Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Lance Gross Photographs Teyana Taylor

Lance Gross is not only a hot actor. In his spare time he's a photographer too and recently he put his photography skills to use with Teyana Taylor as the model.

In the picture Teyana Taylor does the infamous Janet Jackson Rolling Stone cover pose where she's topless with hands over her breasts. Now unlike Janet, Teyana needs a support system for those big things on her. Other than that, the picture is clearly hot.

If I worked in entertainment and not the corporate world I'd be the next person to re-create this photo. Can you see it? Then again maybe one day I'll do it anyway. It's on the list of pictures to take before I turn 30.

Beyonce Holds Up The Roc Sign

Not only does Beyonce throw up the Roc, but she stays repping her husband Jay-Z in other ways. Just look at that shirt. Maybe one day when I get married I'll have a shirt made with my husband's name on it.

Monday, July 30, 2012

A Twitter Bully Came For Oprah

Twitter bullies are real. Only you can't see them until they send some crazy out-of-line comment to you. Usually they reserve their bully stance for someone the world has never heard of it. Sometimes they wait for a widely known star to say something they disapprove of before their fast (and messy) mean typed words kick in. Then there are those times where a person whose done a lot for the community gets hit up by a twitter bully. This latest victim just has to be Oprah. Well, actually I wouldn't call Oprah a victim.

This guy just came out of nowhere and asked Oprah what has she done for the ghetto. He really for some reason felt like Oprah has done absolutely nothing for his hood. Maybe she hasn't. No matter how rich she is, she can't save everyone. However, Oprah has put in lots of effort to save people in the ghetto and she let this twitter bully know what's up. The picture to the right is their conversation.

I'm just shocked this man would come for Oprah, but I'm proud of her response. While it was slick, it was also still very respectful to his feelings. No, I'm lying. That guy definitely should have felt either embarrassed or just stupid.

Jealous Of Jada Pinkett-Smith And Her Bikini Body

I've heard rumors of people feeling and looking better as they get older. Jada Pinkett-Smith is definitely one of the people turning that rumor into the truth. Recently she sent out a tweet along with the above photo stating that we as women get better with age. Read the quote below.

To my Forty and over crew! Don't believe the hype...we DO get better with age! 

Does my body look that good at 25? Jada can work out five days a week while my time is devoted to working, partying, and writing. But for real do I look that good? I'm jealous of her and she's old compared to me. The only way to know is to slide on a bathing suit, go swimming, and walk out of the water with that exact same pose.

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Some Of It Is Based On Fact, Sunday Reflections

Some, well probably most of the poetry and short fiction I write, is based on fact.

People have been asking about this for years. Well, this is the truth. While I haven't done it to the extent of my creative mind, some of it is true. I've been hurt, torn down by people who supposedly knew me, and brought the my sexual peak. Then again, maybe I haven't hit that sexual peak yet, but there have been some good times. Then there have been some bad times where it felt like no one was on my side. Whether in poetry or short fiction I've managed to lay most of the emotions from my experiences for everyone to see. Yes, most of it is about my experiences and some of it is based on what I'd like to happen. This is why I continue to live.

Going to work and coming home is not living. That's called going through the motions of responsibility. That also means I pay bills, eat, and sleep. It's what others expect and what is needed to have a functioning life. It is not living. Living is hanging out with friends, going to parties, clubs, restaurants, or whatever else makes me happy. Living is getting up in the spur of a moment and deciding to have some fun. That fun could be just going to the movies.

After getting over the sadness of being back in Houston I decided it was time to start living. It was baby steps, but every step created a new memory. Every step has given me new ideas to write about. For instance recently I went to the club for a friend's birthday party. In the midst of dancing with a guy my friend said "There's no fucking tonight." I'm not sure if she was joking or not, but the idea of sexing a stranger in the club led to my very short story Giving Him Every Fuck I Can Feel.

Then there was last night when I ventured out to a club by myself. This was one I've never been to before, but it was still feel with lots of black people. Whether there's black people, there are memorable moments. I'm not going to tell you about last night, but maybe later down the road a hint of the experience will leak out into my fiction or poetry.

I'm living and writing. Life can only get better, right?

Friday, July 27, 2012

Just When My Life Gets Boring...

I really do feel like the awkward black girl.

Awkward black girls are those that have to function in life, but do everything possible to blend right in. However, their blending in always backfires and gets them more attention. That's what I do. I try desperately to blend in. Okay, maybe the red hair makes me stand out a little. Then being short gets me noticed a little more, which is weird. I thought the tall people were the ones that stood out. Then being persistent in my goals that only two people close to me probably care about makes me look crazy. Okay, I'm awkward and it shows. 

It shows way too much. For instance yesterday I wanted to have a nice normal day where I woke up, dived into my interests, went to work, did what I was supposed to, and then at the end of the day clocked out and went to sleep. It didn't go that way though. Well, some of it did. The part that backfired was getting to work and starting out the day right. 

It started out normal. I arrived at work ten minutes early and started putting my purse and other things in the trunk. I don't take that into work because at one point I forgot the combination to my locker and it was the end of that. So I put the things in my trunk with plans to hop back in the front seat, but this is when things get messed up. Just as I get back to to the front of the car, the door closes.

Oh No! Well, that's what came to my mind right away after I pulled the handle and the door would not open. I didn't remember locking it. Why would I lock it if I was getting back in? Why would I leave the keys in the ignition. The car was definitely still running. So I panic and then run into the work building. 

It's amazing how many people know how to break into locked cars. 

It took about 15 minutes, two people, a couple scratches around the car door, and my small arms to reach over the window and unlock the door. It finally opened and the boredom was soon back to normal. 

I want excitement in my life, but not the kind where I lock my keys in a running car anymore. 

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Short Story, Giving Him Every Fuck I Can Feel

I'm single, vulnerable, and my imagination has been running wild with ideas lately. So after writing a post about giving everyone every fuck that my mind, body, and soul contains I decided to narrow it down into several stories. The following story describes why I'd be led to have sex with a total stranger in a club and how it would play out.

Giving Him Every Fuck I Can Feel
I’m giving him every fuck I can feel. In the middle of the night in the midst of a packed club as our eyes meet all I can think about is being satisfied. It’s been a while. 

From the first crush which was also the first man that said “Not interested” I started building a wall. His rejection hurt me in a way that I could never describe. Not to my mom, not to the dad, and never to friends. I let the tears fall, but made sure only I could see them. So I sucked the pain up and learned to hold it within. 

