Sunday, July 29, 2012

Some Of It Is Based On Fact, Sunday Reflections

Some, well probably most of the poetry and short fiction I write, is based on fact.

People have been asking about this for years. Well, this is the truth. While I haven't done it to the extent of my creative mind, some of it is true. I've been hurt, torn down by people who supposedly knew me, and brought the my sexual peak. Then again, maybe I haven't hit that sexual peak yet, but there have been some good times. Then there have been some bad times where it felt like no one was on my side. Whether in poetry or short fiction I've managed to lay most of the emotions from my experiences for everyone to see. Yes, most of it is about my experiences and some of it is based on what I'd like to happen. This is why I continue to live.

Going to work and coming home is not living. That's called going through the motions of responsibility. That also means I pay bills, eat, and sleep. It's what others expect and what is needed to have a functioning life. It is not living. Living is hanging out with friends, going to parties, clubs, restaurants, or whatever else makes me happy. Living is getting up in the spur of a moment and deciding to have some fun. That fun could be just going to the movies.

After getting over the sadness of being back in Houston I decided it was time to start living. It was baby steps, but every step created a new memory. Every step has given me new ideas to write about. For instance recently I went to the club for a friend's birthday party. In the midst of dancing with a guy my friend said "There's no fucking tonight." I'm not sure if she was joking or not, but the idea of sexing a stranger in the club led to my very short story Giving Him Every Fuck I Can Feel.

Then there was last night when I ventured out to a club by myself. This was one I've never been to before, but it was still feel with lots of black people. Whether there's black people, there are memorable moments. I'm not going to tell you about last night, but maybe later down the road a hint of the experience will leak out into my fiction or poetry.

I'm living and writing. Life can only get better, right?

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