Monday, November 18, 2013

"Fuck Nick Cannon" New Stand-Up Is Hilarious

This past weekend Nick Cannon cracked jokes at himself and others in a new stand-up comedy titled "Fuck Nick Cannon." Like the title gives away, this is not a comedy for children. Nick gets vulgar talking about sex a lot, 50 Shades of Grey, joking on Chris Brown and domestic abuse, and just being his funny self. The shoes Nick wore had real diamonds in them. He topped those shoes off with an all white suit and black tie. Check out a few quotes I pulled from the show below. 

Years Being Married
At the beginning of the comedy Nick asked who has been married a while. A couple said 50 years and then he went on to joke about marriage and freakiness. He even said he uses the bathroom with the door white open in front of Mariah Carey. "Aye baby won't you sing me a song real quick to help me get this out." 

50 Shades of Grey
"I've been with plenty of women and ain't none of them been turned on by paperwork." At one point during is 50 Shades rant, he used the word freakschianity. Don't spell check that. 

Having Twins
"You got to get in the fallopian tubes to get twins." Freaky jokes started off the conversation of having kids. 

Tasting Breast Milk
Nick asked the crowd if they ever tried breast milk. I'm pretty sure a lot of men have wanted to. There's a spotlight for it on some porn sites. In Nick experience, he said he didn't want the baby milk but he's addicted to it now. "Best part of waking up is titty milk in your cup." 

Being Diagnosed With Lupus
"The doctor said I had lupus....I don't even know Lupe Fiasco like that." It takes a strong person to make fun of their illness. 

There's plenty more material Nick discussed that is hilarious. If you have Showtime or OnDemand, make sure you watch "Fuck Nick Cannon" for a lot of laughs. He's a media mogul, but he still funny as Hell. 

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