I wanted to believe in love, but knew hurt came with it too. So I tried to pursue it while also protecting my feelings. I wanted passion but also wanted to give 0 fucks.

So after the guy fucked me and said he wasn't looking for a commitment I said “Fuck it.” 

Then a guy eased his way into my life through a class one of us was required to take, college love. To the outside world he was a good Christian man climbing the ladder of success and looking for a good future wife. Behind closed doors he had the perfect sexual chemistry. But throughout the time whenever our bond would start to get strong he would up and disappear, but to protect my feelings all I could do was say “fuck it.” 

With every guy that came into my life, made a trail of pain, and then left I convinced myself that I didn't give a fuck until one day I was left alone and lonely and craving the affection not giving a fuck had denied me. 

So during this night in the middle of the club as he stared at me with those sexy brown eyes and pressed his body against me so I could feel his hardness I decided to give him every fuck I could feel. 

We found a dark corner in the club, somewhere hidden by the crowd. As he picked me up my skirt lifted up, my legs wrapped around his waist, his pants sagging, my heart unprotected, and his penis unprotected, he fucked me and I responded with every emotion I had. 

Stay tuned for the next story about giving lots of fucks. 

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Rasheeda Marry Me Video Plus Toya's Verse

When you listen to Rasheeda's music you think of an underground artist who knows exactly what she's doing. After all, Rasheeda has been in the music industry for a while promoting herself. She's also done it independently. Plus she knows how to get a group of women together on a track without a fight. Remember that infamous "Bedrock" remix from 2010? That song had so many women on it I lost count. Anyway, listening to Rasheeda's music makes you think of her as a powerhouse, but last night on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta her powerhouse seemed to be falling apart. 

It started with a video premiere her husband put together for a song called "Marry Me." However, when Rasheeda arrived she realized just how disorganized everything was. Her husband, who was in charge of putting the event together and inviting folks, only managed to get at the most of 20 people to show up. Then there were technical difficulties. The screen behind her was not working to show the video. Instead it was being broadcast on the other side of the room, but Rasheeda's husband failed to tell her before she started speaking. It looked bad. Real bad. 

However, while their private showing of the music video did not meet high expectations, "Marry Me" is on the internet for your entertainment. There is also a version of the song with Toya Carter Wright on it. Watch the video below and listen to Toya's version too. 

Monday, July 23, 2012

A Place Of My Own, Goal Almost Accomplished

A while ago I started telling you all about my goal of moving somewhere by myself. Unfortunately that move is not about to be California right away. My real long term goals for life are still deferred. Instead I've chosen to try to settle in this place I've been in far too long already. So over the past couple of months I've been apartment hunting and a week ago a cute little spot showed it's face. I've found what could be the very first place of my own.

I'm not going to reveal the name of the apartment complex to you yet. However, it is located in a relatively busy spot. It's nice and it lights my heart up. For real, I'm so happy to have seen it. There are a few problems though.

One problem is stability. Am I stable enough to successfully move into this place with no worries? Over the years I've always dreamed of exactly what I wanted. Making sure I had enough money was never an issue. At 25 years old it is becoming an issue. This is mostly because we live in an economy where a super rich white man who has never struggled in his entire life is running for president. Because he's never struggled he doesn't give a damn about people like me. People like me are the people struggling to keep hope alive, but can never figure out how to move one step forward without getting knocked a step back.

My list of problems with this place could go on forever. Most people won't admit this, but I'm scared. What if something goes wrong? I'm alone in this world. I searched for this place alone. No one has volunteered to look at this place before I move into it. I put out an invitation for someone to  look with me and that person agreed. However, they'll never set out a time to actually see it. It is not important to them. When I pay the down deposit and sign the lease my name will be listed alone on the contract. This is all a lot to think about.

Negativity aside I've had a goal of living on my own for the longest. During my college years I vowed to never ever have a roommate again once I left. I'm keeping that vow until I get married. Once I sign that lease the goal will finally be accomplished.

This journey of getting where I want seems to be never ending.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Giving You Every Fuck I Can Feel, Sunday Reflections Post

"I'm living in a world of ghetto life. Everyone seems so uptight."

There's this old song by En Vogue called "Giving Him Something He Can Feel." The song expresses a young woman in love with a man, but people saying she's way too young for that. However, she persists to express every damn feeling she has about him. However, she's not expressing her feelings toward this man to shut people up. It's not being done solely for him either. She's giving him something he can feel because it makes her feel good too. It makes her feel great to express her love for this man. Okay, I've listened to just about every classic En Vogue song two million times and this analogy might be wrong, but it's how I will look at the song for the moment.

Now that was the 90's where we prided ourselves on showing every emotion we had. Shoot, just about every song was emotional and sexual too. However, this is 2012 where K. Michelle has a popular mixtape called "0 Fucks Given." K. Michelle is a singer who is trying to secure her spot in the music industry and kill rumors from the past about her attitude and crazy habits. She's also struggling with an ex who thinks he made her just because he paid for some of her body parts (teeth and ass). To top it all off K. Michelle is on a popular and ratchet television show called "Love and Hip Hop Atlanta."

Before the "0 Fucks Given" mixtape dropped K. Michelle released a song called "Shut Up." This was supposed to shut down every negative opinion thrown at her. Upon hearing it I had high respects for her. I thought it took a very brave woman whose career thrives on our opinions to just tell everyone to shut the fuck up. However, I could never do that.
I used to try to shut everyone and everything out. Every success was a huge success. Every failure was written off as unimportant. Every mean comment thrown at me was put in a bottle and stored away in my mind. This way people would think that their words didn't bother me at all. Later on I dealt with the pain, but to the outside world I had no pain. It wasn't just the cruel words people said that hurt. It was also seeing groups of friends ready to tear someone down for saying something insulting about someone in the crew. My little loner self didn't have anyone defending me in that way. That was my fault though. It was all part of the act of pretending not to care.

In the midst of not caring I avoided building bridges. You know that saying "Don't burn bridges because you might need those people one day." I was afraid of the burning of the bridges part. When you upset people (or vice versa) they become real evil. I already had evil comments from people who barely knew me, so I didn't want to get too close to anyone just to feel the hate later on. Therefore I avoided building bridges.

