Saturday, August 31, 2013

What #31WriteNow Has Taught Me

Sometimes you have to put the thought of getting new readers, followers, and fans out of your mind. Even if your goal is to get more views, sometimes you have to put aside the idea of getting and keeping others' attention. It's not always about how many people you can get to pay attention to you. Sometimes it's about motivating other people to be better versions of themselves. This is what Luvvie's #31writenow challenge taught me.

I should have picked up on this a year ago when I participated in the #30in30 writing challenge done by Aliya S. King. It was just like Luvvie's challenge in that it gathered bloggers into a big community and everyone wrote in unison. However, once the challenge was over many people stopped blogging regularly and some stopped altogether. Yeah, I saved blog links and continually checked once the month of August was over. But Why? They were good. They were so motivated during the challenge. Why would they decrease the amount of effort they had been putting in their writing.

Honestly, even though today is the last day of the writing challenge, some writers quit a few days into the challenge. They had so many excuses; too busy, too hard to come up with new topics, not good enough.

I always figure if a person starts up a blog and there are way more words than pictures or videos, they want a writing career. Whether it's in fiction writing, poetry, or some form of journalism that person is a writer. To keep their skills sharp and so they are for real, they have to keep writing. It can be the 500 words a day journalists swear by. It could be a post a week to keep up the consistency. No matter the consistency of the person, some people need motivation to keep up their talents.

If I have to be that person, I will be. I plan to motivate as many people as possible to keep their blogs active, keep their writing skills sharp, and take themselves seriously. So, if you started this challenge, I've checked your blog every day even if you stopped five days into it. If you did stop five days into it I'll find you and motivate you to do better. For the rest of y'all I have my eyes on your blogs.

What did this writing challenge teach you?

Friday, August 30, 2013

Faithful by @Plies #31WriteNow

Women have you ever sexed a man so good, that he became extremely jealous of any other man talking to you? Well, Plies has released song just for you. 

Faithful is the official first single from Plies upcoming album Purple Heart. It features Rico Love and gives lots of love to a woman's pussy. It also shows how protective a man is once he gets the good stuff. Everything Plies describes is exactly how a man acts. He's not talking about his faithfulness either. It's all about how faithful us women are. Check out Faithful below. 

R&B Divas LA Monologues & My Opinion #31WriteNow

The R&B Divas have done their monologues. 

Yesterday I expressed my amazement with Lil Mo, Chante Moore, Michel'le, and Claudette Ortiz. You can read about it here. They were amazement. Everything was organized. Fred did a great job working with the women and producing the show. You can check it out below, along with Kelly Price and Dawn Robinson's Not Your Mama's Mongologues

I'm still confused about why Kelly Price felt everyone was against her. I do realize it was because she felt that she lost control once they started planning everything without her being available. You can read more about my opinion of Kelly Price The Boss in this blog post. It was her own fault. Also, the concept for the different monologues are different. While the other four women put on a very relatable play, Kelly and Dawn sat there and talked. I thought Kelly was going to offer more, but if that's all she had then I guess we have to take it. 

Anyway, what did you think about the monologues? It makes me want to get over this stage fright and do my own. 

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Lashuntrice Vs. Lashuntrice (Inspired By R&B Divas) #31WriteNow

I wanted to talk about the Divalogues that were shown on R&B Divas LA season finale. Did you watch?

These monologues featured Lil Mo, Chante Moore, Claudette Ortiz, and Michel'le. No one knew what to expect. At least I wasn't prepared for the show these four women put on. I did know that they would be touching on the deepest of personal issues. However, once they began everything flowed powerfully. I was in awe, but was able to relate to each story at the same time.

Lil Mo Vs. Cynthia reminded me of my own struggles with being myself versus being who I was raised to be. Chante Moore made me reminisce on this journey to finding love. Claudette Ortiz made me reflect on the loss of self worth and whether I've gotten it back. Michel'le swam the deepest by talking about a suicide attempt that only led to a little more than half a day of sleep. Each story was powerful, but made me reflect on my own struggles. I call the following Lashuntrice Vs. Lashuntrice.

Lashuntrice Vs. Lashuntrice 
There is Lashuntrice The Parent Pleaser. As a kid she is taught success is the way. Read to learn. Speak properly. Lose the accent and slang. Get no less than A's. Stay out of trouble. When teased, tell the teacher. Don't fight. Only focus on church and school. Be a good girl. The parent pleasure doesn't know how to fight. She doesn't know how to stand up for herself. She hides behind books. She stays quiet. She runs to no one out of fear that no one will care. Her success to everyone else is staying to herself. She tries to take her lessons into adulthood. The kids don't tease. There are adult bullies. Success isn't easy. There are real failures. Lashuntrice is a pleaser. She doesn't know how to stand up for herself. She is continually backed into a wall. She feels voiceless. She feels there is no one she can share her tears with. She has failed at pleasing her parents and in essence fails at pleasing everyone else. 

