Tuesday, July 30, 2013

What If He Likes You And Your Friend?

What would you do if you met a man that was interested in you and your friend? Would you still be interested in dating him?
Via Twitter, He's Fine 

I recently heard about this situation involving a woman I know and her complicated dating life. It all started at a party where she met this really attractive guy. See, right know I'm feening over McKinley Freeman (Derek Roman on Hit The Floor), so let's just imagine the guy looks like him. During the party he approached her and they spent the whole night getting to know each other. I wasn't there, so I'm going to imagine she spent the time studying his body while getting to know his mind. In the midst of things, they exchanged phone numbers and she was floating on could nine. Well, that is until someone pulled her back down to earth. 

Another woman noticed her conversation with this attractive man, so that decided to put in her own opinion. She told her that the guy was also interested in another of her friends. Let's imagine the other girl he's interested in is Logan Browning (Jelena Howard on Hit The Floor.) For some reason people find Logan's character more attractive than the rest of the women, even though her character is the scheming one. Even scheming woman deserve love. Wait..

This friend that he could possibly interested in isn't a schemer. She's just another lady who has great taste in men. The woman takes what was told to her in consideration. She talks to the guy and he confesses that he thinks the other one is cute too. So she passes along her friend's number to him and tells him they shouldn't talk. He responds to the request like a perfect gentleman. It makes her want him even more, but now she has to deal with the other woman. 

The friend that we'll just compare to Logan is super excited at the idea of him possibly calling. Her friend does think he's super fine like McKinley. If only I was a little taller I'd stalk that man. I wonder if he likes short ladies. Currently I'm watching Hit The Floor and in this season finale his character has sex with Taylour Page's (Asha) character in the backseat of the car. I want that so bad. Being celibate is so hard. Now back on subject. 

She tells the friend the details, but then has a conversation with the sexy guy again. He never really wanted the friend. He wants to get to know her better. She's smitten by him gentlemanly ways and agrees to get to know him more, but there's another problem. 

Should she tell the friend that he's not going to call? She should tell the friend that her feelings for this chocolate guy are growing even more? How the Hell do we women get ourselves in these situations anyway? What would you do? 

Sunday, July 28, 2013

About Wanting It All (Sunday Reflections)

Over this past season of Marriage Bootcamp: Bridezillas we were able to see just what kind of people Remy and Rob Maadi are.

We learned that Remy is very attached to having all the material possessions in the world she wants and she also wants all the love that the world has to offer. Rob, on the other hand, is comfortable being a macho man who gets noticed. Sure Rob makes mistakes from time to time, but it doesn't make him a bad man and Remy recognizes that. While watching these two interact on the show was entertaining, I respect Remy even more after a comment she made on the Marriage Bootcamp reunion show.

"No I have not changed the whole spoiled brat thing."

"I'm a firm believer you can have it all, because there are people out there that have it all. So I want the great marriage, and I want my bling, and I want the great lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with that."

This came after the marriage counselors Jim and Elizabeth Caroll asked Remy if she has changed since Marriage Bootcamp. After all, she is bringing twins into the world. Her answer was quite possibly the most honest comment anyone has made in the history of reality television.

I feel Remy, because my way of thinking is the same. As a little girl, I was in awe at how fabulous women could be. I wanted to be one of those fabulous women that had the good husband, was doing whatever she wanted, and didn't let anything stop her. However, I grew up and discovered there are a lot of roadblocks. The beginning of those roadblocks are people trying to frighten you into the uncomfortable over-worked lifestyle filled with stress and no excitement.

I want excitement. I want entertainment. I want exploration. I want to be able to push my life forward instead of waking up a year from now in the same exact environment doing the same thing. I want be in awe of the beauty this world can put in front of me. Even more, I don't want anyone trying to convince me out of my thoughts. I want people to accept me for who I am instead of trying to change me. Plus, I want people to care. After all, I'm human. I bleed just like you. I shed tears just like you. I have dreams and get restless just like you.

I don't necessarily want the bling. In 26 years I've had my ears pierced twice and still don't wear earrings. The only ring I've been able to consistently wear is my high school class ring and I'm not sure where it is currently. Necklaces are cute when I don't break them out of nervousness. You get the point.

I'm not exactly materialistic, but I've grown to hate the word patience. It seems like the more patient I get, the longer it takes to make what I want happen. What am I waiting for? Death?

Saying I want it all is really very vague. I don't want everything in the world. I don't want to marry an Asian man. I don't want a dog, a cat, or any pet for that matter. I don't want the next woman's husband or boyfriend. I don't want to adopt any children. I don't want an unlimited supply of Mexican food. Nah, y'all can have that Mexican food.

However, when I do say I want to do something it's not a debatable topic.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Remy And Rob (Marriage Bootcamp & Bridezillas)

Remy and Rob are the materialistic couple on Marriage Bootcamp Bridezillas. At the beginning of the bootcamp they were very self absorbed, but they wanted to get better. They wanted to work on their marriage.

Okay, Remy was very needy in the beginning. She was also dependent on Rob and dependent on her materialistic possessions. Rob, on the other hand, was the husband that wanted to give his wife the world. He also wanted to have some fun. By the last episode Rob showed just how much fun he wanted to have.

