Can I Be Dependent On You? (2011 Poem)

I've always thought of myself as a very independent. Like everyone else there have been times where I needed a little financial assistance, but physically and emotionally I've been alone. Well, I'm discovering that I have friends that are willing to be there for me during emotional times, but for the longest I've always felt I had to hold it in. Even recently someone very close to me talked to me about never depending on anyone whether it be for financial needs, emotional needs, or physical protection. So I wrote this poem called "Can I Depend On You." Check it out below.

   Can I Be Dependent On You

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Can I Be Dependent On You Cause all I know Is Independence…

My bills, my car, my phone, my room, my mind and the sometimes irresponsible thoughts that come out of it…. It’s my fault if the bill isn’t paid, the dishes aren’t clean, laundry isn’t done, the room looks a mess, the last guy I went on a date with didn’t get laid… If the tears stream down my eyes it’s my fault, because my independence created the sadness that won’t go away…

Can I Be Dependent on you cause independence can be a bitch…. The hard work that 8 hours a day consumes of, can’t please everybody every single day, trying to communicate with friends and family, independently remembering all these things, but still smiling cause someone said block out the pain…past, present, and future….the only person who can make you happy is you, so independently putting a smile on my face and independently hiding the rain that wants to come out of me…

But can I depend on you cause independence is tiring….tired of taking myself to the movies, dinner, the park, poetry nights....coming off as the lonely girl…others hug their significant others and ask “why are you alone,” but too independent to tell them my independence created this… Someone told me to be independent, need no friends, hang with no one, be my own company, so I pushed everyone away… but I’m ready to be dependent again…

So can I be dependent on you to make me feel like someone’s there, someone cares, someone will have my back if I ever fail? There’s always someone better, but can I depend on you to not chase better? Someone once said whether a significant other, friend, or family member never be dependent. Never look for anyone for help, keep the tears to yourself, act like you’re the best and never let anyone see you melt. But I want to share my tears and possibly heal, so will you be there for me?

Will you care and depend on me too, open up cause I’m sharing with you, call me your boo because between us true love surely waits? I’m so independent, but can I depend on you, count on you to be there? Someone once said to form a relationship you have to give, so will you let me sit my independence aside so I can be dependent on you?