Tuesday, September 27, 2016

"This Is For The Lover In You" Coming Soon

"This Is For The Lover In You" is poetry about her first experiences in crushing on a guy, kissing, being romanced with gifts and nice places, and falling into lust. It also has poems that expresses her frustration with trying to be loved and getting hurt in the process. Preorder "This Is For The Lover In You" on Amazon today.

Monday, September 12, 2016

As Quickly As We Say Her Name, Some Man Expresses His Misogynistic Ways

Say her name; Tiarah Poyau. She was a 22 year old St. John's University student just out for a night of fun at the J'Ouvert festival. Her life ended because she didn't want 20 year old Regenald Moise dancing on her. For almost a week social media has been saying her name and discussing the fragile-ness of the male ego. However, some people missed it. Some black men missed that their fucked up egos were discussed and they are happily showing their ignorance still.

I always try not to be connected with misogynistic men, but sometimes it happens. I really think some of them don't realize they are being misogynists until they are called out. Once they're called out they claim it was just a joke and they don't mean it. This man didn't even act as if the meme was a joke. He just acted confused when I mentioned Tiarah Poyau, who died in the same city he lives in.

This is what his meme said:
"I hate when women get drunk and then don't want to have sex."

Only women commented on his post. Most of them thought it was funny. One woman, other than me, was offended. It been a good hour since I saw his post and AI also removed him from my friends list. He was some random man whose request I accepted but never spoke to me. He didn't really matter, but his attitude toward women matters. Men like him matter because either we women get mad, we laugh it off, or we stay silent. Laughing it off just encourages them to keep being misogynistic and staying silent also encourages them. Getting mad just encourages them to focus on the women who will laugh it off or stay silent.

That sounds like we women are screwed, doesn't it? I don't know what to do anymore. All I can do at this point is pray that I never get put in any bad situations. I have to hope that I never get raped because some man was mad I said no. I have to hope I don't get put in a situation where a man has a weapon. I have to hope that I'm never in a situation where I have to silence myself because a man is mad I said the word no and he keeps pushing the issue. Wait, I have been in that last situation too many times to count, but you get the point.

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Should Bloggers Separate Their Blogs From Their Personal Social Media Pages?

Recently a blogger shared her frustration about not getting a lot of attention on her Facebook blog page. She said the likes and comments were basically non-existent and she didn't know what to do to get the attention of her followers. My suggestion to her was to use her personal page for more views.

The way Facebook works right now you can get more attention through the personal page because it's seen as more personal. If you use your blog page, you need to pay to get more views and pray people actually click the like button and comment when you spend your money. That is unless you're Tyrese or Trina. If you're a celebrity then the views will pour in naturally. However, we blogger need to come up with 10 different ways to get people to pay attention to us. Why not use our personal pages for help?

She was against the idea. Her reason is that she doesn't want to spam the people on her personal page.   It doesn't make sense. If you've been on Facebook since before 2010 your personal page should mostly consistent of family, friends, and associates. Your family is the people who helped shaped you into who you are today. Family members gave you rules growing up, taught you how to use the freedom you had, and made sure to motivate you when you need it. Your friends are the people you grew up with, or just met and made an unbreakable bond. Your associates on your page are people who have stuck around over the years because they've genuinely found you interesting. So why hesitate to share your blog site with them?

Just think about the way we react to celebrities. We don't just want to know when Beyonce is releasing her next album. One of our biggest motivations toward Lemonade was what was going on in Beyonce and Jay-Z's personal life. People harassed Rachel Roy for supposedly being Becky with the good hair. Even without focusing on the drama behind the music, we've cared about Blue Ivy and Solange fighting Jay-Z in an elevator. If we didn't know about these personal aspects of her life, would we really pay attention to her music as much?

And then there's a celebrity like Ciara.There have been so many times where Ciara was big in the public eye, started to fade, and then something in her personal life kept our attention. Maybe it was her and 50 Cent dating, or her and Bow Wow being a couple. It could have also been her and Future getting together, her getting pregnant, them rushing to get engaged, and then him cheating on her before the baby was born. It could also be the public arguments between that two that's been going on ever since Ciara and Russell Wilson because a couple.

The best example might be Kim Kardashian and her sisters. They've built a career on letting us in on their personal lives. If they decided tomorrow to only reveal what they were doing professional, their careers would die.

These are celebrities who can't hide their personal business when promoting their professional lives. Yet, we bloggers hesitate to share our public blog posts on our private pages with people who have known us for a while. We need to change our attitudes and start getting those views from the people who know us better than the strangers whose attention we are trying to get.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Crush On You (Poem)

Sometimes I write sappy love stuff. Actually recently I decided to put together a chapbook of sappy love poems. I might officially publish the book and add it to my collection of books next month. I won't put it up for sale. Instead I'll slowly leak poems from it onto this lovely blog. The following is one of the poems.

I'm trying to go in a different direction with my writing. Instead of writing about infidelity (it was fun writing about something opposite my personality), I'm focusing on love.

Crush On You 

I wanna crush on you right now
Dream of being near your sexy body
Imagine being in your arms
We’re cuddling to the sweet sounds of our breathing
I wanna dream of what you and me would be like
The perfect couple
Or the annoying couple that argues too much
The couple that’s together because they’re afraid of being alone
Or two people who fall out of love as quickly as we got into it
I wanna wait for you to take me out
And say yes to whatever place you choose
I’m interested in your plans
Both career and how romantic you can get
I wanna love you right now
Whatever that is
Love is a different experience for everyone
And I wanna find out what’s it’s like for you

The Ex Addiction?

I'm officially back; kinda, sorta. I'm rusty. Give me a couple of blog posts to officially sound like a good rambler again.

While scrolling through Instagram I stumbled across this article called Is There Such A Thing As An Ex Addiction.

The writer starts it off by talking about how one of his male friends has an ex-girlfriend that he just can't be around, because the site of her reignites the passion he used to feel. He can't go down that road again with her because he's in a relationship with a new woman. The writer then talks about his own experience and how he didn't understand when an ex-girlfriend he still felt cool with started ignoring him. He didn't understand that she still had an attachment to their former relationship that needed to be broken.

I'll admit I have my experience. He's not necessarily an ex. He's just someone I got sexually involved with. I thought he would be like other men; okay sex but opposite enough from me that I wouldn't care when he was gone. That has been my pattern with men. I've only had one male friend that I didn't have to have sex with him to remain friends. For some men if they weren't attracted to me or I said no, they didn't stick around long enough to actually get to know me.

For some reason I was okay with the idea of having sex with this particular guy, even though I knew he was a fuck nigga. Maybe it was because he was a familiar face from my past. He was also like a breath of fresh air. He was fun to talk to compared to my experiences with others since I'd moved back to Houston. Plus he wasn't as crazy as the previous guy that I had gotten involved with.

But whatever the case was I was willing to have casual sex with him. We did it and then went months without seeing or talking to each other gain. I could go in detail about that, but those months don't matter. When I eventually saw him again, something weird happened. I missed him and the sex was better. I wanted more from him, but then how do you ask for more from someone you know you shouldn't be dealing with in the first place?

I decided to really discipline myself. The only way to do it was to stop calling him. It has kind of worked. I can go without speaking to him. The hard part is ignoring his phone calls and saying no when he asks to see me.