Thursday, March 28, 2013

Eve Talks Upcoming Album Lip Lock

"You ain't always gotta take the first card you're date. In this life you can represent yourself."-- Eve

It's been 11 years since rapper Eve released an album, but as of May 14th she'll be back with Lip Lock. However, Eve doesn't want us to compare Lip Lock to her previous sounds. According to The Juice, this album will be fun.

"I'm not trying to relive any moments of my life. I'm in a new place in my life. I'm almost a new artist"
This CD will include 12 songs. Features will include artists such as Missy Elliott, Swizz Beatz, and Snoop Dogg,. Eve's lead single Make It Out This Town includes a feature from Gabe Saporta. Check out Make It Out This Town below.

After listening to Make It Out This Town, are you anticipating Eve's album Lip Lock?

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Never Should Have (Poem)

Around 24 hours ago while listening to Ashanti's new song Never Should Have, a poem came to mind. I quickly wrote it and placed it under the music video. However, then I realized it belonged in a post by itself. It's from the heart. In was really caught up in my emotions. Enjoy!

Never Should Have

You never should have approached me.
Never should have caught my attention
I should have noticed the signs
You were very self-centered
But I was willing to listen
Even though you were destined to use me
Empty your emotions into my mind
Make me feel sorry for you
In ways make me care for you
Even though it was obvious from the start
You were destined to break my heart
You never should have touched me
Never should have held me
Never should have kissed me
Never should have sexed me
And I never should have let you
You became so close
And of all the Bitches in the world,
I probably needed it the most
Needed your passion to feel me up
Needed to be left with superficial words
Needed to think someone other than me thought of me as sexy
Damn and you probably don’t feel the same
Probably think of me as just a memory
Just another number lost in your iPhone
And even though I never should have given it to you
Never should have let you come over, sleepovers
Never should have let our passion collide
My plan was to make you feel everything I felt inside
Even though I’m trying to sort through my scorned heart
I’d probably do it all over again

Preacher's Daughters Episode Three

Episode three of Preacher's Daughters has started off where episode two left off. Taylor is forever grounded for lying and going to a hotel with boys. Kolby is disappointed in her older sister for having sex before marriage. I thought that didn't matter in 2013. Olivia is still digesting that she let a wack ass dude get her pregnant. Can I cuss in a post about church folks? This show is wild enough for it.

Taylor Coleman
Taylor was initially grounded. However, her parents decided to lighten up and let her go bowling with friends. As soon as she goes out, the topic of sex comes up. Taylor is okay with kissing, but not with sex. She wears a purity ring to represent no sexual activity until marriage. How long will that last? While with her friends at the bowling alley, her ex that is into illegal activities shows up. He seems like he wants to start some trouble too. Is Taylor still tempted? Bad boys ain't no good, but they are a lot of fun.

There is a confessional. Taylor says men want relationships. Her father says men want relationship. Who do you agree with?

19 minutes in and Taylor is still at the bowling alley. However, she is leaving to make her curfew. Her ex is flirting, but since the friends she is hanging with are church folk she turns him down. She doesn't want anyone running back to her parents with stories.

At some point Taylor decides to open up to her dad. She asks him if she can go on a date. When asked his name, he says it sounds demonic. Her ex boy does have a ghetto name.

"I'm not going to let Taylor go on a date with some demon. It's like putting her in the hands of the devil. It's not gonna happen."

I tried to get the quote as accurate as possible. Taylor's dad is serious about her not dating. Maybe if she wouldn't have lied he'd be more open. Maybe.

"As a young man I walked in the lust of my flesh."

Taylor's dad makes some confessions. One is that Taylor and her step sister were born around the same time. He's a pastor. His daughters have different mothers, but they are around the same age. He married Taylor's mom, but around that time at a side chick. He was a wild man. He couldn't keep his penis in his pants. Did condoms not exist back then?

Taylor's dad rethinks everything and decides to let her date. The catch is that it has to be a double date with him and her mom. He wants her to know what dating feels like before she gets to college and is lost. Hah! I was one of those lost girls, so I agree.

Kolby Koloff
As much as Kolby is annoyed with her mother, she hangs with her a lot. She goes to her radio show, get manicures and pedicures, and is very open with her. Maybe Kolby isn't as bothered by her life as she tries to come off. However, Kolby is still confused about her older sister.

At some point in the show Kolby's sister invites her over for arts and crafts. She doesn't want her sister disappointed. They talk it out. These girls are so emotional about the topic of sex. It is a big deal, but wow still. Kolby says she wants to be a virgin until marriage to make God proud. That's deep for a 16 year old.