That was long ago though. Now I try to build bridges and keep them up. I don't like the idea of losing really good friends and associates. I also try to do my best at every type of work I touch. Some might call it a perfectionist trait, but I really do care about what you all think. I give a fuck. I give a fuck for every single opinion out there. I take the opinions, try to discuss them, and figure out what I can do better. Whether it be my goals toward making money, pleasing friends, or trying to get a special man's attention I give a fuck.
I referenced En Vogue's song "Giving Him Something He Can Feel." It was about pleasing a man for his happiness and the woman's too. I'm taking the analogy of the song and applying it to caring what every single person thinks. Whatever opinion you have, I care about it. I give a fuck. In fact even though K. Michelle's mixtape is called "0 Fucks Given," after listening to it I came to the conclusion that she gives a fuck too. For her career and sanity's sake she has to.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Teyana Taylor Wears Blue Lipstick

Recently on more than one occasion Teyana Taylor stepped out wearing K'aior cosmetics blue lipstick.
Baby Bleu, $14.99

It looks good on her. I definitely want to try blue lipstick. Blue is my absolutely favorite color for the rest of my life. Plus I've been feeling brave for a while. It started last year when I went natural and cut off all my permed hair. Who really has time for all that transitioning? Then I started experimenting with color in my head. Wait, actually the timing is off. It started long ago when I decided to start wearing blue nail polish. Then loud eye shadow followed. Currently my nails are still blue and my hair is bright red. All that is left to feel this void is the blue lipstick. Well, maybe a man would work too, but the lipstick would be cool.

Kaior Doll, $17.99
I checked K'AOIR Cosmetics online. The Baby Bleu color they have is $14.99 Then there is the K'AOIR Doll, a different shade of blue, and it's $17.99. This stuff is expensive, but I'm going to make it  happen. Teyana Taylor is my role model for making it happen.

Friday, July 20, 2012

A Week Of Getting Engaged And Calling Off Weddings

I'll start with the wedding that was called off first.

It takes a minute for a television show idea to get shopped around. Even when that show is a reality show, it will more than likely get a lot of no's before someone finally says yes. Well, rapper The Game proposed to his baby mama last October in front of cameras. In the last couple of weeks blogs everywhere started announcing news of a reality show surrounding their upcoming wedding. However, The Game's dedication to being in a loving relationship is as good as his acting skills. In the last few days he announced that a wedding is no longer happening. He claims his baby mama is a good woman, but he's just not ready. Lame excuses! Anyway, while he decided he just couldn't be a husband, other men decided they were ready to give it a try.

One of those men is Stevie J from Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. During the extent of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta we've had the pleasure of seeing Stevie J's relationship with his baby mama MiMi Faust fall apart. She's just one of the five baby mamas on his list. Their relationship began to crack with rumors that he was sleeping with his artist Joseline Hernandez.  While MiMi is a well mannered woman who tries to keep her cool, Joseline will let anything slip out of her mouth. Maybe that is what Stevie J loves, because outside of cameras Stevie has proposed to Joseline. According to Joseline's twitter, she loves Stevie forever and their wedding will happen in six months. However, that's not the most surprising engagement of the week.

The most surprising engagement of this week has been news that The Dream is getting married. This news of his engagement comes just after he and Christina Milian have a public beef over parenting. In the midst of the beef The Dream called Christina a gold digger. But wait, this is the same man that does not take care of his children (supposedly). This same man is not fine and only attracts women because of his money. He's rich, so he flaunts it. Now he's getting married again. Someone let The Dream know that this new woman is also a gold digger.

Now this topic is giving me a headache. All of these celebrities can just toss around rings like they get sold at the Dollar Store. Meanwhile a regular chick like me remains single.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Brandy Performs "Put It Down" In Cute Outfit

I'm not a label stalker, but maybe I should be. Recently Brandy hit up DC to perform her single for her upcoming album 2/11.

During the performance Brandy worse a cute blue outfit that just needs to be in my closet. From far away it looks as if it could be a one piece suit, but if you look closer you can tell it is a shirt and shorts. It fits her so well and it is an easy outfit to dance in.

Brandy has really upgraded her dance moves. This is definitely an old school singer who is getting her R&B title back to current. "Put It Down" will be on Brandy's upcoming album 2/11, which will be available in August. Check out the performance below.

Breaking News: Brandy's album 2/11 has been pushed back to October. Now I'm starting to wonder if this album will ever be able for our listening pleasures. Probably Not!

I Killed My First Roach (In The Middle Of The Night With No One Around)

Don't laugh at me. I've seen roaches in my past. They always seemed to come out of nowhere with their ugly little bodies. Then they'd frighten me into running for help. Most times help would come, but anger would come too. Whoever came to my rescue would be mad that I couldn't do that task myself. The task was killing the roach, but my fear would not allow me to accomplish it. However, in the middle of the night it happened.

It was approximately 1:00 A.M. and I was slightly thirsty. As I was getting a drink out of the corner of my eye I saw some tiny thing moving. As I turned I realized it was a roach. I ran, but there was no one to help. No one was around to kill it. Actually everyone was asleep, so I hopped in the bed hoping for a miracle. After two minutes I realized that miracle would not come. It would still be  crawling when I woke up tomorrow.

Perhaps it would be chilling in the living room waiting for me to come out. Maybe it would find it's way into my room and wait by my bedside for me to wake up. Worst case scenario is it would be waiting in the tub for when I took my shower. None of these could happen. I couldn't allow it. If I hopped in a shower and a roach was there it would definitely be the end of my life. So I acted upon  instinct.

The instinct was to kill it by all means. By all means meant grabbing my shoes and taking care of business. By the time I got the courage to leave my room the roach had me it into the bathroom. I realized that my worse possible fear could come true if it did not die in the middle of the night.

The roach stood still somewhere near the toil. My shoes were ready for stepping activity, but my body was shaking. I couldn't step on it. I was too nervous. However, in the same bathroom was roach spray. That was plan B. I grabbed the roach spray and aimed. It ran. I aimed some more. It made it out of the bathroom and into the hallway, but then stopped running. As if fought I sprayed some more. Then I stood there watching it die. That was the easy part.

They say insects are dead once they roll on their backs. This roach rolled over on its side. I wasn't sure. However, I grabbed a broom and dust pan in anticipation to get it out of my sight. My fear made it hard to pick up that nasty little creature though. Seriously for 20 minutes I stood there getting up the nerve to sweep it into the dust pan and toss it in the trash. Finally the courage came and I acted fast.

But wait... forget about all the fear surrounding the circumstances. I did it with no help. I killed my first roach. As this was accomplished no one in the house woke up to see what all the commotion was about or why lights were turned on. It is a good thing too because they would not be able to accept my victory as well as I was able to. I killed my first roach. I'm proud of myself. Now as some of you are getting ready to wake up soon, I'm about to get a couple hours of sleep in before preparing for work.

