Tuesday, January 31, 2012

When Africa No Longer Matters~ The Big Huge Nonsensical Reality TV Fight

Marlo of Real Housewives Of Atlanta
I had writer's block until a few minutes ago. See the writer's block started around midnight last night, but ended when I read an article from yesterday. It was about Marlo, a newcomer to the television show Real Housewives Of Atlanta. In the article Marlo issued an apology for using a homophobic slur during a huge fight with Sheree on the television show. While her apology has probably touched the hearts of many people in the gay community, it didn't phase me. Upon reading her apology I was still shocked and quite frankly I'm still now trying to comprehend the whole fight. See that whole fight was something that even Halle Berry couldn't pull off if she was paid to do another role in a really ghetto movie. In case you didn't watch this is what happened.

The episode was about all of the women taking a trip to Africa. Their reasoning for going is because Africa is a place everyone and their dead ancestors are dying to visit. It's filled with lots of history that we should all be willing to learn and these women were excited to experience that history. At least they appeared to be excited before the show started.

Their excitement level seemed to go down a notch the moment they realized NeNe had invited Marlo on the trip. Before the airport arrival, no one knew Marlo would be going. In fact with 7 mugshots on her record, no one knew she could even leave the state, let alone go to a different continent. However, Marlo arrived and immediately began pissing people off.

While some of the women seemed genuinely excited about arriving in Africa, others were trying desperately to keep fake smiles on their faces and stay polite. One of those fake people was NeNe. The other was Marlo. Marlo didn't fit into the crew because no one really knew her. However, she was determined to try to fit in and her way of doing it was by giving etiquette lessons. In the midst of breakfast Marlo taught the other women how to eat. When on a boat where Phaedra was trying to give out facts about African history, Marlo was teaching the other women how to sit. Then towards the end of the day Marlo wanted to bring all the women together and try to dissolve some issues. Everyone looked like they were trying their best to keep from strangling Marlo. This was especially the case for Sheree.

Towards the end of the night Sheree decided she'd had enough African history lessons. She was ready to party and her party was exclusive. It was so exclusive that Marlo and NeNe did not get invitations. NeNe understood her lack of an invite, but Marlo did not. Marlo was calm about it until Cynthia decided to ask her and NeNe if it was okay that they would be by themselves. Or maybe Cynthia was asking permission to attend. I'm not sure, but the shit really hit the fan. Marlo had to teach one more etiquette course right before she lost of signs of being a lady.

This is where the big huge nonsensical reality television fight starts. This is the moment where Real Housewives will go down in history as the show that perfectly recorded black women at their most insane point. This is... well let me just describe it to my best ability.

It starts with Marlo asking if she's invited to the party. Sheree politely tells her no. Then Marlo calls Sheree ugly and throws a homophobic slur at her. Sheree is taken aback, but refuses to lose the battle of words. Screaming between both women erupts.

Kandi makes faces because she can't comprehend what Marlo and Sheree are fighting about. Pheadra starts doing her make-up because she doesn't want to even attempt to comprehend what is going on. Then Marlo and Sheree calm down just enough so that everyone can make sense of the words their throwing at each other.

Marlo says something about Sheree's kids sleeping on air mattresses, something about drug dealers at Onyx, about returning stuff to expensive malls, and about cars being repo'ed. Sheree throws out shots about old white sugar daddies, arrest records, and shows no signs of backing down. By this time NeNe has come down stairs and tries to act like a peace maker. She gets both women quiet for about 2 minutes and then the fighting starts again. Except the fighting gets crazier.

Instead of throwing words at each other, Marlo and Sheree starts making these cartoonistic (that's not a real word) faces at each other. It's so bad that it's hilarious. This is the moment where I fall out laughing and don't even remember what happened next.

I think the show ended with them still arguing. It was just so crazy and hilarious. There really are no words to perfectly describe that episode or Real Housewives Of Atlanta. I think on the next episode Marlo will say something like "She better google my charges." That's how I know that although they are in a magical place that many of us only dream of or picture only images of starving children, to them Africa no longer matters.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Sunday Reflections: Realizations And Never Ending Goals

At one point Barney was just a character on a television show. He sang really interesting songs, took children on really interesting adventures, and taught lessons. However, once I got older crazy things started to come out about Barney. For instance Barney gained a criminal record. He also became a smoker, which is disgusting. I still don't understand why when these cartoon/made up characters take breaks they always go for cigarettes. He also became a possible pedophile because no adult is supposed to be that in tune with children. Barney developed some real messed up issues. However, Barney wasn't the only character I had to open my eyes when it came to.

There was also the Teletubbies. I don't remember much about the Teletubbies, except they were cute little women that were always happy and carried there purses. However, one day I learned that they weren't women at all. They were men carrying purses on a network made to influence children. The Teletubbies were either gay or transvestites. That is actually not an issue. The issue is that homophobia is real and is constantly discussed in every media outlet in every way.

Another great character from a show is Lynn on Girlfriends. Lynn was the unemployed friend. She had a million college degrees, but could not find a job. Or Lynn may have refused to work on a couple of seasons. Due to lack of work and lots of debt, Lynn depended heavily on her friends. Sometimes they'd get irritated with her leaching, but for the most part Lynn survived. Sure she had struggles. There was one point where she was living in a garage because that was all she could afford. She also could never buy her own food because the money for it was just not in her hands. However, Lynn was just a character on a television show so none of it was really bad until I grew up. One day a couple years ago I woke up and discovered unemployment is real and those people on the side of the street begging for change are not doing it for fun.

