Saturday, April 30, 2011

Pet Peeve: When People Ask About Ex Boyfriends

It never fails. I'm trying  to get to know a new guy. Everything is good. We're talking and laughing and then he makes the statement. "Tell me about your ex's." Well, some phrase it differently. Some want to know how many there were and others want to know what happened for them to stay in the past. Although it should be the simplest question in the world to answer, it's not. It's also the most private question in the world, especially when I barely know this new guy. Those are just a few reasons why I hate when guys want to know about the ex-boyfriends. 
Another reason is I technically don't have ex-boyfriends. Okay, in someone's mind they are all probably my ex-boyfriends, but this is the way I think. Well I have one real one, but that relationship was so fast it might as well have never happened. The other guys never made it past the "getting to know you" stage. That stage is also my getting comfortable stage. If I'm not comfortable I'm not going to want any guy to call me his girlfriend and I'm not going to call him my boyfriend. 

The biggest reason why I hate the question is it makes me feel like I messed up. Middle and high school should have been the times I where I starting trying to get into a real committed relationship. They should have been the testing times so I would know what to do once I got older. However, I didn't date during those years. I blame it on  insecurity. Once I got to college it was too late to know what to do right, so I messed up. Sometimes purposely. There were times where I kissed too fast, took off my clothes too fast, hugged too fast, and even spoke too quickly. It all starts with a simple "hello." Although these guys were around and these things happened I wouldn't qualify any of them as ex-boyfriends. Being a boyfriend has a certain level of commitment attached to it and none of them had that commitment. 

Therefore I hate when I'm asked about my ex-boyfriends. 
(Written by an innocent girl with a lot of experience. That's going to make sense to someone.)

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