Thursday, October 30, 2014

The Fuck A Birthday Post (Happy 28 To Me)

Now that I've gotten your attention, it's that time of year again. My Birthday!
Not My Black Art

However, it's not all birthday cakes, cupcakes, presents, and everyone spending money on me. Millions of phone calls aren't coming in with people asking what they can do to make my day feel special. I'm no celebrity and far from still being a kid who they felt obligated to treat special at least once a year. By the end of tomorrow there may only be a few phone calls wishing me a happy day, because that's how many will remember. Yeah, this is that age where very few care to remember anymore.

I can admit that outside of close relatives and best friends, I remember very few birthdays. Sometimes I feel ashamed of it while other times I'm too exhausted from work to care. The same happens when mines comes around. Some may remember because Facebook alerted them and if they say anything it won't extend past Facebook. They have their owns lives to focus on and it's totally understandable. However, a birthday is still special and still meant to be celebrated.

Today starts the year of being 28, so something special has to happen. I promise you there will be birthday food, birthday presents from myself (two of my friends also got me presents), a birthday outfit, and maybe birthday sex (I can use my imagination. A man isn't exactly needed for that).

Now before we continue you must read my annual Birthday Sex poem.
Warning: Its explicit.

All I want is a big dick nigga who will still his big dick in me.
But first he'll lick my pussy, stick his tongue all the way in it
Til its good and wet
And before I realize it I'll beg for him to slide between my legs
And if he plays hard to get I'll grab his head and rub it like a genie in a bottle
While guiding it to its rightful place.
Then he'll take over
Put me in total lust
As our bodies fall in sync I'll leave scratches on his back
Make the walls echo with our pleasure
It'll be about more than regular sex
Cause it'll be my birthday sex
And it'll be the best birthday present ever.

Cause it'll be my birthday sex. 

The poem has been updated also.

28 also marks the year of higher achievements. I'm tired of this city and how it tries so hard to box me up. This is the year of achievements; harder struggles, better experiences, maybe wild sex, and more of it all for my friends too.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Practicing Self Preservation

Be Safe. Be Careful. Stay out of trouble.

I don't understand this thing called safety anymore. Staying out of places were the crime rate is high is smart. Staying away from a place where people are sure to not like me and no one will defend me is the right thing to do. Wanting someone to come along with me wherever I go is also a good idea just in case I can't protect myself.

Protect Yourself.
I can't always count on someone to be with me. Most of the time I can't count on someone to just answer the phone. As a woman, the idea of being protected by someone has been stuffed down my throat. As a child, I was taught that my parents protect me. They couldn't protect me from everything though.

From a child on up, the idea that a man would come into my life and protect me has been stuffed down my throat. It's the Cinderella fantasy. Cinderella works her ass off for mean ass society until prince charming comes along and makes her a housewife. According to Sheryl Sandberg (currently reading Lean In), this has been the mindset for a long time. However, realistically being an independent woman might be tough, but it's necessary for survival. Plus, no guy under the age of 30 (maybe 40) wants to be the financial provider of the household. It's my generation's mindset. That's where feminism plays a high role.

Practice Self Preservation.
Feminism is not always a word that everyone can understand. The meaning is very simple if anyone looks it up. Feminism means being a woman that has to take care of herself in all circumstances. A lot of women are feminists, but for some reason men are intimidated by these words. While feminism intimidates men, they can relate to self preservation.

Self preservation for a man is chasing after money all the time. It's calling all women they don't understand, make them feel all kinds of insecure, or can't get in bed a heaux. Self preservation for a man is making others feel less than perfect because he can't comprehend his own imperfections. Men are good at thriving with his.

As a woman, self preservation is all about having thicker skin. I have to be able to stand up against the men whose favorite vocabulary words are heaux, shone, THOT, slut, Bitch, etc. Self preservation is being able to confidently say I'm better than others even if I'm really not. A couple days ago a girl in school to become a surgeon was attacked because most of her pictures have captions stating how she's better than the women who spend their nights in the club. She's just preserving her sanity the best way she knows how.

Know what works for yourself.
There is this saying that goes "The older you get the more you realize you know nothing." I do think that the older we get, the more we realize we don't know what's going on with the people around us. We learn knew things about people we've known for years and we meet lots of new people. However, while we are busy learning others, we also have to continually learn ourselves. In order to thrive in this world I have to know what works for myself. I have to know what is safe for me to do on my own, how to protect myself physically and emotionally, and what to tell myself so that I can make it another day without breaking down completely.

On the other hand, when all else fails breaking down completely works too.

Monday, October 27, 2014

His Only Woman (Short Story)

As she watched him sleep, she admired his handsomeness. He was naked, so nothing was left to her imagination. She didn't have to dig deep in her memory to picture him. All of him was there, relaxed, in her bed.

Cover had originally been on him, but as he became comfortable he removed it. His perfect six foot frame enticed her to wake him up. She had a pretty boy, but she loved it. The sight of his smooth brown skin made her remember why she loved being wrapped up in his arms. She wanted to use the moment to lay up under him, but there was more important work to do, like remind herself that he was totally hers.

He was her man. He was her man. He was her man. She repeated the thought in her head several times. There was no other woman for him. He was as faithful to their relationship as her. She was positive, but at the same time she had to make sure.

His phone sat on the nightstand near the bed charging up. She already knew that they weren't just communicating with each other on a daily basis. They talked to family members, co-workers, long-time friends. She knew all his friends. Everyone he communicated with was someone she had made sure to meet. Her presence had to be known, which also meant if he had any knew friends she had to meet them to. She grabbed his phone and started searching.

They trusted each other. While he had the password to her phone, she also had his. She typed in the password and started going through everything. There was no activity on his Facebook. He didn't have a twitter. His Instagram had no new notifications. She was about to put it back down when she decided to look through his texts. There were only a few exchanges between him and close friends about sports. Then she checked his contacts.

50 numbers in his phone. The last time she'd looked there were 49. Who was this 50th person? She stared at him. He was her man and her man only. She decided in her mind that she would call the number to make sure the other person knew that she was his woman and his only woman.

Triple 7 Challenge, Elevation of Hormones Excerpt

I was invited to do the Triple 7 Challenge by Brenda of Cake and Eggs.

This is a challenge where you take 7 lines of the 7th page of a draft you are working on and share it. I changed it a little and decided to share an excerpt from the 7th short story I ever posted on this blog. At the time I wanted to challenge my creative juices by writing a story inside of the blog draft and publishing right after I'd written the last line. The following was written in 2011.

Excerpt From Elevation of Hormones
He sits across the room with a table full of people. I sit against a wall alone sneaking peeks, admiring his beauty. Someone speaks and he laughs along with others. His smile mesmerizes me. It calls to me, tells me to pay attention. He speaks and others reply. I imagine his voice comes across strong and commands attention. Then he gets silent.

His silence is what heightens my senses most. What is he thinking?

I nominate Rae of Unititled1975 and Ariel of ArielSaysNow.

Grab Me

Searching For My Star