Monday, May 27, 2013

Floating In The Ocean In The Same Spot

Yesterday I started to go into deep thought about everything again. What all I've set my mind to do and accomplished, what all I still want to accomplish, and what is preventing me from moving forward. These are things I have to do. That feeling of being in a boat in the middle of the ocean and floating in the same spot over and over is real. I don't want to get stuck in the same spot. Moving forward is important. 

I've learned that if it's meant to be, it will haunt your dreams until the day you accomplish it. I've dreamed about moving to a new place so many times. The dreams aren't always located in Los Angeles. Sometimes they're in areas I can't recognize. 

There are dreams about climbing mountains in the middle of nowhere. The mountain dreams have everyone I love coming along with me, but in reality that will not have. The book The Dream Giver even expresses that I have to choose who to listen to when going after my dreams. 

I've had dreams of motherhood. Maybe that is just my clock ticking and telling me to make a child as soon as possible. Maybe it has a deeper meaning. Dream interpretations say that dreams of giving birth just means that you are working on birthing new ideas and goals. I've been working on my ideas forever now. My baby dreams started way back in college. 

I also have the strangest dreams that never make any kind of sense. Maybe that's because in reality I still get stuck on how to pull all my thoughts out. For example, I will be in New York City June 20, 2013. The plane ticket has been bought and the room has been purchased. Plus the event, Blogging While Brown, has been paid for. The worry comes in money. Will I have enough money to pay my bills once I get back? For some reason money keeps getting tighter. I supposedly got a raise earlier this year, but my pay check never seemed to change. 

Bills Bills Bills. Goals on top of Goals. I'm really trying to let go and let God handle everything, but I've always been under the impression that God does for those who help themselves. 

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