Micah, the boyfriend, makes an appearance toward the end of the show. Kolby is nervous because she is thinking of all the evil temptations that comes with dating. The odd part is her boyfriend never mentioned anything evil. She's jumping. Men say we women jump to conclusions a whole lot. She's just a teen and she's already on the confusing route. Damn, I feel bad because Micah was genuinely hurt.

Olivia Perry
Olivia is dealing with the father of her son possibly taking him away from her. Pastor Mark Perry is continually saying they just have to pray.

While working, a guy name Frankie walks into Olivia's store. She says he is from her days of wild partying. He wants to hang out. He compliments her on her shape. She blushes as she accepts. While on the date they talk a couple things. What's shown on television is him asking her if she still does crazy stuff. She laughs throughout the conversation. He also brings up the baby a lot. Dang, he's not even the father. Although a good man is a man who can bring up your child naturally in the conversation even if the child's not his.

Toward's the end Olivia's parents want to know who she was with. She is truthful. They thought she was wrong for hanging with him. He is after all from her troubled past. They also thinks that just because she's grown, she needs to let them know what she is doing. She does still live at home.

I'll end the post on my favorite quote of the episode.

"I have total faith in her in one sense, but loves a wild card."-- Pastor Mark Perry

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Adaku~ Or You Can (Music Video)

"Or you can lay your head on my big ass robe."

For the first time I'm hearing Neo Soul artist Aadaku. Her music is beautiful, breathtaking, and refreshing. Where has she been all the times I've spent stressing?

Just about everyday I listen to a new artist and today it just happens to be Adaku. The song is called "Or You Can" and it's very romantic. Check out the music video below.

Fantasia Lose To Win

Since Ashanti put me in my feelings, I decided to stay there for a while. Another new song that gets me into deep thought is Fantasia's Lose To Win. The words are too close to real life.

Fantasia's main problem has been trying to take care of others before dealing with how she feels. In recent interviews she has claimed she her attitude is changing. While I want to be happy, the reality is those of us that put others first will forever be on that path of struggling with putting our own happiness first. We care too much.

Ashanti Never Should Have (Plus A Poem By Me)

Ashanti has me wanting to buy a bottle of Hennessy and drink away after listening to her new song Never Should Have. I'm in my feelings. Judge me, but also listen to Never Should Have and you'll be right there with me.

Plus a poem by me

Never Should Have
You never should have approached me.
Never should have caught my attention
I should have noticed the signs
You were very self-centered
But I was willing to listen
Even though you were destined to use me
Empty your emotions into my mind
Make me feel sorry for you
In ways make me care for you
Even though it was obvious from the start
You were destined to break my heart
You never should have touched me
Never should have held me
Never should have kissed me
Never should have sexed me
And I never should have let you
You became so close
And of all the Bitches in the world,
I probably needed it the most
Needed your passion to feel me up
Needed to be left with superficial words
Needed to think someone other than me thought of me as sexy
Damn and you probably don’t feel the same
Probably think of me as just a memory
Just another number lost in your iPhone
And even though I never should have given it to you
Never should have let you come over, sleepovers
Never should have let our passion collide
My plan was to make you feel everything I felt inside
Even though I’m trying to sort through my scorned heart
I’d probably do it all over again

Men Will Be Intimidated (Kimora Lee Talks Men Being Intimidated)

Kimora Lee recently spoke to UK's Daily Mail on several topic, including men being intimidated by women.

"Well, I think they are sometimes [intimidated], but men are intimidated by a lot of things, you know, such as jobs and bit of determination. They have a lot of insecurities about who we are, what we have, what we look like, what we’ve accomplished and what we’re capable of because we’re fabulous and capable of doing so much and juggling so much every day.[...]People might be mad I’m saying this, but [men] do have a lot of hang-ups. But that shouldn’t deter you ladies from being great! You don’t have to dumb down – you just have to find a clever, good, secure man. I’ve found a couple – I’ve been lucky – but it’s probably hard for everybody to find that true love of a good man."

At some point after getting my college degree, starting to make real money, and finally be able to afford an apartment that didn't involve having a roommate go half on the rent I realized men might be intimidated.

Part of this realization involved still knowing men who were broke and living with their parents. Some of them didn't even have their own car or phone. Now how the Hell do we talk if he don't have a number to give me?   Some of it also involved meeting men whose goals didn't stretch past 5 miles of where they already were. I, on the other hand, would talk about my dreams of moving and leave them speechless. Oops! Basically meeting men that have less than me has made me realize that they will be intimidated. Well, there was one similar occurrence where I ruined any chances of a man trying to approach me one night.

