Friday, October 24, 2014

No New Friends? (Friday Confession)

No New Friends? In six days I'll be 28 and one of the hugest lessons in the past couple years has been about friends. A couple years ago I was real frustrated about how everything surrounding me was going. In an attempt to really start figuring shit out, I stopped calling people.

At least I struggled to stop communicating with anyone and everyone. I'm the one that usually keeps in contact. By me keeping in contact, I can usually sleep at night saying certain people are still my friends. It was time for a change though. I had to stop depending on the voices of others to keep me sane. I stopped communicating with that guy I had been promising sex. I stopped checking up on people that never called me. I stopped calling people that did check up on me regularly. After moving out of my parents house I went months before I saw them again just to gain that peace of mind.

Outside of logging onto social media, I had to disconnect from everyone. I was upset with my achievements during that time. How could I be that old and still not where I had planned to be? Why did it only feel like one or two people were on my side? I had to step away from everyone else and get back in touch with Lashuntrice. No New Friends.

Before moving back to Houston I used to always tell people I needed new friends. I'd let them know I had no one to hang out with most of the time and needed to meet new people. At least I thought I did. After moving back to Houston I had the same mindset. I reconnected with some old friends, but desperately felt the need to meet and gain new friends. Just because you want it, doesn't mean it's meant to be. Only A Few Friends.

I don't trust easily, but when I do start to trust someone I love them hard. I'm that friend that'll get on someone's nerves because I'm too attached. I care too much. I'm afraid of losing the people that's become valuable to me. It's a good trait and a bad trait at the same time. It's also the reason why I've grown to appreciate only having a few friends.

I have a few friends that I can trust with my secrets (like I really reveal those), shed tears with, laugh with, and lift them up as much as they lift me up. Maybe there will be a few more new friends in the future, but I don't need them.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

(Mixtape) Dej Loaf's Sell Sole

"Open up your mouth. You gotta talk to this pussy." Dej Loaf just dropped her debut mixtape, Sell Sole, and it's worth listening to. Hear all the songs below. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

#Blogtober14 Pet Peeves

One of my pet peeves is breaking my own rules. I'm supposed to be following this challenge throughout the whole month, but guess what? There was no Blogtober post yesterday. It was all about dream jobs and I skipped it. A post was written, but before it could get typed up exhaustion gave way. As you can see, I do need a vacation and that is coming up real soon. Next week is my week of doing nothing, but another pet peeve will show its ugly.

That's the one that involves having no money to spend during vacation days. I can't try tons of new places in Houston during my break because, no money. All the money will go towards making sure bills are paid (1st of the month is next week) and basic survival. UGH! Now that you know a few of my pet peeves, here's a couple more.

Inconsistent Men
They put my hormones on Fleek, but then act as if nothing just happened. They act as if they're not teasing me, not building up my expectations, not putting thoughts into my head. UGH! I really just wanted to use the word Fleek.

Dumb Questions
Just in case you need examples of dumb questions: Why do you like writing so much? (newspapers exist, books and bookstores exist, magazines exist, and they all get read by someone) Why do you always want to go out and do something? (why do you like sitting around the house and working yourself to death?) Why do you like watching scary movies? (why do you like watching the news?) There are so many more.

People Trying To Force Me To Do The Opposite Of Everything I Want
I don't want to buy a house any time soon, so why do I have to hear someone try to talk me into it? I want a surprise birthday party one day, but why do I have to beg people to celebrate my birthday with me? When I need help, no one seems to be around. However, everyone can tell me how they think I want to live my life. Living alone has been my proudest experience, but only my best friend supported the idea before I took the big leap. I do not want to spend the rest of my life hearing people question every decision of idea that pops into my mind.

"This is all I have left in me"- Jhene Aiko
The Daily Tay Blogtober14

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

(Music) Iz U Mad by Surreall

The Biggest Visual Sex Without Touching Lesson

I've learned a lesson. This isn't the kind of lesson that is taught in textbooks. It's also not whispered throughout the streets either. It is just something you have to learn on your own. I've learned this. You're probably curious. Its all about men and pictures.

Men love to request pictures of you. They want to see you naked is all kinds of lights and at every angle they can imagine. They beg you to send something showing a little skin or even a lot of skin. They don't stop begging. This is part of the lesson. Men never stop asking. They even tease you with their egos in an effort to get what they want. They want those nudes so badly.

It doesn't matter that nudes get leaked all the time. Just this year alone so many celebrity women woke up to find their naked bodies being passed around the web. Some woman's naked photos are getting leaked as I type this. She won't even know until some men are retweeting her photos and bragging about how good she looks. Well, they might brag or they might spread the pictures in an effort to embarrass her because of something they didn't like. It's a cruel world.

Either way, when the pictures usually hit the internet there is no turning back. There is no hiding your face, unless your face wasn't in it. There is no lying because lying would only hint that you're ashamed of your body.

Wait, you get it. Pictures get leaked. However, sometimes pictures don't get leaked. Men just want them for their own personal collection. They ask and its up to you to actually send anything. What I've learned is if you don't send a picture a man will continue to ask. If you do send a picture, a man will want more pictures from you. It's never-ending. It's a lose/lose situation. Well, it's a win if you want to keep sending more pictures.

The problem with this lesson is I don't know if its valuable. Maybe pictures is just a part of my generation. We like visuals. The part about pictures possibly getting leaked still ruins a girl's reputation if she is still at the bottom trying to climb her way to the top of the career ladder. However, the idea of ruining careers doesn't stop men from asking.

Grab Me

Searching For My Star