With all that said I am employed, but I now have a huge fear of unemployment. I'm also in a space where I can mentally and physically grow more, but I have issues. The issues are real. They revolve around mental and physical claustrophobia, never having enough privacy, needing more attention, and never hearing someone say I'm finally good enough. See shit is real.

However, I've learned that once the realizations kick in there is no way to change them. Barney is a danger to children. The Teletubbies are educating children on gender choices before the children even realize their genders. Unemployment exists and will probably never go away. There is a 50/50 possibility that no one will ever make you feel like you are good enough.There are only ways to off-set the realizations for a little while. Those ways are with never-ending goals.

Now saying you will become a teacher or lawyer is not a never-ending goal. Once those goals get accomplished the proof is in the work you do. Never-ending goals are actually when you set plans that you have to continually do in order to get the full experience.

For instance one of my never-ending goals is to have fun. An example was yesterday. I spent some time in the mall buying and outfit to go out last night. Then I went to the club, Drink Houston, and had a great time. It was an achievement, but having fun is a continual experience. Therefore it is a never ending goal that will bring joy to my life.

What indefinite experience are you continually taking advantage of?

Friday, January 27, 2012

Draya Celebrates Her 27th Birthday

For her 27th birthday Draya wore a sexy purple dress that barely covered her breasts. Did you know that celebrities tape their breasts down to make sure they don't fall out of outfits like that? Anyway, at her star studded b-day celebration Draya had all of the men's attention. Check out pictures below.
Draya and Ray J
Draya and Omarion

Getting love in the club from some cute guy
Am I the only one that has noticed how comfortably out of the closet Omarion has become? Okay, you may be wondering why anyone would even discuss Draya. Well, on the reunion show of Basketball Wives of LA when asked how they felt about all the other girls Draya kept it real and said "Fuck all you Bitches." If she didn't say those exact words it was something like that and that saying makes her cool in my book.  

All Around The World: Aqua~ Richmond's Newest Upscale Adult Lounge

There's a new club called Aqua and it's only for the grown and sexy. 

Lately I've been thinking about how to get my life to a point of rejuvenation again. See I thought having a more positive attitude about work would help. See work helps put money in my bank account every two weeks and work gives me something to do during the day, but that's not rejuvenation. That actually takes a lot of energy out of me and I'm pretty sure it does the same for you too. So my next goal for getting rejuvenated has been to find a hang out spot. Well, recently I was on Facebook and I saw the advertisement for a new club called Aqua. 

Aqua is grown and sexy club. In order to get in you have to be at least 25, which ultimately means you'll be hearing the best of 80's and 90's music in the midst of the 21st century dance tunes. However, Aqua is located in Richmond, Virginia.

That means I have to continue my search for a hang out spot. However, if you live in the area check the club out and let me know if it's really as good as it sounds. 

Thursday, January 26, 2012

" Trifllin Friends Generation Why?"~ Season 2 Sneak Preview

Prickly Pear, A Must Have Drink

One day I must drink a Prickly Pear. Today I was watching one of my favorite reality shows Braxton Family Values. While planning for the club they started discussing having a Prickly Pear. Tamar, the youngest of the sisters, didn't know what it was. However, I couldn't judge Tamar neither did I. So, I quickly went online and did some research. Apparently a Prickly Pear is a delicious looking margarita. 

It is a must have on my list. Hopefully the next club I hit up has a Prickly Pear margarita on the drink list. However, for those of you who are kitchen experts you can find the recipe on the Food Network

Poetic Heart~ Awkward Love

It's been a little over a month since I've written any poetry. This is the first poem of 2012. 

Awkward Love

In the midst of craving attention and affection I see him
His eyes scream for me to pay attention
His brown skin yearns to invite me in
Into the warm embrace of his arms
My body gets weak with the thought of his touch
The two of us touching
Our breathing becoming in sync
I imagine his mouth yearning for mines
First comes the kiss
Then our tongues manage to meet
And the moment it feels too good to be true
The moment I close my eyes
The moment his mouth starts to drift further down
It all becomes awkward
He's not looking for love
Just some girl to handle his lust
But if it's good he'll be back for more
And he does it carefully too
Slow motion to make each time memorable
But quickly enough to hold onto his personal information
We don't know much about each other
All he knows is he became my next before my ex was my ex
And I know that he doesn't see himself as the relationship type
He's admitted he's a heaux
But how many girls he's been with I'll never know
We're not boyfriend and girlfriend
Nor friends with benefits
However, the situation is so familiar it just makes sense
First we meet
His pride seems high
My fear of being hurt sits on my shoulders
So we agree to casualty
There are no steps to love in this game we play
While my mind is saying wait for a guy that's for real
My body is weak
And his kisses are sweet
Which makes it hard for me to know when to leave
When to walk away
Because if he sticks around long enough
And I start to listen to my heart
The situation will become awkward

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Kelly Rowland Keep It Between Us

Kelly Rowland - "Keep It Between Us" from Kelly Rowland on Vimeo.

The Time Of The Haves And Have-Nots: State Of The Union Address and Response

On Tuesday January 24, 2012 Barack Obama held his third state of the union address. While speaking Obama tried to appeal to everyone in America as much as possible. Immediately afterward Republican Mitch Daniels gave the Republican views, which went against President Obama. While speaking Daniels said as of now we are an economy of haves and have-not, but we need to become an economy of haves and soon to have.

