Tuesday, September 30, 2014

#Blogtober14 31 Days of Blogging

Bloggers @heleneinbetween and @thedailytay are having an October blogging challenge. Since this is my birthday month and my birthday happens to fall at the very end, well the day before Halloween,  I've decided to use this challenge as a countdown to turning 28. If you have the spirit of keeping your blog updated join in.

Listen To Lil Kim's Hardcore Mixtape

"Call me Betty Crocker. My icing is a topper." Listen to Lil Kim's Hardcore mixtape below.

Monday, September 29, 2014

When He Asks You To Write About Him...

I've read quite a few blogs where people get very detailed about their significant others. While many know some of these writers, most have no idea who their significant others are, so they dive in whole-heartedly to tell a story about some unknown person.

They are open, honest, but still leave out some details for their personal lives. We don't really get sex stories unless we are reading a sex positive blog. Usually we get the details of something that just casually happened. For example Jozen C, Until I Get Married, tells safe stories of his moments with his girlfriend. He knows how to catch our interests, keep his stories girlfriend approved, and still not bore us. 

Then there are the many family oriented blogs I happen to stumble upon. Some women post pictures of their husbands to go along with whatever they are talking about. Some women throw their husbands in the mix when talking about their children. However, very few really go into the details of their intimate lives with their spouses. I once read a blog where a woman went into a whole lot of details about the men she was with. While her identity was hidden, she made it clear that she was a single black woman in Atlanta having a terrific sex life. She talked about relationships, cheating, helping men cheat on their spouses, avoiding love, being the side piece but falling in love, and then finally meeting the man of her dreams. I don't remember what her blog was called, but she ended the blog when she finally got married. 

However, as a single black woman in Houston, I often wonder how to tackle writing about men. Most of the men I encounter claim they don't want relationships and are brave enough to make their intentions clear. A man saying he only wants sex is nothing to brag about, right? Some men will fuck anything that is moving and sometimes things that aren't moving. Some don't even do anything worthy of bragging to friends about. I usually tell my friends because they are either going to be shocked into laughter or they are going to be like, "What is wrong with these men?" 

What happened with this particular guy is I told a friend about him and she was shocked into laughter. She actually said that I should have sent her a warning text before calling her. However, before I told her about him, he had already told me to blog about him. He didn't give a particular topic to talk about or a certain way to portray him. I thought hard about it, but couldn't figure out what I wanted to reveal. I'll just hold onto thoughts of him a little longer before telling you all anything. 

However, how do you tackle talking about someone you are having casual sex with, dating, or even married to? 

Kim Kardashian and North West Wear Matching Givenchy Outfits

Well Kim K. and baby North West sort of matched in their Givenchy outfits over the weekend for Paris Fashion Week. While Kim wore lingerie, North had on a shirt that was sheer in some areas. A lot of people are judging, but I think it's cute. However, don't try this look on you and your daughter at home.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Run Away (Poem)

"If you decide to stay, know that there is no escape. There's no one here to save you."-- Brave by  Jhene Aiko 

So I dive in, deeper and deeper, following the sounds of his promises, one date, two; he’s says he’ll do whatever I say…
And then I wait… 
While trying to get lost in the whispers of his lust, where every time it’s just us, and the pleasure is a must, as we add to our memories, the plan is to just let go, move with the flow, while trying to hold onto as much of me as possible…
I’m fading…
Trying not to think of the what-ifs and the buts…We’re just friends that barely know if we’re really meant for each other, whether a one night stand or something a little longer....
Yet through conversations and expectations we’re creating an intimate bond that’s going to be hard to break.
What he doesn’t know is this is just a game and eventually I’ll run away. 

Black-ish, A Show That Could Grow On Us

Forget The Cosby Show and forget about Traci Ellis Ross finally having a television husband in Reed Between The Lines. While Anthony Anderson is the total opposite of Malcolm Jamaal Warner, he brings ABC's new television show Black-ish to life.

Actually the pilot episode was all about Anthony Anderson learning how to handle being Black in corporate America. We were able to see his character Andre as a husband, father, and senior vice president of the urban division. As Dre (is nickname) received his promotion to senior vice president of the urban division, he had to battle what it means to be urban.

Every black person knows urban means black. This also means the first episode of Black-ish had to include several different types of black stereotypes, children clueless about history, and a man living in the suburbs trying to figure out how to get back to whatever his roots are supposed to be in order to run a successful campaign directed towards blacks.

You might be wonder where Traci Ellis Ross fits in. She's the wife named Rainbow, who also happens to be a doctor. In this first episode we see her as the level-headed one in the family trying to balance off her husband's crazy ideas. We hear Rainbow talk about working, but there are no scenes of her outside of the house.

