2012 Is The Year

No, it's not my year.

This year has a presidential election, an olympics, a million different conventions, and billions of other surprises for people that I haven't heard about yet. It'll definitely be Barack Obama's year because he's going to be re-elected. After all the republican candidate is going to be based on who doesn't drop out. It could be Jakadrien Turner's year. She's the now fifteen year old who lied and was accidentally deported to Columbia. At the moment Columbia has detained her since the truth is out, but if released she might have the chance to return back to the United States where her family is. It's definitely the year for all heauxs. Basketball is fully back, which means sideline chicks aren't wearing panties, and shows about housewives that are really divorced and dating are more popular than ever. Yeah, it's definitely the year for heauxs. However, it's not my year.

I'm tired of all this big planning. It seems as if year after year big plans are created just to watch them fail. For instance in 2010 I had this plans of living in Atlanta by 2011. That never happened. Instead I ended up back in Houston. In 2010 I also had plans of getting this perfect first job. That never happened either. My first job didn't come until 2011 and it was far from perfect for some folks. In 2010 I also made this big plan to have my own place by my 25th birthday in 2011. I was definitely dreaming too big. I had these plans that were supposed to come into fruition, but they never happened. Something went wrong and those moments weren't meant for me. So, 2012 must not be meant for me either.

I do have plans. They're not big at all. One definite plan involves going to Hawaii. My best friend has been wanting me to visit her there. The only problem with traveling is I'll have to return back to reality. Another involves finding some kind of networking opportunity to fit my dream lifestyle. Networking won't make it my year at all, but it will open a door or two towards a rewarding future. The biggest one that I've been mapping out in my mind is finding a place of my own.

2012 is that year that I get my own space hopefully. Actually I've been in Houston for practically a year and a half and the closet that was once mine is still filled with lots of junk that is not mine. I don't even care anymore. This shouldn't feel like home. It really doesn't feel like home. This is the time to start mapping out my own place to stay.

2012 is the year of simple for me. I'm tired of thinking big, so I just want a comfortable place to call my own. All it'll need is a bed, a small dresser, a tv, and a refrigerator, and a microwave. Those are all pretty simple necessities. From there once I'm settled I can build the place into something to really call my own. But for now I just want that small spot wherever it may be. Even if it's in Houston I can suck up the pain of familiarity and cry alone in a place that I'll pay rent.

I really just want something to change. Hopefully 2012 really will be that year. Not many people will understand how I feel, but I'm in my feelings today.