It was a Saturday night. This particular club was lame and not crowded at all. However, I was willing to make the best of it. Men were looking. Some spoke. Then at some point one of my songs came on. I had to dance. I had to do more than dance. I was feeling myself a lot. I think it was that song "Make It Rain" so I pulled some money out of my purse. Then I threw the money at myself. Then men around were laughing and shocked at the same time. Yeah, this girl (me) had enough nerve to pull out my own money and toss it at myself. A couple of them did speak after that. No one asked for my number. They probably thought they couldn't handle me.

So men will be intimidated, but sometimes we can do things to intimidate them too.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Call Movie Recap

The following is a spoiler for the movie The Call. If you are interested in watching it do not read it. If you have already watched, continue to read.

On my day off I went to see The Call. At the beginning of 2012 I made it a goal to become a movie junkie. At some point that goal went down the drain as my attention was stolen away by practically anything else. However, now it's 2013 and I'm ready to try this again. This meant that when The Call first previewed I had to make time to see it.

The Call (starring Halle Berry) starts with an emergency operator name Jordan getting a call from a young girl claiming someone is breaking into her house. The operator gets all of the girl's information while telling her to hide from the stranger breaking in, but then panics when the call is disconnected. This loss of connection happens after the girl alerts her that the intruder seems to be leaving. Instead of leaving the situation alone the operator calls back. The ringing of the phone alerts the intruder to where the girl is and he kidnaps her. Jordan is distraught and not sure if she can continue her job afterward. She switches to just training new workers after the girl's body is found. Intense, right?

Well it gets more intense. While training new workers, Jordan tells a co-worker whose been there for six months to offer advice. That co-worker tries, but shows her lack of what to do when she gets a call from a girl whose been kidnapped from the mall. The problem is the girl is trapped in a trunk and using a prepaid phone. How did she end up there? The kidnapper, whose name is Michael, notices her alone in the mall and makes plans to get her. A whole lot happens after she gets put in that trunk. She is able to knock out a tail light, which alerts people to something suspicious. She pours paint to leave a trail and get someone's attention. Some stupid man ends up dead because of his lack of calling 911 first. Actually two  people die in the process of police trying to spot her. Oh, but guess which policeman was leading the investigation.

Jordan's boyfriend just happened to be a policeman and he was assigned to the case. Not only that, but he is  played by actor Morris Chestnut. While Chestnut did not get much film time, his character was not as boring as his usual type cast roles. Usually he puts us to sleep with his boring voice, but this time we wanted him to find the missing girl. He didn't. However he did find out that Michael had an older sister who died of cancer. The girls being kidnapped and killed resembled the dead sister. This is the part where the big screen movie turns into an old school classic Lifetime suspense movie.

Jordan, who knows not to become detached to the calls, gets extremely obsessed with this case. She is so obsessed that she goes looking for the missing girl herself. She was smarter than the police. While the police looked into the abandoned man's childhood home, she managed to find a hidden door under the grass. The hidden door led to where Michael took the girls and killed them. The way he killed them was by cutting off the skulls to get their hair. Why? I'm still not sure of that. Maybe he was trying to create new hair for his dead sister. She died when he was a kid though. He was a 36 year old man. None of it made sense. Anyway, the women won in the end. Michael, on the other hand, disappeared. Well, they made it so it would look as if he disappeared. See, classic Lifetime suspense movie.

The Call was good. You can never go wrong with a Lifetime story line, unless you hate Lifetime story lines. I just wish Morris Chestnut would have had more movie time. He needs to break out of the sexy boring man story line. He's starting to look like a hard working trophy husband with no personality.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

K'LA Everyday People Mixtape

Def Jam artist K'LA is back with her 3rd mixtape called Everyday People. It features 21 diverse tracks where she speaks her mind. Some songs show off her rap skills while others show off her beautiful singing talent.

K'LA originally came into the game as a rapper. It was on her first mixtape that she confessed no one had ever told her she had singing talent until she started making her dreams come true. As a writer, I can't help but look up to her. Her music is so honest.

Click on the link to download the Everyday People mixtape.

My Man R. Kelly Is Messing Up

Well, in some of my dreams R. Kelly is the man that has stolen my heart away. He plays his songs and does freaky things to me. Peeing is not one of those. Wait...

That's not the point of this post. Sometimes R. Kelly seems to be doing really good and then there are times where his personal life is looking terrible. One of those terrible aspects that was released to the public recently was the foreclosure auctioning off of his once $5 million home in Chicago.

What happened?

