See, I can't be in a relationship because my thought process is all screwed up. My parents keep reminding me that they've financially taken care of me throughout my whole life, which is driving me crazy cause I'm trying to figure out how to do it on my own now. They also keep reminding me of how grateful I should be, but it's confusing cause I'm trying to figure out how my 25-yr-old wants and dreams fit into the equation of being grateful. To make it worse I live in their house, so they keep driving me crazy by reminding me of their rules. That leaves little room for me to find a quiet place at home to think and meditate and write. Then on top of that all my best friends are far away. One best friend is married, one is single and learning to live his life in a new place, and another one is a success story that I'm taking notes from. Then there's work. After eight hours at work, I just want to be alone. To top it all off, I keep meeting men that are anti relationships. Wait, the anti relationship men actually work for me.
The anti-relationship men provide me with that sexual longing that I sometime forget that I have. Most of the time they are pro-cuddling, which intensely increases my sex drive in a way that I'll never be able to explain. This is actually why in the past I've been anti-cuddling. In an old post I actually talked about the cuddle monster. There's only one problem.
I've tried being a heaux when I was pro relationships. At least I thought I was pro relationships at the time. However, the guy wanted something different I half heartedly settled for the lesser title. That failed miserable and when I put my mind to it again I also failed. However, now that I'm all screwed up and definitely anti relationships, maybe heauxing will work out.
This is the second installment to my posts about heaux activities.
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