At 25 there are a few things that I have. One is a college degree. This college degree represents how important I think education is. Something else that I have is motivation to work hard because that is the only way I can currently survive. After all it costs money to pay bills, it costs money to establish credit, and it costs money to have a place to eat and sleep. I also have the gift of writing. This gift helps me to create words and expose them to the world even when no one is paying attention. The final thing that I have is a dream. This dream allows me to picture where I want to be a year, two years, and even 10 years from now. However, there's more that I don't have.

One is an education that stands out. While everyone is proud of the school they attend, the most memorable schools are always ivy league schools. Have you noticed that people in top positions always went to Harvard or Yale, or were at least able to get accepted into those schools? Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of my education, but realistically Florida A&M University alone doesn't exactly scream future millionaire. Harvard, on the other hand, says so much more.

Something else that I'm lacking is money. Recently Mitt Romney released a statement of how much money he makes and how much money he pays in taxes. The statement showed that he only pays 14% of over $20 million a year that he makes. He's rich, but my taxes look a little different than his. I'm not rich. In fact I've been out of school for almost two years and there's still loans to get paid off. While I'm lucky enough to have help with loans, I'm living in my parents house. These living arrangements weren't planned this way five years ago, but because of lack of money this is what I'm working with.

I'm also lacking in a fantasy life. When you look at people like Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, and Barack Obama you see that they are living out their dreams. Their dreams are going so well that it is clear they are living in fantasy worlds. However, my life isn't a fantasy. When I wake up every day I see the same room that I slept in during high school. I get up and go to work for eight hours just to be greeted by my brothers and parents at the end of the day. Some people think I'm lucky, but this wasn't where I wanted to be at this age.

President Obama spoke with lots of enthusiasm and encouragement at the state of the union address. A lot of what he said was true, but it takes more than him to get our economy in the state it needs to be in. Mitch Daniels was also right about the haves and have-nots, but Barack Obama also pointed out that he wants us to do better. I see those that have, but I recognize that I am part of the have-nots. The real question is how do we fix this? How do those of us that are just dreamers get to the point of living out of dreams? After all it takes more than one person to go from a have-not to a soon-to-have.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Future Entertainment: Learning The Art Of Sensual Dance

When I was a child I loved dancing. No matter what the song was I'd attempt to create some cool moves to it. However, as I got older people started to point out an important fact. That fact was that I was a black girl with no real rhythm. Sure I knew how to grind on a guy, but when it game to doing moves like the stanky leg and trying to jump into steps I sucked and I still do. Once that realization hit I started to censor my moves. The moves went from public displays of embarrassment to great displays of sensuality in the bedroom alone. The moves were sensual simply because it didn't matter whether I was good or bad. All that mattered is that I felt good while dancing.

You're probably wondering what this has to do with future entertainment. Well, lately I haven't been my vibrant self. Lately I've had to force myself to get up and do simple activities that were needed. That laziness has also tracked into the moments where I should have been out having a good time and creating memories. Now I want to get back on track. One way will be eating out for dinner every week in the middle of the week. The other will be taking dance classes.

Not just any dance classes though...

I want to learn the art of sensual dancing. I want to learn how to dance to the point where all eyes are on me, or at least one set of eyes from that one fine guy that's mine. I want to learn how to move gracefully like Beyonce did in the music video "Dance For You." Well, actually I want to just have some fun and I think I've found the place.

PoleLaTeaz Houston
It's called PoleLaTeaz Houston and the classes feature several different types of sensual dances. While there are descriptions for each of the workshops I want to wait until after the experience to let you all know. Now all that's left is to make a phone call, find out where this place is located, and go have some fun dancing sexually.

This really has been on my mind for a while, but researching a place was inspired by Lidia Anain's latest post on her blog.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Intellectual Tips: Fulfilling Limitless Expectations Takes Time

I met this guy once. He was a T.I. look-a-like and from Atlanta. I really wanted to get to know  him, but he was just looking for sex. I was a virgin at the time and let him know. The moment I said virgin he decided I wasn't the woman he wanted to see at the time. What he didn't realize is I would lose my virginity soon after, but to another guy that I barely knew.

Then there was another guy who let me know as soon as I met him that he was looking for a friend with benefits. He wasn't a friend, but I could work with that. However, I couldn't work with the idea of feeling rushed. There was the idea that I had to rush to be the most attractive girl, rush to give sex even if I wasn't ready to do to it, be a pro at sex although I was not, and at the same time keep it casual. Given a little time I could have become the best friend with benefits he ever had, but the pressure to move fast was too much for me. Since I couldn't handle the pressure we cut our connection and never spoke again.

You may be wondering where I'm going with this. Recently I was listening to Tyrese's song "Signs Of Lovemaking." In the song he has a verse dedicated to Scorpio's (my zodiac sign). One particular line in the verse goes "I met a Scorpio. She had no limit to where she'd go." In the past when meeting guys I've been forced to come up with what I will do and where my limit ends. However, the truth is I and other women don't actually have limits.

When it comes to falling in love or even lust we women are limitless. If we're with a man that cares a lot about sex we will go above and beyond to please in the bedroom. If he loves home cooked meals, but we can't cook we will learn how to cook. If we are comfortable sitting around the house but have a man that is adventurous, we will become adventurous to just please him. However, getting to the point of doing it all takes time. A man can't expect us to meet him and be cooking him dinner two days later at his house in our bra and panties. It takes time to get to that level of comfort.

However, many men don't understand that great sex or great lovemaking takes patience. They don't understand that getting to know us women takes more than one day. They're just anxious to get us to the limitless point and if we can't do it in a rush, we're left alone.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Pay Your Pussy Bill~ Khia

Over the weekend the thug misses, Khia, released her highly anticipated song "Pay Your Pussy Bill." In the song she lets us know that niggas like pussy and girls like money. Wait, I can't express how perfectly hood this new song is in words. You just have to hear it.