According to JP Morgan Chase, as of last year R. Kelly still owed $3 million on the home. During the foreclosure auctioning Chase did a bid of $950,000 and submitted the only offer. Ugh, this is disappointing. This is what drives property values down. People need to stop buying expensive houses if they are not going to make the payments.

Roland Martin Leaving CNN?

CNN has already gotten rid of Soledad O'Brien. As of April 6th Roland Martin will be gone from the network too. His contract is not being renewed. However, he has let audiences know that he is not disappearing for good. Below is his official statement to the public.

"I’m getting a kick out of folks who think I’m retreating to a monastery when my @cnn deal expires April 6.y voice won’t be silenced, folks. I will continue my daily segment to the 8 million listeners on @TJMShow; will continue @TVOneTV #WashingtonWatchand my syndicated column"

Preacher's Daughters Episode Two

Episode two of Preacher's Daughters came quick. Maybe the week just went by fast. Well, the drama is being turned up a notch in each family.
Taylor Coleman 
Taylor Coleman is a liar and her parents haven't realized it yet. However, they are trying to lighten up on her. They see she needs some freedom, so they are working on giving that to her.

Since Taylor has a little freedom, in episode two she goes to a party at some hotel. Her parents think she is at a friend's house. Her ex boyfriend that she might get back with is there. This guy is a smoker, drinker, and probably does other drugs. Taylor says none of his friend's are the type of men she would let meet her dad. He is definitely the opposite of what her parents want for her too. Too bad she doesn't care. Oh, and of course Taylor's parents finds out she lied. That alibi was not tight enough.

The next day Taylor is asked what happened at her friend Quanti's house. She says "Same Old" and tries to change the subject. However, her mom really wants to know what happened so she talks to this girl Quanti's mom. Nosy ass parents. Her friend's mom said no one was at her house. Her friend's alibi was that they were at Taylor's house. Then the friend breaks down and tells the truth.

How is embarrassing is it for a pastor to find out her daughter was with a boy in a hotel room while getting her hair done? Everyone hears as she finds out for the first time. Not only are the people at the salon finding out. It is also being recorded on camera for the world to see.

Then the dad finds out. He all of a sudden goes back to his rule of not giving a child too much room. He is a stupid man. Not giving his child any room to breathe is what has her lying to him in the first place. Stupid Man.

"What happened at Quanti's house?" They tried to take the higher road. They really wanted Taylor to confess. She kept lying. They're stuck on what Christians do. Taylor just wants to have fun. She did feel bad for betraying her mom's trust.
Olivia Perry 
Olivia Perry, on the other hand, is working on finding out who the father of her child is. That has to be devastating for her. She's the daughter of a pastor. Her father has always expected her to act upon what the bible says. She didn't. She got pregnant. She has a beautiful child and the options of baby daddies she chose sucks. Even with knowing who her child's father is, there is no guarantee that man will stay in that baby's life.

"Nothing can separate us from the love of God." Throughout her struggles Olivia is very positive. In the first episode she gave her parent's more bad news and their reaction was to pray. I see why she is so positive. Episode two shows Olivia trying to get more involved with the church. Pastor Mark Perry also confesses that as a teen he smoked weed. All pastors have a past.

So Olivia is trying to gradually get back into a normal life. One step is doing hookah with her friends. That can be relaxing sometimes. Then toward's the end of the episode Olivia finds out Jay, the guy she really did not want to be her child's father, is the father. Part of her fear is him being an absentee father. The other part is that he will have visitation rights. She should have never had sex with the man.

Kolby Koloff
Kolby Koloff is the daughter who continually gets embarrassed by her mom's insistent sex talks. I think she is overreacting.

In episode two her family gets together for photos and bonding. Well, one of her sisters is throwing a party. Kolby's boyfriend, Micah, also shows up to meet the family. He is a sweetheart. Although he is nice, Kolby's mom stalks them instead of paying attention to the rest of her family.

The interesting part is Kolby talks to Micah about their expectations. Damn, she's a teen talking about boundaries in a relationship, but some of us older people can't even do that. Who knew the teen of a pastor could do something much smarter than a lot of us adults?

That question is so real to this episode. While Kolby is being responsible, her sister Teryn decides to announce that she wasn't a virgin when she was married. However, how many people wait until they are married to have sex? One of the preacher's daughters confessed she wasn't a virgin before marriage. Her mom was in disbelief. Kolby was so shocked she cried. Her perception of her big sister has changed.

These people have such high expectations of their children. However, their children are not even trying to live up to those expectations. There is a lesson here.

Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe Featuring Jay-Z and Trinidad James

"I been on my vibe like 20 years straight"

At SXSW a preview of Kendrick Lamar's "Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe" remix was released. The remix includes Trinidad James and Jay-Z. Now the finally version has been released. What do you think?

