Thursday, April 28, 2016

Just Showing Off

I'm a writer, but I'm also a lover of pictures. So this past weekend I wanted to do a promo photo-shoot for my book. I wanted to take photos at home, on the steps outside, at the park, at the library, and at the mall. Oh, I was also going to walk to one of the nearby business buildings and get a photo or two. The idea behind these photos is to show you that you can read my book anywhere. However, it was raining when I got ready to leave, so only house photos were taken. Below are the results. 

If you want to know more about Woman Manifested before you decide to purchase it, Amazon allows you to take a peek at the first couple of pages. 

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

This Blogger Is Trying To Elevate Her Financial Status

Earlier this year this blogger group  started a "No More Broke Bloggers" challenge. So one of my goals has been to elevate my financial status. The following is why it needs to be elevated.

Every year at my job we get a little raise, but this year it definitely wasn't enough. My insurance went up about $15 and I got car insurance in my name. Before March the insurance was in my dad's name and he was getting tired of me being under his name. He had expressed it on several occasions. I told him as soon as I could get my furniture all the way paid off, I would take on the new responsibility. Why does my car insurance and renters insurance combined cost more than those furniture payments did?

On top of that (in stupid judgement) I allowed the Sprint person to convince me that upgrading my iPhone was a good idea. Now my phone bill is higher and I have to wait a year and a half until I can decrease this shit. Plus I have two lines, which means I'm making monthly payments on two phones. Both are a year and a half away from me being able to get out of the contract and pay my way out of payments plans. Essentially my bill went from $90 after taxes with one phone line to $160 after taxes with two phone lines and payment plans. Yeah, I was real stupid. Also, because I'm paying $160 there is no insurance on each phone. If one breaks, I'm using the other number for the duration of the plan.

Oh yeah, I also have this credit card that I've charged up too high and now I'm tossing too much money toward paying it back down. What I initially did with the credit card is I'd charge it up to a certain amount with stuff I couldn't immediately afford and then I'd pay it all the way off with tax returns. My very first tax return from this currently down was almost $4,000. It decreased a little the second year, but I was still able to pay my credit card all the way off again. However, the last few years my returns decreased to $1500 and my emergencies became expensive. Like car issues expensive; and dentist appointments to fix problems because I hadn't been in forever expensive; and sliding energy bills onto my credit card because with heat the bill goes way up and I still want to use extra money in my paychecks to eat and have some fun on the side.

Wait, life is expensive. I have this bills and I live by myself, but I dream of become a wife and mother. I don't want to be one of those women who walk into the relationship with barely anything while he's taking care of us both. And babies are expensive. Children are expensive. Teens and college are no joke when it comes to financial dependence.

After saying all of that, I hope you understand why I'm jumping on the "No More Broke Bloggers" challenge. Now, how exactly does that go?

My first plan in this challenge was making money from my "Woman Manifested" book. The goal was to make one minimum wage check ($450 or lower after taxes) before putting the promotion to rest. However, I made $150 in one month and no one has purchased the book this month despite a large amount of people telling me they will get a copy eventually. Lately I've just been taking pictures with the book just to show off because it's clear the ones clicking the "like" button on posts aren't about to do much more. In fact when I write my second book I'm not even encouraging people to purchase it. I'm just going to take more pictures to show it off to the world.

Currently I have no more ideas of how I could put more money in my pockets, but the plans will eventually come. I just have to keep trying new ideas until something works.

Monday, April 25, 2016

Lil Kim and The Black Woman's Fight To Love Herself

How is a Black woman supposed to love herself when she's never felt loved? How is a celebrity supposed to love herself when she never felt loved and she's spent half her life in the spotlight?

Lil Kim is being talked about once again. A few weeks she uploaded a photo with a brand new lace front wig on. I think it was a wig anyway. Most of us ignored it because it was clear there was a filter and she was easily recognized. Well, that Lil Kim we've gotten used to over the past couple of years was easily recognizable. However, on a beautiful Sunday April 24th the Notorious KIM practically broke Instagram and Twitter with a new photo and video.

In this new photo she had the same lace front wig on. However, there was no filter and her skin tone was totally different. She didn't look Black in the photo. Nor did she look Asian. She looked like the regular White woman. Her White woman look was so perfect that many of us scrolled on past the video and photo because we simply did not recognize our beloved Kim.

