Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Pet Peeves- LOVE

Before I start, let me get this out of the way. I purposely choose to have pet peeves that cannot be avoided. Listing these unavoidable pet peeves helps me understand what I can handle in my (crazy) life and most importantly helps me realize what I have to deal with.

Now my latest pet peeve is...

And not just any type of love. It's the grown-up kind.

The kind that has you feeling:
*like doing a dinner and movie date
*in the mood to cuddle
*just staring at your phone as if the person is about to call
*Calling the person just because
*Missing the person
*Staying up thinking about them all night
*Studying them for more understanding
and all that other stuff (I think I have a pet peeve for mushy feelings but that's another post)

Well, the only reason Love (this kind) is a pet peeve is because I'm single.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

School Lessons- Hide And Seek

Life is like...
a game of hide and seek.

The only difference is you are playing both roles at the same time.

Mirror Mirror

Sometimes I confuse reality with my dreams. Sometimes I wish my dreams were my reality. The one question I've never had the answer to is...
how to make those dreams become reality.

This next song of the week expresses my emotions better than I can ever express them.

Mirror Mirror by Kelly Price

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

If You Love Me

Today I turned in a poem to workshop in my poetry class. One thing I've learned about myself this semester is...
I don't like for people to tell me how to write my poems.

Unfortunately this teacher had a problem with it. She thought it was too abstract. Well, I don't see any problem with the poem. In fact, I think anyone reading this blog now should take a look and just for themselves. Here it goes.

I was dreaming while our friendship was disappearing.
Lost in happy moments, your hate I could not see.
I was dreaming while you were scheming,

Trying to find a way to abandon a never ending friendship.
You never cared about my feelings:
Only pretended to like me

Like everyone else you thought the worst.
Didn't think about anyone else,
Just wanted to quench your thirst,

Left silence, emptiness, hate
You broke the pact.


You broke the pact.
Left silence, emptiness, hate:

Just wanted to quench your thirst.
Didn't think about anyone else.
Like everyone else you thought the worst.

Only pretended to like me;
You never cared about my feelings.
Trying the find a way to abandon a never ending friendship,

I was dreaming while you were scheming.
Lost in happy moments your hate I could not see.
I was dreaming while our friendship was disappearing.

Honestly if anyone needs more details than that, just grab a camera and follow me around.

The song of the week is:
If You Love Me by Brownstone

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Breathe Again

Last week I was a little busy and could not post up the song of the week on Sunday, so now I am changing the day I put up the song of the week.

However, I still want to put up a song.

Tony Braxton Breathe Again

Unsent Letter

I wrote him
A letter
Careful And Hard
What I would
Tell him
Didn’t want to
Come on
Too strong
Didn’t want to
Scare him
So for a while
I just stared
At the paper
Hoping the words
Would just jump
Out of
My brain
Express my emotions
In such
A perfect way
Until finally
My fingers
Decided to
Pick up
A pen
And just
Caress that paper

Yesterday I
Wrote him
A letter
Was scared
At first
Feared he didn’t
Want to hear
What was
On my mind
But as I
Touched the paper
With a
Smooth moving pen
My worries
Were erased
I spilled
My guts
Wrote about
When we
First got to
Each other
I think
We were supposed
To Be
But who really
Needs notes
When concentrating on
A love connection

I wrote
Him a letter
Started off with
My initial perception
Of him
He was
Didn’t see him
As a boy
Yeah, to me
He was a
Couldn’t do no
He had me
Wide open
With the
Phone calls
That unfortunately led
To emotional
Sexual desires
How every time
I saw him
Felt like
My heart
Was on fire
Like a moth
To a flame
I was burned

I wrote him
A letter
Tried to explain
How it was
My fault
We ended up
This way
Maybe the invitation
To come over
Too much
Or telling him
To hush
Keep it a
Didn’t really
Mean it
Was just scared
Didn’t want to
Anyone’s opinion
But even
Hid from him
When he hurt
My feelings
Thought it
Didn’t matter
Cause I was
Never his
No claim
No fate

I wrote him
A letter
Explained to him
How I was
And his
Physical touch
Wipe away
My emotional pain
Thought all I had
To do
Was cry while
The rain wiped
My tears
Then everything would
Be clear
And I could
Be with him
Consumed with
Too much hurt
Had to
Let him go

I wrote him
A letter
Explained how it
Wasn’t easy
My Brain
I’m trying to
Move on
In Me
Still longs for him
Because my feelings
Go too deep
The letter
He didn’t receive

This is for every girl out there that is still holding on to the memory of what once was.

School Lessons- Kids Do The Darndest Things

There was a show when I was little about little children doing the craziest things. It was entertaining.

However, lately it has been brought to my attention that kids are doing some things that are far from entertaining. Actually they are nearly SCARY...

*There's a video on youtube (I didn't watch it) about a baby who is trying to have sex with grown woman.
(Okay, that is clearly the parents fault)


*There was a story on CNN this week about a teen who was set on fire by some boys because he snitched and told his parents they were trying to steal some of the parents stuff. He's now fighting for his life in the hospital.
(What happened to fist fights and black eyes?)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Cause I Love You

It has taken me a few days, but earlier today I thought of the song of the week.

This thought came on because of a facebook status. In the status a male wanted to know why females like to be called queens and princesses.