Listen to Khia's "Pay Your Pussy Bill" below.

Poetic Heart: The Poet You'll Never Know

The Poet You’ll Never Know
By Lashuntrice aka Me 

Allow me to introduce myself
I’m the poet you’ll never know
Living in the dark
Never stepping into the light
Because I have this goal
But I’m constantly losing sight
My inner voice says
But others blind me with their opinions
It's the root of all evil
But necessary for survival
And what I want
What I need
My talent
My blessing
Because the world doesn’t know me
I haven’t been exposed
I can’t help but lack hope
Lose focus
And become just another lost soul
One that you’ll never know

Allow me to reintroduce myself
I’m the poet you’ll never know
Because I’m another lost soul
Stuck on the wrong path
Wrong place
Wrong time
Wrong mindset
Instead of doing what I know
I let others tell me how to grow
They guide me
Mislead me
Force me to live out their dreams
Then treat me badly
Because I’m constantly messing up
Losing focus
Stuck on what I don’t love
But someone once told me
“That’s the way love goes”
So I put on a mask
And I cherish my mistakes
Suck up my pain
Continue on the journey
Never quite succeed at whatever I’m doing
But it’s all because I’m a lost soul
One you’ll never know

Allow me to hide myself
Because I’m the poet you’ll never know
I used to bust the windows open from each and every place
It was the only way I knew to escape
Express myself
Be free from the harmful words that society would throw at me
But I gave up
And now I’m lost in confusion
Going in circles
Feeling so stupid, foolish because I lost my way
And “Kisha, Tisha, Courtney, Brandy,”
Is what I hear from day to day
Being called the wrong name
Because I’ve stolen someone else’s path
But feeling like it’s too late to get back on my path
Been doing wrong for too long
And that’s what lost souls do
Especially the ones you don’t know

Allow me to disappear and become another figment of your imagination. Don’t want you to see  right through me. The dreams, hopes, goals that I once had, don’t want you to see it. So allow me to become the poet you’ll never know, never see, never hear. Allow me the be just another lost soul. Allow me to become the one you’ll never know. 

This was a repost in case you had not already read it. Poetry is a passion of mine and this passion is the impact I want to leave behind. 

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Visions Of The Future: The Conference Obsession And Getting Cultured

A whole month of a new year is not even over, but it feels like my plans for the year are falling apart.  The resolutions are crumbling and becoming thoughts of the past. See when I started all of these plans time wasn't a factor. Inconveniencing others was not on my mind at all. When you spend your whole life trying to make your plans around other people, there comes a point where you desperately want to stop caring about what others will say or think just to make yourself happy. That is why all of my plans seem to be falling apart before I even have a chance to make them reality.

A few weeks ago I was pretty confident about all my plans. Hawaii was written in stone. Hawaii had a definite date and still does. However, I didn't consider the fact that I'd have to ask for permission to actually do the trip.

It's the same for the Blogging While Brown conference. This conference consists of bloggers from all over the world. The conference consists of networking events, training sessions, and recognition that African American bloggers are important. I imagine it must be what Heaven feels like for a writer. I planned to go almost half a year ago when I first heard about it. I couldn't make it then because of lack of money. However, I made it an obligation to go in 2012. However, that's changing. When I planned it I didn't think about what other big events would happen around the same time. I didn't think about whether I would have enough money or time to attend both events. I also didn't plan the fact that I might have to ask for permission to go.

While the Blogging While Brown conference will more than likely not happen, I've also planned to go to New York this year. There are two reasons I want to go to New York. One involves a conference called BlogHer, with happens in August. This conference is a conference consisting of women writers. I'm really addicted to the idea of conferences this year. The other reason I want to go to New York is for the artsy vibe. There's a museum dedicated to the history of sex there and a million other amazing places to learn a lot of culture.  However, before it can happen I'd still have to ask for permission to go.

The last place I planted in my mind to definitely go to is the National Association of Black Journalists (NABJ) Conference. This conference is going to be located approximately five hours away from me. The biggest part of it is I want to drive there. Never in my life have I gone that far in a car by myself, but I want to make it an achievement. The question is will it actually happen. I'm not even a member of NABJ, but that part isn't stopping me.

There is one more. It's the National Black Book Festival, but it's located right here in Houston. That means it won't be a problem, but the others do have conflicts. Overall no matter where I go I'm in search of fulfilling my conference obsession and getting heavily cultured in a world that I will enjoy. This is not just about networking purposes. However, as mentioned above I will have to ask for permission.

When you are a kid you ask for permission from your parents to do activities and attend events. While growing up when it came to the really good stuff, I was always told that those were reserved for later. However, it's later and in the real world there are new distractions and road blocks. One of those road blocks is work and time. With a limited amount of time and a work schedule that will always be written in stone, no matter what the job, it requires permission to get away. Even when you're sick, there is an expectation of permission to take a break. No one ever taught me this back then, but now I know.

Still I must figure out how not to give up hope on achieving the goal of getting cultured and getting to the conferences that are becoming an obsession. In my next big post I'll explain why they are an obsession.

Ms Fashionable: The Jennifer Hudson Wide Pant Body Suit

In the above picture Jennifer Hudson has on a cute timeless wide pant body suit. She wears this cute outfit in her video "No One Gonna Love You." I want one just like that. If not like that then I'll settle for one with the regular straps. I actually saw one in the mall weeks ago, but the top part of it didn't fit me.

Until I can get one that fits perfectly check out the way Jennifer Hudson is nicely wearing hers in the video below.