Upon being recognized people stalked talking about her self hate and how Black men really did love her before all the changes. Sure Black men probably did, but Biggie Smalls offered Kim the perfect career and ideas on how to improve her (physical) image. After Biggie was gone, Kim's love for the image in the mirror never got better. Instead she started using plastic surgery to change into the woman she wanted to be.

This is what we're seeing now. So how does Lil Km start to love herself when she's never felt loved? Well, while many of us may miss the dark skinned queen bee who spit hard rhymes next to Biggie, or even miss the dark skinned queen bee with some plastic surgery that rapped about being able to make a sprite can disappear in her mouth, or even when her look when she danced with R. Kelly on the "Feeling On Your Booty" video, the Kim we're seeing now may just be the one that makes her happy.

P.S. I'm an author now and my book "Woman Manifested" is available on Amazon and Kindle.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Surrender #WYAOApril

Sometimes I don't care about the romantic date. I can go to the movies alone, and I can go out to eat by myself.  I've traveled by myself so I know I can do it again.

Sometimes I don't care about the phone calls and texts. Do we need to hear each other's voices every day? Do I need to wake up to a text saying, "Good morning?" Hearing "I love you" on a regular basis and having a man that cares about what I'm doing wold be wonderful, but sometimes I can go without that.

Sometimes I can't imagine never sharing my space again; sleeping alone and cooking only for one. Only my name will be on the lease or mortgage. If all he wants to come over for is sex, then the accommodation will be made. I can deal with the fact that he'll leave right after. At least I think I can.

At my weakest moments I know I can. When my sexual urges become too much to control and his number is staring me right in the face saying, "Use Me," all other options disappear. When I've been listening to the perfect sex playlist and a picture of him pops up on social media I don't know what else to do.

I want more. I always want more. But sometimes his body really is just enough. Well, as long as he knows what he's doing.

This post is part of Twenties Unscripted Write Your Ass Off April challenge.

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Ascend #WYAOApril

I have panic attacks. Just about every time I attempt to do something I've never done before I panic. Sometimes when I do things I've already done and  realize I have to go through it all over again I lose my mind.

Yes, I lose my mind. I lose everything fucking sense I have.

Sometimes I scream out the frustration. The safest place to scream is twitter. I can scream in words and rarely does anyone pay attention. Well, its safe until one day down the line someone is looking for something to shame me with. Sometimes I scream in the privacy of my own home. I shout. My echoes bounce back at me making me even more frustrated. The echoes remind me that I'm alone.

In my moments of frustration I find myself alone. I'm not sure how it has happened, but the older I get, the farther away my closest friend tend to get.

Why is it this way? I could easily talk my frustrations out over a nice strawberry daiquiri or dance it out with friends at some club. But since there's no one I could hang out with, no one that would be readily available, I choose being comforted by my tears. It's something powerful about tears. The way they come out whether I really want them to or not. The way they fall like raindrops. Sometimes they'll come out two or three drops and then I'll feel silly. I can easily wipe them away and pull myself together. Sometimes they fall harder, like a thunderstorm. I just have to let them drop for what seems like forever until I feel like I have absolutely nothing left.

Once the process is done with, I feel rejuvenated. I feel like I can do anything I put my mind to. Honestly this process is what happened during the time of writing my book and getting it ready for submission. I was good. Writing it was fun. Waiting for it to be edited left me a little anxious. Realizing that all I had to do was submitted it to a website and it would be published was super frustrating.

But then I did. I got past the nervousness and now I'm a published author with totally new reasons to fall apart. However, the most important part of the process is over. My name is on a book that is for sale.

Okay, okay. I don't always break down like this. Sometimes I can call one of those friends that is far away and talk it out over the phone.

This post is part of Twenties Unscripted Write Your Ass Off April.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Audio: King Juno (@ThaOfficialJuno)~ Social Poppin

King Juno has a message for all of us women in his new song Social Poppin, produced by Rellek Beats

The message is there's a difference between being "bad" (looking good) and social poppin (getting a man's attention on the internet). The song gives a good description of what dating has been like ever since the internet became a better way to meet potential significant others than casually meeting in the streets. 