Monday, March 18, 2013

New Show Fashion Queens On Bravo Network

Sunday night a new show, Fashion Queens, premiered on Bravo network. This show features Bevy Smith, Derek J., and Miss Lawrence. While they were probably excited to get their own show, the rest of us were stuck wondering who co-signed this hot ass mess.

Fashion Queens is nothing but some insecure people trying to make themselves feel better by throwing shade at others. Wait, it's not even shade. They are just purely mean with no comedy behind it. For instance Bevy, Derek J., and Miss Lawrence all had some comments about natural hair that quickly offended the twitter world.

This natural hair comments were originally toward Solange. Bevy started out by saying something nice. However, Derek J. quickly expressed his hate for natural hair. Apparently he feels that natural hair isn't for everyone. What? So is he trying to say Brazilian hair was made for African American women? I'm confused. See, this is why hair advice should not be taken from men. Miss Lawrence also had some words, but I wasn't paying attention.

This first episode of Fashion Queens is horrible. The only good thing about the show was Miss Lawrence's red boots. Those boots are the cutest. However, the rest of the show sucked. I won't be watching next week. Will you?

Wait, maybe the fact that we wouldn't like the show is why Bravo has made it a limited series. This is the first of only three episodes. It's a trial run. They've failed so far.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Trying To Be Superwoman

I'm not your superwoman. I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down and think that everything's okay. Wait, maybe I am that girl.

Have you ever been that "YES" girl to everyone? I  have. I've said yes to eating, hanging out, and sleeping wherever others suggested. Forget about eating out at my suggested place. I'll just go one day by myself. Yes, we can eat at your favorite restaurant that we frequent all the time. Yes, I'll always drive to your place. You never have to come to me. You never have to be the designated drive. For that man, yes I'll come to your place late at night. You don't have to leave your comfortable spot. I'll eventually get tired of this, but you won't hear "No" come out of my mouth. Instead I'll just become one-deep and you won't notice because my presence probably never meant anything to you anyway. I've said yes so many times that I wish that word could be removed from  my vocabulary. However, there are moments when it's important.

Have you ever been that friend everyone thought they could depend on? I've been that friend a lot. There's one person who rarely calls me, but when she does it's because she needs someone to listen to all her issues. I can actually call her, but my call will never get returned. Eventually when she does call it's not to see what was on my mind. It is because she has a new issue and knows I will listen. Being that friend that people can depend on can also correspond with being the one people feel like they can walk all over too. I have friends who love to joke around. They joke so much that it can be hard to tell when they're serious. However, one crossed the line recently with his jokes. He joked upon one of my poems. My poems are my babies. Even if a person disagrees with the content, they shouldn't make a joke on it. What kind of friend is this person if they'd go so far to disrespect my work just because they found it funny? However, I put up with this kind of stuff. I don't want anyone to know they've bothered me that much.

Have you ever been that girl that no man wants as his girlfriend? Do they not see me as girlfriend/wife material? If it happens once or twice it's the guy. If men continue to approach you with the same lines, maybe it's you. Maybe it's me. I admit I'm dedicated to my goals and I'm the only one paying my bills. However, there are ways a man could benefit me in my life. I could benefit a man too. Instead of that happening, they just keep approaching me with the same lines that pulls us physically together, but emotionally far apart. Hold up. I actually say no a lot more than yes, but the no moments leads to a lot of months of being one-deep. Although when I say yes, it seems as if that certain man does everything he can think of to tear me down emotionally. I try to be superwoman and pretend I don't hear the words. I hate telling a man that what he said hurt me.

Have you ever really found yourself one-deep? Within that last year I've done a lot of outings by myself. This includes movies, restaurants, and clubs. Although going out by myself can be relaxing, it's odd how people have slowly disappeared. My work schedule has changed too, which adds to this. I've used that schedule to read more blogs, books, and focus more on where my writing is going. However, sometimes these moments by myself can be really lonely. They (I don't know who exactly) say the road to success has a lot of lonely moments. If I'm supposed to be lonely to get to success I won't complain out loud.

I'm not your superwoman. I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down and think that everything's okay. Wait, maybe I am that girl. However, maybe that should be kept to myself.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Trey Songz Fumble Music Video

Like many men, Trey Songz has fumbled some woman's heart. At least that's what he leads us to believe at the beginning of his Fumble music video.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Tell Me Am I Losing You (Poem)

I'm currently in a writing mood. Well, I could just be in my feelings too. In the following I was thinking about how men come and go so easily. They play with our emotions without always realizing they are playing games. They tell us what they want us to hear even though sometimes we just need to hear the truth. 