Then there is Lashuntrice The Independent Woman. As a kid she was curious about the world. So she started reading and taking in the news. What 10 year old reads Stephen King? What 10 year old watches 60 Minutes? As a teen she progressed more into her own world. She knew she wanted to become a writer. She knew she wanted to leave her environment. She knew she'd one day start to explore possibilities that leaving has to offer. But other teens thought she was weird. Why is that girl Lashuntrice so reserved? She didn't give a damn. She just ignored them. As an adult it's not teens judging her. It's other adults. The independent woman fights to maintain her self worth. The independent woman spends her own money to dive more into her first and only love. The independent woman doesn't care about pleasing anyone. 

However, Lashuntrice The Independent Woman and The Parent Pleaser are the same person. They often clash and when they do, times get rough. Even when Lashuntrice knows herself, sometimes it's hard for her to know herself. Does she sit still because one of her parents told her that's the best option? Does she risk spending all she's saved up for a once-a-year opportunity to learn something new and visit a new place? Does she settle for being disconnected from the world for 8 hours at a time behind a desk? Does she put those research skills she is so good at to work to find out what is going on with everyone else? If only I could put one side of me to use and be totally satisfied...

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

@Plies Fuckin Or What Music Video

Would You Twerk For A $50,000 Scholarship? #31WriteNow

"You say you need some extra money to go to college with, and it just so happens I got a lot of it."

If Juicy J. does have a lot of money to hand a college chick, we're not going to find out just this moment. Recently he offered a $50,000 college scholarship to the freshman that can twerk the best. However, after news of the scholarship hit the internet and people immediately became angry, Juicy J. changed his mind. 

Upon hearing about the scholarship I thought it was a joke. What college would take a girl seriously if they knew she was paying with money she won from a twerking contest? You never hear anyone in college say they actually make money from stripping, prostituting, or selling drugs. Who would want to walk up in a college with everyone knowing a rapper gave them money for shaking their ass the best? No one. 

However, due to the fact that Juicy J.'s C.D. Stay Trippy just hit stores today and there is a song calledp Scholarship, which features ASAP Rockyon it, I think this was just real good publicity. 

"You a college chick. Keep twerking baby. Might earn you a scholarship." See, it was most definitely good publicity for the C.D. and not a real scholarship. 

The What-If Game (That Men Play) #31WriteNow

"Girls only say I hate you to the guys that they love." So I refrain from saying anything at all. I don't hate him. I don't love him. I don't feel any sympathy for him. I'm no longer going to pat him on the back for doing a good job. I'm no longer going to shed any tears for the pain that he spreads.

Do you want to know what this one has done? I just wanted to be left alone and still do. However, having a girlfriend is not enough for him. Knowing that I don't want to play the role of a side chick is not enough for him. Knowing that all I want is to be shown some respect is not enough for him. So via Facebook he gave me a scenario.

The idea was that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. The idea was that if he had just at that moment broken up with her, would I be willing to have sex. Why would I have sex with him? Because his break-up with her was bound to happen (supposedly). Because he doesn't plan to be with her forever (even though they are together now.) Because he can admit that it's fucked up.

I think in his mind he really believed I'd fall for it. He thought I would really believe he had just broken up with her, become weak in the knees or that other area of my body, and invite him over for a couple hours. Nahh, I'm not that dumb. Do I look that dumb? I hope not, because I am not. I know the games, but this one I'm not willing to play.

You should beware of a woman with a broken heart, but what about a man set out to tear her apart? This is a real question.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

8 Goals To Accomplish Before Turning 30 #31writenow

1. Move To California
Even if Cali might not be the state for me to call home, before 30 I plan to move there anyway. It's no longer a career move. It has become a personal goal.

2. Take Pole Dancing Classes
Pole dancing has been on my mind for a little over a year now. By the time I'm 30, it should happen. In fact I'm thinking about signing up this October, right before my 27th birthday.

3. Travel More
I feel like this traveling goal is going way too slowly. In 2011 I went to one new place, 2012 one new place, and this year I've been to one new place. I have to visit several spots before 30. In three years I don't want to have only hit up three spots outside of where I already live.

4. Make New Friends
No one ever told me how hard it would be to connect with new people after college. Everyone says the best way to get ahead is to have connections, but I think I've lost more friends than I've made. So within three years I have to build friendly bridges and make sure they don't burn.

5. Get A Passport
This goes with goal three. A blogger, Babs of Babs In Blogland, I met at Blogging While Brown mentioned an international bloggers trip to Belize. Even if I don't go with a bunch of bloggers, the idea of going is new and cool. Can this be done before I turn 30? The trip is for 2015. We'll see.