Introducing Three Fifs

Friday, January 20, 2012

2012 Music Lola Monroe- Stay Schemin

So I definitely want the outfit in the above picture. Check out Lola Monroe's "Stay Schemin" freestyle below.

In The News: Can You Enforce Condom Wearing?

Actually the question of enforcing condom wearing isn't in the media. Recently a law stating that porn stars in Los Angeles have to wear condoms when making their videos was enforced. This law will make it illegal for any porn star to perform sexual acts with the usage of protection. However, producers have a problem with this law.

Producers are saying that the sight of a condom will make people spend less time watching porno flicks. You can read about the new law on this website. It does seem like a good law. This law will be more helpful to the avoidance of porn stars catching sexually transmitted diseases. It could also help avoid any unwanted pregnancies. I'm guessing women who have sex for a living are still fertile.

 However, how does the law enforce a porn star to wear a condom? Do police show up on the set and watch the whole thing get taped? Can a porn star get arrested for not wearing a condom? This is interesting.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

2012 Music CYC Goin In

2012 Music CYC- She Want In

Protect Intellectual Property Act? Blocking Freedom Of Expression

PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

Recently I found out that the government is once again trying to limit our freedom of speech, but it's worse than just shutting us up. If you watched the video then you realize how bad it is. Through two new potential laws on capital hill, PIPA (Protect Intellectual Property Act) and SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act), it would be practically illegal for us to share the latest music, talk about upcoming movies and television shows, and express our opinions on anything that anyone might feel threatened by.

Could you imagine putting up a youtube video of yourself letting Drake know that it's real while playing his music in the background but then end up getting thrown in jail? Or what if you uploaded a few songs to youtube that you really liked and put a disclaimer letting everyone know that it was not your property but you were still getting arrested for placing it? While the first example is a huge exaggeration people put songs on youtube all the time. Then they place disclaimers to keep from getting their videos pulled from the web. Well, if the above legislation's are passed then disclaimers won't matter. Anyone who does would be labeled a criminal.

But then it doesn't end with the entertainment industry. I remember when I was just a teenager learning how to write poetry. I'd been teaching myself that art of creating fiction for a while, but poetry was starting to catch my heart. While doing all this writing I heard about all the great exposure the internet could get me. Well, the number one focus was one day becoming an author, but the internet was becoming a huge attraction. There were two reasons for this attraction.

One reason was the simple fact that people were socializing and paying attention on the internet. If they payed attention that meant they'd notice me. Once they noticed me I could start advertising myself off as the great writer I thought I was. The internet was essentially a writer's dream since it has always mostly survived on communication.

The other reason was because my parents said I shouldn't. They continually talked about how the internet was dangerous and could ruin a person's reputation. While a writer's reputation is based on others reading their work, my parents didn't understand that concept when it came to me. Anything I said would be seen as dangerous to them. They warned me about the dangers, watched my every move when I logged onto a computer, and felt secure that I was doing the right thing by avoiding the horrific world of the internet. Well, they said I shouldn't get on and the mysteriousness of the internet that they created sparked my curiosity. Then one day I actually joined the world wide web.

I posted my first poem on the internet whenever the notes section on Facebook first appeared. I want to say that was 2006. Then I created my first blog (not including school blogs) in December of 2008. I went from fearful writing to utilizing music videos in my posts within a couple of months. Around this time only God knew what I was trying to achieve. Once I really learned to use blogs as an outlet I started mixing my poems, short stories, interesting new stories, music, and entertainment industry talk together. I basically went crazy with expressing myself.

However, PIPA and SOPA are trying to take away our rights to use practically anything involving music and industry. If those are taken away what will we have? There will be a bunch of personal blogs and websites. However, there's always someone who doesn't agree with an opinion. So will they arrest us for talking about our work day experience, our goals, dreams, and the weather outside?

I admit my parents were right. The internet can ruin your reputation. While the music and entertainment industry makes billions of dollars every year they think that certain people on the internet is ruining the money they could be making. However, there are already laws in place to product the entertainment industry from piracy. So what about our freedom of speech? Freedom of speech wasn't placed in the first amendment on accident.

Do you agree with the legislation? Would you want a law to decide what you have to write to talk about when you get on the internet? I'm a writer, so I will always be on the side of freedom of expression.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Hair Journey: Four Months In

Yesterday, January 17th, was the four month anniversary of me making a big change with my hair. It's the anniversary of the day I decided to cut all the perm off. Just in case you haven't been following, a lot has been going on with my life and around the time I cut all the perm off I was reaching for the highest change possible. This was the best I could do at the time so I did it. Well it's been four months and my hair is starting to grow.

See the pictures. Do you see a difference between now and when I first started?

Monday, January 16, 2012

Monday Thoughts: The Fear Is Real

As I sat at my desk doing the required work to get paid, thoughts crept into my head. Some of them were happy thoughts. For instance by the end of the week there would be more money in my account. There would also be plans made for the weekend or random trips created just to get escape the real world.

It was Monday, the beginning of a new work week. Some co-workers were smiling because they still had a natural high from their great weekend. They had either partied real hard, spent time with their significant other, hung with the kids, or hung with the grandchildren. Others were exhausted because they were wishing for just a few more hours of sleep, or a lot of coffee, to get the day started. I was struggling to focus.

Focusing was not that hard. I knew what the job was composed of. On day one I thought I had lost my mind trying to learn the concepts of the job. It was far from what I had been studying and planning for all my life. However, by then I knew what I was doing. The minute that computer was logged on to the correct programs  I had no choice but to know what I was doing. Others depended on my work. However, while I knew the job on this day I found it hard to focus.

