Thursday, March 7, 2013

What's Wrong With Being His Only Woman?

What's really wrong with being the only woman in his life? The older I get the more being some man's only woman becomes an issue. Why is this an issue? At 26 I'm still being approached by men who believe in keeping their options open. They claim I'm pretty, smart, etc. but after a couple times of hanging out they throw out the "staying single" card. 

This staying "single card" usually comes in the form of "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." My first thought is always "Then why the fuck you approach me and keep talking to me?" However, I don't say that out loud. Maybe I should one day. Instead I shake my head and ask the guy why. Most men don't have logical excuses for saying this. It's just how they feel. I understand. What I don't understand is why they think I'm going to be okay with playing the side chick role. 

If your man is not claiming you as his woman, but y'all are dating and fucking (or maybe just fucking), you are a side chick. What's wrong with being a side chick? Well you are sharing him. If he is putting you in a category as one of his chicks, then he could be with me too. You don't know my sexual history, probably don't know his, and you are putting your body at risk. Wait, is that just my fear? I think about this every time a man says those words "I'm not looking for a relationship right now," but he still wants to be involved with me. How many other women is he seeing? Could he be putting me at risk for an STD if I continue to see him? This is not a game. 

Another problem is I'm supposed to be getting to know this guy. If he's seeing two or three other women I don't have his full attention. He can't have my full attention because clearly no real bonding is being done. The bonding was broken when I found out he was preoccupying his time with other women. Maybe my problem is when I start seeing a man, I assume he should only be seeing me also. It takes away a lot of questions. 

The hardest part of this is I'm selfish. I want what I want. If I'm dating a man, it means I really like him. Therefore I know that I want him to be only seeing me. I'm we're having sex, there is absolutely no reason he should be going to another woman's house tomorrow and having sex with her. He's with me after all. 

Actually, I'm a good woman. I've worked hard for everything I have. I live a very fun life and love hard. I deserve a man that will do that same. He should provide me with joy, happiness, and comfort. A situation where he's seeing other women offers no joy, happiness, or comfort. 

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