Black Women Love Sticking With Black Men (Why It's Okay)

At one point relationships and single people issues were kept between the people who had to deal with them. However, in recent years (well as long as I've been in the dating game) relationship issues have been a topic that's discussed among everyone in the world. These issues are so big that the media has managed to pin point the problems to a certain group of people, black women.

As a black woman I've been compelled to pay attention to what the media says and the studies have been shocking. (The following is a summary of what I've read). According to the millions of studies there are more single black women than any other race, black women are the most compelled to settle for less than they deserve, they won't date outside of their race, are ugly, and conceded. The last two came from the Pyschology Today article that people could not stop talking about for weeks. Basically all these results together have led me to the conclusion that society thinks black women cannot get into fulfilling relationships that last forever because we're doomed.

While I just stated a million different reasons, the main focus is on black women not wanting to date outside of our race. This topic has been on my mind heavily lately because I'm one of those black women who don't like dating outside her race. However, a recent conversation justified why I'd rather deal with black men than widen my dating pool. It all started with a Facebook status.

It had been a long week and I was feeling the need for relaxation with some company other than family. Actually I was feeling the need for a strong man to wrap his arms around me and make me feel comfortable. That feeling led me to update my Facebook status.

 I simply put "I want to cuddle."

Three men responded to the status. Just in case you're wondering I wasn't looking for a response. Two of the men are actually in Florida. One of them was definitely playing when he responded. The other might have actually imagined the two of us meeting somewhere between Florida and Texas and then cuddling up on a couch with nice air blowing on us. Hey, it's over 100 degree outside. However, the third response came from a person who is in the same city as me and he was for real.

Random Guy, not the one I was talking to. 

The biggest problem with this guy is I've never met him before. However, that did not stop him from stating how much he's been wanting to have sex with me. You're probably wondering where sex came from. Within 30 seconds of writing me he stated how he wanted to cuddle, but cuddling would definitely lead to other things. While my mind was not on sex, I played along for a while. I entertained his fantasy, but then started to get real tired of him. While his mind was roaming, he was saying too many things that were turning me off.

One of those things was about the usage of condoms. The guy had the nerve to ask me how I feel about protection. Remember, I never met him in person. Before I could respond he told me that sex feels a whole lot better going raw. Now who the fuck decides they are not using a condom with someone they're meeting for the first time?

By this time the feeling of wanting to cuddle was down to 0 on a scale of one to ten. However, I kept talking to him. I was that bored. I then started to tell him that I was innocent and wouldn't be the one for him. That was the wrong move. Apparently, he's one of those guys who like to teach. I also informed him that I've never been with a guy outside of my race. He's Hispanic. That also excited him. There was one more very important question I needed to ask before I completely ended the conversation. It was about the amount of women he's had sex with.

See, the number is very important to me. While I'm not Mary (Jesus' mom), I can still count the amount of men I've had sex with on one hand. It's true, but with this guy it was a different story. He hesitated to answer at first. Then he replied back by saying over 40 women, but his shame must have gotten to him. He then said the amount just means he's really good at sex.

Actually, that number does not make him good. It makes him a certified hoe. So the dude is a hoe, has sex without condoms, has one-time sexual encounters with women (internet pimpin), and is not black. Can you say this dude is not the type any of us would want to deal with?

While he was just one guy, he's a good example of why I'd rather just love (or lust after) black men. I'm happier doing bad with a man of my own skin complexion.