Wednesday, November 12, 2014

The World Isn't Made To Protect A Woman

When you pay attention to a man long enough, you learn him. When you pay attention to a bunch of men long enough it makes it harder and harder to give yourself to any man. While there are exceptions, they tend to have some cruel thought processes.You don't want to give them your time because it's seen as being clingy, or your attention because it makes you a beaux, or even your body because it makes you worthless to them. Some men eventually grow wiser, but then there are some that spend their whole lives in a competition to see how many women they can hurt.

A friend once asked me if something horrible had happened in my past. When it came to really private matters, I was the most reserved. When it came to answering certain questions, I couldn't put the sentence together to answer some things, so it worried her. I wasn't raped. Even with a father in my household, I couldn't be protected from the crazy thoughts of boys at a young age. Some people think a two parent household as a lifesaver for girls and boys to grow up and be presidents and first ladies.

However, I remember at 14 or 15 a cousin telling me about how he was breaking up with a girl just so he wouldn't have to buy her a Valentines day gift. To him it was hilarious, but it was the first exposure to problems I myself would have to face. Just as a teen I listened in on conversations boys had. They talked real dirty about a lot of girls, but then of course I saw them smiling in those same girls faces. Some of them already had the mentality that all girls were heauxs. You could probably say that I threw my guard up at an early age.

I had to. As women once we hit a certain age we aren't just being physically bullied by men. Other women see us as threats too. We're threats because we might try and take another woman's boyfriend or husband, because the next man might see one of us as prettier than the other, or because a man might take one of us more seriously.

I've learned a huge lesson from having my guard up. This lesson has increased even more when putting my guard down and being more open with people. It is that the world isn't made to protect a woman. As a woman, I have to protect myself. I can't be prepared for everything that comes my way, but I have to know how to emotionally nurse myself after each problem comes along.

This was written based off of Tyece's (Twenties Unscripted) blog post Part 2 The Battle For Reawakening: Sexuality & Sexual Assault. You should go read it.

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