Saturday, June 23, 2012

Disconnected From The Real World

Today I got off work and imagined driving to a nice quiet apartment. 

In that apartment the temperature would be just right, the bed would be extremely comfortable, and the television would gladly be available for me to watch it. Even if I didn't want to watch it books would be readily available for me to read. 

My clothes would be ready for me to take them off the minute I stepped in the door. There would be no staying fully dressed out of respect for others. I'd walk in the house and strip everything off. Okay, maybe I'd leave on underwear and a t-shirt. Once undressed I'd be totally at ease. 

Well, then again I'd pop some popcorn (my snack of choice) and put in a movie. Maybe I'd watch it in the bedroom or maybe I'd make myself comfortable in the living room. 

This whole time there would be no one to disturb me. I would not be disturbing anyone. It would be my own quiet, or noisy from music or television, oasis. I'd relax and disconnect from the real world. 

Wait, I already am disconnected from the real world. The fantasies are real. They start off as mere thoughts and then become a total lifestyle captured in only my imagination. 

There's the life where I've already moved to Los Angeles and I'm learning the art of being an entrepreneur. I'm getting lost in a new big city, going to cool events, discovering new crazy hoods, and creating a brand new home. 

In another figment of my imagination I've fell in love with traveling. I've fallen so hard that no one can make me stay in one place. I quit my job, learn how to write and get paid from the computer, and explore as much as possible. In the midst of it all I have lots of true stories to tell about places others have never been.

There is also the fantasy where I can't figure my life out. In the midst of trying to many men come out of nowhere wanting to help. Some are strangers and some are what you might refer to as ex boyfriends. They flop into my life with ideas of success and us being together. It's a Bonnie and Clyde situation, except we're playing to successful entrepreneurs. 

Then there's the life where I mess up. In it I accidentally settle for a man right where I am. After settling I eventually get pregnant. Everything in my heart screams leave, but with a baby on the way I'm stuck. The baby daddy keeps telling me of all the great things the future holds, but he's really boring me. He never wants to do anything and I'm afraid when the child comes into the world my life will really be over. I might end up like Mimi on Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Or I'll end up like one of those parents that eventually forget they ever had a dream and their family becomes their whole world. 

Well, there's also a recurring dream I keep having. This dream involves being a mistress, but the sex part is so worth it. The sex is so good that I wake up confused. Well, that's because it feels so real. Although when I wake up I also feel very alone because mistresses get left in the middle of the night so men can go back to their wives. 

Wait... none of that is real, but my real life bores me so much sometimes I can't help but fantasize. Sometimes I'm so disconnected from the real world and honestly I just can't help it. 

No comments :

Post a Comment