Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Work by A$AP Ferg (Favorite 2013 Song So Far)

While the rest of the world sleeps, I've been trying to figure out which rapper does this song Work for weeks.

It's A$AP Ferg. Seriously, I thought this might have been Silk Da Shocker trying to make a comeback at first. He's been gone for 10 plus years, but Master P is making his way back to the airwaves. Why not a whole old school No Limit takeover? Wait, but it's not No Limit. It doesn't even sound like any of their styles.
So I just discovered who A$AP Ferg is. This song Work actually sucked the first time I heard it, but now I've remembered half the lyrics. It's now certified hotness.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

You Better Be Good- Ravaughn Ft. Wale

I've been hearing this song You Better Be Good by Ravaughn on the radio for a while. It came out in 2012, but the lyrics are still hard. While it may not be timeless (like 90's music), the expiration date hasn't come yet. However, how good the song is doesn't really matter. It's more about how the lyrics are representing my life. 

I'm no virgin. Someone in the world believes I am, but it is not true. I've had bad sexual experiences and good ones. While they were good, they've always represented only sex. They've been about hitting that orgasm or me making sure that guy got his nut. It's been cool though. I'm not always selfish. However, recently things went to another level. 

There was a guy. The conversation was great. He was interesting. Plus he listened to me. We bonded in a way that I'll never describe to anyone. It's my sole memory. This was all before the sex. Maybe it was the bonding that led to the great sex. It wasn't that usual "you get yours and I get mines and then we separate" sex. There was passion that I had never felt before. 

Now see the lyrics of "You Better Be Good" are about a woman telling a man he better do her right in the bedroom. After you've been done right, can you ever go back and be comfortable? Could I be comfortable with sex that is not so good? Sex that is lacking in passion? I may never no until the next man comes along. 

Monday, February 25, 2013

Bad (Poem) Wale/Tiara Thomas Cover


Late night texts
Or short phone calls
Getting straight to the point
Do you wanna fuck
Cause I wanna fuck you
Setting the mood
Talking ‘bout wasting no time
We can do it on the couch
Or the living room floor
Leaving carpet burns on my back
Please make it rough
Don’t be shy
I’ve done this before
I’m not sure how to love
Not sure of affection
But I can feel our sexual attraction

I’m a bad girl
I’m good at it
I’ll be good in bed
I can be a real freak
But no clue about being a girlfriend

Rushing to your house
You got that nice porn bed
Or coming to mine
Create a more intimate set
Doing a little foreplay
Please excuse my hands
And I’ll excuse your lips
They wanna taste and explore
While we slow strip
Our clothes coming off
Where we gonna do this
The bedroom if you wanna be intimate
The shower if you got confidence
You said no commitment
So I won’t pretend to be your girlfriend
But tonight you have a high class freak

I’m a bad girl
I’m good at it
I’ll be good in bed
And afterwards real emotionless
No love here

He hurt her feelings
Set out to break her heart
It was all planned from the mothafuckin’ start
She had a housewife attitude
He wanted her to be his heaux
Over and over again
She feels played
Teach her how to love?
All he wanna do is lust
Used to be summer time fine
But now she winter time cold
Not sure which nigga to trust anymore
But she’s gotten good at being a bad girl
Plays the role
Gives him that good sex
And ends it as he’s heading for his car


Friday, February 22, 2013

Acquaintances With Benefits (Poem)

I thought 2012 was the year of finding myself, but this journey is leaking into 2013. This year my blog is less about celebrities and more about myself. I've been thinking about a situation a lot lately. This is probably something that my mind will continually try to interpret in a million different ways. Below is one. Enjoy!!!

Acquaintances With Benefits 

He was using me for sex.
I was using him to release stress.
Built up energy from long hours at work.
Pint of energy from not getting out enough.
The first time was wild.
For a while I'd try to hide my passion
But on the night I came back alive.
Sexually frustrated no more
Curious if this was just a fling
Or if this stranger was trying to turn this into the real thing
Could love be born from lust?
How long could this go on?
How long before someone would want more?
We were strangers
Or maybe casual acquaintances
But through sex we were trying to create a friendship
Just friends???
His demands said more
Ideas of having sex on the rooftop in the middle of the night
The rest of the world would be sleep
Our noise would fall on deaf ears
Or during sex inviting a friend
Two is just enough
But three could be a crowd
Making plans but being sure to keep it casual
It was all becoming too much
How could I explain to a person I'd agreed to let use me, he was becoming part of my stress? So I did what a Scorpio does best. Didn't talk about it. Just left. The problem with these casualties is figuring out how to emotionally move on.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Grown-Up Life, Did I Sign Up For This Shit?