Being a female, this seems very simple. It's because we want to know that we are special. We don't want to be treated like everyone else. We want to be referenced like we are more than an acquaintance and not just a friend.

Lenny Williams knows what I'm talking about...

That why Cause I Love You by Lenny Williams is the song of the week.


Seems like everyday I'm being reminded that someone might not like what I say...

I'm also reminded that I can't say everything that is on my mind...

Yeah, my freedom is limited...

And if I do say what is on my mind it can effect me for the rest of my life...

Fortunately there are people to remind me and everyone else that it is okay to practice freedom of speech...
Last night MoNique from The MoNique Show did just that.

She was telling Queen Latifah and the audience about a moment she said something in front of her grandmother (who has since past.) After saying it she felt like she had disrespected her grandmother so she started to apologize. She then stated that her grandmother stopped her and said...

Sometimes you got to say that. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Death of Me

This poem is a poem I wrote for everyone.

I love people but,

People are gonna be the death of me
Everyone and their different personalities
Will one day drive me crazy
The happy
The talkative
The crybabies
All other kinds
Are gonna work my nerves
Until they explode
And send me into a pit of rage
Unlike no other
And it will happen so suddenly
I won’t be able
To explain my actions
Maybe it’s cause I’m too nice
Or too quiet
I keep too many things bottled in
Or maybe something totally different
I don’t know
But it will be such a scene
Doctors and nurses
Will be called to strap me down
And drug me up
Put me in a deep slumber
So when I wake up four walls
Is all I will see
And then the rest of my days
I will find myself alone
But the personalities
Of all
These damn people
For All these damn years
Will be stuck in my head
And have me so far gone
That people and all their personalities
Will still manage to be
The death of me

(This was already on my facebook profile so I decided to add it here)

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Single- (Poem dedicated to the single life)

I wrote this poem a few days ago. It's all about my feelings toward being single. Well some of the words were placed in the poem to make it sound better.

I’m 22
Turning 23
And I’m

I’m 22
Turning 23
And I’m
Plus it’s that time of year again
Where the winds come out of nowhere
And the air starts to get chilly
And no jacket seems to keep me warm enough
And there aren’t enough covers in the world to throw on my bed
And I start realizing what I’m missing is a…

I’m 22
Turning 23
And I’m
And I’m constantly being reminded that it’s cuddle season
Apparently it’s time to go out and find every man and any man that would be willing to wrap his arms around me
After all it’ll take more than just me to keep this nice body warm
So I search and I search
And what I find is
Drug Addicts and drug dealers
Shy niggas and some fly niggas
But all the ho’s got they attention
Then I meet
Stalkers and serial killers
And then comes the God fearing
But they so into God that to them I’m invisible
So, I’m still single

I’m 22
Turning 23
And I’m
Plus it’s that time of year again
You know
Boyfriend Season
And it’s becoming more apparent that all of my female friends have boyfriends
From the cutesy texts they send to me about what their man is doing for them
To the petty arguments they tell me I’m lucky to be avoiding
And to me being the 3rd, 5th, or 7th wheel
While all the couples hug, kiss, and cuddle
And remind me that…

I’m 22
Turning 23
And I’m single
And a while ago I started pondering the idea of being a nun
Meaning dressing up in outfits that cover my body for the rest of my life
Plus no more cakin’
Late night phone calls
And no one night stands
No potential boyfriends
Or husbands
No thoughts of ever having kids
No playing house
Meaning giving up the thought of ever meeting a man and falling happily ever after in love
Meaning every year
On every birthday
Reminding myself
That I’m still single
But at least I’ll have God
But of course that won’t work for me

I’m 22
Turning 23
And I’m pondering the thought of one day being in a relationship
Having a man by my side
To love me and cherish me
And of course I’ll do the same for him
And it won’t be playing house
It’ll be a home
Filled with warmth and security
And best of all love
Yeah, he’ll be the love of my life
But until then
I’m single
And I keep asking God
Where is my man
But I’m not hearing his response
And I’m not being sent any signs
And I’m starting to wonder if God thinks I’m impatient
Cause I’m tired of waiting
Should I wait for him
Or go out and find my perfect man
Put destiny in my own hands
Cause I don’t want to be here
Turning 23
And Single
And I don’t want to be reminded in the coming years
That I’m getting older

Sunday, October 4, 2009


When we are little we are given instructions on who it is okay to communicate with and who to stay away from. These instructions are given to us as kids to help protect us from dangerous situations, but as we get older meeting potentially dangerous/crazy people becomes unavoidable. That brings me to my school lesson of the week...
Crazy People Are Everywhere

A few places they are located at are:

*Your job
There's at least one crazy person at your job. If they have not already talked to you they are waiting for the right time to open the lines of communication.

*In your classroom (if you are a student or teacher)
While most people are focused on leaving the class as soon as it ends they are waiting for that chance to communicate with you.

*At your local grocery store
They are either on the same aisle as you or they are that clerk that is checking out your items. They are thinking about you and they are waiting for the moment to say something to you.

*Outside your house
This is why we are told not to talk to strangers when we are little.

The worst part is trying to figure out how to deal with crazy people. I haven't figured out how that part out yet, but music does help me to avoid thinking about this issue.

That is why the song of the week is
I Need by Kandi
(I chose a song by Kandi because she is grieving for the loss of her ex-fiance AJ. She has to deal with his death because some crazy person took a fight too far.)