6. Write a book
I've made a couple manuscripts, but when I can raise enough money to really get published I'm going to write a book for real. Fresh Poems. Some short stories. A real purpose behind it all. For me. Not for you all. I want this to happen before I turn 30.

7. Fall In Love With Life
Author Darnella Ford is the best definition of this. She can find beauty in just about everything. Or maybe that's just my perception of her, but by 30 I want to be that way. I want to find beauty in everything I can touch and even things I can't touch, but know exists.

8. Step Out of My Comfort Zone
If I can achieve all the above, then my comfort zone will be broken. Have you ever felt like you were trapped in a box? Every now and then you get a peek at the outside world, but then you're forced back into that box. I want out to get out of the box for good.

I'll break some of this down more in another post. Do you have a list of things to do before 30? Have you started working on it? This is just the short version of my list, but there is a lot of work to do in three years.

Monday, August 26, 2013

Advice About Men No One Ever Gave Me #31WriteNow

Someone will always think it's my fault when a man does wrong.

This is some advice I had to learn the hard way. It was shocking. I was so caught off guard when I learned how protected a man really is that all I could mutter was "What About Me?" See I learned this several years ago around this same time.

 I was 20 and was experimenting with online dating sort of. No, it wasn't eHarmony or any of those other internet sites that you have to pay to use. It was on Facebook. I wasn't looking for lust (or love) via Facebook, but this guy caught my attention. He was cute, light skinned, and had just started growing dreads. He was also approximately a year and a half younger than me, but that didn't matter. Because he was interested in me, I was interested in getting to know him. So when I gave the okay we proceeded.

In the process I found out we had some friends in common. One of those was my best friend. He had the same major as her so they'd met in a class. Another was a girl that stayed in the same dorm as me freshman year. Even though I was getting to know him, I felt better if I talked to someone that knew him to get a better judgment. So I picked the girl I knew from the dorms. While she was cool, she wasn't so friendly.

Upon talking to her about her male friend, she started grilling me.

"What are your expectations with him? "
"That's my homeboy. You better treat him right."
"You better not hurt his feelings."

So much was said, I really don't remember it all anymore. I just remember being shocked. He was a man. In the movies everyone always shows affection for the woman. Her feelings matter. Her body matters. What will happen next is most important for her? However, this girl didn't give a damn about my feelings. She was trying to protect him as much as possible.

There was also another time I was approached by a friend about a guy. She asked if I was flirting with someone else's boyfriend. It was again another shocking moment. Why was she confronting me? He approached me at a party that his girlfriend was also at. She needed to be putting him in check. But No! I was the one being confronted.

I talk to friends about the men, or man of the moment, I'm dealing with, but I never go into too much detail now because of this lesson. I want them to know what's happening, but candle handle them criticizing me.

I know I'm not the bad girl in every experience I have with a man, but the fact is someone is blaming me. Someone is waiting for me to mess up. Someone is telling him he can do a whole lot better. Why did no one inform me of this lesson when I was growing up?

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Am I Really Different? #31WriteNow (Sunday Reflections)

I used to think I was different.

It was definitely a learned mindset. Growing up while everyone else was very talkative, it only took a couple people to repeatedly tell me I was a quiet person. As much as I talked to close friends, I began to believe I really was quiet.

During those childhood years where I'd either be writing or reading, I believed others who called me weird for it. They weren't writing or reading for entertainment. They were hanging out with friends all the time, playing video games, and gossiping. Yeah, I was the weird one.

I wanted to be more like the other kids growing up. I wanted to go to every birthday party, experience my first club with close friends I'd grown up with, and be apart of the gossip. I wanted those sexual experiences all the other teens were having and talking about. In college I wanted to be able to plan the luxurious vacations away like everyone else. But someone had made me believe this label that I was different from everyone else.

I didn't deserve the vacations because of lack of money. Who keeps putting off fun because of no money? I wasn't having a lot of sex because someone had labeled me a good girl. But does that make everyone else bad? I didn't get the club experiences or birthday party invites because I was told maybe those girls weren't my friends. How was I supposed to know if I was isolated away from them? Instead I isolated myself to writing and reading. According to some folks that made me different.

As I look around at almost 27 years a lot has changed. I'm not alone in my reading and writing. A lot of people do those. I still don't know who all my friends are because everyone isolates themselves from each others lives. It's normal for people to brag about how they ignore the people close to them, but still want to be nosy. I'm having sex just like everyone else. There's nothing different about that. I'm definitely not the only picky person in the world. I still lack in the funds to do everything I put my mind to, but there are some traveling memories hidden away in my mind. Now when others talk about where they've been, I can add to the conversation. It makes me fit in.

