Friday, November 30, 2012

Different Places (Poetic Story)

As we chill, you and me, we’re supposed to be vibing to the surroundings. The music playing softly over the speakers, the current football game showing on one tv, news on the other, the food barely touched in front of us. Forget the families and couples around laughing, playing, eating, flirting, just having a good time. There’s so much to go over.

Like who are you? Are you my type? Not a guy that’s totally focused on money, but one that can balance it off with lots of good times. Not the guy that’s looking for the right woman to build the perfect family, but the one that will run away on a random weekend with me to an unknown city just to get away. Take me on dates to clubs, not just nice elegant restaurants. Sneak into random bathrooms to make love.
But as you ask me about my work day and dive in about your 40 hour work week that turned into 80 hours, I can’t concentrate. You've lost me. My mind is wandering.

It’s been a while since we last hung out. Two friends who've known each other for a long time, but we were destined to take a break. Our lives have been heading in two different places. You met the man of your dreams and immediately started making wedding plans. Now the bulk of your conversations are on financial plans, having savings, building stability with your man in this shaky economy. You spit out grocery store coupons, the best places to go to save money, and often times how to fix your relationship problems.

As I talk about this cool restaurant with food that tastes so good, you try to convince me it’s better to cook. I’m hearing you, but not paying attention. Not ready to settle and the man that mouths “one night stand me” while the seafood restaurant screams out “come spend money on me” and the exotic place screams “you’ll really like visiting me” I just can’t vibe with you. You’re getting to stability while my mind is just heading toward crazy.

As the co-worker shows me her babies my mind silently shouts “Don’t hold me back please.”
Their cute bodies, so small, so innocent, so full of nothing but hopes and dreams, and wishes to be taken care of are just not what I’m ready for. So right in front of her eyes, I go into a daydream.

His name is Unimportant and he’s come to rescue me from a future of working 9- 5 only to come home to change diapers and eventually fall asleep to a husband who’s too tired to continue to love me the way it was in the beginning.

And as that friend talks about saving money, I imagine a future of making barely enough, not being able to make all ends meet, being stalked by bills, having overdue rent, all because I went and spent my money on some event. Maybe it was a couple different places. I had to see R. Kelly in concert, had to see Christian Keys in that new movie, had to take that spur of the moment trip to the Bahamas. “What happened to her? She used to be so responsible?” And that’s when I start to question myself.

Are my thoughts bad for my health?

When she went home to her man, I went to the mall for some cute pants. They'd work well for a night of unexpected plans.

His job title says 40 hours a week, but his work load keeps him gone for weeks at a time. Is that the man I should be looking for?

Those co-workers are people I see on a daily basis. Maybe my life should mirror theirs?

But as I think about settling, my mind goes into another day dream, another fantasy, about what could be if I’m just being me.

We’re in different places.

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