The last exercise involved the couples taking off their wedding rings and being single for the night. All of the men the opportunity as a night to get out and party. They made it to a nearby bar and got very drunk. Out of everyone, Rob may have been the drunkest of the bunch. He thought of it as having a bachelor party all over again. During his time out, he asked a woman to dance. She knew he'd be getting remarried the next day, but she flirted anyway and asked for a lap dance. Rob gave her the best lap dance I've seen from any man. He wasn't playing games. It was so good the woman gave him her phone number.

For real???

This woman knew Rob was married, but she gave him the digits. However, Rob had to face the consequences of his actions later on. He felt horrible, but one thing was clear. He loves Remy.

Remy loves Rob too. They love each other so much that they have twins together. Unfortunately I don't know if they are boys or girls. We have to find out by watching their new television show Remy and Rob, which is also on WeTV.

I watched a little of the first episode. Remy talked about having a gender revealing party and Rob complained. They really are meant for each other.

Pictures Via WeTV.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Trina~ Ass Fat Featuring Meek Mill

"Pull over that ass too fat." I got a ass so big like the sun." "Ass like Trina. Face like Mya."
While some women rappers have altered their styles over the years to keep up with new talent, Trina remains faithful to giving us catchy ratchet songs that focus on body parts men love most. Her latest song is Ass Fat featuring Meek Mill. Listen below.
My ass isn't really fat, but I'm still dancing.

The Twitter Break-Up (How Did This Happen?)

Well, actually it was never a relationship and it was barely public. This weirdo guy just loved to hit up my direct messages. However, sometime after his first tweet to me he caught feelings, but then by that last direct message I hurt his feelings. I told him I would never tell anyone about him, so we'll just call him the twitter guy.

It all started with one of my many rants about the frustrating struggle to success. I do these often, because twitter is where we air out our feelings. Plus, success is what everyone aims for, right? I've always felt that the best way to get everyone's attention was by revealing my inner thoughts. It hasn't always been easy. I've also realized that not everyone cares. But I do care. So on this particular day I was showing how passionate I care about moving my life to a new level. Well I was thinking of plans to push my life forward when he sent the most interesting tweet. His tweet was that we should do a sex tape. A Sex Tape???? Yeah, that was his plan to help me get famous.

It did work for Kim Kardashian. It worked for a short time for Paris Hilton. Karrine Steffans wrote a book on all the celebrity men she had sex with, but we see what kind of label it left on her. I'm not the type to take the road of the less dressed, so I thought it must be some kind of a joke. The twitter guy wasn't joking.

In my joking mood I told him to send me his qualifications for doing this sex tape. Who is he? What does he do for a living? How could he elevate my career? What was he working with underneath those clothes? This was all very public. He wasn't the type to answer these questions in public, so he jumped in my direct messages. He confused me at first. Remember, I thought it was a big joke. He realized my playful mood, so to get me to focus he fed me a fantasy right away.

Let's call it the "Eat You For Breakfast" fantasy. I like rough sex, but he didn't want that. He wanted to work me slowly and make me feel real good. A lot of details were lacking, but it was his fantasy. He also wanted to he me from from the back. Is it every man's fantasy to stare at the back of a woman's head while he's pumping his dick in and out of her? Then he got to the part he thought I would like. He wanted to put me to sleep just to wake me up the next morning and eat me out for breakfast. Hmm..

I wasn't in love. I wasn't even really in like, but this twitter guy was leaving thirst in my direct messages for the moment. At least my naive ass thought it was only for that one moment.

He messaged me a lot after that. One of those times he called himself asking for pictures. I didn't want to see any naked photos to this stranger, but since he requested I sent my own request. It was of a dick picture. Then again, I'm not even sure if I requested. I think he suggested in exchange of some pictures of me. But he was so thirsty he sent one.

His penis was small, or maybe the camera made it seem that way. Who knows. Well, he did. After sending his picture, his insecurities started showing. He thought it was small, but he knew how to work with it. He didn't think he was cute, even though his face was his twitter avatar. He said he had never been in a relationship before, but he's had a lot of sex. What The Hell?

I didn't know what to do with all of this information. Should I stroke his ego? I threw little compliments at him to make him feel better. He was already too far gone. Should I send him some pictures? I sent a few. They weren't completely naked photos and I kept my face out of sight. I should have pulled a naked white woman off the internet and sent that to him instead. His response to my photos was very pervert-ish.

He wanted more than direct messages. I asked if he had a phone number. He claimed he didn't own a cell phone. He wanted to do video chats, but it wasn't exciting anymore. He still wanted to see me for some reason. I didn't know how that was going to happen.

We both live in two different places way across the country from each other. We've never seen each other and I've watched too many episodes of Catfish to take a risk. I've also studied too much of the news, watched too many movies on Lifetime, and realized just how crazy people really are. I didn't trust him, but not just because of all I just named. His obsession with physical relationships also creeped me out. I'm all about intellectual conversation and he was getting on my last fucking nerves. No woman who wants to be taken seriously is going to be willing to only have sexual conversations with some man, but I didn't tell him that.