The kids and grandfather also have voices on the show, which is different from the norm. Usually these types of shows leave the children voiceless, which eventually bores those of us watching. While the kids seemed to not really care about racial issues, the grandfather played Laurence Fishburne was very opinionated on how everyone in the family was operating.

There is a lot going on and it is all based on being Black-ish. So far I like it, but we'll have to give this show a couple more episodes before deciding how good it really is.

Why We Need To Work Together (Failed Attempt At Campaigning)

We all talk about wanting to better the world and we all preach about wanting to see each others succeed. Well, clearly there is too much preaching going on and not enough helping. A while ago someone added me to a group called Taking Back Florida. I had already moved back to Texas at the time, but decided to stay in it and be nosy. Recently the nosiness finally paid off in the form of a failed run for Governor of Florida. 

Everyone wants to see a change in the state and Kyle Gibson is no exception. In fact, he's so passionate about making the state better he decided to put himself in the race to become the next governor. After all, a lot of people want to see Rick Scott go. However, in a message he placed in the Taking Back Florida Group it was clear that he was nowhere near ready to run for governor. In fact, whether he had a team or friends helping him out came into question. I'm not talking about the regular cheerleading squad. Read his message below. 

"Greetings to all of you, many times in life the things we want so dear come with many trial and tribulations. During this campaign, I have had a few set backs in my journey to serve as your next Governor. One major set back was the death of my baby brother in February of this year. The second was the failure to obtain the required number of signatures to get on the ballot and avoid the filing fee. A few week ago one more set back occurred that has ended my 2014 campaign to serve as your next Governor of Florida. The person named to served as my Lt. Governor had a legal matter to come up which kept them from being able file the required paper work to run. This matter occurred at the deadline of the required filing. As a result, that ended my 2014 run. However when i decided to run, I made a personal 8 year commitment to seek this office and in a few weeks, I will turn in my paper work to seek the Office of Governor in 2018. Please keep the family of the one that was to run as my running mate in prayer during this there time of need. I want to thank each of you that contributed, sign a petition, prayed and made a call on behalf of my campaign. I will take a few weeks to take a breather and resume my run in October or November of this year. This is only a minor set back. the journey will continue, please look forward to seeing me in your area in the near future as we press on toward 2018."

Clearly he needed help and clearly there weren't enough people helping him. Look, lets stop talking about what we need to be doing and do it. Someone should have been a backup Lieutenant Governor for this man. Someone should have been making sure all his paperwork was turned in on time. I'll give him a pass on the grieving part, but clearly there were not enough people in support of him. Gibson's run actually ended before it even started, but he's going to try again in a couple years. If you know him or want to help him, then get to helping. 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Whole Damn Year by Mary J. Blige

Sometimes when you've been going through the motions with a  terrible man, or terrible men, it takes a while to adjust back to who you were before. It takes a minute to get back to happiness and to accept a good man in your life. I don't really want to go down memory lane, but Mary J. Blige is reminding me and many others why it takes us a while to start trusting the next man that comes along in her new song Whole Damn Year.

In Whole Damn Year Mary J. is singing about how she still has trouble letting the special man in her life hold her the way he wants her to because of her past. She sings about having a bad year and needing at least a year to get her trust issues in order.

"See, Winter took most of my heart, and Spring punched me right in the stomach, Summer came looking for blood, and by Autumn I was left with nothing." Listen to Whole Damn Year below.

This is part of The London Sessions album dropping soon. 

Monday, September 22, 2014

The Assault- A Lifetime Original Movie Or Ripped From The Headlines?

#JadaPose, #IAmJada, and #IStandForJada were trending hashtags over the summer after some stupid boys re-uploaded a rape photo of a 16 year old name Jada.

The story goes that she went to a male who she thought was a friend, but then ended up being drugged and raped while unconscious. She didn't remember what happened until the photo surfaced. The boy who did it thought it was funny and surprisingly had supporters.

The rape had happened months before, but after Jada had started making more noise trying to stand up for herself the boy decided to sexually harass her all over again. The second time #JadaPose became a trending topic. For days a large amount of males laughed at her and imitated her unconscious body laying on the floor. The few people who tried to fight for her was shut down with disgusting remarks from the dumb males. Finally her story started to get major attention and the amount of people in favor of her started to outnumber the idiots who were laughing at her pain. While Jada's fight isn't over, her voice has once again been overshadowed by attempts of a corporation trying to making a few bucks.

