At least I struggled to stop communicating with anyone and everyone. I'm the one that usually keeps in contact. By me keeping in contact, I can usually sleep at night saying certain people are still my friends. It was time for a change though. I had to stop depending on the voices of others to keep me sane. I stopped communicating with that guy I had been promising sex. I stopped checking up on people that never called me. I stopped calling people that did check up on me regularly. After moving out of my parents house I went months before I saw them again just to gain that peace of mind.
Outside of logging onto social media, I had to disconnect from everyone. I was upset with my achievements during that time. How could I be that old and still not where I had planned to be? Why did it only feel like one or two people were on my side? I had to step away from everyone else and get back in touch with Lashuntrice. No New Friends.
Before moving back to Houston I used to always tell people I needed new friends. I'd let them know I had no one to hang out with most of the time and needed to meet new people. At least I thought I did. After moving back to Houston I had the same mindset. I reconnected with some old friends, but desperately felt the need to meet and gain new friends. Just because you want it, doesn't mean it's meant to be. Only A Few Friends.
I don't trust easily, but when I do start to trust someone I love them hard. I'm that friend that'll get on someone's nerves because I'm too attached. I care too much. I'm afraid of losing the people that's become valuable to me. It's a good trait and a bad trait at the same time. It's also the reason why I've grown to appreciate only having a few friends.
I have a few friends that I can trust with my secrets (like I really reveal those), shed tears with, laugh with, and lift them up as much as they lift me up. Maybe there will be a few more new friends in the future, but I don't need them.