Thursday, September 30, 2010

Friendships And Networking

There are some events in my life that I am glad I experienced because they introduced me to people that I will be cool with for possibly the rest of my life. I'm going to name some off. These are in no particular order.

Hunters Glen Elementary: I'm so glad I was blessed to attend Hunters Glen Elementary in Missouri City, Texas because I had the opportunity to meet lifelong friends such as Adrienne and Mylana.

TOPS: TOPS at FAMU introduced me to my best friend Courtney who in turn introduced me to Laurette years later at her graduation who in turn introduced me to Eddie (who's a great singer and he doesn't know this but I'll be writing for him one day) and til this day I'm friends with them all.

Freshman Year Of College: I met Christina who was roommates with Kim and already friends with Nathifa and who managed to meet Elizabeth at the same time as me who all tried to play mother to me at some point and will probably continue and that will be okay because they're all cool people.

Plant City: My birthplace allowed me to meet Ratasha through my grandmother who loved to tell everyone about me being in college and that's cool cause Ratasha's a good friend.

FAMU J-School: FAMU J-School is where I met Randy, Tasha, Reginald, Audley, Walter, Kisha, Keithen, Letitia, and so many others. Well definitely have to keep that j-school connection alive as we all succeed in life.

Facebook: Facebook has gotten me connected with so many people and given me so many new readers I can't even name them all. I just hope I can keep the growth up and continue to support them the way they support me.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The "Good Girl"

Throughout my life there have been many times where I was referred to as a good girl. I was the good girl growing up in school. Guys rejected me in college because they thought I was good girl. A guy I really liked in college, but was never official with called me a good girl right after he was talking about some other girl he liked. UGGGHHHH....

I don't even get it. The good girl is the one who gets the perfect grades in school. She's the one that never makes a mistake when it comes to jobs. She can cook and leave a house looking spotless. She has plenty of friends and no enemies. None of those are me.

I've failed classes, messed up when it came to get simple tasks done, and burned food (even noodles lol). I'm not even the neatest of people and I've made enough enemies to have haters for the rest of my life.

I guess when people say it they are trying to compliment, but really it's a slap in the face.

Men Crying Over Men?

Two years ago during the presidential election Hillary Clinton was trying to represent the democratic party against Barack Obama. Clinton was probably good for the position, but there was one simple reason why she couldn't get it. That reason is stereotypes.

According to the stereotypes women are emotional people who worry too much, complain too much, and cry too much. On the other hand, men are stereotyped as being objectionable, holding their feelings in, and never shedding a tear.

However, that is changing. The roles are switching. Women are the ones that are expected to hold in their thoughts while the men are eagerly hopping on camera to shed their tears and tell their sad stories. It's pathetic. It's sad. The most horrible part about it is these men are not shedding tears over women. They're not complaining about the actions of women. They're not trying to get the attention of women at all. Instead they are trying to get the attention of the loves of their lives, which are other men. It's nasty to me, but it's the society I live in and I don't understand it. Why are men so willing to cry over other men?

This post was inspired by one of Bishop Eddie Long's accusers. I can't help but to shake my head every time I watch it.

I Love Questions (Video)

Earlier today I saw that Jerry Lavigne Jr. was going to post a new video and I was anxiously waiting on it. He may be a jackass in some ways, but his videos are very entertaining. Well, the video I was waiting for is now here. It's called "I Love Questions."

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Damaged Man (Poem)

This is to all the men that have ever experienced pain because of some woman.

Damaged Man
By Miss Too Sexy

Damaged Man
From the moment I saw you I knew you were damaged.
 From the way you let the door slam in the woman’s face
to the way you requested two checks at the end of the dinner
and told her you refused to ever pay for a girl again.
You thought your private thoughts were hidden,
but I could hear your silent tears as you yearned
to forget the memories of the women who’d turned you into a monster.
They hurt you,
used you for your money,
kept the baby because while you saw new life they saw dollar signs,
called you names like a no-good nigga because you couldn’t offer them the world.
Instead all you could do was take them for a picnic in the park.
You wanted to do more
And you were striving towards fancy restaurants and upscale clubs
But those girls were impatient.
Damaged man,
 I see that you are damaged
because women have ripped you apart
although women are the ones that should have been lifting you up.

