Monday, October 24, 2011

Pet Peeve And Star Status Goal: Talking Too Much

Are you ever just in your own zone, but you be nice and speak to someone? It's supposed to be a "Hey, I see you and just want to speak" type of deal, but the other person starts a full blown conversation. They talk and you get lost in thought trying to figure a way to escape from them without coming off mean. Well, that happened to me recently but I was the one talking too much.

See, I have this problem. It's a pet peeve and an uncontrollable issue for me. When I get into conversations that are meant to be short and sweet, I actually want to talk. Maybe it's a loneliness issue or an issue with keeping too much inside for too long, but when I start talking I can't stop. I know they are thinking "What The Hell" and I'm thinking "Shut Up Lashuntrice," but I can never figure out how to just shut up. It's a star status disaster. Then again, it could be in my head. Maybe they are actually listening and the conversation is good. Then again, they could be getting annoyed. I've caught a few friends not listening to me. Then this also leads to another problem. 

I've talked too much and realized I should have been shutting up. So, when someone speaks to me and I know they are not really interested in my last 24 or 48 hours I tend to keep the conversation short and sweet. However, they look for more. They are surprised when I don't want to say any more than I've already said. Why talk when I know you're not interested in the world of entertainment? Why talk when you told me you don't have time on your hands to look up fun stuff on the web? Why talk when you think my life is a waste of time? Why talk if we're not close friends? That last one includes family. Or maybe it's in my mind. Maybe they really want conversation out of me, but I'm afraid I'll talk to much or say the wrong thing. May favorite types of conversations are explicit ones, but you can't talk to everyone in that manner? There are laws against it, so I shut up. 

I fuck up. I talk too much about writing to people who don't care about writing. When strangers approach me and I can't read them, I get quiet because I don't know what to say. I flirt with the wrong men, but get quiet when it comes to the men I like. I don't talk to friends enough, so innocent people get caught in the realm of listening to buried thoughts. That's what happened with that old classmate at the mall. 

Actually this isn't really a pet peeve. It's a problem I need to work on. It's a star status goal. Learn to hold conversations with the right people and shut up when the time is right. 

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