 Social Poppin is one of the singles off of King Juno's upcoming album J.U.N.O. You can purchase this song iTunes. Listen below. 
In case you're wondering who this artist is, King Juno, whose real name is Darryl Burroughs, was born and raised in Buffalo, NY. His love for music was influenced by being around singers and musicians. Currently He's currently working with Rellek Beats of Young Godz on his album J.U.N.O., which is expected to drop late spring. There's also been talk of him joining Young Godz, but we'll have wait and see if it happens. 

Let me know what you think of the song and follow this artist on social media if you like him. Also check out his website

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Spill #WYAOApril

To spill is to cause something in liquid form to be wasted from a container and create a mess. I'm attempting that in literal form. 

I never thought it would be easy. Nope, I thought that it would be just as hard as any other task that I've attempted. 

For instance when I moved back into my parents house I found my bedroom closet overtaken with clothes that weren't mine. Other than my childhood drawer, I didn't have any room for the extra clothes, so I convinced myself that I could buy a pretty drawer from Walmart and put it together myself. Some girls let their dads do those kind of tasks, but my dad isn't the handyman type. I purchased the drawer, started putting it together, and then at some point I fucked up. I couldn't get a screw to fit and then the wood in that area decided to go straight to Hell. I imagined the task of publishing a book and then attempting to sale it would be something like that. 

I also imagined it would be way tougher than taking trips to Los Angeles or New York City and pretending like I wasn't scared. Those were easy. They involved spending money, not convincing people to pay me money for my God-given talent. They involved exploring new roads and buildings and places to eat at, not convincing people that they should buy a book.

Did I mention it's a book about relationships? It's mostly fiction tales that take on real life events that happen to us all. All of us women. It takes on relationships with the workplace, with family, with the loss of friendships, and romantic relationships. I should be absolutely positive that other women would want to read this, but an author once said most women only want to read relationship type books written by men. 

Even more getting people to read my writing has never been an easy task. I can blog all day, every day for the rest of my life pushing posts and hoping people will pay attention. But I can put up a new picture of myself on Facebook, ask for someone to judge it, and people will gladly directly (and sometimes indirectly) let me know how they feel. Last year someone indirectly stated that my hair was ugly in a picture all because I didn't utilize her services, but that same person hasn't had any type of opinion when it came to me becoming an author. 

These are thoughts that I shouldn't be putting out to the universe. Good salespeople only give you the positive sides of their business. They only tell you how great their product is and how you should give your money to them. Of course I know you should purchase Woman Manifested: A Poetic Tale, but it's been a little over a money since I put it on sale and I'm not afraid to say this shit is hard. 

This post is part of Twenties Unscripted Write Your Ass Off April writing challenge. 

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Complicate #WYAOApril

It started with regular friend requests on Facebook. There was a time before networking on Facebook with people all over the world became popular. It was a time before you could be connected to your favorite author, singer, or even actor. During this time it was about having online friends from different colleges. Even more it was about having cute online friends of the opposite sex. It was about finding people from your past to get re-acquainted with.

There was a time where everyone was joining Twitter out of curiosity. It was new, fresh, an online world worth exploring. It was a little serious, a lot of fun, and the perfect place to start networking with likeminded people.

By the time Instagram came along social media was already a mess. Follow for follows were already heavily talked about on social media. The media brands were expected to get all the attention while others fought to get follows. By others I mean those of us who have been thinking of creative ways to get our talents noticed by the rest of the world forever.

By 2016 this shit is more complicated than anything else. There are follow for follows where at least one person isn't actually going to follow back. They are just trying to build up their numbers. There are PR brands all over social media now, but they barely know anything about the clientele they're trying to pull.

There are tons of Facebook requests people are sending out to get their products noticed. I've started rejecting the requests because the advertising becomes overwhelming. Then there are others complaining or belittling them for trying to better their lives. Unfortunately in an attempt to chase my dreams, I've become a part of the advertising crowd.

How do we succeed in all of this mess? Oh yeah, we wake up Monday and go through our daily routines hoping we don't zero out our bank account before the next paycheck.

P.S. Click on the link and read all about my book Woman Manifested: A Poetic Tale.

This post is part of Write Your Ass Off April, hosted by Twenties Unscripted.