With "Mama Drama" Vh1 Manages To Find A Crazier Cast

If you thought "Love and Hip Hop Atlanta" was crazy, you need to watch "Mama Drama." This show reaches new crazy television limits.

There's a new show on Vh1 called "Mama Drama" and it's supposed to express the relationships between mother and daughter. At least that is what one mother/daughter pair assumed it would be about when they agreed to be on the show. However, this "Mama Drama" show is far from revealing a nice healthy relationship between a mother and daughter. In fact this show makes "Love and Hip Hop Atlanta" look like a good Christian family show.

See, the craziness started at the beginning when a mother (Debbie DeAngelo 49) and daughter ( Gina DeAngelo 24) were washing a car in 2 piece bathing suits. Both were wearing the 2 piece bathing suits and it was disgusting to look at. Even more, the mother was priding her daughter on looking as good as her. I was so confused. That is not a mother/daughter relationship. Then it became crazier.

More party moms and daughters appeared on the screen. There was one quiet daughter who claimed her mom did not have a friendly relationship with her. However, they were not the craziest pair in the bunch.

39 yr old mom/22 yr old twins
The craziest pair happened to be the 39 year old mom with twin daughters that are 22. You do the math. You can't really tell who is the mom and who the daughters are because they all look and act like sisters.

As mentioned above the DeAngelo's were under the impression that Vh1 would hi-light their loving mother/daughter bond. They were obviously not paying attention to all the other reality shows. Instead this show hi-lights over-the-top moms who try be be more like sisters to their daughters. That means lots of two-piece bathing suits, lots of alcohol, and very little parenting.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

From Khia's MotorMouf aka Khia Shamone CD

Just in case you've been living under a rock Khia's new CD "MotorMouf aka Khia Shamone" is now out for entertainment purposes. It dropped on iTunes last week, but officially came out yesterday (July 17th).  Due to a busy schedule I purchased the CD via iTunes on Sunday and thoroughly listened to it. Hood music has become one of my best friends, so yeah Sunday was a perfect day to listen. After listening, I found some new favorite songs to  jam to.

Before I start talking about the songs, they are all ratchet and about sex. I just can't seem to stay away from sexual songs for some reason. Anyway, the very first song that caught my attention was called Dickmatized. Listen below.

Dickmatized is actually how the titled sounds. It's about how that one part of the male's body can drive a woman crazy. Wait, actually it can make a woman fall in love with him. I've never experienced it before, but it sounds great. Actually this song is also my first introduction to Khia singing. She's not bad. Then there was the song "Half On A Room."

Okay, so the title "Half On A Room" reminds me of R. Kelly's "Half on a Baby." However, that's not what I love most about it. The song is very relatable to my life. Since I do live with family I can't just bring a man around. Going half on a hotel room would be perfect for alone time. Even if I lived on my own going to a hotel room would be better. It's kinky stuff. 

Those two were my favorite. Some that didn't interest me were "Been A Bad Girl," "Fix Ya Face," And "K-Wang 2.0." Two were super old and the third just didn't need to be remade. Khia would have done better replacing it with her diss/remix to "My Neck, My Back."

Anyway, there are 22 songs on "MotorMouf aka Khia Shamone." You should join me in listening to this music. Maybe it'll have you going half on a room and getting dickmatized somewhere. 

Love And Hip Hop Atlanta Is Not Scripted

But it is a made-for-BET movie.

Some people believe Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is a scripted show. They believe there is not even a hint of reality going on. They judge this by Stevie J's calm demeanor whenever a woman is yelling at him. They also take notes of how background people are not staring crazily when fights are breaking out in nice restaurants. In fact there are barely any people in the background. All you see is cameras and camera men. However, the sight of cameras does not make this show scripted. It adds more realization that we are watching reality take place. Below are some example, including the sight and hearing of camera men, that makes this reality and not scripted.

The Camera Man Talked
Actually the camera men were my first realization that Love and Hip Hop Atlanta was not staged. It all started with the very first episode. Let's rewind back a couple weeks. MiMi had just recently discovered that Stevie J was cheating on her with Joseline. So MiMi is chilling with a bunch of girls when one of them points out that Joseline is Stevie's man. The mood turns sour and then all hell breaks loose when Stevie J and Joseline decide to join the party. Everyone argues, they somehow end up outside, and MiMi gives Stevie J an ultimatum. Actually, maybe both MiMi and Joseline threw out ultimatums. I have to watch the episode again. Anyway Stevie J. chooses Joseline and goes running to her limosine. He hops in the seat and the camera man goes "Wait, you leaving with her? What you doing man?" That quote was a little paraphrased, but the point is the camera man was shocked into talking. Now have you ever watched something scripted and heard a camera man's voice? See this is not scripted.

The Natural Flow of The Black Dialect Language Is Present
Black Dialect is a language that comes natural to African Americans everywhere. When you research this type of language on the internet it's most commonly used in older movies showing the lack of education African Americans once had. However, we've learned to take the slave-sounding grammar and turn it into an every day usage. This flows naturally throughout Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Not one person on the show speaks as if they've had any kind of reporter training, an acting experience, or took any English courses seriously. Plus watch The Color Purple again and then watch episodes of Love And Hip Hop. There is no way they could be acting this language out.

Security Guards Are Everywhere
In the movies when a fight breaks out the main characters and supporting characters go at it until someone wins. They have absolutely no help and they have no one stopping them. However, on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta security guards are everywhere. The moment anger boils to the surface a security guard steps into the lime light. What scripted show do you know would strategically start fights and cue security guards to break it up before it really gets physical? This is reality and not some scripted series.

MiMi is Really Angry At Stevie J
On the very last episode MiMi takes Stevie J. a few boxes filled with stuff he left at her house. A lot of people saw this as a scripted show because she only had three or maybe four boxes. However, Stevie J. has been on and off cheating on MiMi for 15 years. He has clothes and collectibles spread all over the place. Plus MiMi admitted that she barely sees him anymore. That means that he would have everything he needs elsewhere. That's reality. In a scripted show the man would have enough clothes strategically in every house he crashes at just to make he look that big. This is not scripted.

Also MiMi and Stevie J are really breaking up in real life. In the movies the couple always works it out in the end. This is not a movie. Some people thought Stevie J. won MiMi over in the last episode after she dropped his boxes off. No, she hopped in her car and ran over his shit.

While the show is not scripted it is a made-for-BET movie.
If you've ever watched a movie on BET you know what I'm talking about. The editing most times is good, but the things people do is so crazy that you just can't stop watching. For instance there's this one movie that The Game did. His acting was terrible, but the movie was so crazy I watched it all anticipating the end. Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is the same way.