As I write the following poem I was listening to both Losing You by Solange and Fumble My Heart by Trey Songz. Enjoy!!! 

Tell me the truth
Am losing you?
From the start they said you’d fumble my heart
They said you’d continually take until you tore me apart
Work by your schedule to take me out
But the dinners were nice
Help you keep a clean house
But I wasn't your girlfriend yet
Give you passionate love making sessions
Invest all my energy in making the moments special
But you thought we were just having sex
And you don’t want the sex as much anymore
Nor are you calling and texting as much
Is there another girl?
Tell me the truth
Am I losing you?

Tell me the truth
Did I ever have you?
From the start they told me you were bad news
You've been striving for success
A potential husband to financially provide for the house
And I've been fighting to be by your side
Fighting to continually stroke your ego
Fighting to help your goals come true
After all you’re the best at what you do
At least that’s what we should tell you
But the more you work the more you focus on yourself
Do you even see me anymore?
Going to your events looking like a groupie
And falling asleep in your bed
But for some reason you’re not there
And it hurts to be ignored
But I don’t wanna give up on you
So just tell me the truth
Did I ever have you?

Tell me the truth
Do we exist anymore?
I don’t know why I fight it
Clearly we are through
But let me know
Do we still have a chance at being friends?
I’m trying to hold onto our happy memories
I can handle sex no more
But can we even continue to stand in the same room?
I've given so much of myself to you
What is it that I have left?
Tell me
Can you give me some of my energy back?
I don’t know what I did wrong
I don’t know how I hurt you
Can you reassure me that I’ll make it on my own?
Tell me the truth
I want to eventually move on


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Premiere of Preacher's Daughters

A new series called Preacher's Daughters premiered on Lifetime this week. Is Lifetime trying to beat Vh1 with wild reality television? We're about to find out.

Preachers Daughters features several different preachers struggling to raise their daughters. While the parents are trying to preach a message to the church, the daughters are struggling to find their freedom. Many of these daughters clash with their parents for various reason. The first episode hi-lighted two of the biggest problems, sex and dating.


Taylor Coleman is the daughter of Ken and Marie Coleman. While her parents are trying to preach the words of the bible, she focuses on dating and fantasizing about how free porn stars are. Her parents are super controlling. "You can't give them too much rope because they'll hang themselves." At the beginning of the episode Pastor Ken Coleman makes this statement. However, throughout the episode it seems like not giving his daughter enough freedom is leading her to hang herself. She tries to be an Angelic daughter, but she's lying to them about where she is going.

The statement of fantasizing about possibly being a porrn star was taken out of context to me. Generally when a girl is being put in a controlled environment, she fantasizes about something totally opposite of her life. A few girls might take it seriously, but most are doing it in a joking manner. She was joking her her sister. Her parents couldn't see the joke, because they are over-protective.

(I fantasized about being a video vixen and my parents are not even preachers.)


Olivia Perry is the daughter of Pastor Mark Perry. Her issues are she's had her license suspended for doing drugs and getting into a car accident while under the influence. She also ended up pregnant and is not sure who the father is. Her son could either be a guy name Shawn or a guy name Jay. Her family, while stunned, is very supportive.

They are not just struggling with Olivia though. One of her sisters is a weed smoker, so her parents are really struggling to get their children down the right path. The other sister doesn't seem as bad, but none of them are wearing their promise rings. In some churches their are ceremonies that end with teens getting promise rings that are supposed to signify them not having sex until marriage.

(My church had it several times when I was a teen. My parents never let me attend tough. It was always around the same time as college homecomings.)


Kolby Koloff is the daughter Pastor Nikita Koloff. Their story is a little different than the others because Kolby's parents are divorce. Plus her mother Victoria Koloff, who is also a pastor, is more of a nightmare than her father. During the first episode Victoria embarrasses her daughter with lots of sex talk. She even gives her daughter's potential boyfriend a survey of 10 dating questions.

This show  is wild, but not in a Vh1 type of way. I can handle this craziness without losing some intelligence. I'm looking forward to more episodes.

Kelly Rowland Kisses Down Low Video

I like my kisses down low
Make me arch my back
But I don't beg
And I'm not gonna ask
He's just gonna stick it in first
Be real good with stroke
As we take turns
Switching positions
Creating a nice rhythm
Music to each others ears
Together we'll cum
It'll feel like heaven
Leave me so wet
But before we rest he'll do more
Dive in head first
He'll tease with kisses
Then please with his mouth
Stroke just right with his tongue
Until I cum on his face

The above is all me.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Lights Out- Mirage512 Ft. Side Effect

Philadelphia and Austin, Texas has come together in a song called Lights Out.
Lights Out is just one of the many tracks off of the mixtape The Soulhop Era Vol. 1. You can find this mixtape and others by Mirage512 on Datpiff.

