Why do some women repeatedly date the same types of men?
FALLACY OF THE FAMILIAR . .
It's simple. These women don't know what they want from a man.
I've heard women say, "I don't know why I keep choosing the same types of men." There are no excuses for not knowing why. The truth is you don't want to deal with reality. Stop letting men keep you. Decide if you want him.
Lots of women have experienced physical, mental, emotional, and financial abuse. Some (like myself) have been raped and molested. I learned early in my life that bad things do happen to good people. Despite whatever has happened, we still have the power to NOT allow any man to use or abuse us.
Women trade one bad relationship for another because deep inside they don't feel worthy of love, respect, trust, and adoration from any man. My saying is, "I love myself more than anyone else." My affirmation of self-love has kept and continues to keeps me strong & HAPPY. I don't let men stress me out with their nonsense. That's why I date openly. That's my decision and choice. What's yours?
Too many women open their legs before opening their minds and letting a man open his heart. Stop giving your love away. Let him like/love you more. Sexy nor beauty has a shape or image. There is a price to pay for having a decaying heart. First your spirit dies, then you perish. Give your heart a total makeover . . . truly learn to love yourself.
In Parts 1 & 2, I've given you the tools to work on your attitude and appearance, now let's deal with mate selection:
1) You must identify your needs and your desires.
2) You must take time to learn the lessons.
3) You must recognize the patterns and identify the signs.
Take a moment, jot down your relationship needs & desires. You can type notes in your PDA or write yourself a letter. Your needs are the things you must have like respect, consideration, honesty, etc. Keep it real and don't expect to receive that which you're not willing to give. If you don't know what you want from a man, you are going to settle for whatever he offers. Never give too much too soon. That's a common mistake lots of women make.
If you don't learn any lessons from your breakups, you're destined to repeat the same mistakes. So the man you truly loved is gone. You're distraught, upset, an emotional wreck. You, cry. Can't eat. Can't sleep. Eventually your broken heart heals but still has a hole in it. You meet another man and start dating. You're happy with your new love(r).
The hole in your heart represent your failure to bring closure to your previous relationship. You didn't determine why the relationship ended; you're just happy he's gone. The next man perhaps sees in you what your ex saw and gradually he begins to treat you the same way. What signals are you sending men?
You must recognize the signs. I call them 'red flags' that indicate warnings. If you can communicate with your ex, that's a good place to start. You're not trying to rekindle the relationship, you're seeking to understand yourself. Ask him, "What do you believe was the demise of our relationship?" Listen to his response. See if there are any similarities with your new relationship. If so, you have the power to change your behavior.
Ladies, you are in control. Remember Parts 1 & 2, then add theses tips from Part 3.
IMPORTANT! Ladies, when you know better, you can do better. Compromise. Never settle.
TOMORROW I'll address DATING AFTER DIVORCE & DATING WITH KIDS.
MARY HONEY B MORRISON
New York Times Best-selling Author &
Relationship Sexpert
www.marymorrison.com
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