Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Reflections: New Years Resolutions

"I'm invisible simply because people refuse to see me"- Ralph Ellison

The more I write the more I feel like no one is paying attention to me. The more I log onto these networking sites the more I see people talking about New Years Resolutions. They're resolutions always involve them because the more I notice the more I realize most people only think of themselves. A couple days ago I wrote in a post saying mines was going to be to blog more. Well, I'm sticking to that, but I've come up with a new one.

My New Years Resolution is to inspire someone. I write and spill my heart out all the time, but sometimes I wonder if anyone is really getting the words? I know that one person understood the words in this year of 2009. It was the person I wrote the poem The Other Woman for.

I know I inspired her and it's not easy to inspire people. It's easier to make people hate you, make people suicidal, or even make people commit murder. So...
I want to inspire someone in 20-10. They don't even have to tell me they were inspired by my words. I just want to feel like I said something that changed some one's life for the better.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Reflections- Yesterday

In my last post I mentioned how agreeing to what the boy wanted was a mistake. Well, I went to church yesterday and realized something else...
Repenting is a never-ending thing.

The preacher told everyone in the church to repent for any sins or even bad thoughts they'd had over the past year.

Everyone messes up. If someone tells you that they are perfect, they are lying. Even worse, sometimes we don't even realize when we are making bad decisions. It just happens.

And when we don't realize our mistakes there's someone who tries to repent for us. So, if we are always repenting, when are we supposed to be content with the imperfect people we are?

Or are we supposed to never feel content? Are we supposed to always be on our knees praying because we messed up (or we had a messed up thought)?

Reflections: The Right Kinda Lover

At the end of 2008 I told myself I would take a break from dating. Up until that time my experiences with meeting men had all been bad. So...
I did take a break. I had to take a break because classes became extremely stressful. However, in the middle of March I met a man. Although I should reveal his name, I'm not going to do it. But...

I met him and he seemed sweet. He was nice and honest. He even used the b word on me, B= Beautiful. Before him I thought guys only used the word beautiful if they really meant it. I was wrong.

He went from using the B word to only wanting a friend. He said friend, but what he really meant was he wanted to play the role of boyfriend number 2 (for all my old school friends splackavellie). I was lonely (and stressed) so I agreed.


I agreed to what he said, but I never went through with the agreement. I was not looking for a boyfriend number 2, so going along with it would have played heavily on my conscious. I guess he did not like my breaking the agreement, because he stopped talking to me.

The lesson that came out of this was:
People will use you, but only if you let them.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Reflections and Lessons Learned

It's the last Sunday of 2009 and I can honestly say it's been a journey. I don't even remember the first Sunday of this year, but what I do remember is...
January of 2009

In January of 2009 I had a motto for the year. The motto was to live life by each moment and not stress what I could not help. Well, of course that motto was broken. First, I experienced a tough class, which I found myself crying over some nights. Then I ended up dropping the class because I did not want to get an F or a D. In the summer I took the class over. I know my work was better because I was better at what I was doing. However, I still got a C and I found myself upset over that. On top of that the class was taught by only one professor and I was upset that after all of my struggling it seemed like he still did not believe in my capabilities.

Even worse, I would have to deal with that same professor for another class. On top of that I had to deal with a new professor (actually assistant to the professor), who was a straight pain in the ass. I also received a C in this professor's class. It made me mad.

While a C is passing, it also means these professors don't believe in me but also don't want to continue to deal with me. That also hurts because while I did a lot of work, I also felt an obligation to try and please (also known as suck up to) these professors. It all seemed like a waste of time in the end.

However, lessons did come out of these experiences. I learned that there are going to be times where the people you need to believe in you most are not going to. They are going to think the worse about you. No matter what you say or do their thoughts about you will remain the same.

I also learned that stress is inevitable and some people will not be happy until the stress has killed you. My 12-year-old brother told me that authors don't become famous until they die.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Reflections: Sharks and Risk Taking

It's getting close to the end of the year, so I'm doing a lot of reflection on the things that happened and the people that I met.

Well, one memory is of a boy whose friends live down the hall from me. This boy seemed strange the first time I met him, but he became stranger one night when my roommate invited him over.

It all started with a simple question, which was "What is your sexual fantasy?" I think I asked the question (for what reason I don't know, but his response was out of this world. It was surprising, weird, scary, and funny. It was...
To have sex on a yacht in the middle of the ocean with sharks watching.

