Thursday, August 1, 2013

Can A Woman Set The Standards In A Relationship?

Men set the standards for how a relationship is going to go. Usually, us woman agree and then try to change up what we don't like about the rules. So can a woman, set the standards for the relationship?

Starting today there's a writing challenge going on called #31WriteNow. It involves writing a post a day for the month of August. In the midst of full time working, goal digging, and planning to move into a new apartment I'm taking the challenge. So this is the first post.

See, as women we face so many changes throughout our lives and just have to go with the flow. As children, when our bodies start to grow we go with the flow. The means accepting bigger breasts, hips, and an annoying period that we cannot control. When the boys stop ignoring us and start noticing us, we have to deal. That's mostly because our hormones are changing too and we're noticing the boys. Plus, whatever our parents say do, we have to go along with it. As children we have no voice.

At the very precious age of 18 the world gives both us women and men a voice. We're thrown responsibilities we never had to think about before. Credit cards start flying our way. Choices of apartments to live in fly around. Options of whether to attend school more or go straight to work is tossed in our faces. Half of us are not even mature enough to make those decisions at the particular time, but it has to be done.

Now as a woman if a man doesn't sweep us off of our feet at the earliest of ages, we learn to do everything alone. We figure out the bills on our own. We figure out how to build household items because there's no testosterone to do it. We figure out how to change a tire, or who to pay to change a tire. We take ourselves on date and teach ourselves exactly what we need to be happy and content in our our skin. Or is that just me?

See, I like to compare how I operate with men to how much control I have in other areas of my life. As a single woman, I'm developing as much control I can in every aspect of my life. However, lately I've realized when it comes to relationships men make the rules.

When it comes to dating, relationships, and even marriage men set the standards. Men decide whether we're going to be a main chick in their lives, a side chick, or the only woman. A man decides how much of the bills he wants his woman to help him with, how much they are going to date, and how much time he has for her. Men are the ones who decide whether or not the texts are important enough to answer back, or the calls are important enough to respond to. We women just have to decide whether we're down or we're out the door. In fact, as women we're expected to take whatever we can get from a man. Although, after a certain period of time if we don't like the arrangement we try to change it.

Men have way too much power, which makes me wonder can a woman set the standards for a relationship? Can I express what I am looking for and he follow through? I'm not saying I want a man that is willing to settle and agree with anything. However, if I'm expected to agree with no-strings-attached from the beginning, he should be expected to agree with a monogamous relationship if I say it first.

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