Friday, April 8, 2016

My Confession #WYAOApril

"The love was sabotaged from the start
Me already struggling with a broken heart
You not really wanting to get involved
But the chemistry would not let us be apart"
Excerpt from the book Woman Manifested

My heart was broken by a man before sex ever entered the picture. Because of age some might say he was just a boy. He was just a crush, just another one to be interested in. But before I could really understand the essence of my womanhood, he was another one that saw me as not pretty enough. Something was wrong with my hair. My height was too short. My weight was not enough. As if he could read my mind, my thought process was too complicated.

But then I got a little older. It was no longer about good hair or height or even weight. It was about sex. It was a different he and if I didn't give him what he wanted then he was gone. After enough rejections he becomes another face in the crowd.

One of the movies I used to watch over and over again was Never Been Kissed. The movie is about a reporter that gets an assignment that puts her undercover in a high school. She has flashbacks to her high school days where she was teased. She was essentially a nerd and she still is. She's just a mature adult nerd. Her only issue is like in high school, she still struggles with the opposite sex. She struggles so bad that she's never been kissed.

I liked watching her, but I didn't want to be her. At the age of 20 I decided that even if I couldn't figure out the love part, I didn't want to wake up ten years later and still not understand the power of my sexuality. Okay, I'm lying. It's not that deep. Like everyone around me, I wanted to have sex. I want that experience. I wanted that story for myself. I didn't want to one talk about sex when it came to other people's experiences. There's a saying that the best way to experience life is to get the experience yourself.

If you want to read more of my freaky thoughts on this topic, you either have to wait until whenever I'm ready again or purchase my book Woman Manifested: A Poetic Tale on Amazon. It's a series of fictional poems and stories with real life experience mixed in to tell the story of a woman finding herself.

This post is part of Write Your Ass of April, a 10-day writing challenge hosted by Twenties Unscripted.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

About That Free College Education Bernie Sanders Is Promising Us

If you're a little bit older than me or a little younger, think back to anywhere in the last eight years of graduating college and job searching. Do you remember that moment of walking across the stage? Do you remember finally receiving your degree in the mail, sharing it with family, framing it? While being exciting about your degree, do you remember how many jobs you applied to before someone finally agreed to interview you for a position? Now we're getting somewhere.

I graduated college in spring of 2010 and was not hired for a job until the spring of 2011. Then when I finally got that position it was a minimum wage position. No! Not the $15 minimum wage everyone is talking about. That number doesn't exist yet. I started out at $8 an hour working for this small company that did most of their business online. Just in case that surprises you, it was a part time position too.

Does that sound like fun to you? Well, it wasn't the story for others that I knew. They didn't settle for those part time jobs or the full time jobs paying minimum wage. They went back to some university, maybe the same university, and got masters degrees. Why go for a higher degree? Well, news reports were all saying the economy was in terrible shape, so word around the world was a bachelors degree was as significant as a high school diploma.

Fast-forward to six years later. The economy is better. We have this presidential hopeful that people in their 20's and younger seem to love. His name is Bernie Sanders. His wife, Jane O'Meara Sanders, is the former president of a liberal arts college that is lacking the funds to successfully focus.  You can fully research that yourselves.

What do people like about Bernie? Well he has this "Feel The Bern" campaign that makes a lot of promises. He promises the idea of $15/hr minimum wage. He also promises higher taxes on the wealthy and lower taxes for the rest of us. However, the biggest promise he's making that people love is free college education. We all know expensive to be smarter, so he's made some people believe college can become free. You can read all about his plan to make colleges and university free here.

So imagine if college is made free. Despite the economy being better, there are a few things that have changed. Bachelors degrees are still practically equivalent to high school diplomas. Even for those people who graduate now and look for jobs, they still have to take extra tests or get that masters degree in order to make some real money. By real money, I mean pay bills, live comfortably, and feel free to have some fun on the side.

Now think about the following questions. Just think. What will become of higher education if it's free? Does this free number include masters degrees and PhD's? Will people with these free degrees be taken seriously at all?

See the way our government is set-up it is highly unlikely higher education would ever become free, but what if it does happen?

P.S. I know you want to get to know so much more about me. Purchase my book 'Woman Manifested' and lets chat once you're done reading it.