Alone Together- Daley Ft. Marsha Ambrosius

"You're the perfect plan I never thought of." I'm so late, but this song is now on repeat. 

The First Feel Of Passion

He was supposed to walk me home.

It would have been a quick walk across the street and then quickly exchanging good-byes. How did he end up in my apartment? How did he end up in my room? Did I invite him in?

He was fun. He was trouble. In the midst of time laughter was exchanged, pictures were taken, and an intense make-out session happened.

He was confident. He was cocky. I contemplated that he may have been too much for me. But I didn't hesitate. We got to know each other a little mentally and a little physically. Physically he was all over me. I wasn't experienced so I just copied his moves. I needed to be taught. Could he teach me? What was I doing?

I was caught up.Should I snap out of it? This guy was intense. It was the first time I'd ever felt that kind of intensity from a man. He was into me. He was on top of me. I felt like we were moving too fast. How did he feel? Before I could ask, the phone rang.

As my best friend yelled into the phone "Are you okay?" for some reason I tried to say yes and in saying he was about to head back that way I called him by the wrong name. He laughed. I had just met him the day before. It was my first experience with passion. It was also the first time I questioned that I could potentially be a heaux. That was years ago.

I'm not a heaux. However, recently I read this book called "Mad 'Cause She Ain't You." In the book there was a character who loved sex, but had a lot of trouble keeping a man. Towards the end, her baby daddy told her she was the type that men had fun with. She wasn't marriage material. I often question if a man is around me for the fun, but not because he could see me as his wife.

I love that feeling of passion, but I also want to be passionate with a man that takes me seriously.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

5 AM In Toronto-- Drake

For what seems like forever we've heard Drake talk about being from the bottom. Even though as kids we watched him have a successful role as Jimmy on Degrassi, we accepted his lies. Finally he's moving on with a different song call 5 AM In Toronto.

5 AM in Toronto is a diss record directed at an unknown suspect. Who could Drake have beef with? Rumors around the internet say it's his protegree The Weeknd.

What's Wrong With Being His Only Woman?

What's really wrong with being the only woman in his life? The older I get the more being some man's only woman becomes an issue. Why is this an issue? At 26 I'm still being approached by men who believe in keeping their options open. They claim I'm pretty, smart, etc. but after a couple times of hanging out they throw out the "staying single" card. 

This staying "single card" usually comes in the form of "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." My first thought is always "Then why the fuck you approach me and keep talking to me?" However, I don't say that out loud. Maybe I should one day. Instead I shake my head and ask the guy why. Most men don't have logical excuses for saying this. It's just how they feel. I understand. What I don't understand is why they think I'm going to be okay with playing the side chick role. 

If your man is not claiming you as his woman, but y'all are dating and fucking (or maybe just fucking), you are a side chick. What's wrong with being a side chick? Well you are sharing him. If he is putting you in a category as one of his chicks, then he could be with me too. You don't know my sexual history, probably don't know his, and you are putting your body at risk. Wait, is that just my fear? I think about this every time a man says those words "I'm not looking for a relationship right now," but he still wants to be involved with me. How many other women is he seeing? Could he be putting me at risk for an STD if I continue to see him? This is not a game. 

Another problem is I'm supposed to be getting to know this guy. If he's seeing two or three other women I don't have his full attention. He can't have my full attention because clearly no real bonding is being done. The bonding was broken when I found out he was preoccupying his time with other women. Maybe my problem is when I start seeing a man, I assume he should only be seeing me also. It takes away a lot of questions. 

The hardest part of this is I'm selfish. I want what I want. If I'm dating a man, it means I really like him. Therefore I know that I want him to be only seeing me. I'm we're having sex, there is absolutely no reason he should be going to another woman's house tomorrow and having sex with her. He's with me after all. 

Actually, I'm a good woman. I've worked hard for everything I have. I live a very fun life and love hard. I deserve a man that will do that same. He should provide me with joy, happiness, and comfort. A situation where he's seeing other women offers no joy, happiness, or comfort. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Strong Black Woman (Poem)

Everyday whether online or in the real world the phrase strong black woman finds a way to stand out. Recently Keri Hilson had an emotional breakdown on twitter. Years ago she may or may not have had some drama towards Beyonce. At that time Beyonce's stans jumped on a hate train and decided they'd forever taunt Keri Hilson. They stuck to their word. When Ms. Hilson tweets something, has a public interview, or just shows up somewhere people start up the taunting. While she has never spoken on the verbal abuse before, she definitely showed all of us that the negativity was getting to her. Her words inspired me to write a poem about the strong black woman. Enjoy!

