him after a while and then noticing he was with a girl increased the need for alcohol. 

During this same summer two men were trying to spend time with me and a friend was trying to hook me up with some guy. I gave all guys equal attention, but he popped into my mind from time to time. Then came the final day in June where we would meet up for the last time. 

It started with the internet. Either he wrote me on instant messenger or my emotional wreck of a mind started up. We planned the day to see each and then I instantly regretted it. In an odd, non-sensical way I hoped he would forget. The tomboy-ish side of me didn't need if the really girly part could handle the emotional roller coaster I was getting ready to ride again. 

Day of he comes over, shit happens, and we talk after. I always found it weird when some guy wanted to have conversation after a sexual encounter, but that's a story for another time. During this conversation I find out about his possible future girlfriend. He discovers that I'll be moving soon. He tries to build me up with this talk about how successful he thinks I'll be. I try to do the same for him, but it's not where my talent lays. Instead laughter ensues.

His laughter is warm, but by this time his presence bothers me. What are we doing? Did he just say he's talking to some girl and thinking about an actual commitment with her? Somehow or another the conversation leads to his heading out the door. We then say our awkward goodbyes. 

"Good bye. This is the final time. We'll never see each other again. Hope you have a nice life."

Our last words were corny, but the tears that came out once he had walked through the door were real. I cried my eyes out that night trying to figure out what had happened over the past couple years. 

I didn't hide this guy from the world and he wasn't trying to hide. My best friend knew about him. They were acquaintances. My long term roommate met him. He introduced himself to her and her friends. Others knew that we knew each other. However, how we met and managed to get into each other's heart is a mystery. 

What did we really have in common? Did any of our friends influence this? What was so attractive about him? Out of all the women in Tallahassee why my heart? Why my body?  I never liked hugging a man, because somewhere deep down it would trigger a feeling of comfort. Maybe it's true. You can't help who you fall in love with after you've spent enough time with them. 

I never saw him again. One day we would both be able to move on. As a man he would do it sooner. As the next man appeared in my life, memories of him became less vivid. However, my heart was never the same. 

I don't know why I worded this the day I did. I'm only 25. My heart may repair one day and forget what pain feels like.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

$170 Sneakers, Why Not Buy?

$170 Sneakers?!?!?! Yeah, I bought them.

When I left the house it was nice and sunny outside. By the time I finished sitting and eating crawfish in a cold restaurant, the temperature had started to drop. It wasn't cold though. It was still sunny, but a breeze had formed from out of nowhere. The wind was strong enough to blow me away. The best way to fight it was with a light jacket, something not in my possession. However, there was no going back home for a jacket. If I would have went back home, the trip to the mall would have never happened. The determination would have went into some deep dark place and later formed into guilt for not following my heart.

My heart was saying go shop for some sneakers. Yes, I'm 4'10 but this short chick loves some cute comfortable shoes. The trip was on. Once at the mall I became focused. One sneaker store didn't have anything that stood out. This girl (me) does not search for shoes. The shoes instead jump out and whisper to me in a sexy voice saying dirty words that only a fine man can come up with. I left the store and there was another sneaker store close. I think it was Finish Line. This store was a winner.

The moment I stepped in there were whispers everywhere.

One shoe said "Bitch, I'll be your sexy little whore."

 That wasn't the shoe for me though.

Another said "Hey pretty girl, you may not have found the man of your dreams but you can look good with me.We can do some things together."

I eyed that one for a while.

The last one wasn't really naughty. It spoke to me in a nice way. It said "You'll love me and I'll get you compliments.

I eyed it and then picked up the both shoes. The third choice was more expensive than the second. I tried both on. They both fit, which drove me crazy. The choice became harder.

What won me over was the fact that the more expensive pick was there for a limited time. According to the sales lady, they were Nike Women's Air Max~ 2009. These shoes come out every once in while and then disappear again. The price tag on these limited edition sneakers is $169.99.

Never have I ever spent over $75 on some shoes, but there's a first time for everything. I bought them and no compliment has come from a man yet, but my 9-yr-old brother did say they were cool shoes. A 9-yr-old counts, right?

Ashanti Does Blue Lipstick

Rumor has it Ashanti is on the come-back trail and soon she will release an album. Above is the album cover. The supposed title will be "Braveheart." Maybe it's because she's brave enough to have come this far with people still remembering her name. One hit wonders and artists with several hits can disappear and be forgotten real fast. Anyway I don't care about the future album. What caught my attention is the blue lipstick.

