Friday, November 7, 2014

Facts Men Have Taught Me About Myself

From Instagram To My Own Personal Meme
Hello world, my name is Lashuntrice and I'm 28 years old. The age of 18 was a long time ago and 30 is right around the corner. This means that although there are plenty of life lessons to go, there are a couple that I've already found out about myself.

Some people see life lessons as experiences of finishing school, working a job or several jobs, having kids, and getting their heart broken. I see those as chores. Some chores eventually get done while others continue on and on. The chore of waking up for school eventually ends at some point when you get that diploma or multiple diplomas. The chore of cleaning the kitchen after eating is continual. See, I'm not talking about those.

I'm talking about actual life lessons I've learned in these 28 years and today it's all about what men have taught me about myself.

Being Attracted To Someone Doesn't Have To Come With A Reason
Ask a man why he likes you and most of the time he has no real reply. He might say you're cute, but he also thinks 10 other women that look nothing like you are cute too. I've asked a million times why a man likes me, especially the ones who aren't looking for relationships, and the replies are always vague. This has in turn taught me that I can like a man just because I want to. I don't need to explain why to anyone. However, most of the time when someone asks I like to give real shallow answers.

Apologies Aren't Needed
When a man hurts a woman's feelings, all he has to do is apologize and the sky is blue again tomorrow. However, not all men apologize. Some men just want us to get over whatever they said to hurt our feelings and be happy again. I'm not the one to be playing that game with. I'll accidentally hurt a nigga's feelings right back and expect him to get over it eventually.

Flirting With Taken Men Is Okay
I don't mind flirting with taken men anymore. It all started in 2010 when a (supposed) friend harassed me about flirting with the boyfriend (at the time) of another (supposed) friend. I didn't know who the girl was dating and the guy actually came up to me and started talking. I wasn't soliciting the attention of any guy. He walked up on his own damn will and those girls stood far off and judged me. Because of that experience I don't care about flirting with men in relationships. I'm not going to search out a man that has a girlfriend or wife, but if he is privately messaging me or trying to do something with me, he's the one she needs to be mad at.

It Ain't Nothing To Cut A Nigga Off
Whether he's single or in a relationship, I can easily cut him off. This isn't just inspired by a song. There have been so many men that disappeared from my life for no reason that I figure I can do the same. Actually a lot of people I once called friends disappeared, but that's another story. Plus I'm a Scorpio. I either like him or he's just a distant memory.

It's Okay To Need A Man
Okay, there have been some good lessons from men. I've learned that some men really do want to be the gentleman, so it's okay to need a man. A college friend used to get on me for not waiting for him to open the door. Not even my dad had ever enforced something like that. I've also learned that some men do like to cuddle. Maybe the cuddling part is their way of trying to make us feel safe. However, my fear of cuddling is that I'll get comfortable and right when I get comfortable the relationship will be over.

It's Also Okay To Protect Your Emotions
Men are a whole lot more guarded than us women when it comes to emotions. It's tougher to get to know them and much tougher to get them to continue to open up. If we hurt their feelings, there is no getting to know any more information about them. The same goes for men who are attracted to us, but don't want relationships. There's not much we can get out of them and that in turn has taught me that I don't have to be transparent to every man I meet. Every man seems to want me to immediately fall in love with him, but I have a heavy guard up because men taught me to.

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