So am I really different from anyone else? I never set a goal to stand out and fitting in isn't as bad as it sounds.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

An Invitation To Financial Issues #31WriteNow

Yesterday I decided to send an invitation to financial issues. It was either kindly bring them into my world or they force themselves in. Since I can see them coming, I'd rather greet them with open arms. What else is there to do?

I tried to be financially responsible. Being the daughter of a teacher and banker in a management position, it's been forced into my brain forever. So I tried to be responsible. No spring breaks while in college, because that money could be used toward something else. No extravagant spending. No name brand clothing, unless it was on sale or a gift. I was always managing my account. Online banking is the best and worse thing to happen to people who constantly worry about their money. So the minute online banking became available to me, I started monitoring constantly. I still do. In fact I logged in right before starting this post.

This is how financially responsible I've been. My bank account has only hit negative twice.

The first time was right at the end of my freshman year of college. As much as I liked being in the cafeteria with my friends, the food did nothing for me. I had to eat though. However, towards the end end of that second semester my money became low and my parents said I needed to survive off of that cafeteria food. A couple times I became so hungry I used my card to get outside food and the account went negative. I didn't care.

The second time was soon after I graduated college. With my money dwindling and no job, there was nothing being deposited in the account. That was when I found out Bank of America has a policy where they charge you when your account hits a certain low amount. So I didn't zero out the account this time. Instead the bank charged my account a fee for being low and then it hit negative.

During those times I didn't have bills. However, they control my very existence now. You know all about those monthly bills. I'm not going to lie. I'm one of those people that spend more than I make.

This was all cool when I had an abundance of money in my savings, but the savings is gone. However, I heard it takes spending all you have in order to better yourself and becoming better is always the ultimate goal. I did tell y'all I'm creating my own privilege. I just hope I'm ready when the financial issues come knocking. I did voluntarily invite them.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Questions Rappers Need To Answer #31WriteNow

Imagine This As A Woman
Why would you want to see a woman shake like a dog that just took a bath? If I had the chance to interview a rapper, that's one of the questions I'd ask.

Recently rapper Sage The Gemini explained on Shade 45 that red nose originated from him imagining a woman shaking her ass like a dog that is drying off. Maybe it's because I'm not a dog lover, but that's weird. Instead of twerking, I actually decided to try and shake just the way a dog would. I was crazy and not sexy at all. So why would a man compare the way a dog moves to the way a woman moves? I like that red nose song by the way. Along, with this there are several other questions I have for rappers.

Why does your woman have to be light skinned?
In my mind, all rappers around the world had a meeting some kind of way. It could have been a huge skype meeting, a huge phone call, or a mass texting session. However they did it, they had this big giant consensus that all rappers would prefer light skinned women. Dark skinned women stopped by "in" in the rap culture world.

Why does your woman not speak English? 
I think it was rapper Future that said his woman doesn't speak any "Englo." Let's ignore the fact that he is dating Ciara. Why would a man who speaks perfect English and Ebonics want a woman who doesn't speak the same language as him? You know why a woman would want a man like that, right. "My pockets, they on gigantic." Oh yeah, Future already told y'all. Here I am trying to be all intelligent, get money, and attract the perfect man, and I find out rappers don't like women who understand them.

I'm not trying to attract a rapper though. Just saying. 

Why do you not remember how much money you made? 
Drake said this in his song All Me. Listen, somebody lying. Whether you're a rapper or not, all of y'all men are married to your bank accounts. Women come second. 

Who told you I wanted to fuck you? 
"Heard she wanna fuck me, know you feel some type of way." Who told Rich Homie Quan that? If I ever met him, I'd ask. It's only right that he would be talking about me. Why do all of your rappers think a woman automatically wants your dick inside of her and for her, wants to share you with other women, and will be around forever? I will however be your friend though. When we meet, we'll discuss this friendship. You are everyone's rich homie, right? Wait, don't answer that yet. 

Bonus Question:
What do you mean where the fuck I been? 
I'm getting money too. 2 Chainz gets my attention every time, but for real. I've been getting money to. Why haven't you noticed? See, again men are married to the money first and then the women get their attention. 
This will need a part two. What questions do you have for rappers? I know you have some. 

American Horror Story Ventures Into Witchcraft #31WriteNow

The longest running horror series on television is coming back to your screen soon and this time it's all about witchcraft in New Orleans.

That's right. October 9th season three of American Horror Story: Coven will begin. It will be all about witchcraft in New Orleans and a centuries old feud that is going on. Several actors are returning on the season, such as Jessica Lange. Also Angela Bassett and Gaboure Sidibe will be added to the cast. 