Wearing blue is for brave women, especially brave black women. It's also my favorite color. What do you think of Ashanti's bravery? Where does a girl even buy blue lipstick? This is a serious question.

Mona Scott-Young Talks Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, Chrissy Lampkin, And Yandy

Who Is Kenya Bell? The Other Basketball Wives Don't Like Her

Weird, unprepared, crazy, loose screws in the head, too old, bad dancer and a bad friend are all some criticisms we've heard of Basketball Wives newcomer Kenya Bell. I think they were all said in the same episode too. So far there's been two episodes of Basketball Wives, but the drama is heavy in the air and Kenya Bell is one of the main targets.

Before this season started we already knew that Jen and Evelyn were no longer friends. We also knew that Evelyn was a big bully, so drama would come and it has. However, that was the first episode of the season. The second episode focused on Kenya and everyone's negative judgment of her. There were several criticisms thrown at Kenya.

  • Weird because of promotional youtube videos
  • Unprepared because she didn't bring anything to an important meeting
  • Crazy because of youtube videos and a horrible way of dressing
  • Loose screws in the head because she smiled at criticism and thanked the person for their advice
  • Too old because of youtube videos
  • Bad dance and bad friend because she's too in tune with her emotions

Oh and I left one out. Tami told Kenya that she lacked sex appeal. After watching the episode three times to understand the drama I decided to find out who exactly Kenya Bell is. She can't be all the negativeness that was said about her. This search took me straight to her main website What I found was totally opposite of the girl on the show.

What caught my attention first is the picture at the top. Tami said Kenya had no sex appeal, but that picture says "Jump in the bed with me tonight."

Another thing that caught my attention was a list of goals. The list consists of goals she made as a kid, but neglected as she became older. Among the list is become a doctor, help the less fortunate, become an entrepreneur, and sing on broadway. Along with this list she also encourages anyone reading to create their own list. WOW, that shows a genuine woman.

After checking her main webpage and reading through the goals, I ventured into her "About Me" section. This section showed how she had put everyone before her for so many years. She was focused on her husband's career and raising her children for a while. For a split second she talked about how it's time to build her own career, but then she ventured back into how she wants to help others. Can I say genuineness again?

What I learned is Kenya Bell is a happy go lucky woman achieving her goals, but still some-what putting others before herself. She's also a better model than dancer. Although on the show Kenya does come across unorganized, she promotes herself well online.

Judge for yourself,

Shanell's Nobodies Bitch Mixtape Coming Soon + Promo Video

Singer Shanell is not disappearing from the spotlight while working on her album. She's going to give us a huge taste of her talent until she can really give us the money making work. Plus she's doing it all while proving she's Nobodies Bitch. That's the name of her mixtape that will be dropping soon.

Nobodies Bitch doesn't have a specific release date yet, but you can check out the promotional video for it below. It's intense.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

D. Woods & Shanell~ Foolish Dreamer

This song knows my heart right now. 

Karrine Steffans Hates Her Husband's Face

Karrine Steffans, also known as Superhead, is not making headlines for great sex or tell all books anymore. Her name is not being put out for bring a great author either. Now Karrine is being recognized for being the best of the best in dissing men. In fact she really let out a huge diss on twitter recently and the poor victim was her own husband.

Many months ago it was reported that Miss Steffans finally got married to a man that the public didn't recognize as a celebrity. In fact no one knew he was at all. However, downgrading hasn't been the best move for her. Read the words that she used to rip her husband's heart out and insult his little (maybe) dick below.

“You really deserve someone more basic…I’m tired of pretending your mediocracy is okay with me….I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss G650′s….I’m tired of pretending I don’t deserve a fucking BOSS! I’m tired of you driving my car….I’m tired of pretending like you shouldn’t be intimidated by the other men in my life. Cuz you should….I’m tired of pretending your dick isn’t the smallest 
 I’ve ever seen in my life. Cuz it is….I’m tired of pretending your favorite rapper didn’t just beat it up on Friday….Summer is on the way, nigga. You already know what’s up….I hate your whole face….I’m tired of acting like the sex is good….I hate when you roll all the way over onto my side of the bed to hold me. I’m over here for a reason….You should really be with that one chick who bagged our groceries this weekend. That’s more your speed.”
via The Jasmine Brand

Dang, she even said she hated his face. Have you ever insulted a man's whole face before?