I laughed when he said it, but then later on I came to the conclusion that he was crazy. However, now I realize his fantasy had nothing to do with sex. It was all about taking risks.

Life is all about taking risks. We take risks when we apply to college. There's no knowledge of whether we'll get. We take risks when we fly. A plane seems to crash everyday. We even take risks when we sit back and relax. The more I learn about my society the more I realize people would rather see you dead than see you take a break.

So, what would be riskier than doing anything in front of sharks? If you survive, it's another achievement.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

IBW (Zane)

Candi Redd was going to be my next post but...ZANE just happened to be on the MoNique Show tonight. Zane is the author of...
* Sex Chronicles
* Sex Chronicles II
* Addicted
* Afterburn
* And too many more to name

Plus, she's the QUEEN of erotica novels. Her books are entertaining, mind blowing, and most importantly amazing. In every book she has sex scenes that are out of this world. Yeah, out of this world.

Her books also have relationship (or should I say sex) advice so couples can make their relationship better. On the MoNique show she mentioned that she has a manual in the book G-Spot that tells how women can discover their g-spot.

Did I mention the sex scenes in her books? In Addicted she has one scene where the woman gives the man oral sex in a movie theatre and uses cheese.

While her books are great (and she's became a millionaire from writing them), I'm sure someone once told her she was not good. Someone also probably told her that her writing was too explicit.But...
She did not listen to them and this is where she is now. And...
All of the above is what makes her an inspirational black woman. My goal is to be an author (and poet) and I hope to be as successful as Zane.

Monday, December 21, 2009

New Years Changes

It's been a couple weeks, but I'm back to blogging. First off I want to reveal my New Years Resolution. Every year I come up with one of these things, but never follow through so this year I told myself, "Misstoosexy you have to come up with something you know you will follow through." Soooo, here is goes....
Write on my blog daily.

That is as easy as it gets and I'm not going to wait until 2010 to fulfill it.

So readers remember as you are coming up with your New Years Reslution come up with something you know you can achieve.

Also, usually I come up with a song of the week, but since it is the end of the year I've comprised a list of songs I like. They can be found on the side of the page under Soulful Music.

Also I will start reading more books soon so I can have more good books to put in my section titled Soulful Reads and...I will feature an inspirational black woman weekly. Coming soon this week will be Candi Redd.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Sideline Hoe= The In Girl

Since Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) Tiger Wooods has been the hot topic everywhere.

It all started when Tiger got into a car accident outside of his house. Then things escalated when women started confessing to having having affairs with him. Now, over a week later, he is still being talked about in the media. Every talk show is talking about him. Comedy shows are making fun of him. Reporters on CNN and FOX are even talking about him.

And even worse...
His sideline hoes are scheduling interviews with the media.

Really!! Every day a new woman says she slept with Tiger. Then she tries to schedule an exclusive interview. What is the benefit? Why are these women putting themselves out there like that?

It's like the sideline hoes are becoming more interesting than the fact that Tiger's wife beat his ass. They even managed to overshadow the apology Tiger Woods gave to the pubic. Since rumors spread about his infidelity 9 women have reportedly confessed to having sex with him.

Or maybe that's it...
The lesson from Tiger Woods' cheating is society likes you more if you are the sideline hoe rather than the faithful wife.

Sorry Monica, but since Monica made such a beautiful song dissing sideline hoes here's the song...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

School Lessons- Sittin Up In My Room

Over the past few days I've seen hundreds of facebook statuses about the infamous cuddle season. This season makes me sick because the very moment the temperatures drops and it starts freezing out every girl is supposed to have some nice warm male body to lay beside.


Unfortunately, I never seem to meet that qualification. Every year I find comfort in hot tea and nice comfortable covers that I share with no one and I don't know why it always ends up like this. I'm 23 now and I have never even had a boyfriend. Cuddle season keeps reminding me that (ugghh).


Maybe I do know why I'm single. My standards for a man are high. I turn down men a lot and when I do give men chances all they seem to want is sex from me. Unfortunately for them they do not get that. All of that combined probably makes me come off as stubborn. I'm not giving them what they want so maybe that's why I end up by myself.

School Lesson of The Week:
1. Cuddle season is here and will continue to come at this same time every year.
2. The men are not the reason I am alone during cuddle season. I am.

Now because I've just derived all of this in the privacy of my room the song of the week is:

Brandy Sittin Up In My Room

Now because it is cuddle season, I do have a man on my mind, and Chaka Khan was featured on the Soul Train Awards the second song is

Sweet Thing by Chaka Khan