I'm so excited. I'm such a horror fan and nothing on t.v. has been as good as AHS. In the past I had a male friend that I constantly discussed this show with, but it's been a while since we talked. Any horror fanatics out there who are fans? Meet me in front of the television in October and let's discuss each episode. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

5 Lessons I Learned From Famous People In 2013 #31WriteNow

Have you ever listened to the stories of famous people and compared them to your life?

Yeah, me too. I've been doing this for a while. In fact last year I wrote a blog post titled B I C T H~In That Order, Lessons Learned From Reality Televison just to point out what I was learning. This current post is a follow-up, but about famous people in general. Everything has happened in 2013. ENJOY!

1. Black Woman Pain Is Everywhere
Have you ever been accused of being an angry black woman? You may have just been trying to tell your man what he did wrong. He cheated, didn't he? He didn't eat your food, which really sucks. He tried to friend zone you, but still requested you two have sex. He brought that heaux around his family, but has yet to introduce you. Have have a right to be mad, but the minute the angry black woman title slips out none of it is relevant. This example of shown on the reunion show of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. From Mimi to Joseline to Erica, the pain was real.

There could be other reasons. The milk had expired at Walmart. They were out of eggs and that's all you went there for. You got in trouble at the job. It happens to us all, especially since black women are expected to handle 10 times more than anyone else. The black woman pain is real.

2. Rich Women Problems Aren't Regular Problems
While I'm worried about making sure I can eat and pay the bills, Mayte Garcia and Jessica Conseco of Hollywood Exes are worried about fur. While I'm worried about paying the bills on time every time, Lindsay Lohan is giving interviews saying how at 18 she couldn't handle being worth $7 million. Well damn... While my friends and I are daydreaming about better days, Evelyn Lozada spends the whole season premiere of Basketball Wives discussing how something a year ago effected her. Do rich women not have lives?

3. Free Publicity Is Real If You Have The Right Cash
Jay-Z is worth approximately $500 million. Earlier in the summer to promote the Magna Carta album, Samsung paid him $5 million to give his album to customers for free. Can you get paid for someone else to promote your item or brand? Currently I can't.

4. Rich Women Have Trouble Expressing Themselves Too
I've been watching the first season of R&B Divas LA. While the women have really opened up to each other, they are also supposed to be working on monologues. They only person that has planned hers is Lil Mo. She's a go-getter. Everyone else can't seem to get on the same page with emotions, especially Kelly Price. Come Rich Woman. If I can write a monologue, you can too. However, if I dug deep within myself and wrote it I might have trouble revealing it to others.

Another great example of this is Ashanti. Ashanti makes beautiful music, but never tells us where anything comes from. Woman, we know you have experiences just like the rest of us.

5. Rich People Problems Aren't Regular Problems
Jermaine Dupri, also known as JD, has been in the media for money troubles. These troubles stem from a $5 million loan he took out the bank and could not afford to make payments on after getting halfway there. Wait...can you take out $5million from the bank? I can't.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Five Things Bloggers Do When You're Not Looking #31WriteNow

This post was inspired by Rae Mathis' post on 21 Things Bloggers Do When You're Not Looking. So let's skip introductions and get straight to the point.

1. I read a lot.
Rae stated this on her blog. It is no joke. I'm an addict or books, magazines, and blog posts. I can't stop reading. If you think I've never viewed your blog, you are wrong. I'm reading your blog as you're reading this. I soak up interesting information like a sponge.

2. I go out on a lot of dates.
That is with myself. As much as I like to read, no book has ever informed me how lonely life can get the older you get. This is especially if you're single. So as much as I want to sit at the computer and always read about everyone else's interesting life, I get up off my butt to go sit at a crowded restaurant and stuff my face full of food alone. It's not that lonely once the food arrives and I have good music blasting through my ears out of the iPhone.

3. I flirt a lot.
How do you think the erotic poems get created? Men flirt and I flirt back. They want more and sometimes I take the bait. It doesn't matter if that man is not looking for commitment or if he admits right away that he only wants sex. Whatever happens leads to more inspiration for me later.

4. I daydream.
When times get tough, I disappear into another world. Even when times are easy, sometimes I just need to escape. You know how that sexy man can say "Hi" to you one day? I take it to another level and create a fantasy in my daydream. The hard part is balancing fantasy with reality. I've gotten good at daydreaming.

5. I put myself in situations.
This is similar to number four. Have you ever seen the movie Stranger Than Fiction? Well, I don't sit on the side of a bridge to imagine a car going overboard? I also don't talk to the characters I create in my head. I do, however, sit on the edge of my bed and let my imagination run wild. When on those self-dates, my imagination goes crazy. Well, no matter where I am my mind is running wild.

