Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Blessings and Curse of Being A Strong Black Woman

Since I stepped foot on the campus of Florida A&M four years ago I've always wondered why are men so quick to want to fuck a girl, but not quick to give that girl the title of his girlfriend...I always wondered why men refuse to listen when a woman speaks her mind because don't these men really want to get to know the women they claim they like...
Then today I read this article posted by a friend on fb and always posted on Black men you really need to read this because you have to do better...


Why are black men so threatened by strong black women? What's even worse is that I find that some of the strongest men actually prefer a docile woman. Have black men become so mentally and spiritually weak that they no longer appreciate the worth of a strong black woman? Oh, and, I hate the cliché’s: 1. Black women have too much attitude. (The same attitude your mother gave you to put that fear in your heart about those slipping grades that got you through school) 2. Black women are too loud. (You never seem to mind it when we're busy sticking up for you.) 3. Black women are too bossy. (In this day in age, we'd rather give you a command than a suggestion, especially when we know your life is at stake. So, if I come across as bossy when I tell you that you should be applying for this job instead of that one because I know how brilliant you really are, or when I say you should eat this and not eat that because I want you to live far past the estimated age of black men, excuse me for loving you that much. I'm sorry.)

Let me remind everyone that black women are strong by nature. When our men were brutally killed and/or taken away, we led the household. But, not by choice. We've been force-fed this idea of superhuman strength for centuries. When our men marched, we marched. We our men were slain while fighting for justice, we picked up the torch, bounced the baby on our hips and carried on. No one will ever love a black man, like a black woman. It's a love that's deep-rooted in our souls; a kinship perfected over time. And, now we're being crucified for the very thing that shapes our identities as black women.

Danger: I'm about to make a bold statement. It's not that we're too strong, it's that many black men have become weak. Too many times, we women try to campaign our positive points instead of really pinpointing the underlying problem. Point blank truth: black men are not stepping up as leaders and our families are paying a detrimental price. Instead of protecting our honor and shielding us from becoming distorted images, they've demoted us to shawty, bitch, and ho'. Instead of re-affirming the essence of our natural beauty, they've gladly given the world the right to define us according to the cock-eyed standards they've embedded and capitalized on. Let's gather the opinion of our local video ho' ....."...." Oh, that's right. They don't actually speak.

I'm not generalizing all men. I whole-heartedly believe that many black men are good-natured at heart, but as much as we'd like our hearts to represent us, we all know that it's your choices and actions that do the talking. I do thank God for the real men...though you are outnumbered, you shine brighter than any diamond-encrusted crown swinging from the neck of an empty-headed fool. Let's not forget the intelligent, witty, successful fool. Or, the fist raised to the air Marcus Garvey quoting fool. They exist too.... Hiding in the flimsy shells of their egos, fearful that a woman might pose a challenge.

When are black men going to become worthy opponents instead of looking for an easy win?

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