Instead he found out I'd be hours away from him vacationing/going to a conference in Harlem. He suggested that after we should meet up at a hotel and get things popping. For real, this dumb ass thought I'd spend my hard earned money on a one-night stand in a hotel room somewhere on the North side of the United States with him. I rejected his idea and he became mad. Somewhere in his twisted mind, he thought my trip to NYC was all bout him. I tried to get him to think reasonably, but this dumb ass dude finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't interested in him all along. Then he claimed I was just like the other women that rejected him and that was the last I heard from him.

Soon he un-followed me on twitter and I don't even care to look at his page now. See, since we never met it's not a real break-up, but it is one Hell of a twitter break-up.

Damn, I need a real date to forget about this mess.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Half On A Baby (Poem)

So I was listening to R. Kelly and this poem can to form. I'll just call it Half On A Baby. Enjoy.

Let's go half on a baby
I know it's driving you crazy
Seeing all the Facebook updates
One, two, three cute children
Designer strollers are in
Baby food can be bought anywhere
And fathers taking care of their children is a win
Women like me putting their beauty aside
All that matters is the life they're carrying inside
But I know it's not just a woman's intuition
You're a man
You want to know that feeling too
Contemplating no condom usage
Planting your seed and watching it grow
Helping me through the stages
And on that special day when the baby is born
You helped do that
You helped bring a new life into the world
Whether it's a boy or a girl
You know you want to
So let's go half on a baby

Wait, it's not just about that
Remember that night
Yeah, I know you do
It was just supposed to be sex
But we connected on a much deeper level
I wanted to know more
And you did too
Like, what's your favorite color
And what makes you smile
What do you do for fun most of the time
How often do you get nervous
Is it okay if I make you mine
Wait, how much money do you have
Yeah, we should be more than friends
Lovers is a better word
Cause the sex can only get better
And a cute couple sounds better
Because we look good together
And my emotions are running wild
I can't get you out of my mind
You're the man of my dreams
So we have to make this official
And one day go half on a wedding band

But see, it's not just about marriage
Or bringing a child into the world
Ever since your touch, I've been craving more
When looking in the mirror I feel sexier
Has my skin been glowing
Are my breasts perkier than yesterday
And in dreams, I touch myself
See, you haunt me and make me feel good
So it's only natural that we get together
Only right that we do what's natural
Come on and be mine

P.S. I need a drink now.

The Conjuring (First Paranormal Movie I Believe)

The Conjuring made me feel like all hope is not lost for suspenseful movies. Yes, I went to see it this movie that is supposedly based on real life. Here are my thoughts.

Conjure- to summon a devil or spirit by invocation or incantation

The Conjuring would have been a lot better if I would not have accidentally sat next some couple. That's not the fault of the movie, but as soon as it got suspenseful the woman was leaning all against her man. Ugh! I had to focus hard and pretend this was not happening. I had to ignore the fact she was all on him while I had come to the movies alone to watch something scary. That's messed up. Now back to the movie.

Every paranormal movie starts out with a family spending their last dime on a house located in the middle of nowhere. Well, The Conjuring was no different. A family, the Perron's, was able to afford a country home located on what looked like an abandoned farm after the bank auctioned it off. Like every movie they were a big family with the oldest child not liking the idea of where they had to move. Plus they had a cute little dog that recognized the danger right away and refused to step inside the house. Too bad they didn't listen to the dog, but who would? I'm not sure if the haunting happened the night of or the very next morning.

The first night in the house the children were playing a game. This game was their version of hide and go seek. The one searching for everyone else has to be blindfolded and find everyone with the blind fold on. In the midst of the game they broke a part of the wall and discovered there was a basement. Then the next morning the youngest girl ran out to find out the dog was dead. Along with the dead dog, the mom, Carolyn Perron, discovered a bruise on her knee. The dad, Roger Perron, assumed it was from the sex they'd had the night before. The other eerie thing was that all clocks had stopped at 3:07am. They shook it all off as pure circumstance and continued to make their new place a home. Of course the fun doesn't stop there.

Strange things kept happening in the movie. Now usually in these movies the weakest link is the father and everyone else has to somehow save him. However, this time the whole family was being haunted by ghosts. The youngest daughter was talking to a dead boy named Roy. Another child was continuously being awakened from her sleep by a ghost who eventually told her it would kill her whole family. Then there was a daughter who was sleep walking. The oldest daughter had to get an involuntary haircut after a ghost would not let go of her hair. Plus Carolyn was on anti-psychotics, but those pills could not protect her from the craziness going on in the house. They also could not protect her from eventually getting possessed.

Carolyn was told to go to a doctor for the bruises that kept popping up on her body, but instead she went to see Ed and Lorraine Warren. The Warren's were famous paranormal investigators. Lorraine could also see glimpses of the past from everything she touched. They were initially skeptical of her story, but decided to check the house out anyway. The minute the Warren's arrived, Lorraine could see the ghosts that were attached to everyone.

I thought that was strange because she didn't see any ghost when Carolyn initially spoke to her. Hmm..

After seeing death everywhere, the Warren's decide that the whole house needs an exorcism. That's a new one. They told the Perron family that no matter where they went the ghosts would follow unless an exorcism was performed on the whole house. However, they would need proof that the place was really being haunted.