As a blogger, what do you do when no one else is watching? Even if you don't write, what are some things you do when no one else is around?

Monday, August 19, 2013

K. Michelle~ Pay My Bills

"Dip dip. Dot. Oh Boy. I'm real hot. Baby, don't stop." After listening to K. Michelle's album Rebellious Soul album, I've found a favorite song. It's Pay My Bills

"I'll give you birthday sex on a payment plan." You all remember that R. Kelly was her mentor at one point, right? "Sometimes she does it so good that you gotta tip her." Well, this song has touches of him all over it and I love it. Listen to Pay My Bills below. 

I Killed My BFF

Lifetime has a show where people are killing their BFF's.

For some people meeting friends is hard, so when they meet a person they can call their best friend they cling extra tight to that person. This is mostly done with girls. As girls, we take our friendships very seriously; so seriously we will call them our best friend forever. Having a best friend forever, or BFF for short, means watching each other get older, get married, have kids, and grow into old age. At least that's what I thought until I watching Lifetime Movie Network's show called I Killed My BFF.

The first episode was about two lawyers who were the closest of friends and also business partners. A gambling addiction and greed led to one killing the other. This second episode was about two teens who became best friends, but then one started dating the other's ex-boyfriend. The ex-boyfriend soon became the new boyfriend of the best friend.

See.. you don't date your friend's ex, but actually I don't believe you kill your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend either. That's what happened though. The ex-girlfriend/best friend was jealous, so the new girlfriend felt she had to get rid of her BFF and she did with the help of her man. Together they strangled the girl and then tried to burn her over and over again. After unsuccessfully burning her body, they chopped her up into pieces. They were not joking about this crime. Eventually guilt got the better of the boyfriend and he turned himself in. They've received sentences of 45 and 55 years in prison.

Wait, what is LMN trying to say with this show? You can't trust your BFF? Your BFF might be your last BFF for life if they see something bad enough to kill you for? Your BFF might also be your enemy? Ugh,  I just want to enjoy having friends but this show is too interesting not to watch.

Weave And Church Don't Mix #31WriteNow

That is according to Texas Pastor A.J. Aamir.

"I don't want my member's so focused on what's on their heads and not in their heads."

Pastor Aamir has told the women in his church not to wear weave anymore. Being the pastor at Resurrecting Faith, located in Waco, Texas, he feels it takes away from the purpose of being in the church. He also sees weave as a financial burden burden. 

"I lead a church where our members are struggling financially. I mean really struggling. Yet a 26 year old mother in my church has $300 weave on her head." 

The pastor has a point. No matter how much we are struggling, we women will spend every dime we have on getting our hair done. Actually according to the Florida Courier as of 2012 black hair care and cosmetics is a $9 billion business. You can click the link to read about it. 

Pastor Aamir is not the first person to try and keep weave out of the church. In 2010 Pastor Enoch Adeboye enforced several strict rules at his church, Redeem Church in Nigeria (a country in Africa). These rules included no shirt skirts, trinkets, artificial hair (weave), and trousers. He started by enforcing these rules upon the church workers. It's hard to control the whole congregation. 

How do you ban weave though? Actually, pastors cannot enforce these rules. It's illegal to deny people based on what they're wearing unless it's a privately owned place. I think anyone should be able to walk up in a church wearing whatever they want, even if that weave cost $900 and they skipped out on paying. In the end only God can judge them. 

But maybe #blackpowerisforblackmen when a black man can say that he doesn't want women wearing weave in his workplace. 

Sunday, August 18, 2013

For The Love of Writing #31WriteNow

I'm a writer.

I spend most nights coming up with blog posts to share with the world. Every once in a while a terrible post gets published, but it doesn't even matter. I don't always write to show how good I am. Sometimes I do it just for the love of the art; just for the expression of myself.

Now I don't always write. Sometimes, no matter where I am, I stare off into nowhere coming up with stories to write about. Those stories are given beginnings, middles, and sometimes endings. Then they end up disappearing. They have to disappear. I can't put them on anything at work. When I am stuffing my face full of food, it's more refreshing than penning that story.

However, when I am writing I feel more alive than ever. Have you ever gone through a day just doing the motions? You never what needed to be done and just acted upon it, but you didn't care one way or another. Yeah, I have those moments but never when I'm coming up with a new idea, writing about something I heard, or just going on a random rant.

