'You Are Beautiful' #WildflowersUnscripted

‘You Are Beautiful’ is what I constantly remind myself. No matter how in a rush I am or how bad I feel, I take the time out of each day to say this. There are many reasons why this is important.

In the midst of black history month, I’ve seen a dozen conversations about how black men are choosing white women over black women. In one Facebook group a black man brought it up because of all the interracial relationship groups being created online. While reading the thread at least one of the men went as far as to insult Michele Obama, the wife of the president of the United States. The crazy thing is after questioning them, the creator of the thread said he’s only dated black women, so he doesn’t even know if a white woman would be better for him.

During another moment where I just felt the need to publicly brag about the beautiful and successful Lupita Nyong’o, a man felt the need to go out of his way and write under my photo how ugly he thinks she is.

The thing about Lupita is she reminds me a lot of myself. She’s dark skin, skinny, and her hair is in a short Afro. Her hair isn’t flowing with curls and her body isn’t busting all over the place with curves. Most important of all, she’s extremely smart. Her presence speaks volumes no matter where she is. When looking at her you can tell she is naturally happy and she’s glowing.

However, there are men and women online waiting to rip any woman apart just for operating in the same space as them. If you’re on Facebook, people see a target. If you’re on twitter or even Instagram, people see a reason to insult you.

Not long ago, I saw a guy on twitter take a woman’s Instagram photo where she was posing with no makeup on and he thought it was funny. Nothing about her photo was ugly. She was a pretty black woman who felt like showcasing her beauty real quick with no makeup on. I asked what was wrong with her, but received no response. I think it’s because deep inside he already knew there was nothing wrong or funny about her picture. The real issue was himself.

The bigger problem I’ve always had is, I was raised to be an overachiever. I was raised to either be smart enough to fit in or work hard enough to where there would be a demand needed for my skills. However, corporate America usually sees you as replaceable no matter how smart you are and if your self esteem is not strong enough, people see you as destroyable. They will destroy every single physical quality of you just because they see a weakness in you.

So, 'You Are Beautiful.' I’m reminding myself of this right now before I read any more comments online and will remind myself as soon as I wake up. If we motivate ourselves, we leave room to only absorb positive energy. I've had to continually work on telling myself that I am smart enough despite what others might say and I have to continually apply that I'm beautiful as well.