Distracting thoughts kept creeping into my mind. One was the fact that I hadn't eaten anything. There were no hunger pains, but would they be there later? Would the hunger pains creep up when the work load was heavy and there was no way of stopping and taking a break? Would the hunger pains crowd my brain and cause me to mess up? Had I messed up already?

 A lot of 25 year old people are either fully into the careers or just starting out in the perfect careers. If they haven't started, then they are looking for the right opportunity to appear. I had been planning the perfect career moves my whole life. The ideas of careers were made, erased, and then replaced with better ideas. Hard work had been done in efforts to see if the ideas I came up would fit my lifestyle forever. Hard work had then been greeted with goals of getting better and goals of coming up with new plans. Then goals had been met with real money paying jobs, such as the one I was sitting at and struggling to concentrate on.

The concentration struggle was real, but the thoughts were also scary. The thoughts distracting me from work created a fear that was real. There were thoughts of doubt about where I was heading. While my whole life wasn't planned out a lot of goals had been made. Could those goals be accomplished still? Could they be accomplished while I was here? Could there be a ladder to climb in this industry? I feared the thought that maybe I had set myself up for a life that would lead to many years of regretful thoughts.

But there was really nothing wrong with my life. There was a job that I had the opportunity to wake up and go to every day. There was also the constant flow of money going into my bank account. It was all money for me and it opened the door to more opportunities. There would be the comfort of financial stability and the ability to take breaks and create fun adventures. There would also be money available to fuel future goals while working at the current job. It really wasn't so bad.

However, was I supposed to see it as good? Was I supposed to get comfortable in my current state? Was I supposed to stop striving for a better life? Every day isn't a Monday, but these are the thoughts that constantly consume my life no matter where I am. The fear is real.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Shit Light Skin Guys (Wisdom Is Misery) Say

I didn't really watch this video to see what light skin men say. I only wanted to see what Wisdom Is Misery would say. However, it wasn't what he said that made this video. It was either the dougie or putting on the wig.

You Never Work A Day In Your Life When....

You Do What You Love...
This post is inspired by Morgan Freeman.

Tonight Morgan Freeman won a Lifetime Achievement Award on the 69th annual Golden Globes. So far Freeman has been acting for 45 years. When receiving his award Freeman referenced the phrase "You never work a day in your life when you do what you love." Well it's definitely obvious that he's had a lot of fun in his career. He's played everything from the Devil to God. That's inspiration and we should all thrive to never work a day in our life. I definitely want to be at a point where I'm not working, but I'm still paying all of my bills.

In honor of never working a day in our life, below is a video of a much younger Morgan Freeman having fun in a casket. It was hilarious.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

50 Cent I Just Wanna Ft. Tony Yayo

I don't know why I like this song, but I do. 

A Woman's Work by Kid Fury

Intellectual Tips: Oral Transactions Are Fun

Or at least the phrase "oral transactions" is a really good phrase. Is there a phrase you've heard recently and now wish you would have known years ago? Well oral transactions is the phrase that I wish someone would have said a long time ago.

See I heard this phrase on television for the first time Thursday night. It came out of the mouth of Trina Braxton of Braxton Family Values. When she used the phrase she was slightly nervous because she was trying to explain to her sisters that she'd cheated on her husband. Well, it wasn't just any ordinary cheating. Without getting anything in return Trina sucked on this man's, a band mate of hers, penis (better known as a dick in the black community). Well, then again she did get something in return. After sucking him up, Trina let this man smell her vagina. Because she did what she what she did and gave his nose a little joy (maybe) the experience became an oral transaction.

Oral transactions according to Trina Braxton does mean giving a man head. Now shake your head if you've ever had an oral transaction. Don't you wish you would have thought of this phrase when you had that experience? Unlike Trina, when I talked to my friends I called it exactly what it was, giving him head. Then after saying it I wanted to clean it up and just call it oral sex. After all, oral sex is what it is professionally referred to. However, now I know about oral transactions.

But oral transactions can have other meanings too. It can apply to kissing. Kissing does involves two people interacting with each other and the physical part of kissing involves oral actions. Oral transactions can also involve flirting. You have to use your mouth to flirt. More importantly it can involve goal making when the goals are made out loud. Oral transactions can also be applied to church interaction, work life, hanging out with friends, and meeting new people. With the last sentence I'm referring to every day conversation. That had to be said just in case your mind went into gutter mode.

Oral transactions are overall cool and the phrase is a new accessory to my vocabulary.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

How Obsessed Do You Get Over Celebrities?

I don't know how obsessed you are or how far you'd go for a  celebrity, but there are some people making some pretty brave moves for the stars they love. First there was a woman who tattooe'd Drake's name across her head so she could show him that her love is real. I don't think that's what Drake meant in his song, but she did. Then there was a man who stabbed someone because they didn't know Beyonce was pregnant. Now there's a woman who has legally changed her name to Kanye Resa West. 

Kanye Resa West was originally born with the name Linda Resa. However, after she ran into legal trouble trying to use Mrs. Kanye West as her name (she  loves Kanye that much), she legally changed it to Kanye West to avoid any more problems. To show Kanye West that her love is written in stone (or at least permanent) Mrs. Kanye West has also tattooe'd the name on her arm and butt. Check out the video where she explains her obsession below. 

story found at Gossip On This

Sometimes I Want To Be Called A Bitch

I have a confession to make. Khia's song "I've Been Called A Bitch" has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm going to write. Truthfully I've never been called a Bitch unless you count that one time the summer after 10th grade. He apologized later on. Then again you could also count the times where friends said it out of what they called sentiment, but does being called a Bitch count if it's not said in anger? I don't think so. I've never been called a hoe either unless you count that one time by that guy my freshman year of college, but I was a virgin. However, sometimes I just want to be called a Bitch. 