The Assault is a Lifetime movie with moments so sensationalized you just can't help but keep watching. There is the stereotypical tough black female cop just lucky enough to get a potential rape case dropped in her lap. The cop was raped when she was a teen, so rape cases are like a revenge for her. There is also the black coach for the football team who goes hard for his job, his players, and is an activist in helping them stay focused toward their goals. He just wants to pretend what happened away. The rest of the faces in the movie, except maybe one football player, are all white.

The basics of the movie is a cheerleader is partying with other cheerleaders and football players. The girls that are supposed to be her friends act irresponsibly and leave her alone with the football players. She gets so drunk that a group of players decide it would be a good idea to have their way with her. They rape her, record it, and have photos too.

After realizing something is wrong, this 17 year old girl goes on a mission to prove she was raped and get the people responsible punished. The problem is she doesn't remember what happened and the players tell a whole bunch of lies to cover it up. However, she's a white girl so her story will get out there and people will pay attention. The pictures that prove something happened are initially taken down from the internet, but she adds them back up to make a statement. She uses some cheesy hashtag like #Cheerleader. It works.

The juicy part is when the video is discovered. The police officer lets her see it while her father is sitting there. The boys are charged, but while the investigation is still going on the school shows they give no damns about rape accusations and lets the players do what they do best. While a game is going on, the warrior rape victim walks onto the field with audio blasting throughout the whole station of the rape going on. That shut the game down and somehow gave her justice.

However, the worse part of this movie was that there was no mention of where it came from. There was no "Based On A True Story." There was just a message that this happens to teens all the time and to visit Lifetime's website. It makes me wonder if a network tried to make a rape victim's story irrelevant on purpose or if they just thought it would be cool to make a very wildly entertaining story about some high schooler being raped and essentially embarrassed by her classmates.

We Should All Leak Our Own Nudes

We should just place our own nudes on the internet. 

Via Twitter, I edited it.  

We've all been told the rules behind taking provocative photos. Some are to not show your face, to be as covered up as possible while still appearing sexy, and to not take them at all. Some women take the easiest advice and don't even risk sending these types of pictures. No one wants to wake up knowing a picture of their naked body or body part is floating around the web, but for us women that like to live on the wild side with photography the fact that our naked pictures could one day be floating around the web without permission is becoming a reality. However, for now the people doing the leaking don't care about us regular 9 to 5 working women. They are trying to see the beautiful bare skin of celebrities. 

Lately several celebrity women have had their iClouds or whatever they are storing pictures on hacked. This has ended up with numerous nudes floating around the web. Meagan Goode became a victim of the hacking over the weekend. Pictures and video footage of her talking to her husband was leaked. Being married to a pastor, people speak more heavily when she does things now. It really doesn't matter though. She can do whatever she wants. She's a beautiful woman with a loving husband. 

The problem is someone feels like they have the rights to any woman's naked body of they're choosing. Just about every week we see another women whose naked photos are floating up and down the twitter line, on Facebook, and even Instagram. People feel entitled to these photos too. 

I say we stop letting the hackers win and just leak our own photos. We create a sea of nudity on every social media site. Whatever body part is our favorite take plenty of photos and just feed them to the vultures before they try to steal them. Seriously though, these hackers need to find a new hobby. As a woman I wouldn't want my breasts and ass all out for everyone to see, so I have no respect for the people that are exposing all of these women.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Why I Need Your Help

Searching For My Star, Where Reality & Fantasy Get Confused
Thanks for being here. Thanks for continually visiting even when you don't like the content. Thanks for liking the content. Thanks for not spamming Searching For My Star with comments coming from Blue Ivy's Hair, Jay William's 18th Baby Mama, Ray Rice's Side Chick, or Getyourlife. Then again, thanks for the inboxes and sometimes twitter interactions so I know that you are there and are paying attention. I appreciate it all.

If a picture speaks 1,000 words then a blog has to speak at least a million. Over the past five years I've continually wrote, researched and struggled with how to bring in new viewers. It's not about the money when it comes to writing. It's all about my passion to keep it going. In fact it started out as a way to make an outlet for myself that a journalism professor said I didn't have. Some journalism professors say when you graduate you're no longer a journalist until you're hired as one. I wasn't hired as one, but I discovered I didn't need to be hired in order to have the title of being a Blogger.

That is why you all have been so much more important to me than you'll ever know. Whether you've expressed where improvement was needed or just let me know that you were here for me, it has been helpful in my growth. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I'm so much farther than I used to be. For instance, I was too afraid to do the following years ago and even a year ago.

