Monday, January 23, 2012

Intellectual Tips: Fulfilling Limitless Expectations Takes Time

I met this guy once. He was a T.I. look-a-like and from Atlanta. I really wanted to get to know  him, but he was just looking for sex. I was a virgin at the time and let him know. The moment I said virgin he decided I wasn't the woman he wanted to see at the time. What he didn't realize is I would lose my virginity soon after, but to another guy that I barely knew.

Then there was another guy who let me know as soon as I met him that he was looking for a friend with benefits. He wasn't a friend, but I could work with that. However, I couldn't work with the idea of feeling rushed. There was the idea that I had to rush to be the most attractive girl, rush to give sex even if I wasn't ready to do to it, be a pro at sex although I was not, and at the same time keep it casual. Given a little time I could have become the best friend with benefits he ever had, but the pressure to move fast was too much for me. Since I couldn't handle the pressure we cut our connection and never spoke again.

You may be wondering where I'm going with this. Recently I was listening to Tyrese's song "Signs Of Lovemaking." In the song he has a verse dedicated to Scorpio's (my zodiac sign). One particular line in the verse goes "I met a Scorpio. She had no limit to where she'd go." In the past when meeting guys I've been forced to come up with what I will do and where my limit ends. However, the truth is I and other women don't actually have limits.

When it comes to falling in love or even lust we women are limitless. If we're with a man that cares a lot about sex we will go above and beyond to please in the bedroom. If he loves home cooked meals, but we can't cook we will learn how to cook. If we are comfortable sitting around the house but have a man that is adventurous, we will become adventurous to just please him. However, getting to the point of doing it all takes time. A man can't expect us to meet him and be cooking him dinner two days later at his house in our bra and panties. It takes time to get to that level of comfort.

However, many men don't understand that great sex or great lovemaking takes patience. They don't understand that getting to know us women takes more than one day. They're just anxious to get us to the limitless point and if we can't do it in a rush, we're left alone.

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