Before the Warren's came back, the Perron's did research on their house. Now why didn't they just do this before buying it and moving into it? They found out that the house was originally owned by a witch who cursed the land and hung herself. Her death happened at 3:07 am. Any family that moved in after was doomed. All the mothers ended up killing their children. Hence, the dead ghost the youngest girl was talking to. That ghost wasn't dangerous, but it was a victim of being murdered by it's mother.

A crew of investigators along with the local policeman set up in the house to get proof of a haunting. (I'm not sure what the policeman was there for. He can't protect them from ghosts.) In the middle of the night everything starts happening. The door to the basement opens, but the ghosts hides as they look for it. Pictures are taken as the ghosts moves around. The only thing about the 1st night that stays normal is the clocks. They decide not to stop working at 3:07, which makes the crew skeptical on that part.

Everything starts to get normal again, except there are a bunch of people around the house. The Perron's are feeling happy again. The Warren's are enjoying the nice feel of the country life. One strange thing that does happen is while Lorraine is doing laundry a bed sheet flies and covers the room where Carolyn is sleeping. In the midst of running into the house and up the stairs to check on Carolyn, a possession happens. Lorraine suspects it, but can't prove it.

I forgot to mention earlier the Ed Warren had a room in his house where he kept all paronormal findings. Most of the stuff was caged up to lock the evil in, but he warned everyone not to touch anything. While he was trying to catch strange activity, his child had been left at the house with her grandmother.

Everyone is in the house one night and the craziness starts back up. The policeman sees the ghost of a maid. The sleep walking daughters starts up again. This time they just follow her because Lorraine sees a ghost. The little girl disappears and then they all find a tunnel hidden behind the clothes closet where she is sleeping. While trying to figure out this hidden hole, Lorraine falls until she hits the basement floor. More ghosts pop up and she runs. After that, they all get the Hell out of there until the priest has approved the exorcism.

Then the shit gets better. Lorraine receives signs that her daughter could be in danger. Upon getting back home in time to save her daughter from a ghost, Lorraine and Ed are alerted that Carolyn has taken two of the kids. Her plans are to kill them.

In the midst of saving the children, Ed is forced to do an exorcism. He has not been trained for that life. He has only watched, but they are left with no other choice. Together the Warren's are able to get the evil spirit out of Carolyn and save the Perron family.

Immediately after everyone leaves the house, Ed gets a call that the exorcism of the house has been approved. He also takes a souvenir from the house to add to his collection of possessed collections. The end.

I liked this movie. Thank God no one died or I was about to start boycotting every paranormal movie. How do you say it's based on a true story, but kill everyone? I don't believe them, but I do believe The Conjuring was based on some strange happening.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Revising The Plans Because of A Man (Sunday Reflections)

With one question he made me rethink everything. How did I get to that point?

The future was looking brighter. I went to a brand new place this year and it was all paid for by me. The lovely expensive New York City showed me careers and a happiness I never knew existed. There were people out on the streets and making business connections just because they wanted to be there. They had made it. There were also people trying to make it like me. I wasn't alone.

I met like-minded people. I was surrounded by writers of all kinds. There were the political writers, the fashion writers, the authors, and those fascinated with everything entertainment. There were more, but it was overwhelming trying to connect with everyone. It was a dream come true to just be surrounded by all these people; especially since in the last couple years I had only been surrounded by people talking negative about my talent and goals. Oh, and it was fun.

I networked and then ran the streets of New York City. That restaurant Red Roosters will always have a special place in my heart, because they put shrimp inside grits. I didn't get to go to Museum of Sex, but I saw where it was located. I freely drank alcohol with no worries of getting in a car and driving drunk. If you didn't know, most of the time I'm running around everywhere alone. I didn't feel lonely even though I went by myself.

I had to come back, but there was still a natural high in my heart. There was a feeling that life does get better. Life is more than living paycheck to paycheck. Life is more than having to kiss ass everywhere I go. I don't always have to bow down to every man in fear that if I back off he'll put his hands on me. I don't have to party with other women just to say I do have friends. I'm a loner anyway. I don't have to put anyone else's feelings ahead of mine all the time. Lashuntrice bruises and bleeds too. I don't have to wait on everyone else. The phone works both ways. Wait..

I was riding on that natural high. Even in moments of being knocked down, I just reminded myself it's not always going to be this way. One day I'll be in the position of choosing to knock someone else down. I'll be in the position of whether to remind someone that they are not always good enough. I'll be in the position of not acknowledging what that other person really wants. Wait..

Years ago I wrote two different poems about being the other woman. Those poems were written based on the feelings of someone else. At least, it was how I interpreted the words that girl told me. I had never experienced being the side chick. At that point in my life, I was always trying to make sure I was so unique no one would ever push me to the side. They'd be forced to put me first and make me the only important person in their life.

However, weeks ago the one man I thought would eventually forget about me made his very disrespectful request. He wanted to see me for sex, but on his Facebook for the last two months his relationship status with whoever she is was out there for all eyes to see. This means he was trying to turn me into a side chick.

After all my efforts to get away from men who only want sex, after all my efforts to work harder at my passion, and after all these efforts to make life better for me he could see nothing but a sex object. I started to rethink everything.