Kim Kardashian In $5800 Shoes Designed by Kanye West

Remember those $5800 Giuseppe Zanotti heels designed by Kanye West? I just blogged about them a couple days ago. Well model Chanel Iman was the first woman to wear a pair out. However, Kim Kardashian has joined her as an owner of a pair. Look at the picture above. 

Kim Kardashian was spotted wearing the shoes at a recent show during Paris Fashion Week. She's there supporting Kanye, Do you think they're cute or just ridiculously expensive? 

Lindsay Lohan Messes Up Again, Should She Give Up?

This Saturday Lindsay Lohan tried to revive her acting career by hosting Saturday Night Live.
Who is that 40-Yr-Old Supposed To Be?

Wait, do you see Lindsay Lohan as an actress? I can only remember three movies. The most recent was I Know Who Killed Me, which came out in 2007. Before that was Mean Girls and Freaky Friday. Well, there was also Parent Trap, but she was a kid and this blog is not kid friendly. She's had some roles, but Linsday is definitely not known for acting. We know of her big party life, huge drug use, and fast aging.

I'm not going to recount the show to you. I only barely watched. There were a couple moments where Linsday seemed to be trying hard, but all the effort in the world couldn't have hidden that bad acting. Then her look was atrocious. It was as if I was watching Dolly Parton in her current age act a fool on a successful television show.

Okay, there's not much for me to say. The show didn't have my full attention. However, I did notice Lindsay's awful acting. The woman, although she's fairly young, has had a rough life. As a kid she was successful and able to live out her dreams. Maybe they were her parent's dreams, but they bought her lots of money and kept her in the spotlight. However, after a downhill career and drug abuse, should Lindsay just give up, step away from the mic, get out of the spotlight, regroup, discover herself?

Giving up is a strong phrase. It could involve getting rid of the part of yourself that really make you good at what you do. Then again giving up could mean discovering better. I don't know. Did you watch the show? Have you contemplated giving up in your own life? I don't expect comments, but I'm opening up the comments section.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Some Color In The Life: One Step Forward, Another Backward?

It was a moment of change to come. I walked into the hair salon proudly carrying my bag of new hair color. I was ready. I walked in there as a boring dark haired girl and I would walk out with some color in my life. No brown hair. That was too safe. No blonde. Everyone does blonde to feel brave. I picked the bravest color of them all, red. However, I knew there would be confusion and I thought I was mentally prepared for it. 

Do you ever have your mind completely made up with an idea and then someone throws a million questions to confuse you? It all started with the color choice. I had bought a box of a specific red color I wanted in my hair. The stylist took one look and said "We don't use box colors. We use the salon stuff." Well, that wasn't a problem. The problem came when she bought out two books of color for me to look at with multiple shades of red. I became so lost trying to choose a color. Although the simplest solution would have been for her to find the color that matched the box I had bought, it was too easy of a task. We needed to choose the hard way. 

The color was finally chosen. It was a 6 R, also known as Ruby Rage on the beauty store shelves. 

The process begins. The stylists asks someone for advice to be sure she is about to put the color on right. That scares me. She then mixes up the color and disappears for a second. Maybe she's trying to build up excitement for me. After she settles down, the process begins. In the midst of it I have flashbacks to getting perms. The difference is avoiding scratching is not a precaution beforehand in this case. She puts color everywhere except the roots and then disappears. This is done so my hair will be darker at the roots and lighter toward the tips. It wasn't my idea. Well, before she disappears her next appointment arrives. She comes back, washes their hair, and then comes back to me. She finishes putting all the color on and then tells me to move to another chair for a minute while all the color sets in. It feels like forever before another stylists checks my hair. The other woman lets her know I'm ready to be washed out. After a good wash out, shampoo, and conditioner it's final. I'm a new woman. Okay, I'm the woman with a new permanent color. 

A Very Subtle Color 
But it's not over. She admires her work and decides I need a trim. I wanted a trim, but what she does is not what I was thinking. She trims and realizes my hair is a little uneven. Then she gets carried away. It is at the point when I realize there is a scissor happy stylist on my head. Maybe it's my imagination playing tricks on me, but she cuts me back to my original starting point. That moment when I first had the big chop. I'm a bald headed scallawag (that has too many old songs stuck in her head) again, but with a cute new color. 

Don't tell anyone this, but... while I want my hair to be cute and look like the millions of girls on the natural hair sites, I love this short look. It reminds me of actress Monica Calhoun in The Player's Club before she got her butt kicked. I'm a suburban girl with ghetto girl dreams. 

More pictures below