Saturday, December 3, 2011

Is Beyonce Bored?/ I'm Feeling Bored With The Moment

Approximately four years ago (this is sort of made up) we started hearing that Beyonce might be pregnant. Around the same time it was announced that Beyonce had married Jay-Z. While the marriage was true, the pregnancy mentions were only rumors. Instead of a baby on the way she had a full blown career that was getting better, a good man by her side, and more money than she knew what to do with. However, Beyonce's success did not stop the rumors from resurfacing yearly. Each year it was announced that Beyonce had a baby on the way and each time she would denounce the rumors, sing her heart out, and show the world that no pregnant woman could drop it like it's hot like her. Then something strange happened.

At the beginning of 2010, almost two years ago, Beyonce announced that she was taking a break. Throughout the year she would refuse to work on any new songs, talk to any press, do any award shows, or do anything else that involved her working. Instead she decided she would tour the world. While touring the pregnancy rumors resurfaced. This time she did not fight them. Instead she continued to tour the world with Jay-Z by her side. How did we know she was touring? The paparazzi always had a new fabulous photo of her caught off guard. However, while everyone was stalking Beyonce's career moves people forget to analyze why she'd put her life on pause for a year long vacation. Was Beyonce tired? She clearly works hard. Was she under a lot of stress? Well they (whoever they are) do say that more stress comes with more money. Or was she just bored with the direction of her life? Just because you're good in a certain area and you keep getting better does not mean you will always be excited about what you do. So could Beyonce have just been bored with what she was doing?

Definition of Boredom = the state of being restless through lack of interest

After her year long break Beyonce did come back into the limelight ready to sing. She started her career back with the song "Girls Run The World," but many felt Willow Smith would have done the song more justice. Then after months of anticipation Beyonce released her summer CD 4. Each song on the CD was great, but none of them had a pattern that matched the others. It was as if the CD was thrown together in a matter of hours with no real effort put into it. After about a week Beyonce and her fans were done talking about her latest release and back to her fashion. The paparazzi stalked her with nothing to really reference until the Grammy awards in August.

At the Grammy awards in August while performing on stage Beyonce debut a baby bump. While showing it off she glowed, Jay-Z jumped up and down with excitement, and the world shed happy tears. After years of denying baby rumors, she finally told the world she was ready to be a mother. But what changed her mind? Was Beyonce tired of solely being a career woman? Just look at her efforts in the music world in the past year. Was she pressured by the media to finally have a baby? Rumors and family can have that effect on a person. Or was Beyonce simply bored with her current surroundings and  wanted to add something new and exciting? What's newer and more exciting than a baby?

Wait, this isn't really supposed to be about Beyonce. The thought of being bored has been heavily on my mind, but I've been afraid to say or write it for others to know. Now I'm ready though. I'm bored with life. I'm bored when I go to sleep and bored when I remember that I'll wake up to a repetitive day the next day. I get bored just sitting down to eat and become more bored when someone reminds me of how person (or not perfect) my current situation is. This is no ordinary boredom either.

It's not the kind of bored where you go to the mall, spend a lot of money, and then have dreams about angels. It's not the kind of bored where you can find a good man, have great sex, and feel renewed and ready to face the repetitiveness after. This is the kind of boredom where you find yourself staring at a white wall for two hours contemplating how you can make a change that will make everything better, more exciting, and help fight the mean old boredom bully away. This is the kind of boredom where you wake up one day, realize you've been living your life for others, you've been bullied and worn out when it came to following your heart, and you're tired of all the boredom you have to continually face. This is the kind of boredom where no matter what anyone says thoughts of the wonderfully new unknown adventures continue to haunt your dreams whether you're sleep or awake.

So I'm bored, but I'm not about to have a baby like Beyonce. Instead my goal for now and the future is to figure out how to turn my bored life into one of pure never ending excitement.

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