I'm one of those women that take how men approach me and compare it to every other part of my life. I start to think of how corporate America looks at me, how my family look at me, and how strangers on the street treat me.

Am I just someone everyone keeps to the side for emergencies because they know they can use me? I must be easily used for a taken man to request anything from me. I don't mess with other people's relationships, so why would anyone think that I'd want to do it? Is my dominant voice not loud enough? How much more do I have to scream what I want to happen? I don't want to be taken advantage of in any area of my life.

I'm rethinking everything now. Maybe this isn't about him. Maybe it's the fact that 30 is closer to 3 years away instead of 4. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that a year from now I'll be in the same damn place with nothing done to better myself. Maybe I just think too damn much, but you get the point.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Once You Start Dating Rappers...You Don't Turn Back

Reality television star Shay Johnson has finally moved on from rapper Lil Scrappy. Now she's fallen in love with another man, also a rapper. This brings me to the conclusion that once you start dating rappers, there is no turning back.
Shay and Jody Breeze Via Rolling Out

Just think about it. We were introduced to Shay on Flavor of Love when she competed for Flavor Flav's love. At the time she was nicknamed Buckeey for her wild antics. Flavor Flav picked other women over Shay, but she didn't give up on finding love from a rapper. Oh, and money has never been an issue, because years later Shay would pop up as a good friend to another rapper lacking money.

That is Lil Scrappy and they appeared together friends on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. Shay started with the friend titled and quickly became a side chick. She wanted Scrappy that bad. We can all tell his rap career is practically dead, which means just about all his money is coming from reality television now. That didn't stop Shay from getting in the middle of a messed up relationship and even help badmouth Scrappy's baby mama Erica Dixon. However, as we all saw on reality television, Shay and Scrappy didn't last. Then it was on to the next rapper.
Shay's new boo is rapper Jody Breeze, also a member of group Boyz N Da Hood. If you're trying to figure out who he is, don't stress. Jody Breeze has never been a main stream rapper. In fact he released one album in 2005 titled A Day In The Life of Jody Breeze, but it was not sold in stores.  Oh, but he's back with new music this year, including a song called Street Nigga. Interesting.

I hope her and her new boo work out, cause rappers have turned her out. Let this be a lesson for the rest of us women. If we start dating rappers, it's over for all other men.

K. Michelle~ I Don't Like Me Music Video

K. Michelle is singing for us women with bruised hearts from some man and we need a wake up call to get our lives back together in her new song I Don't Like Me.

In her latest video K. Michelle sings about how she doesn't like herself because the man she's been having sex with is treating her wrong. He's only using her for one thing, sex. Listen, maybe she's not talking about herself. Maybe she's talking about me.

The last man I was with had me really confused, so I've refocused and have been alone for several months now. However, this song and video I Don't Like me stirs something deep inside that all of us women that have been in this situation will understand. Watch the music video below.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Juror B37 Will Not Write A Zimmerman Trial Book

Via NY Daily News 
The lighter the skin tone, the harder it is for a person to recognize that racism is still alive. Why? It just doesn't affect that person. One huge example is Juror B37 of the Zimmerman trial.

Once the verdict was announced last Saturday, George Zimmerman became a free man. The jurors also were able to return to their normal everyday lives. However, one juror decided she would speak out. Not only would she speak out, but she would try to get a book deal on top of it. That juror is Juror B37.  Her real name is kept out of the public eye for protective purposes.

She did get a book deal with Martin Literary Management. On top of the book deal she spoke on Anderson Cooper Live. In the interview she said a whole lot that was definitely racist. For instance, she didn't think Rachel Jeantel was a credible witness. She also thought Zimmerman was doing the right thing by stalking Trayvon Martin before killing him. She also viewed Trayvon and his friend Rachel Jeantel as thugs, which is obviously what Mark O'Mara, Zimmerman's attorney, wanted to happen.

Every word that came out of this juror's mouth as her face was hidden was a disgrace to the whole situation. She obviously did not realize she had let a killer walked free. Well, she did realize that later after her book deal was taken away from her.

The book deal wasn't just taken away. A person on twitter trolled Sharlene Martin and had others help to get the book deal taken away. They sent lots of messages to her twitter, email, and even business phone to get the point across. It worked.

Juror B37 also came to a realization of what kind of history she was apart of. After her appearance on Anderson Cooper's show and losing the book deal, she wrote the following.

"I realize it was necessary for a jury to be sequestered in order to protest our verdict from unfair outside influence, but that isolation shielded me from the depth of pain that exists among the general public over every aspect of this case. The potential book was always intended to be a respectful observation from my and my husband's perspectives solely and it was to be an observation that our system of justice can get so complicated that it creates a conflict with our spirit of justice. Now that I am returned to my family and society in general, I have realized that the best direction for me is to go away from writing any sort of book and return instead to my life as it was before I was called to sit on this jury." Via Twitter 

Do you think Juror B37 has now realized the depth of this trial? Do you think she understands an innocent life was taken and a murder walked free? I think she's just upset she didn't get the chance to make some extra money.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Devious Maids (I Think I'm In The Wrong Career Field)

Via Lifetime 
Rich unhappy people, adultery, murder, gossip... who knew being a maid was so exciting? There's a new original series on Lifetime called Devious Maids and it makes me think I might be trying to get into the wrong career field. Why? The juiciness is totally delicious.

