Friday, August 26, 2016

Memories Back Then (Poem)

I couldn't think of a title, so I titled it after T.I.'s song.

I miss you
I really do
Do you remember me?
Are you holding onto the memories
It's really just sexual chemistry
The sexual memories
That keeps me coming back to you
The sex more rough than sensual
The lust clouding my brain
Almost making me forget I don't belong to you
See I'm tryna feel love
And this shit
It ain't real love
The way you disappear after it happens
We stop talking and it feels like a distant memory
Or like something I only imagined
Was it real?
I need you to remind me that it really happened
But you're gone, living a life I'm not a part of
And that's probably my fault
You'll never be the man for me
That's why I need to stop playing myself
But yet I find myself missing you
Missing your voice
Missing your touch
I could go into a deeper description
But it makes it harder to forget you

Friday, August 12, 2016

The Price of Living Goes Up, The Price of Books Goes Down

There's an article online called The Great E-book Pricing Question. It's supposed to give authors and  future authors an idea of how to price their books online, but there is one problem with it. It skips over the part where the price of living has gone up. The price of everything has gone up, while the price of books continues to go down.

Houses have become more expensive. Rent increases every year. The price of fruit in grocery stores compete with the price of chips and other junk foods. Depending on what you like to eat, it sometimes cheaper to eat out than it is to cook. McDonalds no longer has the $1 menu and even at McDonalds you have to pay for water. There's a price on water.

Okay, if housing and food rising in price seems normal, remember the 6 pack underwear in Walmart and Target? Those went from $5 to now $9.99. Why does underwear cost more now? We need underwear. We also need pads, tampons, deodorant, razors (we all shave under our arms at least), and beauty products. However, when we look in the aisles for these things they have competitive prices that seem to get hire as the years go by.

However, when it comes to books the cost has dropped significantly. I remember 15 years ago when my parents would give me a $50 gift card to Borders bookstore (RIP) and I would have to budget. The smaller books were $9.99 at the time and hardback books started at $15. Sometimes I would go a little over budget with only four or five books and sometimes I would walk out with three books.

I'll admit that I don't read as much anymore. I used to be a book harder and take the time out to read every single book. Even during college years I took classes outside of my major that forced me to buy good literary fiction to read. Then I was introduced to real life. In this real life I work a job that feels like it takes up more of my time than it actually does. In real life I've had to deal with stress that buying a good book couldn't get rid of. In real life I've had to figure out how to budget paying bills with having social life and that hasn't left much room to splurge on good reading material. Even with all this real life living, I still buy books and the purchasing prices online have been real disappointing.

Authors have the same bills as everyone else, but if you look on Amazon and Kindle now there are books priced as low as 99 cents and some even free. In these cases if the author isn't a well known author whose name has been talked about in the streets heavily (the streets are Lifetime movies, HBO series, and other major networks), chances are that author isn't making enough to pay a bill.

Wait, this low pricing of books isn't just an attack on authors or good books. It's an attack on reading. How do we as a society let the price of everything else go up without a fight (well we fought for cheap gas prices) but we let the price of reading drop so low it essentially looks unimportant?

P.S. As an author, I judge people who look at book prices as too high.

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

BossLady Jaye~ Pay Per View (Mixtape)

"Pay attention. School's in session. They don't call me Boss for nothing. Let me teach you a lesson."

BossLady Jaye recently dropped her mixtape Pay Per View. Listen below.

The "Good Morning" Text~ Are You Waiting For Yours?

The last time I frequently received a "Good Morning" text from a man was when I was going to clubs on a regular basis.

I was bored. The only other constant activity going on with my schedule was going to work to get the bills paid. I felt old enough not to be under my parents roof anymore, so the consequence was paying for everything on my own. So every couple of weeks I would dress up and go to some club. Sometimes while out enjoying good music I would meet a man that was interested in me. Initially I would think that after asking for my number he would forget about me because most men out partying are drunk. However, it never failed. The next day I would wake up to a "Good Morning" text. After replying we would have a conversation involving getting to know each other a little more. I would continue to wake up to the texts until the particular guy moved on.
via We Heart It

That's always what happens with men that I meet in the club. They do these texts and phone calls where they seem like they are trying to get to know me. They are genuine "good morning" and even "good night" messages sometimes. Then they soon fade away like there was never any connection.

Actually it's not just men in the clubs. Have you ever met a man at the grocery store, while out walking, or even while getting food from a restaurant? They all tend to have the same pattern in the beginning. They start off with these sweet morning messages to you. Well, some of them do. They will text you throughout the day. They'll call you just to hear your voice before you fall asleep.

However, as time goes on you barely hear from them. You check your text messages. You send them texts back. Sometimes you receive an immediate reply and sometimes it takes them days to get back to you. That is not an exaggeration. You check your call log. You call them and they may or may not answer the phone. You check social media and they've been updating a lot. But every man that does this claims he's still interested in you as time goes on. He just uses the excuse that he has a busy schedule.

I'll admit that I'm selfish and when a man is not calling or texting me regularly, the first thing I imagine is he must be entertaining some other woman. I imagine he was never serious in the first place with every sweet word that he said, so I give up on him. Well, before I totally give up on him, I start sending the texts and making the phone calls to just see how he responds and to keep up the routine. After all I'm a woman who needs continual affection, whether it's affection through touch or some quick words.

So my questions to you is are you waiting for you text saying, "Good Morning?" When dating, is it important to hear from the man you're getting to frequently? As time goes on, do you care how much the two of you are speaking?

Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm dating to get married it seems important to keep the communication going.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Woman Manifested: Fearing The Next President

This is recording number three of the Woman Manifested podcast.

Friday, July 22, 2016

It Could Have Been Us, But....

It could have been us taking a walk around the park, talking, laughing and just enjoying each other's company.

We could have met at a restaurant. There's a million of them to choose from in this big city. We could have enjoyed good food and got to know more about each other afterwards.

It could have been as easy meeting at the library, or skating ring, or standing outside in the parking lot for an hour talking because I don't really know you and don't want you in my house. I'm not open enough to hug on everyone I know, so I'm not interested in netflix and chilling with people I still consider strangers. That shouldn't be hard to understand.

However, it is because as quickly as a date was planned, you got lazy and ran. You could have at least cancelled, but that was also too hard for you to do.

Ugh! I know this routine. You don't bring up the date you asked to go on, stop reaching out to me for a little while, and then one day speak to me again hoping I forgot about your previous bullshit move. You get confused when I say no, but your confusion doesn't matter. I'm just not interested anymore.

This is a true story from a woman manifested. It also a routine I'm too familiar with. I don't understand why men do this, but then think I'm supposed to pretend that they haven't already hurt my feelings once before with this damn game.

I go more into detail with difficulties of dating in my book Woman Manifested, which is available on Amazon. Purchase your copy today.