There is water on my living room floor, but where it's coming from is a mystery. Part of the carpet is wet. Part of my cute rug from Rooms To Go is soaked. Furniture has been moved to keep anything from getting damaged. The carpet has been pulled back in a corner to help locate the problem. However, instead of seeing a source more water is just appearing. While I'm sitting in my apartment trying to get the maintenance people to fix this issue as soon as possible, the rest of Houston is enjoying All Star Weekend. Did I sign up for this?

It's All Star weekend. People are partying, spending way too much money, having sex with strangers, and some women are getting lucky enough to become the next basketball wife. I, on the other hand, am in my apartment trying to figure out an issue. When I was a kid I dreamed of grown-up responsibilities, but was this on the list? 

I wanted to party like a grown-up, spend money like one, and have kids like one. Every kid wants kids for some strange reason. When I was old enough to really think about the adult life I wanted to work hard enough at my dream job, come home to my comfortable place, and be with my sexy man. Oh, and I wanted to have lots of sex. 

Sex seems to be a very important part of the grown-up life and it's fun when done right. Sex is breathtaking. Sex is amazing. Sex is exhilarating. Sex is wonderful. However, realistically the more responsibilities we have, the harder it is to make time for sex. Wait..

Actually the more responsibilities we have, the harder it is to do anything fun. Like with work, no one tells you that if you're not working your dream job, you will still be consumed with the job for at least eight hours a day leaving very little room to focus on anything else. Plus this weekend I was at work at one point, fell asleep super early from exhaustion, and woke up to continue to worry about this water issue taking over my living room. When does that leave room to go out and have fun? None. I'm stuck with this grown-up responsibilities. 

But did I sign up for this? I supposed I did sign the lease to my apartment. That meant rent, electricity, and water bills. I did go on my own free will to get my cell phone. That meant another bill to have to pay. I did apply for the job. Somehow money had to get put into my bank account. I guess I did sign up for this life. 

However, I also thought I was signing up for frequent vacations, relaxation sometime during the week, and a sexy ass man that will spend money on me and have good love-making sessions. Where is the rest of the contract? 

Next Time? (Poem)

Someone asked me to write an Erykah Badu "Next Lifetime" type of poem. This was what I came up with. Now remember I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit.

Next Time?

Now what am I supposed to do when we’re all alone, late at night, no one knows, as you whisper sweet words in my ear, setting the mood for clothes to come off, and something inside tells me NO?

Gather all your energy
Run with all your heart
Get out as soon as possible

Sexy brown eyes
It’s like he can see through my clothes
Has a window to my soul
Lips good enough to kiss me with
Arms strong enough to hold me
When I close my eyes, I can feel him reaching out
Trying to make me feel protected, feel safe
My body craves his affection
My heart craves his attention
Can he feel my desperation?
I’m lonely
My soul reaches out to his mind
I want to get to know him
His favorite color, his occupation, what he dreams about at night, his future goals, how many kids he’d like to have, his dream wife
I try to get lost in his presence
Get to a place where there’s no me anymore
Instead it’s become we
But the idea of giving him so much is scary
Now what am I supposed to do when fear takes over my mind time after time?
He can’t get to know me
Can’t see the weakness
Can’t see the little girl still searching for her freedom
I’m not ready yet
I’ve been pushed into the world
Experienced that real  life pain
And just as joy starts to form inside of me there he is reaching out, offering everything I’ve been looking for, trying to offer nothing but the truth
Now what am I supposed to do when something is still saying gather all your energy
Run with all of your heart
It’s too good to be true
You’ve been warned from the start
Maybe there will come another time, another place, where we’ll meet up again and I’ll be ready to start the journey to us

Thursday, February 14, 2013

@ONLY1TWO Won't Be The Same

Poem Let's Make Love Featured On Pardon My Audacity

It's Valentines Day. Love is in the air. While you're being all romantic check out my poem Let's Make Love. It's featured on Pardon My Audacity.