Recently I took a huge leap with my blog. I nominated it for a Black Weblog Award; Best Entertainment Blog to be exact. Nominations opened up Monday night and the bravery came out of nowhere. Now I need your help. If you like what you read and you have a few dollars to spare, please nominate me for Best Entertainment Blog. Thank you in advance and I promise to only get better.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Awkward by Eric Bellinger And the Choose Up Season Mixtape

Choose Up, that extra special time of year for the lonely single people is coming around again. 

People around the world needing affection are readily preparing to meet someone they are sexually attracted to, make them a significant other, and put a timeline on that relationship. While many people refer to this time of the year as Cuffing Season, in recent times people have created different phases for it. The first part, which tends to happen before the temperature starts heavily dropping, is the choose up. This means single people start reviewing their options for who they can spend the next couple of months pretending to date. 

In fact, Choose Up Season is the name of Eric Bellinger's upcoming mixtape tape. The mixtape tape will have nine songs that are written to tell a full story about the single life and will be available October 1st. In order to prepare us for the mixtape, we've been given the first official single called Awkward

Awkward is appropriately about the ex that doesn't seem to get the message. How many of you are getting that "hey stranger" text right now? How many of your exes know your family? Listen to Awkward below and watch the trailer for Choose Up Season

Video By Singersroom.com

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

YEAH RIGHT! Adrian Peterson Says He Never Meant To Hurt His Son

Football has been a huge topic lately, but not because of what is happening on the field. It's all about what is happening in the players households. Adrian Peterson happens to be the person in the spotlight at the moment and unfortunately he has been accused of child abuse. 

Recently pictures were released showing huge red marks that Adrian left on his son after hitting him with a switch. The details of the case are that he hit his four year old with the switch and stuff leaves in his mouth while doing it. Clearly whatever the child did really pissed him off and he lost control. Now there are a lot of people battling with the difference between child abuse and regular physical discipline. 

Adrian Peterson is one of those people that has recently found out his definition of discipline is abuse. Since this case has been discussed so much, he felt compelled to release a statement to the public. In the statement we can tell he has learned his lesson, but there was one problem I had. It was the following statement. 

"I have to live with the fact that when I disciplined my son the way I was disciplined as a child, I caused an injury that I never intended or thought would happen." 

The lie detector indicates that is a lie. Everyone who has been hit with a switch, belt, extension cord, or even shoe knows it hurt like hell. The madder a parent is the harder they swing whatever they are holding at your bare skin. The intention of hitting a child with any of these items is for them to feel pain. 

"Stop crying or I'm going to give you something to cry about." While being hit every child has heard this statement. I have and it hurt even more to hear it, because I couldn't just stop crying while I was still feeling the pain. If Adrian Peterson did get disciplined the way he does his children, then he already knows the pain. He knew it would hurt his child. That is why he told used that switch. 

His statement says he has learned his lesson. I hope many other parents also learn from this too. Stop torturing your kids physically if you want them to respect you. Even if Adrian has learned his lesson, his four year old is afraid of him. He'll have to build the trust back up if he ever wants a relationship with that child. Children aren't the only ones who break their parents trust. It is also the opposite way. This is an incident everyone can learn from. 

Monday, September 15, 2014

#LHHH Why I Quit Reality Television #SisterhoodOfHipHop

Via straightfromtheA.com
Every once in a while some man's ego gets real big. Usually it is the pretty boys that spend more time in the mirror than us women. They get manicures and pedicures regularly, keep their clothes looking fresher than sheets hanging from a clothing line. You know those men that are all about their appearance. They get so carried away, they think they're entitled to each and every woman. The entitlement is so bad that they get caught cheating. Well, the following man does not fit the description, but he's a player, and this makes me want to quit watching reality television.

While Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is over, Mona Scott Young is not leaving us bored for a couple of months. Love and Hip Hop Hollywood has started and it is giving the other city some competition with the chosen celebrities. For instance, there is Soulja Boy. The last time many of us remember Soulja Boy, he was crying at the BET Awards in 2012. His tears weren't the most noticeable thing about him though. It was his dirty finger nails. This once-popular rapper was repulsive. However, that didn't stop him from dating.

For a while Soulja Boy and Diamond (of Crime Mobb) were a happy couple. However, last April the two broke up. Diamond is currently on Oxygen's reality television show Sisterhood of Hip Hop and we all know this was taped long before last April. It means they were still dating during the taping.

Now since Love and Hip Hop Hollywood has started, Soulja Boy is now a reality star and he's not alone on the show. He has a girlfriend who claims they've been dating on and off for a long time. Actually, she's the daughter of the oh-so-suave singer Teddy Riley. Her name is Nia Riley and she claims they've been dating for eight long years. She is claiming him hard, but there is a problem.