Really, I just want to be in the park one day and hear someone randomly yell out "Hey Bitch." Or I also wouldn't mind being in the grocery store and some dude randomly tell me "Bitch you fine."  I also wouldn't mind being in the club jamming to my favorite song and the lyrics say "Drop it to the floor Bitch." I'd drop it and say yeah he's talking about me. Then again I wouldn't mind being at work and someone goes "That's a boss Bitch." According to Nicki Minaj in that MTV documentary being called a Bitch when working means you're in power. Wait, I don't think you understand where I'm going with this.

See I live at home with my parents. They know when I wake up, when I go to work, when I come home, when I take baths, eat, watch television, and essentially go to sleep again. They know my every move (well when they can see it) so they have a perception of me. Their perception involves seeing me as a girl who does what she's supposed to and stays out of trouble. They get mad at me for doing little stuff like dropping imaginary crumbs on the floor and not waking up for church on Sundays, but no one ever got thrown in jail for those issues. So, in their world I'm seen as the good girl with no real life. It sounds so boring when said out loud. Then there's work.

At work I'm either the employee, the co-worker, or whatever nickname they want to call me because everywhere I go people seem to think my name is too long to pronounce. However, essentially at work I'm one of the many people striving to do a perfect job and please the customers. If that job is done to perfection at the end of the day they think of me as the tired co-worker that's ready to go home. There's not much more to it than that. It sounds boring, doesn't it.

However, being labeled a Bitch can add so many different meanings to a girl's life. For instance a girl that is a Bitch can be malicious, unpleasant, and downright selfish. I wouldn't mind being called a Bitch in that manner because sometimes to get what you want you have to be selfish.

Another meaning involves a person performing demeaning tasks for another person. This type of Bitch is what all the rappers refer to in their songs. I wouldn't mind being labeled a Bitch in that manner because songs with the word Bitch in them are always the best songs to dance to. These songs also successfully manage to get all girls out of a serious zone and into a laid back zone.

Then there's the meaning of Bitch where women take it and try to use it for power purposes. An example is saying "I'm a bad Bitch." As a woman saying "I'm a bad Bitch" is supposed to be indication that we have everything we need and want and we got it with no one's help. Men, rappers mainly, also try to give women power when using the word Bitch. Jay-Z has given Beyonce power by calling her a Bitch in several of his songs. Yo Gotti also tried to encourage women with the word in his famous song "5 Star Bitch." Sometimes I call myself a Bitch just to feel powerful, but then I wake up and look around and realize I'm just an ordinary boring woman.

A woman handles herself with the utmost respect, comes off as the perfect wife, girlfriend, or daughter, knows when she's needed or when someone needs her, and can rest her head at the end of the day knowing that she did her best. Being a woman is aiming for perfection. I don't always want to be a woman. Sometimes I just want to be called a Bitch.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Benefits Of Black Women by Jerry Lavigne Jr.

So most of those are not benefits of black women.

Intellectual Tips: Friends W/ Benefits Is Like Sex In The Kitchen

As I try to  mold my blog into the purpose it was created for, I'm coming up with new ideas to write about. My new topic that I want to start on here will be a category called Intellectual Tips. In this category I'll diverge some information that you should probably know. That is if you don't already know about it. This information will also come from the new studies that I'm embarking on. Okay, the first tip is about friends with benefits.

Friends with Benefits is like having sex in the kitchen.

According to @KinkyFacts on twitter sex in the kitchen is urgent, frantic and fabulous. Friends with benefits is the same way. They are urgent because you have the around for emergency sexual and possibly friendly fulfillment. The relationship with them is frantic because it is always filled with an unexplained intensity. It's fabulous you're never supposed to feel disappointment with a friend with benefits.

The moment these feelings go away it means the benefit is no longer there and there is no longer a friendship.

Monday, January 9, 2012

I'm Anti Relationships For Now, But Definitely Pro Heauxing

If you've been following me you know that I've started a series on heaxing. If you haven't read any of the former posts you can click here or read this post to get caught up. Heauxing just seems like a beautiful solutions to my man problems right now. Seriously I want to smell a man's cologne and feel his body beside me. I want to use my mouth and body to tease a man and then please him. However the cakin, late night phone calls, seeing each other at our every free moment, and having sleep overs can be left up to some other woman cause I don't want it. I'm anti relationships right now, but I am pro heauxing.

See, I can't be in a relationship because my thought process is all screwed up. My parents keep reminding me that they've financially taken care of me throughout my whole life, which is driving me crazy cause I'm trying to figure out how to do it on my own now. They also keep reminding me of how grateful I should be, but it's confusing cause I'm trying to figure out how my 25-yr-old wants and dreams fit into the equation of being grateful. To make it worse I live in their house, so they keep driving me crazy by reminding me of their rules. That leaves little room for me to find a quiet place at home to think and meditate and write. Then on top of that all my best friends are far away. One best friend is married, one is single and learning to live his life in a new place, and another one is a success story that I'm taking notes from. Then there's work. After eight hours at work, I just want to be alone. To top it all off, I keep meeting men that are anti relationships. Wait, the anti relationship men actually work for me.

