Wednesday, May 10, 2017

#FixMyLife Iyanla And The Sisterly Bond

If you didn't grow up with your siblings, how bad do you want a relationship with them? If you grew up with them and didn't get along with all of them, are you going to want create a sisterly bond later on in life? Everyone's favorite show, Fix My Life featuring Life Coach Iyanla Vanzant, is back.

The first couple of episodes featured couples whose relationships desperately needed help. I'm not married and never have been, so all I could do was watch and take notes. However, the latest episode to air was a little more up my ally. It featured six sisters who desperately want to fix their bond. Well, some of them have no bond because they weren't all raised together. One of them was put up for adoption as an infant, but decided she wanted to be connected to her family. The root of their communication issues is their mom, who didn't raise them all. The mom had her own issues, but this is not about that. 

There were several issues with these sisters that came out throughout the episode. There was the sister who was put up for abortion so she didn't know the others. They clearly didn't have a bond with her at all, because she did a lot of crying and the only one to comfort her was Iyanla. Well, later on in the show Iyanla tells the mom to comfort her crying daughter. However, whether or not they know each other someone else should have been hugging on her since they were all seriously trying to get along. 

Then there was the issue of the arguments. Some of these sisters had real issues that could have easily been solved with agreeing to disagree. After all they wanted to get along. Instead they acted like enemies when they were mad at each other. 

So much could be pointed out from the way these sisters communicated, but the hugest issues were the sister who acted as their mom and the sister that was the peacemaker. Too much pressure was being put on them and the only one who recognized it was Iyanla. I guess this could be applied with how we approach everyone. We have to recognize when people are in pain and when we need to give people space. 
Above I asked if you didn't grow up with siblings, would you want to create a bond with them later on in life? I grew up with two brothers in a two parent household. Although my dad raised me as his own, I still have a biological dad that had other children. Outside of my two brothers, I have three sisters and one younger brother that I've never met. I'm connected to one of those sisters on Facebook, but haven't communicated with the other two in years. One of them lives with my biological dad who I stopped reaching out to and the other just didn't feel it was important to return my phone calls. If these siblings did want to get to know me and bond with me, I would let them. I would not deny them, but I can only do so much on my own. At the age of 30 if they felt no connection to me at all, felt no reason to need me in their lives, I would still be able to live a good life. 

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