Monday, September 19, 2011

Love Changes Us: Five Ways Women Change In Relationships

Just Because Beyonce Is Number 1 Right Now
A friend of mines recently asked me if I had any days off other than the weekends. We both work, but she works odd days and has odd days off. Sometimes she may have a weekend off, but most commonly she's chilling at home once or twice during the week while everyone else is at work. Because of our schedules we rarely see each other, so when she asked me I told her we could hang out when I get off work. Worked ended, I called, and she said she'd be over. As soon as she arrived she spoke, her phone rang, it was her boyfriend wanting to see her, and then she was gone. Before she left she said they barely see each other (although they actually work at the same job and hang with each other during their free time). I thought her actions were a little rude, but I couldn't be mad at her. After all, love changes us.

Love changes us in various ways. In the beginning these changes aren't apparent. We think we're just being our normal selves, but as time goes on we notice the changes we make and I've happened to notice a few changes. Below are the top five changes women go through once we have a man in our lives.

Every Woman Is A Groupie
We think every woman is a groupie. If the woman is a co-worker we are curious to know how close she is to him. If the woman is his sister, we think she calls him too much and wants to see him too much. We don't want to lose the man we have, so we have our guard up. Every woman, especially if she looks like Draya, is an enemy to our relationship. You may blame Basketball Wives for this train of thought, but women have been like this since the beginning of time. After biting the apple Eve developed a form of jealousy, even though her and Adam were the only humans on earth. 

We Need Our Man Every Second Of The Day
If we are doing nothing then we need to be with our man. If we're working we need to be thinking about being with our man. If we're with our man, nothing else matters. We're supposed to be smothered by the special significant other and he's supposed to return the favor. Even if he's a little jealous, is as emotional as Drake, or likes to dress up as a woman, we are supposed to be loving and supportive every second of the day. If we stop showing some attention for a second, then we're bad girlfriends. 

Friends Become Pen Pals
Once we get into a relationship, we're supposed to drop our friends. It's sort of like that friend did me earlier. As she was walking out the door she tried to compare the last time she'd had time with him to the last time we'd hung out. It had actually been weeks she we hung out, but she reminded me that she hadn't seen him up close and personal in a week. That I can't argue with because it's one of the rules of relationships. You're supposed to treat your friends as if they are in prison and have limited visiting hours. Why do you think they created texts and instant messaging? 

We Do Unexplainable Shit
I couldn't wait to get at least one cuss word in this post, but it's true. We do unexplainable shit. For example one time a guy said he was feeling sick and he wanted me to see if he was really sick. I actually felt his head to see if I could feel the illness. After all, that's what women are supposed to do. We're supposed to check for a fever or something, but my dumb ass didn't even know how to do that. I was a lost soul doing it because he said do it. I couldn't even explain my actions and... he wasn't even my boyfriend. But seriously, girlfriends do unexplainable shit. We (when in relationships) call single women groupies when our man doesn't even have two cents to his name. We will drive around a city, even the other side of the city is an hour away, just to find our where our man is. Calling him would be easier, but being sneaky makes less sense and gives us something to do. We'll show up to wherever our man is without any warning and then try to explain why we did it (even though we have no real explanation). 

We Dramatically Change
I was reading today's post and Panama Jackson mentioned how when women break up, we do some kind of dramatic change. We may cut all our hair off, regain those lost friends, or do something productive in the most extraordinary way (according to Panama Jackson). However, while we makes changes after breaking up, we also make dramatic changes in a relationship. The first three examples are just some of those changes. Hell, our most dramatic change is that we forget about ourselves and make our man our whole world. Even if he has no car, makes minimum wage, has a criminal record, and five baby mama's we make him our whole world. Damn, that's a big change. 

Okay, those may not have been the top five changes, but they are very obvious ways we lose our minds over men. Have you done any of those? If not, is there any way you dramatically changed once getting into a relationship? Let me know. I'm curious. 

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