Sunday, September 25, 2011

Sunday Reflections: New Addiction Involving Change And New Pet Peeve

Sometimes I feel like no one is really paying attention. Okay, maybe the best friend has noticed and a few randoms, but the people I have to face every day have no clue. They want me to be content where I am, but they don't notice my goals. They think of all the side work and studying I do as a hobby, a waste of time. Someone recently asked me if there were any more Awkward Black Girl videos but then said they had more important things to do than look for the videos themselves. They think of me as unimportant. I'm unimportant because in their eyes I don't have any major accomplishments. Anyone can get a degree and anyone can find some job, even if it's not the job they want or need.That leads me to wonder that when I die, will people finally notice? Will these words mean anything? Will my articles, private thoughts, or poetry be recognized? Or will these still be private thoughts lost in a huge public world? Anyway, recently I discovered something huge about myself.

I'm addicted to change. Change can happen in many ways. It can take place in the form of moving. It can happen with a new hairstyle or a brand new wardrobe. Change can take place in relationships or even with marriage. Change can take place in families. Change is inevitable and recently I discovered that I'm addicted to it.

I'm addicted to the thought of moving. If you don't know about the California dreams, then you must be new to this blog and my life. Hello!!!

I'm addicted to changing up hairstyles. Granted, I've been doing this since the day I came upon the discovery of new money that was all mine and I need no one's permission to spend. I tried shoulder length hair, short hair, sew-ins, glued weave, wigs, colorful braids, and finally recently cutting all the perm off. Now there are these team natural people walking around, but I didn't do it to fit into a team. I did it to make a change. Someone (maybe Britney Spears or Cassie) once taught me that when life gets boring find the scissors and surprise the public.

I'm addicted to a new wardrobe. Stars taught me this addiction. Most stars shop and shop and shop and never wear the same clothes twice. They go from actors, actress, and singers to trend setters. Beyonce is not a trendsetter. Cassie is one of the most famous trendsetters out right now. Watching Cassie and other celebrities has caused me to want this perfect wardrobe that fits exactly who I am. The only problem is who I am keeps changing and the wardrobe has to change with it. Therefore I'm addicted to new clothes, which only strengthens the addiction to change.

I'm addicted to the thought of relationships. Maybe one of the reasons it never worked with with the men in the past was because when I needed change, they stayed the same. Whenever I meet the right man, I want him to grow with me. Growing means changing for the better. See how the addiction works itself out in a positive manner.

I'm addicted to change in families. This actually brings me to a big pet peeve. I used to be content with listening and never having anyone listen to me. It was as if my role was to obey, but never have an opinion or mind of my own. Now it's just plain annoying. People say respect your family, but when does that respect get returned to you? I'm addicted to change and respect has to be buried somewhere in the midst of that change.

Do you see change as good or bad?

1 comment :

  1. I'm addicted to the thought of moving. If you don't know about the California dreams, then you must be new to this blog and my life. Hello!!! << lol ha ha yea! and seriously, yay for change!!! it was such a beautiful thing. i really like the part about change in relationships too, bc i think often times ppl forget about the growing together aspect & just want things to stay the same as when they 1st met. and OF COURSE shopping & changing hairstyles is always good too :-)