Side Effects Movie Review/Story Line

Disclaimer: I'm about to tell just about everything I remember from the movie Side Effects. Well I'll tell some of it. If you have not watched it yet and plan to see it, do not read further.

It starts off with a man and his mother going to see his wife at her job. This is his first time out in the real world after five years. He committed a federal crime that was never really explained. So he and his wife are together again after so many years, but instead of being happy she's sad.This woman is so sad that when leaving work she drives into a brick wall. The scene is kind of intense even though it moves fast. Is she dead? How badly injured is she if she survives? What will happen next? 

The male psychiatrist is then introduced into the movie. He's a struggling doctor working crazy hours while trying to please his wife and put his son through private school. He seems a like his attention span is clouded from the start as he is introduced to his new depressed patient. She had just driven her car into a wall. She should have been hospitalized and tested. Instead he lets her go with a prescription and promise she'll see him regularly. Of course her husband promises to watch over her too. 

Was she really depressed? The only way anyone knows that she has had issues is because she saw a psychiatrist years before when he husband first went to prison. However, she's on medication now. While taking this medication she has moments where she pukes and cries in front of crowds of people. All her husband can do is comfort her. She also has another suicide attempt in a train station. Right after this suicide attempt she quickly runs to the doctor, who at the time is talking to his wife. 

The wife of the doctor also has issues. She is looking for a new job and getting prescription pills from him. Was his wife depressed? This part was never discussed deeper. Instead he pushes her back to do his job. 

This man leaves his wife to talk to his patient. His patient, this woman that has become a part of his attention span, suggests being put on Ablixa. Ablixa is a new medication (fictional of course) for the treatment of people in manic depressive states. While it cures people, it also has several side effects such as nausea and insomnia. He agrees to put her on the medication. 

As she gets into the routine of the medication everything seems fine. She is smiling again, going on dates with her husband, and having lots of sex. Then one day her husband wakes up to loud music and food on the table. Is someone visiting them in the middle of the night? No, she's sleep walking. The side effects have kicked in.The doctor knows, but she convinces him she wants to stay on Ablixa. In the mean time, she's been approved to test out another medication for a study that would take place in Houston. They don't make it to the study. 

One night the husband comes home and it looks as if she's sleep walking again. The sleep walking seems to be her main side effect.This time, however, she has a knife in her hand. When he goes up to her, she stabs in several different locations of his body. Afterwards, she stares at his body for a few minutes and gets in the bed. The next scene involves paramedics and her being handcuffed. She did kill her husband after all. 

From this point a two huge questions come up. One involves her possibly being a killer. The other involves her possibly being a victim of her medical treatment. The victimization part can be proved through her doctor's records. There was proof she was having side effects and nothing was done about it. She initially thinks she'll get acquitted of the charges. Instead they tell her that her only option is to plead insanity and get locked up in a psychiatric ward. She agrees. The case is over, but the doctor is not through. 

His life is ruined. The study for the new drug cuts him from their program. His own co-workers say he should take a leave of absence. He has no patients left, except for the one that committed a murder. He's determined to get his life back. As he tries to put the pieces together, his wife leaves him. None of this deters him. He eventually finds out this woman was never depressed. She has been lying the whole time. It does not matter though. The legal system has something called a double jeopardy. You can't try someone twice for the same crime. However, her old psychiatrist is still in the picture so he digs deeper. 

Shit gets wild at this point.The story takes a whole different turn. The new direction involves money, broken regulations, lesbian lovers, and black mail. How will he get his life back? Someone has to tell the truth. His patient, the newly sane woman, finally talks. She confesses that the only medication she ever took was the Ablixa. It did nothing for her since she was in fact not crazy. This leads to the other psychiatrist being arrested. That's not the end though. 

The newly sane woman thinks she is going to just set up her lover and walk free. Nope, she killed someone. They can't get her for murder, but she has been declared insane. They get her by trying to put her on more medication. When she refuses, she is declared insane again. When she tries to run, they have no choice but to restrain her. The ending of the movie is pure genius. 

Side Effects was genus. Even though the medication was made up, the story line felt real. I really thought she was depressed. I really thought that murder might be a side effect of some prescribed drug. I was really into this doctor's destroyed career. However, I hated some of the camera angles. There were a few times when I cringed. Who approved those cuts? Overall, it was a great movie that I'd watch again. 

