Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Practicing Self Preservation

Be Safe. Be Careful. Stay out of trouble.

I don't understand this thing called safety anymore. Staying out of places were the crime rate is high is smart. Staying away from a place where people are sure to not like me and no one will defend me is the right thing to do. Wanting someone to come along with me wherever I go is also a good idea just in case I can't protect myself.

Protect Yourself.
I can't always count on someone to be with me. Most of the time I can't count on someone to just answer the phone. As a woman, the idea of being protected by someone has been stuffed down my throat. As a child, I was taught that my parents protect me. They couldn't protect me from everything though.

From a child on up, the idea that a man would come into my life and protect me has been stuffed down my throat. It's the Cinderella fantasy. Cinderella works her ass off for mean ass society until prince charming comes along and makes her a housewife. According to Sheryl Sandberg (currently reading Lean In), this has been the mindset for a long time. However, realistically being an independent woman might be tough, but it's necessary for survival. Plus, no guy under the age of 30 (maybe 40) wants to be the financial provider of the household. It's my generation's mindset. That's where feminism plays a high role.

Practice Self Preservation.
Feminism is not always a word that everyone can understand. The meaning is very simple if anyone looks it up. Feminism means being a woman that has to take care of herself in all circumstances. A lot of women are feminists, but for some reason men are intimidated by these words. While feminism intimidates men, they can relate to self preservation.

Self preservation for a man is chasing after money all the time. It's calling all women they don't understand, make them feel all kinds of insecure, or can't get in bed a heaux. Self preservation for a man is making others feel less than perfect because he can't comprehend his own imperfections. Men are good at thriving with his.

As a woman, self preservation is all about having thicker skin. I have to be able to stand up against the men whose favorite vocabulary words are heaux, shone, THOT, slut, Bitch, etc. Self preservation is being able to confidently say I'm better than others even if I'm really not. A couple days ago a girl in school to become a surgeon was attacked because most of her pictures have captions stating how she's better than the women who spend their nights in the club. She's just preserving her sanity the best way she knows how.

Know what works for yourself.
There is this saying that goes "The older you get the more you realize you know nothing." I do think that the older we get, the more we realize we don't know what's going on with the people around us. We learn knew things about people we've known for years and we meet lots of new people. However, while we are busy learning others, we also have to continually learn ourselves. In order to thrive in this world I have to know what works for myself. I have to know what is safe for me to do on my own, how to protect myself physically and emotionally, and what to tell myself so that I can make it another day without breaking down completely.

On the other hand, when all else fails breaking down completely works too.

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