Friday, November 6, 2015

I Forgot To Find My Husband At An HBCU Too

Forgive me for not updating regularly. I have a lot on my mind. A little bit of it involves getting a collection of poetry published in book format. They are poems about struggles with love and success. Some of the other thoughts involve being 29 years old and trying to figure out where the Hell my life is going.

For real! I'm 29, single, have been living on my own for a couple years, and feel fully acquainted to the struggle of having responsibilities. I've also become acquainted with that feeling of really enjoying my life, even if only for seconds in between long stretches of weeks and months, and the knowledge of what putting too many purchases on a credit card looks like.

However, there are some things that are missing. One is lots of money. Where is all the money I need to fulfill my heart's content? I have a half a year to start planning out the perfect 30th birthday celebration (that's how long I'll wait before I take it seriously) and so far I'm lacking the funds to really do it where I want it to happen. A woman named Lashuntrice can't do celebrations small forever.

What gets a person like me the type of money I need to really fulfill my desires? Where is that good career path? Does it go down a road that I really don't want to travel? Statistics show that most of us humans are working jobs that don't fulfill our passions. In the last couple of years I've tried to convince myself that passionate work probably isn't that important, but the truth is fulfilling my passions is the most important thing. I'm not a robot.

When it comes to dating I have felt sort of robot though. If one more man tells me that he's not an outgoing person, would rather just chill in the house, and expects me to go along with it, I'm going to scream. Yet at the same time I'm confused about this whole process of meeting a man, getting to know him well enough that we get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. How does it work?

For Buzzfeed, a popular writer by the name of Jamilah Lemieux wrote an article titled I Forgot To Find My Husband At A Black University. Upon reading it I found myself relating to several points.

While I didn't gain weight like Jamilah, I didn't see myself as the type of woman that men on Florida A&M's campus was attracted to. I didn't fit the image many of them repeatedly said they wanted. I wasn't the light skinned girl, the foreigner, or the one in a sorority, and I wasn't the most liked either. I had enemies that disliked me just to dislike me. I was the one that men expressed interest in but then struggled to take out of the "we're talking" stage. I was also very protective of my emotions because very few others had my back, so I really didn't like just throwing my interest for a particular guy on the table and waiting for the results.

Actually even with moments of lacking confidence and moments of just playing games with certain guys, I really did want to meet my husband at FAMU. I wanted to meet a man that I could grow with. We would both grow in our careers and be able to share new experiences for years to come. We were supposed to have our baby by now and our comfortable house wherever the wind was supposed to take us.

My love life isn't what I imagined it would be at this point. My confidence level has changed a lot since those days of running around FAMU's campus and sometimes FSU's campus too. I do believe I'm the type that a man should be choosing to spend forever with. I just haven't met the man that I'm supposed to spend forever with yet. He could still be an HBCU graduate, but I'll accept him if he's not.

If you're reading this and you are single, where did you imagine meeting the husband you don't have yet? You can comment or find me on social media. MrsStarStatus (Twitter & Instagram), Lashuntrice Bradley on Facebook.

1 comment :

  1. I think I met the wrong husband at the non-HBCU I attended. Infact I attended the anti HBCU - the University of Oklahoma. After divorcing him years later - I just knew I would meet the husband I don't have somewhere in these suburbs of Atlanta. But it appears as if my Prince Charming is horrendously lost and I am much further along in my chapters in the book of life so I am a bit worried. Still I am not one to wait around on Prince Charming to show up on a horse --- so I just bought my own horse. Hopefully he'll show up on his own.