An example was when Joseline took the pregnancy test. It is something every woman who thinks she might be pregnant does. However, whoever edits this show made that pregnancy test scene so artistic I had to watch and see if Joseline was really pregnant. This is not the only scene that had the extra creativeness played into it, but it's the most memorable.

 I'm excited about the next episode of this crazy dose of reality now. Have you been watching it. Do you think it's scripted?

Monday, July 16, 2012

2012 Music Kendrick Lamar Swimming Pools (Drank)

2012 Music K'LA Ft. Nas Blame

Joseline Hernandez Is More Than The Strip Club And Music

Or at least we'd like to hope she sees herself as more. Joseline Hernandez is the most recent famous celebrity from a reality show. She is currently on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta as the mistress to music producer Stevie J. Other than his mistress she's also supposed to be known as an up and coming Latino rapper. From watching the show we would think Joseline has no talent other than rapping and stripping, but I don't believe it.

Yes, Joseline has proved to be an artist with her music. We've heard whatever that Latino song is supposed to be played several times on the show so far. Although she's proved her artist status, we can also tell she can't dance. Hence, the last episode where Stevie J paid someone to teach Joseline how to shake her butt. That should be a given skill. We've also gotten accustomed to Joseline saying whatever comes to her mind. That's a true artistic skill.

Joseline has also proved to us that she can strip down naked. This one wasn't exactly on the show. After the very first episode of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta people accused her of being a man. In retaliation to the accusations Joseline stripped down naked and had someone photograph her womanly parts. That act alone clearly shows where she comes from.

We also know that Joseline is afraid of going back to the strip club. Every time she gets in a confrontation with Stevie J or gets in the confessional she screams that she's not going back to the strip club. However, I think it's possible for her to give up music and still turn her back on the strip club. She has other talents.

Joseline Knows The Black Dialect Language
If she really wanted to succeed in life one way of doing it would be to become a teacher. She could excel in teaching people how to speak Black Dialect. Black Dialect, also known as African American Vernacular English, is a language commonly spoken in the south. This language is reminiscent of how slaves spoke and can still be heard by African Americans all over the world. An example of Black Dialect usage would be the Bernic Mac Show. However, if you've been watching Love And Hip Hop Atlanta you already know what this particular language is. Many of the cast members speak it, but Joseline has it perfected the best.

A Model
Joseline is tall, skinny, and is willing to wear anything. Most models are the exact same way. If only she could learn to keep her mouth shut, she would fit right in on American's Next Top model or maybe blend it on Kanye West fashion line.

A Video Vixen
Again we know she can strip real easily. However, Joseline doesn't want to go back to that life. Instead she could cash in dancing in different people's videos. Video vixens don't have to really know how to dance. They just have to look pretty for the camera. This option would be if her music career doesn't work out, but she still wants to be in front of the camera.

That's all I can come up with for now. Clearly from her twitter Joseline doesn't want to pursue higher education. She likes her money fast. Do you have any ideas of what Joseline could do if her music career fails? She doesn't want to go back to the strip club.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Summer Reading, Someone Bad And Something Blue

I've finished the Fifty Shades series. I wanted to discuss this book with a reading group or something, but no one seems to be on the same page as me. In fact no one seems to really be discussing the book. Instead their stuck on the myth of way too much sex going on. So I've moved on. Currently I'm reading "Someone Bad And Something Blue" by Miranda Parker.

"Someone Bad And Something Blue" is a cute fictional story about a woman who is a bounty hunter, but is forced to take a break by her boss. In the midst of her vacation she starts to fall in love with a pastor, but also gets distracted by a fine US Marshall. She also embarks on a hunt to find the person who killed her husband after 6 long years of the case being cold.

I'm sort of in the middle of this book and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Before this book I did not know what to read next. Thank you Walmart aisle with all the books on it. Miranda Parker is an excellent story teller. This is the stuff I live for.

The Game And His Baby Mama Are Getting Married On Television

Just when I think ideas for a new reality show are dead, something new pops up. Weeks ago it was a show called Mistresses of Atlanta and that was too ratchet for actual television. Now rapper The Game has decided to marry his long time baby mama on national television.

This all started last year when The Game had MTV cameras to record him doing the proposal and she accepted. Of course she would. They have two kids together already. Then with all the bad publicity surrounding The Game, he decided this would be a good way to show how grown up he is. Read his words to MTV below.

"As a man, this is that day where you throw your player card away and you kinda gotta step up and be a family man, and she deserves it. It’s been a long run, and we’ve been together at least seven years. We’ve been off, we’ve been on, we’ve been arguing, we fought. We had good times and bad times, and I think that at the end of the day, as a man, this is something that I owed to her and I owed to my family, so it was time."

I guess men really don't marry women when they first fall in love anymore. No, they make us have six or just two or their kids, spend years being docile (or arguing) to prove ourselves, and then finally pop the question. Will you be watching The Game do what he should have done years ago?

P.S. They are a cute couple and both look like they've gone through some hard times.

Music Video Amen Meek Mill Ft. Drake

Meek Mill has finally dropped the video to his song "Amen." What's so special about this video? There's nothing special about it. It looks like every other video on the internet. However, lately the song has been receiving lots of controversy.

This controversy is mostly centered around the song being called "Amen," phrases like Amen and Church being thrown around, and the words being unholy to 90% of the general population. Although I definitely see nothing wrong with what Meek Mill or Drake says. They're worshiping the joys of living their very rich life at a young age. What do you think? Are you one of those people that are complaining about hearing someone say "Amen" after saying "It's a lot of bad Bitches in the building" or are you blasting this song every time you hear it on the radio/your ipod?

What Happened to Good Morning Texts?

Random Internet Picture. I have an iPhone. 
This is an intellectual question, so think about it as you are reading. I've never received a good morning phone call. Never! However, I used to receive text messages in the morning from men. It was never just one man. It would always come from more than one. I hoped that one day it would thin out to that one special man texting me every morning or most mornings to show his love for me. In fact if he didn't text me then I would text him instead to keep the conversation going. That has never happened. In fact the texts from several men just stopped one day. They disappeared. What happened?

You're probably wondering why I never started where any of them left off. See, I've never been a huge text message conversation type of person. In fact I'm not even a morning person. However, I do love to talk on the phone. I'd be the girl that picked up the phone and called the man I wanted to speak to. A text is way more impersonal than hearing his voice. However, no matter who he was the man would more than likely not answer. It has always bothered me when a man didn't answer the phone.