Confused Man
From the moment I saw you I knew you were confused
because you went out on a date with a woman who could clearly see your pain
and was trying to ease it a little.
I knew you were confused because you made it your last date with her
 just because she decided to pay,
asked you for no money.
All she wanted was your company
because she could still see the genuine guy that other women had tried to take away,
 but when you pushed her away the genuine guy she thought was there disappeared.
You dissed her because she wanted to pay
and you dissed other women
because they wanted to pick you up in their cars,
 buy you new clothes,
call you and spend time with you.
They thought you were mean,
but really you were just confused.
You were broken down by girls who were only after you for your money
And you never knew that sometimes you should let girls provide for you.

Broken man,
Let me hold your hand
Broken man,
Let your healing process began
Because although you turned into a monster
There’s a woman like me waiting to see the gentleman again
And although seeing this may confuse you
Trust me
 Women have issues too
So broken man
Allow yourself to heal
Because women miss the hugs men give just to show they care
And women miss how men are quick to take them out on dates
Just because they think the women are beautiful
And women miss how men are quick to call
Or send a text just to check up on them
Women miss waiting by the phone
And women miss the bubbly feeling in the pit of their stomach that they get just from seeing you
So broken man
Let your healing process began
So you can become whole again

Monday, September 27, 2010

Great Quote From Raven Symone

“It is okay to say no — in real life and in Hollywood. People are scared and think they won’t be liked if they say no but in reality you are respected.”
-- Raven Symone

Kelly Rowland Gets Sexy For Complex Magazine

Recently Kelly Rowland did an interview and photoshoot, which is exclusively online, with Complex Magazine. In the interview she discussed her struggles with letting men play the manly role during dating and for the photos she got real sexy.

Of all the pictures this is my favorite. Bathroom pictures rule the world.

For the full interview and the rest of the photos click here.

Trying To Do My Own Hair

Yesterday I decided I was going to try to do my own hair. It's at that point where it's nice, thick, and not quite rough enough for a perm. However, it's not good enough to the point where I can just wrap it so I had to figure out something. Well, I wanted to kind of create the style that my hair stylist did in my hair a month ago, but I wanted to do it a little different. I wanted it to be star inspired.

One singer was Adina Howard. In one of the pictures I saw of her she had the the bangs to the side and a part in the middle. I thought it was cute and would look cute on me. Plus I heard that men think it's a sexy look.

I didn't want my hair totally straight however. I still wanted the curls in the back and middle. Monica's hair is straight. That looks good on her, but I like my curls.

So after putting these two hairstyles together this is what I came up with.

I really like the look. I think it's both sexy and sophisticated. I'm actually planning to get it cut shorter in the back so I can curl it easier.

Oh and the lipstick is purple. I heard purple and other dark shades are in this season.

Boom I Got Your Boyfriend

Back in the day females artists said whatever was on their mind and that was what made them great. Now female rappers like to talk about how pretty they are in ever song. That's all good, but I want to here more.

That is why MC Luscious song "Boom I Got Your Boyfriend" continues to stay on my playlist. It has a nice beat that makes you dance, it's a fun song that build confidence, and it's so rude.

When was the last time you heard a song that could be totally dissing you, but you danced to it anyway? I'm taking about something that didn't involve calling you a bitch or a hoe.



Fear is what drives the tears out of a child's eyes. Fear is what a person feels when someone close to them may be in trouble. Fear is what we feel when we're faced with choices we don't know if we can make. Fear is what we feel when we're faced with things we are not ready for. Fear is what we feel when we don't know if we can go on. Fear is that rush we get right before we realize we succeeded and faced our fears.

I just finished watching a movie called "The Brave One." In this movie a woman by the name of Erica is in fear of everyone after she is attacked and her husband is killed. She's so afraid that every time her life is put in danger again (as far as possible rape, witnessing crime, and getting justice) she kills the bad guy(s). To some she may be perceived as brave because she's doing what the cops are having trouble doing, but in reality she's killing because she's scared. She continues to kill because she doesn't know how to become brave and start enjoying life again.

The woman in the movie eventually let her fear become her downfall. However not everyone has to let that happen. So, when it's so easy to be scared of circumstances, how does one become brave again? I say stand up and start being a happy person again. That's easier said than done though.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Underground Female MC's~ Alja Jackson

Alja Jackson is an artist signed to Interscope Records. She might not exactly be underground, but I'm just hearing about her and she has no cd out yet.

The first time I heard her was on a remix of Usher's "There Goes My Baby," but I didn't like  it at all. Then I heard another song that she remixed and really liked it.

I'm pretty sure she's a singer, but she'd be a better rapper. She could give Nicki Minaj some competition.

Here's the "There Goes My Baby" video. Maybe you'll like it.

Some Things Never Change

Earlier I was reading through blogs when I saw a cool post on a friend's blog. It was titled "Some Things Never Change" and it simply stated the things that have always and will always make her happy. It inspired me so much that I decided to do a post.