Devious Maids started out with the murder of a maid named Flora Hernandez, played by Paula Garces. The maid gets stabbed, stumbles into a crowded party the house owners are throwing, and lands in the middle of their pool. As this happens another worker, a man, stumbles out with a knife. Everyone is shocked, but even more, the woman of the house is upset because there's no one to clean up to mess. Her maid was just stabbed to death after all. A new maid is soon hired, but there is something about this new maid no one knows. She also works for the police department. This is where everything gets more interesting.

Marisol Duarte, played by Ana Ortiz, is the undercover cop posing as a maid. Then again Marisol could also just be a mother going under cover for the police. The man that was possibly framed in the dead maid's murder is her son. In the midst of trying to find out what happened to the dead maid she has discovered some secrets that is leading to more questions. One is that the dead maid Flora was pregnant, but in the final autopsy report, there is no evidence of the woman being pregnant. Also, she found out that Flora was having an affair with the husband of the house and always planned to get impregnated by someone rich. I have a wish to carry a rich man's child too. However, I think the case is to find out who killed this maid. The man with the knife was supposedly framed.

Then there is Evelyn Powell, played by Rebecca Wisocky. Evelyn is one of the elite women of Beverly Hills and is married to Adrian. She's also great at keeping secrets, like the secret of who killed her maid Flora. All Evelyn cared about was who was going to clean up the blood in her pool.

Oh, but my favorite character is Rosie Falta, played by Dania Ramirez. Rose is the maid with a halo on her head. That is until she kisses (and possibly does more) with her boss Spence Westmore, played by Grant Snow. He runs into her arms after hearing his wife talk badly about his acting skills and she doesn't push back. Ooh!

There are a lot more characters, but these are the ones that have brought the most entertainment to me so far. I'm loving this show and really thinking I'm going down the wrong career path possibly. Is being a maid really that juicy? I live for entertainment. Have you been watching too?

Sunday, July 14, 2013

George Zimmerman Not Guilty, I'll Keep Living (Sunday Reflections)

Over the last year and a half everyone has been awaiting the trial and then verdict for George Zimmerman's murder case. It all started on a rainy night when he shot and killed Trayvon Martin in his neighborhood. What led to this? No one knows.

What we do know is Trayvon was walking from the store with skittles and tea. Zimmerman called 911 alerting that there was someone strange in his neighborhood. Trayvon wasn't actually strange. He just had a hoodie on. However, Zimmerman did not listen to the 911 operator's request that he leave the situation alone. What happened next led to Trayvon's death and horrible police measures. The police later questioned Zimmerman on the killing, but never arrested him. They let him keep his gun too. Two months went by before Zimmerman was arrested and the case was taken away from the Sanford police to be handled by higher authority.

Because this was such a high profile case, picking a jury was tough. In the end Zimmerman's verdict was left in the hands of six women. Since there were no actual witnesses, all of the evidence was of what could have possibly took place the night Zimmerman killed Trayvon. One witness, Rachel Jeantel, just happened to be on the phone with Trayvon before the phone cut off and he was killed. The others lived in the area and heard screams.The general public already had their verdict, but the jury decided to go in the opposite direction. They said George Zimmerman was in the right for shooting Trayvon Martin. They said he was not guilty of any crime. Okay, there is a lot more to say but this is my short summary. Now that it is over, I will keep living.

My current work schedule is from 3pm to midnight. Every night upon getting off from work and heading home I hold my breath. My apartment complex looks like a scary movie at night. It's silent. There are trees. There are dark pathways depending on how close to my door I can park. Every once in a while there's a strange person lurking in the shadows, or getting out of their car too, or even standing in plain sight looking lost.

I'm a short black woman with an Afro. 4'10 is my height to be exact. I love loud colored clothing and colorful make-up. I stand out like a sore thumb, or a pretty face in the crowd. I've never been in a fight, so I don't know if I'd be capable of defending myself if someone were to attack me. I should be changing my profile picture to black, or a hoodie, or even be ready to march like everyone else. Instead I'm sitting my in living room thinking of future plans.

How much laundry can I get done tomorrow before Oprah's Life Class? It's the Fatherless daughters edition. Should I go eat out and do laundry? Lunch and dinner dates by myself have become a new happy norm. How can I save up enough money to leave Houston again? Leaving Houston makes me feel alive. Will I ever get married and have a child? Hmm..

Why am I doing this? I have to keep living. The majority of us were born into a world that others influenced us to fear. There is the local news that starts off with the top crime stories of the day. There is a George Zimmerman everywhere, whether he is convicted or not. We're taught to watch our backs because we never know when white privilege will strike. There is also black on black crime. Then there are also just generally crazy people all around us. See, that is so much fear, which is why I choose to live.

I have to wake up each day and put a smile on my face. I have to chase my dreams so I can be happy. I have to fulfill goals in order to make a change for myself. So I'm not going to let this case hold my back, or take my hope for better things to come. Instead, I'm going to continue to live.