This would mean he is a pimp of some sorts. Either he is a pimp or both Diamond and this Nia girl have made very dumb relationship choices. I'm not going to quit reality television for real, but this is overwhelming.

#FixMyLife Camille Daniels Gives Her Thoughts On The Man With 34 Children

Iyanla  Vanzant's new season of Fix My Life makes you question who you let inside your vagina even harder. I know it's not just me. The season has started off with a man, Jay Williams, with 17 baby mamas. Since there is enough material to blog about this man for the rest of the year, I decided to give others the spotlight to express their opinions. 

The first episode addressed Jay's upbringing. It revealed what kind of parents he had and how they could have possibly led him to create his current disastrous life. While abuse was thrown around a lot, Jay said he loved every woman that he created a child with. A writer and former classmate, Reginald Alceus, agreed to answer several questions pertaining to decisions he would make in finding love and how a man could possibly love 17 women. His explanation is pretty good.

For part two, which featured some of the mothers of Jay's children and a couple of the children, an aspiring journalist by the name of Camille Daniels agreed to answer some questions. The following are her opinions. 

If a man charmed you so much that you gave him a kid and then found out he was lying to you about being with other women, what kind of words would he say to you for you to keep giving him kids?

Well, I don’t want children and I fear the day I ever get pregnant. However, if I did get pregnant and decided to raise my child I would accept my responsibility. There’s nothing a man could say that I could let myself do that again. Children don’t ask to be here so why I wouldn’t allow myself to be ok with bringing more children into the world with him? I already have one connection. Why expand that connection? He isn’t worthy of that connection. He’s proven that.

Let’s say you meet a man and he has kids. How many kids are too many kids for you to start dating him?

I think the max would be three. Since I know a real man will always choose his kids over the girl anyway because that’s what a good father does, anything over 0 is too high for me lol. But yeah, anything after 3 feels like a lot. Technically over 5 actually.

Jay Williams reached out to Iyanla Vanzant to help him fix his life of having 17 baby mamas, 34 biological kids, and 9 adopted kids. Do you think it is possible to fix a situation like that?

It can only be successful if the people involved are really ready to do the work and go to the heart of the pain, and also to continue to do the work after the time with Ms. Vanzant has gone. She can’t save you. She can only help you. You have to help yourself to heal.

One of the 17 baby mamas said every woman man-shares. Do you know of women sharing men? Have you ever shared a man with another woman?

Technically we all do man share. What was once yours is now someone else’s or vice versa. Basically when you date and break up or even marry and break up there’s a lot of sharing going on; especially, sexually. But I wouldn’t voluntarily share someone if I had the choice. But as long as you remember your experience with that person is different than what was had in the past with someone else then you should be okay.

Iyanla told the women that they were judging each other and not giving Jay any credit for the mess he created. Do you think as women we tend to attack each other instead of the men causing our problems? Why?

Yes, because it’s natural. I think amongst women especially, there’s like this unofficial girl code, so when someone violates it, especially an actual friend you know, it hurts. We know men are stupid. We just expect the women to do better.

 Some of the children agreed to meet with Jay on camera. Could you be brave enough to reveal to the world that your father is a man who has been so irresponsible with his life?

No, I don’t think I could, unless I believed it would help someone else. Otherwise I think it’s best to dealt with in private cause that’s where the real work is waiting to be done.

One of the moms  admitted her son has never known who his father is. Would you want to know if Jay was your father?

I think so. At the end of the day, that man is part of who you are, so yes. If I know I can still naturally love you because you’re my parent and I respect you as a person, then yes I want to know you for many reasons, for life lessons, medical and etc.

All of Jay’s older kids that were on the show agreed that it is disgusting being the child of a man with 34 children. Knowing that an overwhelming majority of the men of your generation have a high sex count list, do you find it disgusting? What do you think of Jay Williams?

If you have a high sex count, you have a high sex count. That to me is not the problem as long as you use protection and get tested often. The problem is that you find it ok to have the amount of children that can be found in a New York City public school classroom. He either needs to become a Mormon and become a polygamist or he needs to get a vasectomy, or do both because that’s not right and it’s not healthy. He’s clearly hurting and so are the mothers and all the children. And it’s just sad. This is an example of what it means to be hurt and how you pass it on and attract others who are also clearly hurt.

There is still one more episode left with Jay. The best thing for Iyanla and the others to do is say it was all a prank, like Ashton Kutcher would do. They should all confess to being actors. However, this is real life and one thing the preview reveals is this situation cannot be fixed unless a time machine is invented.