I feel alive when I'm doing this. However, it's really hard to explain to someone that doesn't understand the craft. How do you do that? I've been trying to explain the love of this art forever. At times I've given up, but certain comments have made me start again. It's a lost cause, but it doesn't change how passionate I am when I'm in the moment.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

If I Was (Poem) #31WriteNow

If I was one of those lovey dovey girls
Always waiting by the phone for your call girls
or always expecting a "good morning" text girls
one of those "surprise me with roses" girls
or even "You're the most special person in my life" girls
If I was willing to cook for you
And clean for you
Or fly to your current state to visit you
Or even go to your hometown and meet your family
There's so much I'm not willing to do for you
Like beg you to be with me
Or force a title on you
Or die if you don't want me
Especially if you don't see me as wifey material
What if you only see me as easy?
Then you definitely wouldn't save me
Wait, I'm putting words in your mouth
And I don't want to feed you any ideas
Cause I'm not one of those girls
But if I was that type of girl
The girl that would ride for you
And always make an effort to be by your side
There would be no confusion
I'd just say what's on my mind
The fact that I want to make you mine
But I'm not that type of girl

Is It Procrastination? #31WriteNow

I'm moving into a new apartment complex this Wednesday coming up. It's written in stone and money orders. The hours for the movers to arrive is set up and an idea of how to pack up everything is sitting in my head. The cable people are even scheduled to hook up everything in the new apartment. However, nothing has been done yet. 

I haven't packed a thing. I have an idea of how the clothes will be packed and moved, but none have been taken out of drawers yet. There's an idea of how the movies will be moved, but they're all over the place right now. Everything is still in place as if I'm going to be here a month from now, but that won't  be the case. I'm moving in less than a week and nothing has been packed. 

I have paid the application fee, the $200 refundable deposit, and the rent for the move-in day. However, they claim the apartment isn't ready yet. How could it not be ready if I'm moving in there in less than a week? The woman I talked to yesterday said since my move-in day is scheduled for Tuesday everything should be ready by then. That is pissing me off. 

If only I made more money and could afford one of those $900 + places. The rent would be too damn high, but I would know that I would be moving into a place in excellent condition and excellent services. These low budget apartments don't give a damn about anyone. 

Or is it just me? My patience is low these days (possibly because my money is low). Are these people procrastinating with me? They have my money. I'm nervous. After looking at the unit they show everyone I was pleased, but now I'm not so sure. 

Friday, August 16, 2013

Moving Through With A Goal #31WriteNow

Have you ever abandoned any goals that were extremely important to you? Whether they were abandoned because of naysayers or distractions, do those goals ever cross your mind now? Coming from a person that has a hard time letting go, I always remember the failed goals and the ones that can still be attainable.
From a 2010 Photo Album I titled "Gotta Find Peace of Mind"

For instance, while in college I made goals to never have roommates again after the last one, move to (first) Atlanta and then eventually to California. However, I was infatuated with the idea of Atlanta because that's where The Weather Channel and CNN's headquarters reside. The goal was to get a job working behind the scenes in a media outlet, preferably one of the two mentioned. From there I would work my way to the top, or a comfortable enough position. Yeah, none of that happened after college.

Upon having to live with my parents again after college I created new goals. One of those goals involved moving to California. Atlanta was ditched because I've been tired of the south for a while anyway. I found out that to start out I would need to save up at least $5,000 to make the move.

To not stress over the idea of moving to California, I also created a deadline to get published. Well, there were two deadlines to go with both goals. The deadlines passed, the goals were unaccomplished, and I was more stressed than ever because of circumstances.

To reduce stress I created freedom moments. You know how you always plan these great times out with friends only for them to never be available? I was tired to no one ever being available. I gave myself to freedom to go to clubs alone, sit in fancy restaurants alone, and take walks by the lake alone. However, while they relaxed me they weren't enough.

To get better I had to create another goal. It involved digging into my savings and moving out of my parent's house. The problem is that $5,000 goal would become even harder to attain. A year after moving out, there isn't even $1,000 in my savings.

I moved and will soon be moving to another apartment, but none of this has to do with my goals. None of this feels like achievement. While it's going to take a lot more stress, time, and patience, and sacrifices I have to move through with a goal. I have to move through with more than one goal.

Have you ever went the total opposite direction your heart was saying go in? Has it worked for you?

Thursday, August 15, 2013

10 Year Old Girl Arrested For Rape, What? #31WriteNow

In my hometown of Houston, Texas a 10 year old girl has been charged with raping a 4 year old boy. I'm confused. How did this happen? What exactly did she do to him?
Reports say the incident happened in April on the courtyard of the apartment complex. Surely she couldn't have known what she was doing. In fact when someone saw whatever was about to happen, why didn't they step in? Once charged she was taken to a juvenile justice center and held four days before Quanell X stepped in. I'm mad. If this little girl loses this case, she'll become a sex offender. That means before she gets to even experience grown-up life, she's already labeled a criminal. What. The. Hell?