The anti-relationship men provide me with that sexual longing that I sometime forget that I have. Most of the time they are pro-cuddling, which intensely increases my sex drive in a way that I'll never be able to explain. This is actually why in the past I've been anti-cuddling. In an old post I actually talked about the cuddle monster. There's only one problem.
I've tried being a heaux when I was pro relationships. At least I thought I was pro relationships at the time. However, the guy wanted something different I half heartedly settled for the lesser title. That failed miserable and when I put my mind to it again I also failed. However, now that I'm all screwed up and definitely anti relationships, maybe heauxing will work out. 

This is the second installment to my posts about heaux activities. 

Fuck Em Rick Ross Ft. 2 Chainz & Wale

Yes, I know this song is unrelate-able, but I like the part where it says "Fuck Em."

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Reevaluating Goals But Avoiding The Comfort Of Familiarity

Visions Of The Future: Reevaluating Goals But Avoiding The Comfort Of Familiarity

In my last post I highlighted on why Jakadrien Turner deserves some admiration and why my plans need to be reevaluated. However, updated news about Jakadrien's situation has led me to do further reevaluation. the updated news is that after she realized her lies would lead to deportation to Columbia she tried to tell the truth. However, neither the United States government nor the Columbian government believed her. After all many immigrants try to change their stories once they realize they're going back to their country. However, she wasn't from Columbia, but was forced to go all because she ran away from home and lied about her name. The consequence was ending up in a coma somehow and getting pregnant by a baby daddy she and the baby may never see again. WOW, just imagine if you thought you had this big bright idea of leaving familiarity for the unknown, went forward with it, and you experienced the worse possible outcome.

There's this one cuss word that absolutely scares me. It's so scary that I try to keep it out of my vocabulary at all costs. However, recently it found it's way resting gently on my heart for everyone to see. That word is "settling."

Settling essentially means getting comfortable with where you are, what you have and never striving for more. Settling is when a woman meet a nice guy and gets in a relationship with him just because he is nice. Settling is when a man goes to a car dealership and sees his dream car, but then buys another car just because it's cheaper. Settling is when parent's tell their children to strive for the jobs that easiest to get instead of the one that will make them happy. Settling is what crept into my mind a few days ago when I was at a weak point.

The idea was to come up with a plan B to make my future living situation comfortable. Plan A remains to move to a new state and start a career and life that makes me happy. However, this plan B would involve me apartment searching in Houston. The apartment search would end in me finding a comfortable one bedroom apartment and decorating it to my liking. Financially it would work because I'd already know that I'd have a steady income coming in to pay the rent. Realistically I'd still be in the city of familiarity and I'd essentially be settling.


While my goals need to be reevaluated to the point that they will successfully be achieved I don't want to change them to the point where I'm settling. I also don't want to end up like Jakadrien, pregnant in an unknown world and begging to come home.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Couple (Mini Episodes)

Jakadrien Turner Is Worthy Of Admiration And My Plans Are All Messed Up

You might be wondering who Jakadrien Turner is. Well, a year and a half ago a Dallas teenager decided to run away from home. At the time her grandfather had just died, her parents were divorcing, and she couldn't handle all the stress. After running away from home her grandmother eventually reported her as missing. No one could find her, so the grandmother did a search of her own. That search, for some odd reason, involved using the internet to figure out her granddaughter's whereabouts. The internet usage eventually worked. The grandmother located the missing teen in Columbia. The Columbian government was then notified of the American who was illegally in their country and she is currently detained there. That girl is Jakadrien Turner. However, this is not the whole story.

When Jakadrien ran away she was upset and determined to get far away. Somehow she did manage to get to Houston, which is approximately four hours away from Dallas. Once in Houston she was arrested for trying to steal items. When the police asked her name, she gave them the name of a 22 year old illegal immigrant from Columbia. The immigrant had an arrest warrant, so Jakadrien was detained until she could be deported to Columbia. She waited for months until finally arriving in a country where she didn't even speak the language. During this whole time Jakadrien was only 14 years old. Once there she was given a work visa and somehow gained internet access. During this time she successfully became a maid, somehow ended up in a coma, met the (supposed) love of her life, got a little homesick, money hungry, and eventually at the age of 15 pregnant. 

After discovering that she was accidentally deported Columbia eventually detained her, but as of January 6, 2012 Jakadrien is back in the United States with family. Although, this deportation was clearly no accident. This girl was a run away who succeeded in running to a new country and starting a brand new life. 

In the words of one of my friends "Either she's incredibly smart or incredibly dumb." However, whether she was crazy for going to Columbia by herself doesn't matter. Whether the United States messed up by deporting the wrong person doesn't matter either. What matters is that Jakadrien Turner did something many people, including me are still struggling with. She made plans to leave home and she went through with it.

Jakadrien was a runaway who didn't want to be home any longer. Somehow this girl got all the way from Dallas to Houston. Then somehow she managed to use an illegal immigrants name after getting in trouble with the cops. How did she pick a Columbian person's name? I actually used google to see if there's a list of illegal immigrant online cause she had to be incredibly lucky to make the name up. Then to top her plan of running away from home off, Jakadrien allows the United States to deport her to Columbia. She ran away to another country. 

However, at 25 years old with a college degree I'm stuck in my parent's house  trying to figure out the next move. Then again I have a million plans to accomplish my goals. They just involve getting up and going just like Jakadrien did. However, the older you get the more money starts to matter and the more people tell you that your main priorities are to pay bills and not be happy. Jakadrien was clearly not worried about bills or lack of money when she left the comfort zone of family members to go to a foreign country. So, clearly my mindset and plans are all messed up. It's time to reevaluate. 

Whoever thought that a 15 year old could force you to reevaluate your life.