My post is about the things that make me the person that I am and will probably never change. Here they go:

My bed will probably forever be unmade. It's imperfection at it's finest. 
I'll forever be a jeans girl (at least until I hit menopause or get a hysterectomy).
The phone will always be near me. I live to speak to my family and friends.
Music will always be stuck in my head (even the ignorant stuff).
I'll always be addicted to the electronics. (computer as soon as I wake up, cell for all the really important non-important phone calls, camera so I can be my own paparazzi and serve as paparazzi for others).
Blue will always be my favorite color.
Some people think I'm weird. Since after almost 24 years of life I don't know what they are talking about I guess I'll always be the way they perceive me. 

You can read her version at

If I Had To Do It All Over Again

I saw this on a friend's blog page and thought it was cute and creative. As of this moment if I had to do it all over again I'd go back to when I was in elementary school and save up all the little short stories I started writing. I didn't take writing seriously until I got to college.

For more cute pictures go to

A Little Lilith In Us All

Lilith is (in some religious text and folktales) the woman who God created before he made Eve. Unlike Eve, Lilith came from the dirt just like Adam. She was made as Adam's equal, but Adam didn't want an equal. Instead he wanted her to be subservient and she refused. Lilith then flew out of the Garden of Eden. God then sent some Angels to convince her to go back. However, Lilith refused and was given a horrible punishment which involved hurting children.

After God created Adam, who was alone, He said, 'It is not good for man to be alone.' He then created a woman for Adam, from the earth, as He had created Adam himself, and called her Lilith. Adam and Lilith immediately began to fight. She said, 'I will not lie below,' and he said, 'I will not lie beneath you, but only on top. For you are fit only to be in the bottom position, while I am to be the superior one.' Lilith responded, 'We are equal to each other inasmuch as we were both created from the earth.' But they would not listen to one another. When Lilith saw this, she pronounced the Ineffable Name and flew away into the air.

Adam stood in prayer before his Creator: 'Sovereign of the universe!' he said, 'the woman you gave me has run away.' At once, the Holy One, blessed be He, sent these three angels
SenoySansenoy, and Semangelof, to bring her back.

Said the Holy One to Adam, 'If she agrees to come back, what is made is good. If not, she must permit one hundred of her children to die every day.' The angels left God and pursued Lilith, whom they overtook in the midst of the sea, in the mighty waters wherein the Egyptians were destined to drown. They told her God's word, but she did not wish to return. The angels said, 'We shall drown you in the sea.’

'Leave me!' she said. 'I was created only to cause sickness to infants. If the infant is male, I have dominion over him for eight days after his birth, and if female, for twenty days.’

When the angels heard Lilith's words, they insisted she go back. But she swore to them by the name of the living and eternal God: 'Whenever I see you or your names or your forms in an amulet, I will have no power over that infant.' She also agreed to have one hundred of her children die every day. Accordingly, every day one hundred demons perish, and for the same reason, we write the angels' names on the amulets of young children. When Lilith sees their names, she remembers her oath, and the child recovers

-- via wikipedia

Lilith was strong, determined, and refused to be less than anyone else. She was so stuck in her own ways she abandoned paradise to do her own thing. Many of us have her characteristics. We are raised to be strong and independent. We are raised to not take bullshit from anyone. We are raised to think that we are right even when we are wrong. There are times when we do back down and let someone else win the battle. We could get that from Lilith too. In the end she did listen to God when it came to her punishment.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Basketball Wives Is Welcoming Another Ex-Wife

Earlier I was checking out and I noticed that another scorned ex-wife of a basketball player is joining the cast of Basketball Wives.

Her name is Tami Roman, she's the mother of 2 kids, and she used to be married to Kenny Anderson. From reading about her it's clear she's a gold digger with a mean attitude, but I guess she has to be mean with so many people (including the people commenting on saying hateful things about her.

Even with the attitude I like her and I'm ready to see her on the second season of Basketball Wives.

To read more on her click here.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Keyshia Cole's New Song?

Keyshia Cole has been absent for a minute on the music scene, but I think she's back.

Earlier I was searching youtube and I found a new song that came out this year by her. It's called "Someone Tell My Heart" and the sound of it is a little different than her previous songs. I still love it though. The only problem is someone youtubers (I made the word up) seem to think someone else is singing the song. I do hope it's Keyshia Cole's voice because it sounds great and would be great for the album she's working on now.

Letting Fashion Speak~ Ashanti

I love Ashanti's shirt in this picture no matter what she's referring to.
"We lied... size matters."