I'm more hurt for this ten year old than the four year old. They were probably just playing around. The mother of the four year old probably asked him what he'd been up to during the day. I'm sure she wasn't in the courtyard at this time of this supposed crime. The four year old revealed what he had done and she was mad her child was playing with a ten year old girl. She should have been watching him in the first place. She made up her mind that a ten year old committed a serious crime against her son and decided to go to authorities with it. That's usually how it works. The authorities decided the ten year old girl was in the wrong. Maybe she is, but she's still a child. If anyone should be charged for what they think she did, it should be her mom.

What are parents exposing their children to these days? What are they teaching them? Well, actually it's not about what the child is exposed to. It's what the parent teaches them. If that little girl saw something inappropriate and decided to act it out, it was up to an adult to let her know beforehand that was not okay for a child to do.

This little girl didn't kill anyone. She didn't harm anyone in any way. Everyone involved is still alive and unbruised. She does know right from wrong. If she did something sexual to traumatize that four year old, maybe their should be consequences. However, those consequences should fall on the people who understand. Think about it. She is ten years old. She has the rest of her life ahead of her. However, because of one act outside in public with another child she could be labeled a sex offender for the rest of her life. How will she explain at thirty years of age that the label was put on her at ten?

P.S. Did you act out in a sexual nature as a child? I will admit that once I hit the preteens my hormones were curious, but I wanted to be curious with others the same age as me. Do kids not play with other kids the same age as them anymore? GAWD, what is really going on?

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Love of My Life (Poem)

 I felt a poem coming on so I spent the last hour writing. It's currently 3:37am. The title is dedicated to the fact that I was listening to Erykah Badu's Love Of My Life when I started writing. Enjoy!

Dear love of my life
I’m finally ready to reveal myself to you
But not just between my legs
And not just through a computer screen
And not just on a romantic date out
Or a passionate night in

If you feel like I do
Let’s take our time
Explore each other physically
And explore each other mentally
Take our time
Set the scene to know each other
So we can grow together
No watching from across the room
We both having feelings
And no shy girl act
I’m facing my fears
The fear of being rejected
The fear of you saying you’re not ready
Don’t play games
No “friends w/ benefits
No lack of titles
I’m too old for that
Or maybe I respect you too much
Remember the conversations so far?
Not every guy receives explicit words
And remember all the pictures so far?
Means you’re trustworthy

So let me open up to you
Explore boundaries I never knew I had
Let me love you
Like I never knew I could
Let’s make this official
Because if you’re the love of my life,
Nothing else matters

11 Reasons Why #BlackPowerIsForBlackMen #31WriteNow

Have you ever noticed that when it comes to black power all the power is handed over to the black man? At least in public black men are heavily supported for every cause there is. On the other hand, black women are often ignored when we really need to be paid attention to the most.

Someone women can handle being pushed to the background. However, not every black woman can do it. That's why there is a new hashtag on twitter dedicated to black women saying why #blackpowerisforblackmen. One tweet was mentioned above. Below are 10 more.

Do you have anything to add? Do you feel like black power is really for black men? Even though the media supports black men over black women, as I look around I see more black women prospering.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Sexting, DoThe Risks Even Matter? #31WriteNow

10 Photos. That was how many I sent. No clothes. That was what he requested. 

Well, he requested three photos. One before sex, one in the zone, and one at climax; but I couldn't stop at just three. I'm a camera addict and a perfectionist. In a world where thick is better, my skinny behind had to make sure I looked extra good. But no make-up. 

I had no make-up on. There was maybe a little bit of lipstick from earlier in the day still lingering on my lips. Other than that it was just my pure silky skin from head to toe. I was nervous before I started. These photos would be the riskiest I've ever taken, especially since he had also requested creativity. How creative could I get? Before my mind got too out of control with thoughts, I started. 

From doing regular poses to capturing to myself touching myself to bringing in a toy, I was on fire. The fear of not knowing what to do went away. The time to send them came. I stared at each photo twice. I wanted to make sure I looked good in my birthday suit. I wanted to make sure I met his standards. Before my mind started to get out of control with how the photos came out, I pressed send. He replied almost instantly. 

Now for the risks. There are risks that go with sending explicit photos. There's the risk of him revealing them to his friends, them being leaked to the public, a ruined career, and a ruined reputation. The risks are overwhelming to a point where it can keep many woman from even participating in the activity of sexting. After all, sexting doesn't just consist of photos. It also involves words and with the invention of screen shots, words are always under scrutiny. 

However, there is a risk in everything. Whether it's stepping outside and risking getting hit by a car or taking a shower and risking falling on all those sharp objects, it's a risk. See, those don't even make sexting look so bad anymore. So while I won't send a photo to every man that asks, I'm comfortable taking that risk. 

Are you comfortable enough with the act of sexting? Do you fear the risks that come along with it? Talk to me.