I remember as a teenager trying to get in touch with my birth dad. Sometimes he would answer. When he did the conversations would last no more than two minutes. After that two minutes was up he would find a reason to rush off the phone. Now if he didn't answer I'd have to listen to ringing after ringing until the voice mail came on. Sometimes I would leave a message, but nothing was ever returned. He didn't see me as important enough to call back and see what I wanted. I never understood that, but when I realized I was following the same pattern with these men it had to stop.

So I stopped calling the men. Instead I started practicing the art of waiting by the phone. This led to the realization that a lot of men don't like to call. They like to text instead, so I waited for the text messages. When they came I would respond back and come up with ways to further the conversation. In the beginning a lot of these text messages would either come in the morning or very late at night. Everyone knows that morning texts are easier to respond to. However, sometimes I would get brave enough and text a man instead of waiting for a text message. Do you know that men treat text messages from women the same way they treat phone calls from women?
Whether a phone call or a text message it's always special when I receive one from a man. However, it's been a long minute since any have come. What happened to them? Did I get uglier? You don't have to see my face to text me. Did I become boring? That could be a possibility? Did all the men in the world that once knew me develop arthritis? Nah, they're too young still. I really want to know the answer to this question.

Sunday Reflections: Ratchet Songs Speak To Me

I started Sunday Reflections to reflect on the past, but the problem is I don't always want to talk about what happened long ago. So here is a current interest that keeps me entertained and out of trouble. My favorite song on the radio right now is Juicy J's "Bands Make Her Dance." The beat is hot, the lyrics are entertaining, and the words are slightly uplifting. 

"You say no to ratchet pussy. Juicy J can't."

"What's your real name and not your stripper name?"

I love ratchet songs. During the most stressful times they call to me and put me in a good zone. Ratchet songs make me feel like I'm the hottest stripper on the block, lame niggas are worth being around, I have a lot of money in the bank, and every nigga wants to fuck me. For real, these songs make me feel good. Plus they preach a lot of real shit.
An example of a ratchet song I currently love preaching real shit is Gangsta Boo and Zed Zilla's song "Nympho". The song Nympho is strictly about being crazy over money. It's about me, you, rich, and poor people everywhere feigning for money. This song describes everyone's feelings and it's motivational. Listen to this song and you'll be searching for a new job because money is the goal and we can only get it if we work hard for it. See, Nympho speaks to me. 

Another motivational ratchet song that speaks to me is Chief Keef's "I Don't Like". Lately there's been a lot to be angry about. Hell, it's been easy just to get on my nerves or stress me out. To top it off I'm single and spend my nights sleeping in a bed fit for two, but only has one. Plus to add to that I don't always fulfill my fun goals I put together for myself. So it all makes me angry and I need a way to let off steam. Chief Keef's "I Don't Like" is the perfect way to let that steam off. All I have to do is turn up the radio when it comes on or find it on youtube and when the beat starts I'm instantly motivated.

There are so many ratchet songs that I love. There's Meek Mill's "Amen." There is just about all of Cash Out's songs. Although Cash Out has a very monotone voice, his songs are still addictive and ratchet as hell. Then there is Beat King's "You Ain't Bout That Life." Wait, what kind of life is it talking about? That doesn't matter. The lyrics are hot and his voice is sexy. There are really too many songs to name, but my favorite of all ratchet song that puts me in a zone remains "Don't Cum In Me" by Erika Kayne and Ray Jr. Sex is good, but this nigga said "Them pills I done popped I can full all week." That line alone is the most ratchet thing ever and takes your mind off of every problem you've ever had in life. 

Basically these ratchet songs speak to me. They take my mind off of whatever real world problem I just encounter and drag me into a hood world. Men with dreads and gold teeth become okay. Throwing on hoochie dresses and short shorts to impress some man physically clouds my mind. Being called a ho and a Bitch is acceptable. Those words are being said in entertaining ways. Sharing a man is all good. Well wait, sharing a man is never good, but I can pretend during the five minutes one of those anthems comes on. This is one of my ways of fading from reality and I enjoy. Now excuse me while I blast "Bands Make Her Dance." 

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Pop That by French Montana, Drake, Rick Ross, and Lil Wayne

I absolutely love this song. Dancing to it makes me feel sexy. Now stop judging me because you like it too. 

Karina Pasian When You're In Love

Khia's Independence Tour Is Coming To A South Side Area Near You

Soon Khia, America's favorite thug mistress aka Motormouf, will be dropping a brand new album and doing an Indepence tour in a part of the south near you. 

The album, MotorMouf aka Khia Shamone, will drop July 17, 2012 and Khia promises to have new raunchy music for your enjoyment. Immediately after Khia will start the Independence tour on July 18, 2012. Her tour will be in a location near you if you are in Florida, Georgia, or Alabama. 

If I lived closer to those states I'd be willing to drive down to one of those performances. I've always been curious as to what a Khia concert is like. Is it full of ratchet activity? Is it as good as a Beyonce concert or so bad you can't help but talk about it for weeks? I want to know. Anyway, I'll be supporting Khia by buying her album on the 17th. She's the only artist I know that have remixed their own hit song to diss someone. 

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

2012 Music K Michelle When Crying Is Easy

"When Crying Is Easy" is my favorite song off of K. Michelle's new mix tape 0 Fucks Given. In this song K. Michelle goes over all her problems and then explains that crying is the easiest way to get rid of those problems.
I can definitely relate to the words. Crying has always been the easiest form of getting my issues out. It's been a touch process getting to the tears though. After building up tons of pain, I've had to fight for privacy just to let the tears out. If I've ever cried in front of anyone, they've managed to make me feel like the pain was my fault. So whenever I've been alone and the pain was too much to bear, they tears have always came out easily. Even now when I realize I can really think about my hardships without anyone running in with disapproving eyes, I shed tears.

I don't know if the tears really do the work to eradicate any pain, but they come out easily and they damn sure feel good in the moment.

My Apartment Hunt Journey

Months ago I decided that by my birthday I would be in my own place. It was a spur of the moment idea to make a permanent move date and follow through. The idea manifested itself into a desire that soon formed into an obsession. The obsession made me start looking at the places to live surrounding me more seriously. However, that was not be beginning of looking at apartments. Almost a year ago, without an actual date in mind, I started the apartment search.

The very beginning of the apartment search was just for fun. I started with the apartments immediately surrounding the area my parents live in. These were of course expensive. Before I even asked for the price of the smallest one bedroom I knew it was un-affordable. However, I asked and looked around. The more I looked at these places the more dreams of being by myself filled my head.