P.S. Trayvon Martin's life has been lost in this huge case, but we should not stop our lives. Keep striving for better. Make changes. Do something progressive.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

2013 Sexy Men~ Justin Deeley

There is a sexy man gracing Lifetime network and his name is Justin Deeley.

Justin Deeley is a 90210 actor, underwear model, and the newest member to the cast of Drop Dead Diva. His role is to be an angel who enjoys walking around half naked. Remember the angel Fred? Well, Fred is gone and Deeley's character, Paul, is replacing him.

I don't have much to say about Deeley except I'm looking forward to his presence on the show. I'm also looking forward seeing him shirtless more. 

The Heat~ Movie Review

Not My Photo 
"I don't want you to get chopped up into little mother effing pieces."- FBI detective Sarah Ashburn tells a suspect she's trying to get information out of to catch the actual killer during interrogation in The Heat.

"Has anyone seen the captain's ball?"- Detective Shannon Mullins screams through the police department at everyone after she finds out the FBI has taken over her investigation. 

The Heat is about two control freak women cops, played by Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, who join forces to take down a drug lord. It all starts when FBI detective Ashburn wants a huge promotion, but finds out no one in the office respects her. In order to get the promotion her boss sends her to capture the drug lord. 

Detective Shannon Mullins, on the other hand, does not respect anyone. She is so mean that her boss lets her do whatever she wants. Her boss even complains that the job has aged him. He looks 60, but is 43. He has a 5 year old that calls him gran-dad. Although he's funny, Mullins is even more hilarious. She's so funny that everyone in the department laughs at her.That is everyone, except Ashburn. 

Together Mullins and Ashburn get the job done and show everyone why they're great cops. They leave their audience in tears of laughter. From their encounter with suspects such as Spoken Reasons, who played a drug dealer on the street, to meeting an Albino detective who came across as a creep in the club. 

The Heat also showcased a growing friendship. These two women did not like each other in the beginning, but they grew and look at each other as sisters in the end. 

The Heat was excellent. It will definitely be added to my movie collection. 

P.S. And I thought nothing in 2013 could be funnier than Kevin Hart's Let Me Explain

Yes, I'll Be The "Available" Friend

I Want This Shirt 
Someone has to be there. Everyone can't always be busy. Someone has to be that friend you can always run to. Someone has to be that friend you need to go for a drink with. Someone has to be the one you can spill your problems to face to face. So I guess I'll be that "available" friend.

It was my day off. At midnight, the moment I got off from work, I contemplated how I would spend it. It's been a while since anyone has regularly called me to hang out for girl time. It's been a while since I've dealt with man problems. I used to call up people to hang out with when I got lonely. I started hearing "I'm busy" so much that I became afraid to ask.

Seriously, I'm afraid to ask for company out now. I instead wait for someone else to ask. Who knows how long that will take? For one friend it took months to realize she had not talked to me in a while. This was mainly because she was playing house with her boyfriend.

Last Saturday she called me up actually. I didn't have her number in my phone anyway. I accidentally deleted all the contacts from my phone during upgrading, was able to save them to the computer, but it took too much effort to add every last number back into the phone. This happened back in May and now it's July.

Anyway, she wanted to go for drinks and I told her after work. Someone has to be the available friend, right? I brushed off the fact that it had been months since we hadn't heard from each other. The hard part was trying to get her caught up in my life. Upon her asking, I went the route of pretending nothing's happened. I was tired, but I was shocked. Someone in the city of Houston wanted to hang with me for a little. WOW!

The gist of her conversation involved talking about how great things were going, how her boyfriend had just started making more money, and how life was changing for the better. Fast forward to a couple days later.

I had laundry to do. I woke up around 1pm and two hours later was finally realizing I needed to go eat something. Hunger started kicking my ass. It was my day off. Even though I don't ask people to hang with me anymore, or after the first request is thrown out, I still force myself to go out and have some fun. Hah!

Instead of fun, I ended up trying to nurse my friend's feelings. The minute I pulled in the parking lot to eat, she called me crying. She gave me no option but to turn around and head home. She said she was about to drive to my house. She had called into work sick. Why you ask? Her boyfriend broke up with her.

Now I'm horrible with emotions. I can be extremely happy, extremely sad, mad, kick, and scream all over the place. However, you will rarely ever see me shed a tear. In fact, in my 20's I've only cried in front of someone once and I was ashamed then. So what the Hell was I going to do for her feelings?

Tell her that her now ex-boyfriend she shares an apartment with is an asshole? Tell her we need to drink this situation away? Look for something fun to do to distract us from this disastrous occurrence? Cry with her?

I didn't know what to do. I didn't really know what to say. I said all I could say when she first hooked up with him and started splitting rent with him before she even lived in the apartment. I saw it all coming. Thankfully, she had another friend who said all the comforting words.

So I was able to just be the available friend. I hope no one starts taking advantage of my availableness.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Hollywood Exes Describes Rich Women Problems

not my photo
Hollywood Exes had it's season two premiere yesterday and it was definitely no Love and Hip Hop Atlanta. There was no ratchetness, no apartment living, no nice houses deprived of furniture, and definitely no pawning of engagement rings, and no arguing with exes. Instead we saw rich women issues. 