Strong Black Woman

I don’t want to be a strong black woman anymore
Being strong means to handle anything
Being blind to the hatred
Shedding no tears
Putting on a pretty girl mask
Having no fears
I don’t want to be strong
After dealing with years of verbal abuse
Being told I’m not pretty enough
Somebody said she’s better
Not having the perfect skin
Nor the perfect body
Being told nobody wants me
Because somebody thought it was funny
If being strong means to smile anyway
When love or lack thereof comes around
And it knocks me down
If being a strong woman means getting back up
And pretending like nothing ever happened
Someone else can have the title
I’m tired
Tired of trifling ass men
In the beginning, they act like gentleman
Throwing out nice compliments
Suggesting going on dates
But then they never make anything happen
And I’m tired of the daddies that forgot to comfort their daughters
He claimed he’d wipe her tears away when she was hurt
And keep the bad guys away with his overprotective interrogations
But after handling finances
And getting out of 12 hour work days
That daddy is nowhere to be found
And I’m tired of the mamas pushing their daughters to be strong black women
She’s only two
Teach her how to cook and clean like her mama
And teach her how to look up to her daddy
Teach her about meeting her prince charming
Don’t teach her how to be strong
How to pay all the bills on her own
So one night she’ll find herself at the bar
She’ll be flirting with some man
But the drinks will be on her
Cause even he’s fallen into the myth of the strong black woman
He’ll think she can handle it all on her own
He’ll think that he’ll have to do nothing to get her
He’ll devise of plan to get her out of her dress
Or maybe he’ll just lead her on and never actually call
But it’ll be okay because she’s a strong black woman
She can take rejection
She can handle pain
See don’t teach her that
She’ll never grow up to be what you want her to be
Instead she might turn into me
But I don’t want to be that woman anymore
Someone else can have that title
I’m tired

Monday, March 4, 2013

Paying For Flirtation (Poem)

He has a big dick but he's afraid to use it.
Even though the older lady next door is tempted to ride it, he keeps hiding.
Late at night and early in the morning he can feel her spying.
She watches, but she's not shy.
Every chance she gets, she'll express her interests.
"Bring your body down. Let me touch your body."
He'd rather a younger woman, someone more fresh.
The older lady doesn't care.
She won't stop until she gets what she wants.
She even offers to pay.
The money is tempting, so he takes it.
$500 to get a feel.
$50 to let her lands linger.
$20 more cause he reacts.
$200 extra for sex.
She's horny.
She admits she's wet.
He's hard, but he's scared.
Embarrassed he refuses.

Haha, this is my bored writing.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Putting Everything Off Until Later

I needed a break. My body has been desperately screaming for a break. One way of resting it was getting rid of that friend w/ benefits. The sex was good, but he was just taking more energy out of me. I needed energy to be put into me some way. My body was screaming to be revitalized. I chose to plan a break for later. Well, when your body needs rest it'll either come voluntary or involuntary. In my case it has been involuntary.

I caught the flu or some similar virus.

Approximately a week ago a cold front came through the area. During that day it from from nice and sunny to cold and windy. Even though I'm always equipped with a heavy jacket, it still caught me off guard. My already tired body just wasn't prepared for it. The next day I woke up coughing and sneezing. It was the type of coughing and sneezing that with some rest usually goes away. However, in my case it just got worse. Wednesday was my off day so I nursed the cold that was forming. Then Thursday, while I felt no different, I went to work. But wait...

I did feel different on Thursday. It was worse. I was still sick and my voice was gone. I had woke up to my voice fading in and out. I still went to work though. No one  suggested I go home either. After a few questions at the beginning of the day they eventually left me alone. I couldn't talk. My throat hurt. I was coughing. What could I do for anyone else. Rewind a second.

Before work a cousin called to ask if I'd do her a favor. I tried to explain to her with a hoarse voice that I was barely helping myself at the moment. Since then I've been home trying to desperately recover. It's now Sunday and I'm nowhere near 100%. However, tomorrow I will get up with the rest of the world and proceed to work. If I have to lay my head on the desk every couple of minutes it will just be that way.

I just wish I did not have to take time off from getting sick. It should  have been to attend SXSW, NABJ conference, or something else that would involve socializing. It seems like everything that I try to plan out always gets pushed to a later unknown date. This girl needs to do better.