I imagined having a comfy couch, a nice television, and a blanket covering myself as I drifted off to sleep. Who needs to get up and go to the bedroom when they live alone? I envisioned being in a small kitchen cooking a meal fit for one. Contrary to the rumors, I can cook a little bit. I imagined coming home to a quiet and empty house. Then I'd snap out of these imaginations and make my way back to the parents crib. It would be noisy, full of yelling, not enough room to watch television in peace, and just plain nerve racking. Plus the biggest realization came through several different revelations.

One revelation was people continuously coming in and out of my room. I like my space, so this was (and still is) unacceptable. Another realization came when I was scolded about not attending church anymore. The person who brought this up said it as if I was becoming this horrible person that needed to change immediately. I was talked to like a child and that was unacceptable. No one should be scolding me anymore unless they are handing me a paycheck every two weeks. There were many realizations, but the biggest one came when a cousin suggested I move in with her.

While living with family is always better than being on your own in the minds of some people, I made a promise to myself a long time ago. That promise involved moving away from the last horrible roommate I had and finding living by myself. This promise has yet to be filled. In fact no one has respected my idea of living alone (except for maybe my best friend.) So when that cousin suggested I move in with her, I absolutely knew it would never happen. Nope, I have to respect this promise I made to myself and it's close to being accomplished.

In the last couple of months I've searched hard, argued with parents over areas I was looking in, got tired, gave up, and recently found the energy to start again. I'm really seeing a few nice places in my price range that I love. I'm almost ready to make a decision.

I started this search on my own and have done pretty well by myself. There have been arguments with the parents over areas to live in. They'd rather me live with them forever because I can't afford to live within their ideas of perfect places. Shoot, maybe I just don't want to. I've spoken with random people about the hunt and gotten ideas from them. I've tried to take all of these ideas and add my parents safety tips to the equation. Plus I've noticed that whether the places are extremely expensive or on the cheap side, they all look alike (plus or minus a few details.)

The hugest revelation has been the fact of knowing once I sign a lease a one-bedroom apartment will have my name of it for a year. It won't be in my father's name, or my mother's name. My brothers won't be residents there and neither will cousins, aunts, uncles, grannies. Hell, I might opt out on having visitors the whole time I live there. Well, whatever I do it will be my own place, my bills, my comfort, and most importantly my sanity. I'm looking forward to this.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Rihanna Attends Barclaycard Wireless Festival in London

Days after burying her grandmother Rihanna hit the stage at the Barclaycard Wireless Festival in London. For her wardrobe, Rihanna pulled off a dark look that only she can get away with. But wait a minute. 

What is up with all this wearing of black lately? Is it her new signature style? Has she always done it and I just started noticing? I can understand the cute black Dress Rihanna wore to her grandmother's funeral, but this attire is something else. Maybe it's because her hair is black. 

Yeah, maybe Rihanna's black hair is the big influence to the rest of her wardrobe. I admit having red  hair makes me want to wear more red stuff. Either way there is no real problem. I do hate the diaper wardrobe that's been popular  for far too long. Will the diaper trend die? 

Fantasia Says Fuck Your Opinions At 2012 Essence Music Festival

Okay, well Fantasia didn't exactly say "fuck your opinions," but she did make it clear that we all need to stay out of her business.

If you've been lost in space over the last couple years, Fantasia has not made many headlines for her beautiful singing voice. Instead the commotion has been about her affair with some man name Antwaun Cook. However, now Fantasia no longer wants Antwaun Cook to be a headline topic in her life. Her exact words at the Essence Festival are below.

"I'm doing me now and I don't care what the fuck you have to say. So put that on your twitter."-- Fantasia

I also heard that in true diva style, Fantasia kicked off her shoes as soon as she hopped on the stage. Then she persisted to sing her heart away. I see that she dressed up in a way that only a diva can. Or maybe that's one of those "You have to try it on to get it" type of outfits.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Dormtainment Does Cashin Out Remix

I'm actually late watching this Dormtainment video, but wow. I'll never look at that Cashin Out song the same ever again. In fact I don't remember what I thought before.

Sunday Reflections: Fifty Shades Series Analysis

I'm addicted to the Fifty Shades series.

I'm curious about what secrets will unfold. See, Christian Grey is a huge mystery, but Anastasia is so insanely naive that I just can't help but be curious about how much deeper she will pull herself into a world of trouble. Actually wait, I'm underestimating Anastasia. She's not that naive. In fact she has more in common with Christian than she'll ever admit and that has nothing to do with the sex.

Hang in there with me. I'm trying to describe the series without giving away detail. Are you reading the Fifty Shades books? Last week I finished Fifty Shades of Grey, but then started on Fifty Shades Darker. Some of my non-interests have sidetracked my reading goal, but I'm halfway through the second book. It is getting good.

The secrets are slowly being revealed in Fifty Shades Darker. That's my focus for reading this book. It's the secrets that make it interesting. It is finding out why Christian Grey loves to beat his women, which will be revealed. I know it already. It is finding out why Anastasia has lived such a responsible life filled with no adventure up until meeting Christian. That part is coming out in slower forms. I want to know why this beautiful couple doesn't feel worthy of each other. They both have issues, but they are working through them. What's the problem?

 Some people think it's the sex scenes that keep us women hooked to this fascinating book. Nah, what woman would series sit through a bad porno? Some people have also said the horrible grammar keeps them from reading the book. Well, if you spend more than five minutes on the internet you can handle this Fifty Shades series.

So yeah, I'm addicted To Fifty Shades of Grey and all that he has to offer. Plus I have my eye of Anastasia. She can't keep up that innocent act for too long. Are you reading with me? What do you think so far?

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Why I Love Ratchet Reality

Ratchet is the best way to be right now. Ratchet is the best way to feel currently. Being from a hood background and still having a hood attitude is "In" for 2012. But no, you should not leave your house acting ratchet.

Recently Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, one of Vh1's newest reality shows, premiered. Currently it is three shows deep and pulling in over 3 million viewers per episode. However, that is not because of the reality show title. This is a new kind of reality that we are getting addicted to. Love and Hip Hop Atlanta appeals to the ratchet life.
I typed in ratchet television and Joseline came up.

There is the married music producer (Stevie J married to MiMi Faust) who is also sleeping with one of his artists (Joseline). Joseline also happens to be a woman Stevie J met and rescued from the strip club. In the last three episodes MiMi has become an angry black woman, Joseline has gotten pregnant, and Stevie J has just not cared at all.