Monday, February 11, 2013

Put A Person In Check If...

you feel they're coming at you the wrong way? I've been watching Real Housewives of Atlanta this season and newcomer Porsha Stewart (married to Kordell Stewart) has not wasted any time joining in the drama.

Well she didn't exactly immediately jump into drama with any of the other women. They spoke on her because of her lack of intelligence. On one episode she said "265 days of the year." She also said something about not wanting to be pregnant five times cause she wants two sets of twins. Later it kind of made since she she wants five kids and had a miscarriage already. Who knows? It has been very obvious that Porsha is not the smartest woman. However, Porsha married a man who does not back down from what could be determined as conflict.

On several occasions Porsha has went to her husband, Kordell Stewart, and he talked her into checking the person she was mad at. Kenya was the first. Kordell said put her in check and result was more hate. The minute Porsha brought up the issue that was on her mind, Kenya was ready to defend herself. They talked until a fight almost broke out. Clearly Porsha couldn't fight, so it's good it wasn't taken too far. Kenya did not want to settle anything or be talked down to. In the end they both realized that their issues could not be resolved. Then comes last night's episode.

This episode shows how much Porsha is not used to working. Clearly she can run a household. She knows how to throw parties, look pretty, and tell others how to clean up. She makes a good wife too. She listens to Kordell. However, she's not used to working. Cynthia hired Porsha to do work, but Porsha was slacking off. Then she turned around and fired her because the job wasn't getting done. Ouch! The conversation was supposed  be about Porsha laying her issues on the table. Instead she got fired from a job she wasn't even getting paid for. The battle was not hers.

Trying to put people in check has not worked for Porsha. She doesn't have what it takes to do that. However, should the rest of us consider it? If you're angry, should you try to talk it out with the person that made you angry?

I used to be that person that never talked it out. I'd either let the issue drive me crazy on the inside or just cut myself off from that certain person. However, I became more verbal. I'd let all the anger I'd been holding in out on someone. It felt good. That got old though. I'm still verbal every now and then, but not as down for the angry nature. There's a time and place for everything though. Maybe sometimes it's okay to let your emotions out on someone.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Who's Going To Teach Her?

I don't want to be in second place. I don't want to ever feel like I'm in second place. As I write this lyrics to a Kanye West and 2 Chainz song goes through my mind. However, I don't want anyone telling me I'm in first place for the moment. I don't want the attention of someone just to be ignored when I need them most. 

"Love is kind. Love is patient."

I don't want to patiently wait for love when I can get it right away. Love is inside of me. Why should I be okay with hate? Why should I accept indifference? Sometimes the lessons I grew up with make it hard for me to express myself. I have a story to tell, but sometimes it's hard to actually get that story out. 

More than once this guy asked if I would do a threesome. Some people call it by the French term, menage a trois. Maybe the first time I said okay. It was in the middle of sex. I was bound to say anything. When he brought it up again he had just discussed not wanting a relationship. Ouch! See how he put those two together. 

My body is a temple. I'm not trying to give it away to everyone. Stress is everywhere. Whether in that man that throws out some crazy idea, work, family, and even friends, stress is waiting to sneak up on you and steal all your energy. My body is a temple. Why would someone think I'd purposely abuse it? 

But I've been abusing it. Currently the abuse is lack of sleep at least one day of the week to get to work. I don't like saying this one out loud. There's always some old person around that will try to make it seem as if there are no other options. What? Life will never change? Why do I have to miss out on living to live? 

I'm young, not married, no kids, and no responsibilities that would be hard for me to walk away from. Actually even married people and parents walk away from their responsibilities. Why would anyone try to hold me back? And Rick Ross pops into my head. 

There is a little girl somewhere watching cartoons and waiting for someone to answer all of her questions. Who is going to teach her that it is okay to stop waiting for others to have her fun? Who is going to teach her that it is okay to be selfish? Who is going to teach her that the word NO is a gift from God? 

Lonely lasts for only so long. I never want to be forced to accept loneliness. I never want to settle. 

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Lil Kim Remixes Rihanna's Pour It Up

Every time we think Lil Kim has given up, she's comes back out with something new. This time it's a remix to Rihanna's "Pour It Up."