A Place To Call My Own

Yesterday I went apartment hunting. A part of me was saying not to do it since I'm not stable enough to live in my own place, but another part of me said to look. That part of me was curious and had been curious ever since I moved out of my apartment in July. That curiousness was killing me so I knew it was time to look even if I can't afford it.
Picture From Yahoo and Not Apartments

There were two apartment complexes I went to. They were both located around the corner from me. I'd already heard about the niceness of one of the apartments. That was the one I was most curious about. However, the person we (a friend was with me) talked to did not let us see any of the rooms. However, we were able to get a tour of two places in the second apartment.

One was a one bedroom/one bath and the other was a two bedroom/two bath. Initially I wanted to see these places because I only wanted to take a look. However, seeing the rooms and the nice further has increased my longing.

Now I have millions of decorative ideas flying around in my head. In my mind I've already decorated my bedroom and the living room. I've planned where a bookshelf could go. I've planned where I could possibly put my music collection. I've planned all of these things and I think the majority of the planning happened when I was standing in the apartment looking around.

Just the thought of decorating a place excites me and saddens me at the same time. There's no way I can afford a place at the moment and there's no way I can be my happiest while living under my parents roof again. I just have to be patient, but until then I'll keep looking.

I'm really excited about having a place to call my own. It won't be like living in Tallahassee. It will be better.

Working On My Grown Woman Look

I'm so not a dress, skirt, or even dressing up type of woman.

I'm most comfortable in my t-shirt and jeans.
If I would have had a camera person I would have showed you the whole outfit. The pants were really nice and comfortable.

99 Days Left~ Star Status Goals For The New Year

In 2009 everyone said that 2010 would be their year. Well, to an extent it has been my year. I did graduate and I've been able to expose my creative writing to more people. I have facebook friends I've never met that think they are my friends for life. Plus, my real friends have become more recognizable. However, all of my goals for 2010 weren't accomplished and although there are still a couple of months left I'm getting tired of the change 2010 was supposed to bring. I'm ready for 2011.

 However, I don't want to wait until 2011 to make changes for the year. Instead I'm working on some changes I can make at the moment to prepare me for 2011. I'm also trying to make sure these changes can be accomplished. Here are some  on my list.

1. Driving
On the side of my page I listed driving as a goal. Well, I've started the process of learning how to drive. I now have all the basics down and I've even been in the car by myself. I can almost hear some people saying "What took you so long." Well since I've started I now know that by 2011 I will have my drivers license and will be unstoppable.

2. Getting A Career
The goal for many college graduates is to get a job. However, I want more. I want a career. By 2011 I plan to either have my career or have how I'm going to start up my career planned out.

3. Working On Insecurities
Some of my setbacks come from insecurities. Professors have said negative things that are still stuck in my head. Supposed friends have said words that crushed my heart. I repaired my heart, but their words are unforgettable. Men hurt me deeper than I initially realized. I used to lack a lot of self esteem and sometimes I fall back into feeling the way I used to. I  have to work on it all. I have to build myself up to the strong person I know I am. By 2011 I want the world to see a more confident me.

More to come...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Underground Female MC's~ The Next Hot Female Rapper Maybe

This video is hilarious. I think she has some talent. She just needs to work on her appearance.

Every Star Needs To Be Exposed

Stars are the role models for society. Everyone wants to be like their favorite star.

Just think about the amount of people who purposely dress up like confused barbies because they're influenced by Nicki Minaj. Think about the amount of people who used to call themselves Queen B's when Lil Kim was the female rapper to look up to. Think about the amount of girls who are now accidentally making sex tapes because they saw how much fame it brought to women like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton.

That's why I know that when I reach star status (I want to do it the right way) I'm going to accidentally do something embarrassing to elevate my status even more. I'm too shy for a sex tape, but I love taking pictures.
So when I reach star status I'm going o accidentally have some pictures of myself in compromising positions leaked to the public. When the world reacts and I'm officially embarrassed I'll know that I've made it.

P.S. In case you thought you were going to see a picture sorry. I'm not that brave yet.

Tired Of The Love Game

I might be singing a different song in about a couple days, but for now I'm tired of the whole search for love. I'm tired of talking to my friends about perfect men and even perfect looking men. Then again I'm not tired of perfect looking men. Back in the day no one was trying to give me advice on what to do and now I don't even want to hear anyone's advice.

As for friends, I'm really not depending on their help too much. I asked one friend to help me and she tried to hook me up with someone I have no chance of ever meeting. I didn't ask another friend for help, but she offered up her advice on what she thinks I'm doing wrong. That thing about that is if I'm making a mistake I have enough experience to know that I am messing up.