Then there the soulful voice, also known as K. Michelle. She's struggling to get her career back on track after running through a million dollar record deal with no album to show for it. K. Michelle is a driven individual with a story. However, she's also straight hood. You read her tweets and envision a successful suburban woman, but then see her on television and see a real ghetto character that you love.

Just with those four individuals alone I fall into the trance of the television on Monday nights and become entertained. These people have real stories and real interesting personalities that I just love. I love Stevie J's I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck attitude. I love MiMi's emotional outbursts. I love Joseline's peeing on a pregnancy test in front of the camera for the whole world to see. I love how Joseline does not know how pregnant (if at all) she is. Most of all I love K. Michelle's honesty.

You just don't see this stuff everyday. At an eight hour job people put on this facade. They do the work they're told to do, barely speak unless there's a mistake made, and never show any real personality. I know the person working at Burger King probably has some crazy stories to tell about still living with their parents. I know the woman working at the bank probably has child support papers on her baby daddy. The co-worker sitting next time me probably gets drunk on the weekends,  but I don't hear about that. We don't hear about what goes on with the people around us. However, we can tune into the all the craziness of reality while watching television.

Now some people have said shows, such as Love and Hip Hop Atlanta, has taken the foolishness way too far. However, I don't want to see a Huxtables reality on my television. That's boring and unrealistic. I don't want to see "The Days of Oprah" broadcast across my television. She's too rich to be entertaining now.

I want to see controlling men grace my television screen. That's how men are. I want to see mistresses get pregnant. I hear about it, but where are they? Now I know Joseline is one of them. I want to hear about the hood mamas that sold drugs for a living and probably did them too. That's Frankie (Keisha Cole's mom), Mama Jones (Jim Jones Mama), and Momma Dee (Lil Scrappy's crazy mom). I want to see all the women chasing after men that don't deserve them. We all do it, but we won't all admit to chasing after some undeserving men. However, the women on television are quick to admit it for money purposes. What makes ratchet reality most special is it won't just stay on television. Once it's out there it is everywhere for everyone to know. It seeps into the online world and eventually gets discussed in the workplace or out with friends.

I love ratchet reality. It's real reality that you just can't get on an every day basis.

Frank Ocean Is Gay And Hip Hop Has Not Died

Overnight hip hop artist Frank Ocean, part of Odd Future, announced that he is gay. Actually, later everyone was talking about how he has sex with men and women. Although I think Frank is in love. Did you read his letter? Read below.

"Whoever you are, wherever you are… I’m starting to think we are a lot alike. Human beings spinning on blackness. All wanting to be seen, touched, heard, paid attention to. My loved ones are everything to me here. In the last year or 3, I’ve screamed at my creator. Screamed at clouds in the sky. For some explanation. Mercy maybe.  For peace of mind to rain like manna somehow. 4 Summers ago, I met somebody.  I was 19 years old. He was too.  We spent that Summer and the Summer after, together.  Everyday almost.  And on the days we were together, time would glide.  Most of the day I’d see him, and his smile.  I’d hear his conversation and his silence.. Until it was time to sleep.  Sleep I would often share with him.  By the time I realized I was in love, it was malignant. It was hopeless. There was no escaping.  No negotiating with the feeling. No choice. It was my first love.  It changed my life.  

Back then, my mind would wander to the women I had been with.  The ones I cared for and thought I was in love with.   I reminisced about the sentimental songs I enjoyed when I was a teenager.  The ones I played when I experienced a girl too quickly.  Imagine being thrown from a plane.  I wasn’t in a plane though.  I was in a Nissan Maxima.  The same car I packed up with bags and drove to Los Angeles in.  I sat there and told my friend how I felt.  I wept as the words left my mouth.  I grieved for them, know I could never take them back for myself.  He patted my back.  He said kind things.  He did his best, but he wouldn’t admit the same.  He had to go back inside soon. I was late and his girlfriend was waiting for him upstairs.  He wouldn’t tell me the truth about his feelings for me for another 3 years.  I felt like I’d only imagined reciprocity for years.  Now imagine being thrown from a cliff.  No. I wasn’t on a cliff. I was still in my car telling myself it was gonna be fine and to take deep breaths.  I took the breaths and carried on.  I kept up a peculiar friendship with him because I couldn’t imagine keeping up my life without him.  I struggled to master myself and my emotions.  I wasn’t always successful.

The dance went on.. I kept the rhythm for several Summers after.  It’s Winter now.  I’m typing this on a plane back to Los Angeles from New Orleans.  I flew home for another marred Christmas.  I have a windowseat.  It’s December 27, 2011.  By now, I’ve written two albums.  This being the second.  I wrote to keep myself busy and sane.  I wanted to create worlds that were rosier than mine. I tried to channel overwhelming emotions.  I’m surprised at how far all of it has taken me.   Before writing this, I’d told some people my story. I’m sure these people kept me alive.  Kept me safe… sincerely.  These are the folks I wanna thank from the floor of my heart.  Everyone of you knows who you are.. Great humans.  Probably angels.  I don’t know what happens now, and that’s alright.  I don’t have any secrets I need kept anymore.  There’s probably some small shit still, but you know what I mean.  I was never alone, as much as I felt like it..As much as I still do sometimes.  I never was. I don’t think I ever could be.  Thanks.  To my first love, I’m grateful for you.  Grateful that even though it wasn’t what I had hoped for and even though it was never enough, it was.  Some things never are…And we were.  I won’t forget you.  I won’t forget the Summer..I’ll remember who I was when I met you.  I’ll remember who you were and how we both changed and stayed the same.  I’ve never had more respect for life and living than I have right now.  Maybe it takes a near death experience to feel alive.  Thanks.  To my mother, you raised me strong.  I know I’m only brave because you were first…So thank you.  All of you.  For everything good.  I feel like a free man.  If I listen closely, I can hear the sky falling too."

While it is now out there that Frank Ocean is attracted to men, his music is still being bought. In fact his upcoming album "Channel Orange" might sell more records than usual hip hop album sales just because of the announcement.

Honestly I don't think Frank Ocean's sexuality matters that much. After all this is 2012 and hip hop continues to be evolved. Rappers are no longer rapping about ho's. They're rapping about sharing ho's. Singers are no longer being freaky under subtle words. They're expressing your needs. 2013 is half a year away. All we're missing is an album that a man dedicates to other men.

Frank Ocean is out of the closet. He's gay. Now I just need P. Diddy to admit his real sexuality, but of course we'll all go "duhhhh." While I took the time to write this post, I probably won't buy his album. I'm not a huge fan. I loved Novocaine, but then I saw the Novocaine video.