Monday, September 15, 2014

#FixMyLife Camille Daniels Gives Her Thoughts On The Man With 34 Children

Iyanla  Vanzant's new season of Fix My Life makes you question who you let inside your vagina even harder. I know it's not just me. The season has started off with a man, Jay Williams, with 17 baby mamas. Since there is enough material to blog about this man for the rest of the year, I decided to give others the spotlight to express their opinions. 

The first episode addressed Jay's upbringing. It revealed what kind of parents he had and how they could have possibly led him to create his current disastrous life. While abuse was thrown around a lot, Jay said he loved every woman that he created a child with. A writer and former classmate, Reginald Alceus, agreed to answer several questions pertaining to decisions he would make in finding love and how a man could possibly love 17 women. His explanation is pretty good.

For part two, which featured some of the mothers of Jay's children and a couple of the children, an aspiring journalist by the name of Camille Daniels agreed to answer some questions. The following are her opinions. 

If a man charmed you so much that you gave him a kid and then found out he was lying to you about being with other women, what kind of words would he say to you for you to keep giving him kids?

Well, I don’t want children and I fear the day I ever get pregnant. However, if I did get pregnant and decided to raise my child I would accept my responsibility. There’s nothing a man could say that I could let myself do that again. Children don’t ask to be here so why I wouldn’t allow myself to be ok with bringing more children into the world with him? I already have one connection. Why expand that connection? He isn’t worthy of that connection. He’s proven that.

Let’s say you meet a man and he has kids. How many kids are too many kids for you to start dating him?

I think the max would be three. Since I know a real man will always choose his kids over the girl anyway because that’s what a good father does, anything over 0 is too high for me lol. But yeah, anything after 3 feels like a lot. Technically over 5 actually.

Jay Williams reached out to Iyanla Vanzant to help him fix his life of having 17 baby mamas, 34 biological kids, and 9 adopted kids. Do you think it is possible to fix a situation like that?

It can only be successful if the people involved are really ready to do the work and go to the heart of the pain, and also to continue to do the work after the time with Ms. Vanzant has gone. She can’t save you. She can only help you. You have to help yourself to heal.

One of the 17 baby mamas said every woman man-shares. Do you know of women sharing men? Have you ever shared a man with another woman?

Technically we all do man share. What was once yours is now someone else’s or vice versa. Basically when you date and break up or even marry and break up there’s a lot of sharing going on; especially, sexually. But I wouldn’t voluntarily share someone if I had the choice. But as long as you remember your experience with that person is different than what was had in the past with someone else then you should be okay.

Iyanla told the women that they were judging each other and not giving Jay any credit for the mess he created. Do you think as women we tend to attack each other instead of the men causing our problems? Why?

Yes, because it’s natural. I think amongst women especially, there’s like this unofficial girl code, so when someone violates it, especially an actual friend you know, it hurts. We know men are stupid. We just expect the women to do better.

 Some of the children agreed to meet with Jay on camera. Could you be brave enough to reveal to the world that your father is a man who has been so irresponsible with his life?

No, I don’t think I could, unless I believed it would help someone else. Otherwise I think it’s best to dealt with in private cause that’s where the real work is waiting to be done.

One of the moms  admitted her son has never known who his father is. Would you want to know if Jay was your father?

I think so. At the end of the day, that man is part of who you are, so yes. If I know I can still naturally love you because you’re my parent and I respect you as a person, then yes I want to know you for many reasons, for life lessons, medical and etc.

All of Jay’s older kids that were on the show agreed that it is disgusting being the child of a man with 34 children. Knowing that an overwhelming majority of the men of your generation have a high sex count list, do you find it disgusting? What do you think of Jay Williams?

If you have a high sex count, you have a high sex count. That to me is not the problem as long as you use protection and get tested often. The problem is that you find it ok to have the amount of children that can be found in a New York City public school classroom. He either needs to become a Mormon and become a polygamist or he needs to get a vasectomy, or do both because that’s not right and it’s not healthy. He’s clearly hurting and so are the mothers and all the children. And it’s just sad. This is an example of what it means to be hurt and how you pass it on and attract others who are also clearly hurt.

There is still one more episode left with Jay. The best thing for Iyanla and the others to do is say it was all a prank, like Ashton Kutcher would do. They should all confess to being actors. However, this is real life and one thing the preview reveals is this situation cannot be fixed unless a time machine is invented. 

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