"How so?" you ask. Well, Nicole Murphy (Eddie Murphy ex-wife) showed off the Beverly Hills mansion she was in the process of building. I have to google to see if it's done already. She bragged about being with Michael Strahan and getting to travel between New York and California. Can you do that with no worries? Oh, and she show-cased her beauty. I'm jealous of Nicole's beauty. Plus she talked about how Michael gave her a black card. Do you understand what a black card is? It has an unlimited amount of credit. 

Then there was Jessica Conseco (ex-wife of Jose Conseco). Her first appearance on season two was of her buying up all the jewelry she could get her hands on. She said it was for her daughter, but she was grabbing some for herself too. Can you go into a jewelry store and just grab? I know I can't. Maybe I just haven't rubbed on the right genie yet. Oh, and let's not forget on this first episode we saw her and Jose buy their daughter a nice expensive car. In one of the confessionals Jessica said buying the car will help make up for time Jose didn't spend with her daughter. That's rich people code for spend money to make up for not being there. 

Mayte Garcia, prince's ex-wife may have been dealing with an issue that some of use women with less money can relate too. That's having a child to call her own. However, her problem wasn't the one that us young women go through. Hers related to the older crowd struggle with trying to have a child at the last minute. Mayte was talking about adopting. Now some of us are afraid to bring children in the world right now, but don't have financials to provide for other lives. Mayte, on the other hand, was showcasing how badly she wants to take care of another life. Wait, this is where it becomes a rich woman's issue. 

In the process of the adoption Mayte was able to meet the mother of the child she wanted to adopt. This means they were not going through the system's process. This was strictly a private adoption with money being given in exchange for a child. The middle man was cut out totally. Oh, and Mayte's mom would rather her go to a sperm clinic than do the adoption. In my community, we're trying to stop women from having babies with community dick. 

I'm not quite sure what life Sheree Fletcher (ex-wife of Will Smith) is living, but it is not the poor woman's life. While shopping with some of the other women she admitted no man has ever handed her a credit card. No man has ever given me his credit card either. We have something in common. It is clear Sheree is not hurting for money. We've seen at least one of her business ventures fail, but she didn't have any worries. Remember the Whoop-Ash hair products? Yeah, she ain't talking about it either. Plus she and her husband live in California and she travels to Los Angeles to hang with the other women. Cali is an expensive place. 

Now of all the women Andrea Kelly seems to stand out from the crowd the most. She is a dancer, down to earth, fun, but knows her age and will not tolerate mess. Andrea also knows the life of the less fortunate and is not tricking out like the rest of the women. Although I'm sure she could if she wanted to. 

Finally there is Shamicka Lawrence and Daphne Wayans. Shamicka was not talked about in this season two premiere of Hollywood Exes. However, from the looks of Vh1's description of her, Shamicka will be a poster woman for Lupus. Only rich people that we've never heard of can become representatives for any and every issue that touches our lives. Daphne, on the other hand, was introduced during Mayte's adoption announcement. Daphne is definitely not hurting for any kind of money. 

See, this is all rich people issues. I don't understand, but I'll keep watching. Are you watching too? 

Someone's Child (Poem)

This is the third and last poem in a series of poems I wrote about how a woman wants a child, but ends up giving the child up for reasons. Well, at least this third one is about going through the birthing process, but choosing adoption over keeping the child. All three poems will be posted on my Facebook together in one post soon. In the mean time enjoy Someone's Child

Via A Friend's Instagram

Someone’s Child
Sometimes I imagine what she’d be like
Would she have hair like me?
Tough enough to break a comb
Hours to create a style
But point some leave-in conditioner on it
Or oil that hair heavily
And the process would not be a problem
And what kind of clothes would she like
Would her style be like mines?
Meaning she’d throw anything on
Or would she have an organized wardrobe
Nothing but girly stuff for a pretty girl
Or would she be a tomboy
Hiding behind baggy clothes
Always staying silent
Never letting anyone into her world
But alas I wouldn’t know
On that day I decided I couldn’t handle her
The responsibility was too much
So right after giving birth
I opted not to hold her
And just gave her up

Baby Cravings (Poem)

Yesterday I started a series of poems about wanting a baby, but the situations women go through because they don't think they can handle the responsibility of a child. The first poem was called Unprotected, but the second one goes a little more in-depth. This one is called Baby Cravings. Enjoy! 

Baby Cravings

The sex was sub-par
But I wasn’t trying to give him my heart
It was the baby that I wanted
Maybe a little girl
Or even a boy
Someone to share my love with
Buy clothes and food for
A child that would look up to me
And need me
I wouldn’t even react after getting puked on
Or having to change diapers
Or hearing my name called over and over again
I’d cook for it
And clean up after it
I’d be the provider
And the child wouldn’t reject me
18 years to life
I’d be a mom
I’d be happy to take the good
And deal with the bad
But then I look at my bank account
And can barely afford myself
What kind of mom would I be?
Barely paying bills
And barely affording food
Someone would suffer
And I wouldn’t want it to be the baby
So at 3 months I take the risk
Get the abortion
And shed a tear for the child that didn’t have a chance to exist