Lil Kim's Pour It Up version isn't about strips clubs and making money rain down though. It's about how it's been some years since she's done anything, but she ain't screaming broke yet. Check it out below. The songs starts off rocky, but her flow gets better towards the end.

Lil Kim has been financially lucky over the years. One reason she's avoided putting out an album is because she broke out of her last label contract. In the midst of breaking the contract, she owed a lot of money. Another record label payed that label off to help her. However, Lil Kim still has to tread lightly when it comes to trying to make money off of music. It'll be a while before she can do that again. 

K. Michelle & Bobby V Put It In Music Video

Draya's Cut Out Red Dress, Inappropriate Or Provocative Enough?

Recently while partying Draya was spotted in a hot red dress. Some might say this one is business in the front and "meet me in the bedroom" from the side. What do you think? Is this dress inappropriate or perfectly provocative?

I'd wear it if I was brave enough.

His Heart, My Heart (Poem)

Disclaimer: This is not a man hating poem. This time I'm the victim and the criminal.

How do I sleep when I can hear his heart beat?
As I rest my head on his chest, how do I live with the fact that I've settled for less?
After a night of passionate sex he's trying to keep me close, but how can I sleep with images of him resting so peacefully?

The night was special. Even more than the sex, his words were incredible. Something about him claiming the pussy is his while I ride his dick makes me feel special. But I'm tripping. He's not my man and it'll probably be weeks before we speak and do this again.

How do I handle the night's when we're not together?

Sometimes I feel lonely. Sometimes I try to block him out of my mind and search for a new homie.

 But how do I prepare for a new man?

The sex is incredible. The conversations are shallow.His lack of wanting to be serious leaves me lost. The way he abandons me hurts my feelings.

Whose going to fix my broken heart?

I've been over this a thousand times. Different face, different man, but the same game.

I'm tired of this, but yet I've lost the drive to fight it.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Professional Or Trashy- Keyshia Cole Insults Michelle Williams

The second quarter of the 2013 super bowl had just ended. All eyes were on Beyonce as she danced her ass off, sang, and made stans faint. Then a rumor that had been circulating for weeks came true. Destiny's Child were reuniting for the moment.

Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams appeared out of nowhere and immediately started singing. It's hard to tell where they came from. There was so many fireworks and flashy lights. There was even a moment where it looked like 20 million Beyone's were on stage. But they came from wherever they had been hiding.

Kelly shined while Michelle looked like a talented teenager that had been pushed up out into the spotlight. There's nothing wrong with that. Michelle has been trying to build a gospel career. At least that's what I last heard. Anyway, while they performed another singer sat at home and heavily hated on Michelle. That singer is Keyshia Cole.

Now Keyshia is no stranger to the wrath of online hate so probably knew she was going to hear craziness from people. That didn't stop her though. The first tweet where she praised Beyonce is to the right. Read the rest of them below.

 While Michelle Williams name hasn't been mentioned much in the media, neither has Keyshia Cole's. Her last attempt at a reality show received poor ratings. Do you think this twitter rant was appropriate?

Friday, February 1, 2013

The Month Of Love?

His eyes catch her attention.
His lips say just stop and listen.
His hands reach out for hers.
 His skin feels so soft she could melt within it.
 His body yearns for her desire.
She can feel him against her growing harder.
She can imagine him inside her.
How did she get so close?
When did he start to embrace her?
She lets him hold her.
It feels so natural.
Her body starts to feel weak.
He whispers naughty words to get her wet.
"I don't want to love you. I just want to fuck you.Your body is beautiful. Pretty face, perky breasts, soft thighs. Let me spread them wide. I want your legs cocked up in the air. Scream my name while I pull your hair."
Who is this man that wants her so bad?
Where did he come from?
Is sex his only intention?
What if she wants more?
Does she want more?
She has so much love to offer.
 It's being smothered inside her.
Should she release it?
Is he worth it?
His sexual ways have already enticed her.
His mouth says it's okay to be in compliance.
She doesn't feel like fighting, so she settles.
She'll settle for moments of intense pleasure.
She'll settle for no words the morning after.
She'll settle for no him on Valentines Day.
But she'll accept him whenever he's ready again.
Part of her feels alright with the decision.
It's the month of February.
It used to be the month of love.
However, times have changed.