Thursday, September 1, 2011

The Halle Berry Mentality And Other Types Of Single Black Women

Halle Berry is one of the most famous and (arguably) most beautiful single black women on this planet. At the age of 45 she has looks most 20-year olds can only dream of having. She has a body that most teenage boys actually want to fuck. How many young boys do you really know want to have sex with women their moms age? She's a single mom worth millions of dollars and she doesn't need or want a man to take care of her. In fact many people can arguably say that Halle Berry would rather be a single woman than have a man.

You may be thinking "Yeah Right," but there are several logical reasons why Halle Berry would rather be single than proudly sport a wedding ring. Some of their names are David Justice, Eric Benet, and Gabriel Aubrey. No one knows exactly what happened while Ms. Berry was with Justice, but when he divorced she took out a restraining order to make sure he stayed away from her. When Halle Berry was with Eric Benet the relationship wasn't the same. To show how great they were together and to express how much she loved his child, Ms. Berry adopted Benet's child as her own. However, their relationship was officially over when the public discovered that Eric Benet was a sex fiend. Unlike the others Gabriel Aubrey seemed to be Ms. Berry's perfect match, but after her child was born that relationship didn't last.

On top of all the bad "romantic" relationships Halle Berry has had, she also had a bad relationship with her father. So some might call Halle Berry a scorned woman. However,  I have a different description. I think of the scorned woman as someone like Betty Broderick. Mrs. Broderick was married for more than a decade, paid her husband's way through school, took care of her kids by herself, and he repaid her by marrying a younger a prettier woman. If you watch Lifetime you already know how that story ended. However, when like Halle Berry have a different mentality.

These women are pretty, can get any man's attention, can get a wedding ring and a couple kids out of a man, but can't seem to keep a relationship. Well, some of them can, but the tiniest problems have them running for the single life again. After they've gone through so much, they just don't give a damn anymore. They still want the family life, but having a man in the picture is no longer necessarily. A man being in the picture for too long complicates their life, because an issue will definitely arise. I refer to women with the "don't give a damn" mindset as having the "Halle Berry Mentality."

However, Halle Berry doesn't represent all single women. There are other kinds of single black women.

The Desperate Single Black Woman
I used to think that a part of being in a relationship involved wanting to be in one, but this changed when I got to college. According to some men, if a woman talks about how she would love to meet the man of her dreams (or thinks of every man as the man of  her dreams) she's desperate. Desperate is not good. The desperate black woman is a woman who acts as if she cannot live without a man. She will go as far as get in long distance relationships with strangers to make a love connection seem possible. In this age of internet, there are tons of strangers in relationships and they're using the L-word to describe their feelings. Those relationships don't last long because either the man is using her, he feels suffocated, or both are issues. 

The Independent Single Black Woman
If you ever come across a man that says he doesn't mind a woman who always pays for herself (and is willing to pay for him), he's lying. In the last decade (that's how long I've been paying attention) women have been screaming independent and men have been yelling cheap. Destiny's Child made two songs about this issue. One was "Bills Bills Bills" and the other was "Independent Women." Now you're probably wondering what would make an independent woman unattractive. She has her own house, car, and pays all of her bills without any help. She might have a kid or a few and is not worried about getting child support from a baby daddy. She probably came from a rough environment and found her way to the top of her game on her own. That should be attractive, but when a woman brags about being independent it does something that most men lie about. It threatens a man's man-hood.

 Society says men are strong, the ones women should need, and are head of the household. While men don't like to admit that they love being needed and they love spending the most money, they really do love those things. If a woman can do all that better than them and brag about it, she's unattractive. She robs them of their job by saying she has control and it's okay for a man to need her. Men aren't supposed to need women. So there's the independent single black woman who runs her mouth about being able to handle herself and in turn stays single. 

The Single Black Woman That's Waiting

See the media is obsessed with single black women because there are some black women that believe in prince charming. They've probable left a shoe, or articles of clothing, and hoped that man would get the message and become Mr. Right for them. There are also women who went on dates and right after the dates because they thought it would end perfectly and that man would want a relationship with them. You're probably wondering what this has to do with waiting. Many of these women didn't pretend to be "miss independent" and they didn't play "desperate." They waited, picked, and chose the men they wanted to become they one. When that man didn't become the one they waited some more. They didn't give every man  chance. Some of them are still single because of that. 

I like to think of myself as one of those single black women waiting. What are we waiting on? Not all of us know. We're not desperate because we're not out hunting for men. We haven't given up on men, but we know a bad new dude when we see one. Some women, like Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas, has a list of the kind of man they're waiting on. Others, like me, are just winging it. 

Which single black women are you? Do you have a Halle Berry mentality, are you desperate, too independent, or are you just waiting? 

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