Monday, July 1, 2013

Open Letter To The Men That Might Break Up With Me

I just found out that Ne-Yo has ended his relationship with his long-term girlfriend/baby mama, Monyetta Shaw. However, he didn't just break up with her. He posted a picture via instagram showing everyone the relationship is over. 

This type of break-up revealing could be either good or bad, but I'm here for it. I'm so here for it that I have a little advice for the men who might break up with me. Keep reading. 

Dear Future Boyfriends Who will Grow To Dislike Being With Me,
That's long, isn't it? Well, if you date me there could be a possibility of us ending. Who knows why our relationship would end. Maybe you like steak while I can eat seafood and chicken everyday. Maybe it's because I don't cook enough for you. It could also be because your baby mama has a nasty attitude. I can't stand baby mamas. It could definitely be the fact that I won't fight with you. If we don't think alike, I'm not going to stress about it. Man, there could be so many reasons you'd want to leave me. 

Although who'd really break up with me? I'm beautiful, charming, a child of God. Did I mention sexy and loves to wear sneakers? I'm short, but even tall men love short women. I can cook, but I tend not to. If you don't mind only one home cooked meal a month, we'd never split. Home cooked meals mean I'm not exploring whatever is going on outside of the house. I crave adventure. Most men like an adventurous woman. Oh, and I have dark skin. You know how they feel about dark skinned women? 

If you start dating me you'll know I'm great, but there's still a chance we'll split unfortunately. So when we split I want you to pull a page from Ne-Yo's book. Go hard. Announce to the world we're not together anymore. Videotape yourself crying over not having me anymore, even if you ended it. Add the video to instagram, Facebook, and youtube. Then make sure to send a link through twitter. Let it be the best break-up announcement ever.

From Your Future Girlfriend,
Lashuntrice AKA Mrs Star Status

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