As for the men, every now and then there's this one that asks me to visit him wherever he is at the moment. I've yet to take him on his offer. In fact it's impossible to take him up since I'm very dependent at the moment. Actually I don't even want to travel to visit him or any other dude. I just need a break.

Men put money and careers ahead of women so I'm about to put money and finding a career before men.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well I'm kind of pissed off right now so I hope a man can see the beauty in me when he comes along and I hope I'm not too angry to recognize the beauty in him.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hiding Behind My Dreams While The Stars Stand Out

Sometimes I have these very vivid dreams. The dreams are so powerful that they sometimes scare me. Every now and then I wake up thinking that these dreams actually happen. I go about my day thinking everything is much better, but then I realize things are still the same.

Last night I had a dream where I was working on a movie. Yes, it was a movie. I had written the script and all that was left for me to do was start filming. However, I needed equipment. Someone, I don't remember who,  believed in me so much that they gave me cameras and editing software for my computer. Then once I had the equipment I woke up.

I actually checked my computer when to see if there was anything that remotely resembled the dream. I found nothing. That was when I realized again that's it up to me to make everything happen and I can't depend on any handouts from people. Most people, including family, don't believe in this dream I have because they haven't seen enough to motivate them to believe.

Although the dreams tend to bother me, even scare me, my lack of supporters is why I know I need to just hide behind the dreams. After all a person can't reveal their plans to everyone.

However, stars can easily express themselves. Nicki Minaj proves this in a recent interview with Out Magazine.

"People who like me — they’ll listen to my music, and they’ll know who I am. I just don’t like that people want you to say what you are, who you are. I just am. I do what the f*ck I want to do. The point is, everyone is not black and white. There are so many shades in the middle, and you’ve got to let people feel comfortable with saying what they want to say when they want to say it. I don’t want to feel like I’ve got the gun pointed at my head and you’re about to pull the trigger if I don’t say what you want to hear. I just want to be me and do me.”-- quote via

I guess this means when I get to star status it will be okay to reveal everything that is on my mind. Plus, I won't be hiding behind dreams anymore. I'll have reality to back me up.

Faith Evans Is Officially Back

I once heard that no one under P. Diddy has a lasting music career, but Faith Evans is proving that statement wrong.

Yesterday Faith Evans released the music video for her new song "Gone Already." Although I'm getting tired of sad love songs I'm feeling this one. "If you already love someone who never took the time to love you" you're in it by yourself cause they're already gone.

Monday, September 20, 2010

What Is A Shone?

Shone is a word commonly used by some of my friends. I've heard it so much that sometimes I find myself using it to describe men. However, recently I stopped to see what the word shone really meant. This is what I discovered. definition

     Slang: Disparaging and Offensive a black person.

shine up to, Informal .
to attempt to impress (a person), esp. in order to gainbenefits for oneself.
to become especially attentive to (one of the oppositesex): Men shine up to her like moths to a light.

All I'm wondering is why'd they have to put black person

Momma Can I Talk To You? (Poem)

Yesterday I wanted to write something and this came to mind...
Momma, Can I Talk To You
By Miss Too Sexy

Momma can I talk to you
Been a long time since I did this
and now my mind’s overflowing with shit.
Don’t even know if I can express myself anymore
But momma can I try
And if I tell you what’s really on my mind
Will you listen?
I’ve gone through a lot
And to you it may only be a little
 But what you don’t understand is the past is screaming at me
Saying “You can’t escape me”
And the future is coming too fast for me to prepare
 I’m not ready to face all the bullshit that continues to resurface after I’ve buried it
Looking for jobs and all I can hear is former professor’s saying
“You’re not good enough”
Thinking about dating
But all the future niggas resemble the lame ass niggas from the past
And friends
My friends are all far away now
Can only reach them by phone or computer
And it’s leaving me feeling lonely
A deep loneliness that my words won’t justify
Plus one morning I woke up and realized this is the real world
The years of hanging out with friends every weekend and club hopping are over
I can no longer stress about getting up for two hour classes
Instead it’s getting up for a job or potential job
Cause I’m not where I want to be
And it’s taking a lot of thought just to figure out how to climb the latter of success
So much thought my head is hurting
Never knew what a migraine felt like until now
See momma I got all this and more on my mind
But I don’t know how to express it
And I’m running out of people to talk to
Running out of  people who’ll understand me
And you’re my last resort
Plus, I’m not sure how to reach out to you
Cause it’s been a long time