The goal didn't revolve around getting the perfect job. I'd been trying to get the perfect job forever and I was depressed. The goal didn't involve treating others better either. Have you noticed how you can become the nicest person in the world and people will still treat you like shit? It's because those people that haven't cared about your attitude in the past will not care in the future. The goal didn't involve being a good girl either. They say once a good girl goes bad she's gone forever. The goal involved being a hoe, or better yet heaux.
Heaux is how it's being spelled these days. It'll make it's way into the dictionary one day. Anyway at one point in my life I was tired of being a good girl. I wanted to know what sex felt and smelled like. By the way after multiple experiences with more than one man I now know sex smells like sweat. Anyway, I was curious and one night without really expecting it to happen, one guy became the lucky guy to help me break the good girl cycle and spread my legs wide. All it took was that one night and I became addicted.
Well the addiction wasn't to sex. No, I'm not that kind of addict. There are no hidden porn videos or no secret sexual books. There are no men hiding in the closet and no Marvin in his room reminiscing about the steamy nights we had. Due to a strong will I can control my sexual urges, but there is one thing that I became heavily addicted to.
The thing is actually a human and that human is known as Man. Well, in my sense it would be men. I've loved men all my life, but after having sex for the first time starting to notice their obvious ways more. The smell of their cologne enticed me more. The color of their eyes called out to me more. The way they stared and licked their lips created more fantasies in my head. I dreamed (and still do) about all of the sexual tricks they could do and the goals they could help me achieve.
Okay, I'm lying a little bit. I've always been a sucker for puppy love so fantasy and all those other thoughts were just thoughts. In reality it was all about meeting the perfect man and encouraging each other to do our best forever and ever and ever. However, sometimes they love sick puppy thoughts get boring, so this year I decided to make a new goal. That goal would be to become a heaux.
Heaux's supposedly have sex for fun and always easily move on to the next man. That was my plan. Meet a man, have sex, and then move on to another man. I did meet a man too, but he wanted to become my boyfriend. No one had ever asked me that before, so I dropped the heaux goal and became his girlfriend. Then he broke up with me. Almost as soon as he broke up with me I was texting another man. It was perfect for being a heaux, but my heart was a little achy and I couldn't go along with it. However, given some time I did manage to let some dude bust it wide open again. This was a different guy and not my ex. The new guy was cool, but stress started to build in my life. I needed to calm down and focus on other important matters. That was around the time that that goal of being a heaux became forgotten.
So yeah, I failed at a goal this year. Do you think that was a good goal to fail at? Do you even believe I actually made a goal like that with expectations to succeed? I don't believe you. You're probably just thinking I'm crazy.
Maybe I'll try this again for 2012. Or maybe the love of my life will reveal himself and make me his future baby mama.
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